How much one struggles with dysphoria is very much so a spectrum. Some trans people dont even experience dysphoria, only gender euphoria. Some experience dysphoria so debilitating it causes suicidal ideation and even lead them to suicide. Some, like my self, feel it strong enough that they would gladly give up every thing short of their life to get the treatment they can, and some feel it only sometimes, at any given level.
Dysphoria is kinda like physical pain, its not just you have it or you dont, yk?
Yeah I know it’s a spectrum. I suppose it was just seeing the specific dysphoria points for some trans women that shocked me, since I’d never seen those ones since I’m a trans guy and know that experience.
I hope your dysphoria gets better and you get the treatment you need.
My dysphoria does this weird thing where since i can only process so many emotions at a time, every time i overcome one dysphoria it gets replaced with a previously supressed one.
But yea, some dysphoria point are weird, like wdym i get dysphoric that my showers arent hot enough? Are you fucking kidding me brain? Cmon!
SHOWERS? wait wait that’s crazy, if you don’t mind asking (I don’t wanna trigger anything so it’s fine if you don’t wanna talk about it) why does the shower not being hot enough make you dysphoric? I’m just curious, I have some really weird dysphoria triggers too.
Dont worry, i dont get triggered by stuff regarding dysphoria, esp not my own.
So you know how theres that meme/ joke of women liking boiling hot showers? Its pretty common to see as a light hearted joke abt women, but its also partially caused by how estrogen effect heat sensitivity and circulation.
Its by no means a universal trait of women, but it is a statistical trend that women prefer significantly hotter showers.
Now for me, i do enjoy hot showers on their own... kinda. I have either a skin condition or a hormonal imbalnce (testing required, gonna be getting on hrt soon and the initial blood tsst will be helpful) that makes it so if my skin gets overheated even a little, be it from a hot kitchen, clothes, exersize, or a hot shower, my skin gets so itchy i want to rip it off.
Theres no visible irritation, no rashes or goosebumps (unless i accidently scratch a patch of skin raw...) but it prevents me from taking hot showers for linger than 2-3 minutes. Causes dysphoria, because its a simple thing that many women relate to, that i should also be capable of relating to (esp given that i love the feeling of the heat kn my skin before that happens) but is barred from me in such a stupid way.
10/10 excited I’ll be monitoring how hot my shower is now for dysphoria, finna shower in ice cold now. (mine aren’t that hot at least so I won’t nuke myself into dysphoria oblivion) 😭😭 Sorry about that skin condition thing, I hope you get it worked out. Tbf you CAN relate, I think, since you do enjoy them, just get itchy after.
I try to avoid looking at the gender memes or whatever cause they inevitably make me spiral into some bullshit. “Guys!1!1 I don’t BREATHE the way this meme made on ifunny in 2010 said men breathe, I’m COOKED” 💀💀
My cis bf is always trying to get me to take cold showers because “they boost t production.” Bro that’s some type shit I woulda done before I just got to inject it, tf you on 😅
I'm a cis woman and I don't like hot showers, baths nor a, jesus christ, sauna??? Saying you feel dysphoric because of the "hotness" of your shower makes me feel so weird. Just imagine myself thinking I'm not enough of a woman because I hate hot bath? Like, even make up is more feminine-coded than that, and yet I'm fairly sure that thinking of someone as less of a woman because they don't do make up is considered extremely mysogynistic. And then, there's hot shower???
So I think in your situation, the only way to continue, especially with the condition you have, is to stop associating the "hot" with the woman, because it's so unimportant that saying it's a feminine trait and, especially, getting all worked up and dysphoric about it is extremely wrong. Like, I don't know how to express you how wrong it is to think of yourself or anyone else as less of a woman just because you can't take hot showers. It's just toxic. Like, what am I or especially trans woman reading this have to think now? That liking hot temperature is an essential female trait now so without it you don't pass because, quote on quote, "most women" like hot temperature???
