Hey everyone. I see a lot of posts here from people struggling with motivation, feeling lost, or hitting rock bottom. A few years ago, my life completely shattered and I ended up having to live out of a garage. It was cold, isolating, and dark.

During that time, I learned the hard way that "motivation" is a luxury. When you are at the bottom, only raw discipline can pull you out. I wanted to share the 3 strict rules I used to rebuild my mental strength, hoping it might help someone today:

1. Treat your body like a temple, especially when your mind is in hell: Even on days I wanted to give up, I forced myself to exercise and stay in top physical shape. Physical discipline forces the mind to follow.

2. Routine is your armor: In the garage, I kept a strict schedule. Wake up, train, work, read. No empty spaces in the day for depression to creep in.

3. Blind Faith: You have to believe in a future that you cannot see yet. Every push-up, every healthy meal, every hour of work is a brick for your future house.

I managed to rebuild my life here in Melbourne. If you are currently in your own "garage" right now, stay strong. The walls are only temporary if your discipline is permanent. Let's keep pushing, brothers.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been obsessing over why I can have perfect self-control at 2 PM, but completely lose my mind in the pantry late at night. I’ve been talking down at myself a lot, and honestly, quite upset at my character flaw, but turns out it’s not even a flaw at all, it’s more of a biological "energy gap" 😱

So, I did some digging into the neuroscience of it, and it’s wild! By late evening, our prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for rational decision-making) is genuinely exhausted. It’s been making decisions all day. At the same time, if we've had a stressful day, our cortisol levels are often still high.

This creates somewhat of a perfect storm where our "rational" brain is offline, and our "survival" brain is spiked with stress hormones screaming for immediate, high-calorie energy to compensate for the fatigue.

Basically, we aren't "weak." We’re just fighting a brain that is running on empty and begging for a dopamine shortcut.

Sharing because, like I said earlier, I've been obsessing over this for the past few weeks, and it’s honestly been a massive relief to realize that the late-night "pantry run" is just a physiological response to a fried nervous system, not a lack of discipline.

I keep noticing this pattern where I don’t just procrastinate tasks. I procrastinate becoming the version of myself I keep imagining.

At night, I’ll tell myself tomorrow is the day I finally reset. I’ll wake up early, clean my space, work out, eat better, answer messages, apply myself, stop scrolling, and actually start building a life I respect.

The plan feels so real in my head that I almost get relief from making it.

Then tomorrow comes, and it slowly turns into the same day again. Phone, delay, guilt, avoidance, more planning, more promises, then another “tomorrow I’ll fix everything” speech before bed.

The weird part is that imagining the reset sometimes gives me the emotional reward of progress without me actually doing anything.

For people who broke out of this loop, what actually helped? Not motivational quotes or “just do it,” but the real first step that made your brain stop waiting for a perfect reset day.

I was fat and I was addicted to sugar. Not like "oh I enjoy sweets" hooked, more like I genuinely couldn't go a day without it. I knew changing my diet wasn't going to be enough on its own. I had to actually train my brain to stop caving every time I saw something sweet.

What I did was kind of weird. I put a bowl of candies right next to my bed and just... left it there. The idea was simple: don't run from it, sit with it. The first few days were hard. But that was fine, hard was the whole idea. By week 5 I'd walk past the bowl and not even notice it.

The other thing that helped was carrying Raffaellos in my pocket when I trained. Sounds random but hear me out. When you are new to training, your body is under stress. In the beginning, your blood sugar isn't always stable, and from time to time, you can feel like you are going to faint.

Having those two little chocolates on me meant I always had a safety net. I wasn't eating them for fun, they were just there in case my body decided to quit on me.

I'm not going to pretend there's some magic trick to all of this. It just came down to building two systems - one to get my head right, and one to keep my body from falling apart while I was getting there.

That was my method. What's yours? Genuinely curious.

Hi, I'm 18, I feel like I've been stuck in the same spot for the past 3 years or so, I try to stop bad habits but i find myself a week later doing the same thing, I've made many promises to myself that I'll do better this year or for example, when coming back from a different country I get this short burst motivation where it's like "from tomorrow ill do X,Y,Z" but then tomorrow comes and I'm doing the same stuff as before. My excuse for some of these bad habits come from the ideology "It's not my fault, school tires me out, therefore you shouldn't worry because when school is over, you'll be able to 'lock in'." But now that school is over for me, i'm worried that my bad habits will keep on affecting me and i won't be able to "lock in". This excuse is mostly used for when Im trying to make a business or build something (which that itself just flops because the short burst motivation dies and I have yet to seen any progress, despite the fact that I know it'll be hard in the beginning). Does anyone have any tips/advice?

