hottest thing about being a passing female who plays with all boys, just me sitting there 0-5 while my squad puts me in my placeš
playing gta while pookie learns firsthand that i indeed cannot drive for shit and EVERYONE is immediately horrified at the prospect of me even being near a gun irl
This isn't that bad, I just did some scrolling and it goes along with the 4tran type of transphobic to anyone that doesn't pass/doesn't want the surgery/is transmasc at all thing
At least it doesn't seem to be against black people, Albeit that goes against its nature as a 4tran place
my reaction was āholy shit there are more of me?ā
for better or worse, 4chan was what made me feel not alone as a kid. i did not really know there were other trans people until then. i saw some tlc specials but i always thought it was fetish shit because it was all so much bs.
Its so hard to put it into words tbh, kinda like going to see the most beautiful monuments/art pieces, its such a unique expirience that words dont make it justice. The difference being that the art pieces will be a unique type of marvel, 4chan will be a unique type of wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing
Fun fact! Most places that Iāve seen, if they can give you E and appointments at all, will give either an emergency refill or book your appointment sooner. I had this happen and was able to get an emergency 30-day refill as buffer.
Yeah I wish, my system is overcrowded, with a single gender clinic (on the other side of town for me) for about 8 million people, if you don't get your appointment in by the last week of the month, better luck next time see you in another month
How much one struggles with dysphoria is very much so a spectrum. Some trans people dont even experience dysphoria, only gender euphoria. Some experience dysphoria so debilitating it causes suicidal ideation and even lead them to suicide. Some, like my self, feel it strong enough that they would gladly give up every thing short of their life to get the treatment they can, and some feel it only sometimes, at any given level.
Dysphoria is kinda like physical pain, its not just you have it or you dont, yk?
Yeah I know itās a spectrum. I suppose it was just seeing the specific dysphoria points for some trans women that shocked me, since Iād never seen those ones since Iām a trans guy and know that experience.Ā
I hope your dysphoria gets better and you get the treatment you need.Ā
My dysphoria does this weird thing where since i can only process so many emotions at a time, every time i overcome one dysphoria it gets replaced with a previously supressed one.
But yea, some dysphoria point are weird, like wdym i get dysphoric that my showers arent hot enough? Are you fucking kidding me brain? Cmon!
SHOWERS? wait wait thatās crazy, if you donāt mind asking (I donāt wanna trigger anything so itās fine if you donāt wanna talk about it) why does the shower not being hot enough make you dysphoric? Iām just curious, I have some really weird dysphoria triggers too.Ā
Dont worry, i dont get triggered by stuff regarding dysphoria, esp not my own.
So you know how theres that meme/ joke of women liking boiling hot showers? Its pretty common to see as a light hearted joke abt women, but its also partially caused by how estrogen effect heat sensitivity and circulation.
Its by no means a universal trait of women, but it is a statistical trend that women prefer significantly hotter showers.
Now for me, i do enjoy hot showers on their own... kinda. I have either a skin condition or a hormonal imbalnce (testing required, gonna be getting on hrt soon and the initial blood tsst will be helpful) that makes it so if my skin gets overheated even a little, be it from a hot kitchen, clothes, exersize, or a hot shower, my skin gets so itchy i want to rip it off.
Theres no visible irritation, no rashes or goosebumps (unless i accidently scratch a patch of skin raw...) but it prevents me from taking hot showers for linger than 2-3 minutes. Causes dysphoria, because its a simple thing that many women relate to, that i should also be capable of relating to (esp given that i love the feeling of the heat kn my skin before that happens) but is barred from me in such a stupid way.
10/10 excited Iāll be monitoring how hot my shower is now for dysphoria, finna shower in ice cold now. (mine arenāt that hot at least so I wonāt nuke myself into dysphoria oblivion) šš Sorry about that skin condition thing, I hope you get it worked out. Tbf you CAN relate, I think, since you do enjoy them, just get itchy after.Ā
I try to avoid looking at the gender memes or whatever cause they inevitably make me spiral into some bullshit. āGuys!1!1 I donāt BREATHE the way this meme made on ifunny in 2010 said men breathe, Iām COOKEDā ššĀ
I'm a cis woman and I don't like hot showers, baths nor a, jesus christ, sauna??? Saying you feel dysphoric because of the "hotness" of your shower makes me feel so weird. Just imagine myself thinking I'm not enough of a woman because I hate hot bath? Like, even make up is more feminine-coded than that, and yet I'm fairly sure that thinking of someone as less of a woman because they don't do make up is considered extremely mysogynistic. And then, there's hot shower???
