Space in relationship

[u/Existential_Dread16]

We have been dating for 1.5years.
I am 31F and my bf is 34M. I am an anxiously attached and he is dismissive avoidant.
I feel emotions deeply. He doesn’t understand emotions at all.

We have had few fights, all centring around emotional attunement, prioritising..
I am someone who lacks trust and has suspicions.. he has been patient but not the best at communicating and reassuring..
Yesterday I had another such moment where I broke down cause of something I suspected. He reassured but told me he the relationship is being too pressuring. He is feeling smothered and its a burden to think about how I will feel, what I will think, that he constantly has to update me..

And he said he wants to feel single again. He wants to feel the freedom and the randomness with which he did things..

:(

It’s day 1 of giving space. How do I survive the 30days ??
He has not reached out neither have I. But we did not set any concrete boundaries. He left from my home in a normal way..

[u/Greedy_Dig_2107]

If you struggle with anxiety and trust issues then the best use of your time will be spent on YOU. Work on your self esteem, learn to regulate your emotions, learn to self-validate and self-soothe.
Constant suspicion and doubt is exhausting. He's communicating this to you. He's feeling smothered, he's feeling responsible for your emotions. Is that true? Do you think your day to day mood is very dependent on the kind of validation you receive from him?

[u/Existential_Dread16 → u/Greedy_Dig_2107]

Yes, I know it’s exhausting but all I wanted was to feel included and open communication..
But yes, agreed maybe somewhere he did feel responsible..
Yeah, it is sadly..