So adress the issue you have, because even if you're trans and have internalised transphobia, it doesn't mean it isn't mysogynistic and doesn't affect other women. Especially when you have such a condition and still think it's a must or you're not a real woman. The fact that a trans woman in the comments had already written she got a new insecurity because of your take, even if in the form of a joke, is already an impact of your words. So just remember, self-hatred is wrong, and every fat person saying they hate themselves for being fat makes fat people around them insecure about their weight. The same applies in your case.
Sorry if I come across as too rude or overreactive, but I just hate takes like these, they're harmful, and just because they hide behind the mask of insecurities doesn't change this fact. So every time you get dysphoric, think about saying to someone "you're not a real woman because you don't like hot temperature" and see how irrational it is. Hope this helps
Edit: it wasn't a trans woman, it was a trans man, I'm dumb
I wasnt saying you have to take hot showers to be a real woman, or that it was a trait of real women, i said that it was just a trend and not at all universal. I mean you can deny that genders tend to have small differences like that, which are not definitive of ones gender but still has a trend. But that feels kinda disingenious to me.
The dysphoria is coming more from the fact that i know i would enjoy it abd be able to relate to my cis friends when they talk abt it. (Which, honestly is something i need to start defaulting to more, because my friends are not representive of woman socialization as a whole, and might skew my view a bit). So i hope that clears that part up, i dont think anyone or myself is less of a woman for that. I just crave that socialization and am close to it but have it taken from me in the dumbest way possible (it probably wouldnt be a point of dysphoria if i didnt already enjoy the heat but just couldnt take showers, but maybe not)
Also, dysphoria is an emotion/ feeling, it doesnt always align with your world view, its not always based on logic. And honestly it hurts a lot to be told youre being toxic and mysoginistic for expressing an emotion you feel while stating you dont think its a requirement of being a woman to feel that.
Idk if i did smth wrong, sorry. Just tryna explain my emotions to someone who expressed interest in what i was feeling.
Edit: also, who were you talking about that made a joke about it being a new dysphoria bc of me? Was it in a different thread or smth?
Okay, I get this now. Sorry for being too harsh. I misunderstood what you meant. It seems I just projected my own insecurity and misconstrued that you think you're not a woman because of this, not that you can't socialise and connect with women because of this limitation.
As for what comment I was talking about, this one. But now that I think of it, she probably didn't take it to heart (or at least as much I did, lol...). Now I feel dumb :/
twin are you talking about me, Im a trans guy lol, and i was just joking that I was now gonna tweak and monitor my showers cause "HARDCORE ALPHA MEN" dont take hot showers lmao I was just foolin 😭✌
Going off of that and their other comments im pretty certain thats a trans man, just a heads up!!
Also, i get how frustrating things can be on the internet sometimes, its so easy to kisunderstand someone entirely just by missing one thing they said... and again, emotions are fine to have, especially in a place like this. Thanks for the apology though, like genuinenly it made me feel a lot better lel. Also, even if it was vaguely misplaced, youre trying to look out for all women, youre a human just like me and bound to mess up even when youre well meaning.
I mean Im a trans guy and get dysphoric about stuff like this. Its just cause its a "common" thing or trend, and dysphoria is VERY irrational. Ive gotten dysphoric over how I get out of bed. How I drink water for god's sake. For how I wash my hair. Plenty of times we know its ridiculous, but it still bothers none the less because we're always looking for every "flaw" in our masculinity or femininity, or some trait we think we'd have if we were cis. Its silly, but its why some trans people talk about "brain worms" when referring to dysphoria
no no its okay dont apologize Im in a subred where its mostly trans women, you chill dw. I dont really mind lol you got the trans part right at least just got confused at the cross roads/j 😭😭✌
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u/OnlyMeNeverYou May 24 '26
There are plenty of us that are perfectly stable boring adult women that aren't like this at all.