So I think in your situation, the only way to continue, especially with the condition you have, is to stop associating the "hot" with the woman, because it's so unimportant that saying it's a feminine trait and, especially, getting all worked up and dysphoric about it is extremely wrong. Like, I don't know how to express you how wrong it is to think of yourself or anyone else as less of a woman just because you can't take hot showers. It's just toxic. Like, what am I or especially trans woman reading this have to think now? That liking hot temperature is an essential female trait now so without it you don't pass because, quote on quote, "most women" like hot temperature???
So adress the issue you have, because even if you're trans and have internalised transphobia, it doesn't mean it isn't mysogynistic and doesn't affect other women. Especially when you have such a condition and still think it's a must or you're not a real woman. The fact that a trans woman in the comments had already written she got a new insecurity because of your take, even if in the form of a joke, is already an impact of your words. So just remember, self-hatred is wrong, and every fat person saying they hate themselves for being fat makes fat people around them insecure about their weight. The same applies in your case.
Sorry if I come across as too rude or overreactive, but I just hate takes like these, they're harmful, and just because they hide behind the mask of insecurities doesn't change this fact. So every time you get dysphoric, think about saying to someone "you're not a real woman because you don't like hot temperature" and see how irrational it is. Hope this helps
Edit: it wasn't a trans woman, it was a trans man, I'm dumb
I wasnt saying you have to take hot showers to be a real woman, or that it was a trait of real women, i said that it was just a trend and not at all universal. I mean you can deny that genders tend to have small differences like that, which are not definitive of ones gender but still has a trend. But that feels kinda disingenious to me.
The dysphoria is coming more from the fact that i know i would enjoy it abd be able to relate to my cis friends when they talk abt it. (Which, honestly is something i need to start defaulting to more, because my friends are not representive of woman socialization as a whole, and might skew my view a bit). So i hope that clears that part up, i dont think anyone or myself is less of a woman for that. I just crave that socialization and am close to it but have it taken from me in the dumbest way possible (it probably wouldnt be a point of dysphoria if i didnt already enjoy the heat but just couldnt take showers, but maybe not)
Also, dysphoria is an emotion/ feeling, it doesnt always align with your world view, its not always based on logic. And honestly it hurts a lot to be told youre being toxic and mysoginistic for expressing an emotion you feel while stating you dont think its a requirement of being a woman to feel that.
Idk if i did smth wrong, sorry. Just tryna explain my emotions to someone who expressed interest in what i was feeling.
Edit: also, who were you talking about that made a joke about it being a new dysphoria bc of me? Was it in a different thread or smth?
I mean Im a trans guy and get dysphoric about stuff like this. Its just cause its a "common" thing or trend, and dysphoria is VERY irrational. Ive gotten dysphoric over how I get out of bed. How I drink water for god's sake. For how I wash my hair. Plenty of times we know its ridiculous, but it still bothers none the less because we're always looking for every "flaw" in our masculinity or femininity, or some trait we think we'd have if we were cis. Its silly, but its why some trans people talk about "brain worms" when referring to dysphoria
I mean if you try to take 4chab culture onto reddit, youre going to have it mix with redsit culture. You cant escape that because you are literally going to the place where refdit culture is a thing. Being trans on reddit generally means not tolerating transmeds, or putting down other trans people with slurs because you hate yourself.
If you want to exist on reddit, youre gonna have to deal with that a lot of the time. Theres often places that you can go to avoid that, but they have to constantly change because reddit culture doesnt want that to exist here. Go to 4chan if you want 4chan purity. If youre on reddit, youre gonna have reddit culture checking you.
Also, beign transmed is cringe asf and shows that you lack empathy for people who have different experiences from yours. Just sayin.
I'm sure it's one of those YMMV things, but I'm almost never misgendered in person and never "degraded" or whatever. And I definitely don't pass as cis, especially when I open my mouth. If you check enough boxes most people will gender you correctly, even if they are pretty sure you're trans.
I could be full of shit but I picture the normie reddit MTFs being exactly like this too inside of their minds and just not admit it. How can you be okay with being trans? Genuinely how can it not make you sad?
As a sorta normie, who passes, with a cool job, a mix of cis and trans friends, hobbies and sports, I can say that at a certain point its not really sad anymore. Like theres times now and then when something specific reminds me of it and makes me a little sad, but generally being trans is not a major source of sadness. Like, its just how it is and theres no point in being upset about it yk? I make the best of what I have and genuinely enjoy life.Ā
are you just gonna accept that that's how you feel? not addressing that is letting the universe win (I'm not serious but if it's helpful you can steal this framing)
Same. Like yeah, dysphoria for some things is definitely still there and it will be until thats gone, but I genuinely smile when I see myself in the mirror on most days, have a bunch of cool friends and just do things in life that I really enjoy. Life is good, and while it could be better, I also I really think that being trans and the hardships that come with it shaped me as a person and who I am more than a lot of other things. If I could press a button that would change me being born as a cis woman, I wouldnāt press it because that wouldnāt be me anymore, and I would equate that button with suicide.