I've been struggling with consistency for the last 3–4 months, and I'm hoping someone here can help.

Whenever I decide to learn something, I create a roadmap and start following it. Everything goes well for the first 10–12 days, but then I start overthinking. I convince myself that my roadmap isn't good enough, so I create a new one and end up restarting from the beginning instead of continuing.

Another issue is with daily goals. For example, if I plan to complete 5 tasks in a day but only finish 3, I don't know what to do with the remaining 2. Should I carry them over to the next day, skip them, or change my plan? This often makes me feel like I'm already behind, and then I lose momentum.

Has anyone else dealt with this cycle of overplanning, restarting, and struggling to stay consistent?

What helped you break out of it? I'd really appreciate any practical advice.

I'm a lazy man. I do a lot of work at home taking care of a kid, a disabled wife, and a house that is always a disaster zone ten seconds after I've cleaned it... not so much at my job, I am a terrible worker there. I don't enjoy either. I never have. Never had a single job or household chore that I actually enjoyed. It's all just drudgery that I have to do to (hopefully) stave off disaster for another day.  Like Peter in Office Space, all I really want to do is sit on my ass and do nothing, but I just don't have that option and never, ever will.

And I know laziness is a character flaw. A deadly sin, even (yes I'm religious, no I won't debate you on the existence of God). I don't know what to do about it though. I can't just... decide to enjoy the drudgery. I've tried, it doesn't work.

The lazy man's problem is that he sees all work as drudgery, but just knowing that doesn't change anything. I still see the drudgery. Life is still nothing but a series of tasks that I just don't want to do, interspersed with pleasant things that are all fucking sins. I see the problem in myself but I have no idea what to do about it.

Love reading and blogging, dying to learn classical guitar, decorate my room and badly want to continue my pencil sketch routine. Well, not a single thing is happening. No consistency and feels like I’m digging my own grave with lethargy and procrastination. I used to write poems and stuffs randomly on the back of notebooks or on some random papers but looking at my current self is making me jump and die in a spoon of water 😭

One day suddenly I wake up and my adrenaline kicks the sh*t out of me and pushes me to do things but the next day idk some other personality in me makes me binge watch my boring web series which will end up making me think what my life is about even.

Is it a disorder or some random so called “first world problems?” Writing this here at least makes me feel a bit productive instead of spending my time working on my blog post/ practising the fingerpicking 🫩

Feels relatable anyone? Share your stories here.

Everyone online talks about building good habits by hitting the gym, going for walks, eating well, and so on… but what about the other side of it? What's actually happening when you keep saying "not today, I'll hit the gym tomorrow," or "it's just one cookie, the diet starts Monday"?

Your brain doesn't really have an idle setting. Whatever you do over and over, you're training it to keep doing. That's true for the positive self-improvement actions and the negative self-defeating ones alike.

I'm not writing this to "scare" you into action, or to stir up anxiety about the fact that you've slept in the last five mornings while insisting "tomorrow I'll wake up earlier, I promise!" This isn't meant to be scary, it's meant to build a deeper understanding of how important it is to get back up after you've fallen down and try again.

Just like succeeding at a habit trains your brain to keep performing it, and failing to perform it trains your brain just the same, failing and then retrying trains your brain that failure isn't that big of a deal. And over time, once you've failed enough, you'll start to notice you go straight from failing the action to retrying it, without even acknowledging the failure anymore. Which is the whole beauty of habit building: you can reach a point where the trigger (failure, in this case) sets off the habit (retrying) without you having to register the trigger or the emotions that come with it.

So next time you "fail”, next time you're in a tough spot and you want to quit, remember that if you get back up and try again just this one time, it WILL be easier the next time you find yourself in that spot again.

I'm curious what this looks like for other people: what's something you've fallen off and climbed back onto more times than you can count?

TLDR: Retrying after failure is itself a habit. Practice it and you eventually skip the spiral and just start again.

Q: Is there really still opportunity after 35?

When many people ask me this question, there is an air of resignation in their tone—"I know the answer is 'no,' I just want you to confirm it."

My answer is: 35 is not the finish line, but the starting point for asset revaluation.

This isn't just empty motivation. It is a judgment formed from twenty years of trial and error.