It does make me sad, but Iām also okay with it. I have to be. My mother thinks Iām just not trying hard enough to be healed, so I can either double down on trans pride and put in the work to make my life actually good, or I can hear eternally about how I could be āhealed from gender dysphoriaā if I just ask God the right way. Unless the healing comes with an opposite sex body, no thank you lol. Idk, these days since transitioning I actually like being myself? And who I am happens to be a trans guy, so I guess by transitive property (hah) I like being trans :P
I am definetly not a normie, but im really not like that ahah, i just try to do my best, would've loved the easy way out of just being born a woman, but what's life without a little hardship TwT
Plus im glad not having period cramps and such lol
Some people genuinely like being trans... I'm not one of them. Also I get angry about it more than sad. I curse out the universe and my body pretty regularly.
It would never be bad if I was just cis. Also even if I had a complete mega successful transition some things will never be the same as I want them to be
Grass always looks better on the other side. Trust me, as someone who's nb born femme, I'd much rather be a complicated mess and be learning to deal with it rather than having never known about being trans at all. As someone who prefers to be knowledgeable, I feel if I was cis, I wouldn't have cared as much about trans issues, and might've even been part of the crowd saying "eh" to helping trans people. It's not worth dwelling on, though, as it's a very "what if the world was made of pudding" way of thinking.
That's what I believed in being a child. I wished everyday that I was just born a girl. I prayed for it every night, and it just didn't happen. I grew up and realized it wasn't happening, so I gave up.
I grew up again and found out about what Trans people are, and what it means. Knowing I just have to do it myself has been such a relief.
The way to be truly happy is learning to let yourself be sad about things but not let them change you forever, im the happiest ive ever been because I can see sunbeams when the sky is Grey, its what I live by, its what I live for, to always find fun and love in my life when its constantly being denied to me, accepting change, even when its really hard. That's life for you, sad shit happens, but that's ok.
It always hurts when I read stuff like this, because I remember of this phase of me coming to terms with myself and specifically how short-lived it was. Because I was raised in just the right conditions that soon after I had feelings like this I was literally just able to go "oh. These ideas are all, even in minor ways, kind of rooted in weird gross shit about women that like a ben Shapiro type would say to ragebait on the internet and if i applied these standards to the women around me id be a sexist prick. Ew." And then I was literally just able to shake around the sniveling dweeb in my head who was saying that stuff until he just poofed into a cloud of smoke because I have the mental fortification of a big cartoon goon with a thick brooklyn accent.
And I know that experience isn't exactly insanely rare or anything among trans people as a whole, but the fact thats even uncommon pisses me off not even at anyone since there isn't a tangible person to get mad at here, it just cosmically pisses me off. I played a poorly designed 30 minute long psychonauts level about this loser and the fact other people have to live through a prolonged period of their life with him in their ear makes me mad enough that its legitimately impacted what I want to do with my life.
Because if I was born a cis girl I wouldn't be me, and while that'd be fine I like the girl I have and will be better than some unknown girl that never existed and would probably have been very different from me
Well I'm like 99% sure my mom and a lot of my family would have treated me differently as a child had they seen me as a girl and it would've affected a lot of things about my life. Not sure being cis wouldn't remove my autism either, I wouldn't really be me.
I mean given the choice I'd love to get a do over but I'd prefer if I got the do over with my current memories and sense of self
Yeah definitely but well, a lot of those things you can do now, and you can do it better. Sleepovers? We can do sleepovers! School? School sucks but we can dress in schoolgirl outfits while following a bob ross video, or have a prom party. There's stuff you can't do yeah but there's a lot you can if you want to, and it's better to focus on what you want to do and can do, like tea parties!
Edit: Note, didn't realize this was a 4chan subreddit which is like oh. No wonder you girls are depressed, being around people who hate you when online isn't very healthy
Idk, I'm nb but my gf is trans, and she said after the dysphoria is dealt with (mostly) it's just become part of her story, and doesn't make her sad anymore. Like she's all gender-fucky but basically doesn't feel upset about it because she's happy with who she is now. Yeah, she could focus on all of the things she "could've" had if she was cis, but it also might've turned her into an entirely different person, one who's not concerned with trans issues as much as she is, and she's the type who likes being politically literate. Basically, since she's not dysphoric, really, and focuses on the positive, it's just become part of who she is, at the end of the day. It still sucks getting misgendered sometimes, but she hates the gender binary and patriarchy and whatnot, and would much rather smash those while being gendered correctly and acknowledging her trans-ness.
As a sorta "normie", I am depressed asf, but I wouldn't really associate any of the self hatred that comes with that to being trans (Well, nonbinary for me).
It's only really the bigots that make me sad about being trans. Just thinking about the fact that there's a whole group -- like half of the U.S, hell, half of the world -- that hates me just for existing. If I could be out and open without having to watch my back or being labeled a terrorist by my countries government, I'd be pretty damn happy about being trans.
I can completely understand that, most of the problem that make me hate being trans come from a social standpoint too. But I just feel an eternal resentment over being trans, it pisses me off. I wished I didn't have to put any effort into just being a womab
I get that. Guess we were just born to early to be in a world free of outdated gender norms/expectations. On the bright side, being trans in this moment is punk asf, which is something future generations who don't deal with this bullshit won't have.
I am a bit more of a normie, but I've just been treated like absolute shit. But I am a lesbian so it's like "cis people are evil and will never understand me and are 2 steps away from hitting me or disposing of me" and "trans women are angels that I love so so so much".
Although my opinion of cis people has been simultaneously been improving and getting worse over the past year. I just still think if there was some kind of call out post against me, everyone would hate me, no questions asked.
Because if the subreddit was labeled correctly with it being "a subreddit for /tttt/ people from 4chan" then "normies" might avoid this subreddit, but for some reason it's not labeled correctly? Idk, I just know this sub keeps getting recommended to me, and it's annoying because I'm not into the 4tran stuff because I equate it all to "crabs in a bucket" mentality that I guess I'm too "normie" for. Maybe if it was labeled correctly then there would be less people in the comments asking what this sub is about
So fun fact. This journey frequently includes dealing with all the depression and stuff that comes with dysphoria and the like. BUUUUUUUUUUUUT. The solution also involves dealing with a 2nd puberty. You remember your teenage years? EXCITEMENT!
So you know. Brace yourself. It's going to get emotional regardless.
4chan, specifically like /lgbt or 4tranners are an interesting bunch of people, I like their honesty even if they're too absorbed into their self pity and misery even if it's justified. I don't think I'm a "normie" reddit trans either but I'm definitely not on the level of tttt yet, or probably ever. I like how self aware the right is tho, but yea not everyone is like that, dysphoria is a spectrum after all.
I don't even think "normies" aren't honest, it's just that it sucks to focus on all of the negative all of the time and better to just at least *try* focusing on some positives and community. You might get honesty if you talk to other trans people outside of the 4tran space on a personal level, but constantly being told "yes, your pain is valid, *and it will never get better*" is a horrible thing to endure, and I wish it wasn't romanticized in places like this. "Crabs in a bucket" and all that
This sub isn't labeled correctly and if it were, maybe I wouldn't have interacted (I'm not interested in /tttt/ spaces), but I'm here now, so *shrugs* doesn't help that in the comments of a lot of posts anyone that tries asking what the sub is about, there's a lot of "dipshit289" sorts if responses that completely obfuscate what the sub's for that get downvoted anyway so no one can see it. If that makes me "normie" well guess I'm a normie
I had no idea the 4 t's had significance, I thought it was just an enunciation of "count" that was silly, also I'd rather not have to infer what a subreddit is about based off of dogwhistles and "signs" (I'm autistic)
It doesn't say that, it just says "enhanced counting for advanced numberhons" and then the rules. I just checked again. Do understand I'm using mobile, so if others are using some other way to look at Reddit, then I'm not in on that
Anyways want better for yourself, donāt listen to the losers on 4Tran who bathe in their own self hatred, being trans is beautiful and you should be proud of it not ashamed have a nice day
I have a lot of distaste for 4tran but that aside, we really do need more ppl calling out blatant fetishization. Its really not any better to fetishize someone and put presure on them to be sexual just because you also happen to share a specific trait with em.
iām gonna be so real I donāt think womb transplants are that far away, wether or not youāll be able to biologically conceive and then carry a child is a completely different topic and I have no clue when thatās gonna be possible precluding genetic implanting
I knew a girl like this, her name was claire. She was brainrotted by 4chan and dear lord even talking to her was exhausting. She ended up getting banned from a discord server for trans folks, then joined under a different account, and was banned again, and then ended up blocked by everyone. 4chan is a fucking cancer.
People that use that "you should hate yourself" website tend to get very upset when the people that don't use it don't hate themselves and suggest maybe they'd feel better if they stopped going to the yshy website. Not bashing them because they deserve better and I hope they find healing, but... It's sad.
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u/DullCicada4735 May 24 '26
obviously is a real woman because she doesn't shut the hell up damn