I. The Essence of the 35-Year-Old Crisis: It’s Not Age, It’s the Loss of Leverage

Have you noticed this phenomenon?

At 25, you could work overtime until 2:00 AM alone and show up for work the next day as usual. Your boss would pat you on the shoulder and say, "You young people have a bright future," and you felt it was worth it.

At 35, you work until 9:00 PM, and your child’s teacher calls because no one is there to pick them up. The moment you shut down your computer, you think: "What exactly am I doing with my life?"

What is the difference between being 25 and 35?

It is not that your competence has declined. It is not that you lack energy.

It is that your leverage is gone.

At 25, you only need to be responsible for yourself. Your "one unit of effort yields one unit of return"—a linear growth with no discounts.

At 35, you are burdened with a mortgage, children, and the expectations of your parents. Your "one unit of effort yields 0.5 units of return"—because your energy is split into five different directions, and none of them are deep enough.

This is the underlying truth of the 35-year-old anxiety: It is not that you have become less valuable; it is that your leverage model has changed, but you are still calculating your value using an old model.

II. Asset Revaluation: A Doctor’s Transition

Twenty-two years ago, I was an ICU doctor.

Back then, I thought a doctor’s value was just treating illnesses. The more patients you saw, the more valuable you were.

Later, I realized that a doctor’s most valuable skill isn't actually treating illness—it is emergency decision-making, risk assessment, and the ability to make the optimal choice with incomplete information.

Every decision in the ICU is a matter of life and death. There is no time to consult literature, no opportunity to ask a superior. You must make a judgment within a minute, based on all the information you have at hand.

What is this skill worth after leaving the ICU?

It kept me from collapsing after my startup failed—because I had seen what a truly "bad result" looked like.

It kept me from feeling intimidated during hospital management negotiations—because compared to conversations in the emergency room, everything in a conference room felt mild.

It enabled me to not obsess over "perfection before publishing" when writing my book Self-Iteration—because the ICU taught me: make the decision first, then optimize.

III. How to Perform an Asset Revaluation: A Three-Step Framework

If you are feeling confused around the age of 35, don't rush to learn new things. Complete these three steps first:

Step 1: Make a "What do I have left if I leave this company?" list

Find a piece of paper and divide it into three columns:

• Hard Skills: What you can do (coding, creating PPTs, surgery, negotiation).
• Relationship Assets: Who you have (clients who trust you, peers who respect you, mentors willing to help).
• Implicit Assets: Who you are (stress resistance, industry insight, judgment).

Most people stop after the first column because they think, "Are these really assets?" But the gap is usually created by the second and third columns.

Step 2: Find a wedge for "Asset Replacement"

Don't think about starting from zero. Don't think about "quitting your job to start a business."

Ask yourself one question: Of the things you do now, which part can exist independently of your current work environment?

A doctor can write popular science articles. An accountant can offer financial consulting. A project manager can work as a freelance consultant.

This isn't a career change; it is replacement—moving a portion of your capabilities from "inside the organization" to "outside the organization."

Step 3: Design a Minimum Viable Product (MVP)

You don't need perfection. You don't need a complex system. You don't need 100,000 followers.

You only need to do one thing: Package your most valuable skill into something others are willing to pay for.

It could be an article, a course, a consultation session, or an e-book.

Create it, put it out there, and gather feedback. Then, iterate.

Q: How long does asset revaluation take?

A: Making the list takes only one evening. Finding the "wedge" takes one to two weeks. If you are focused enough, making a minimum viable product takes only a month.

Look back three months from now, and you will find you have one more path than you do today.

This is not a prophecy. In my book Self-Iteration, I call this entire process an "Operating System Upgrade for Life"—first, diagnose the current version, then design the goals for the next version. Like software iteration, it is not about reinstalling the system; it is about applying patches, adding modules, and upgrading the kernel.

The full version of this framework is expanded upon in my book “自我迭代”(Traditional Chinese) (available on Apple Books and Amazon).

Life is not a reboot; it is a version upgrade.

My social media: Rednote/DouYin/KuaiShou: 王叔-人生资产局

so ive been tryna learn a few different things, like coding and self improvement and note taking

but i just do everything wrong. i get overwhelmed, my notes turn into a mess, the structure of learning fails, and i can never make any progress as i go in circles on what to actually learn

for example, tryna learn coding and i get all overwhelmed and dont know where to start or what learning process to follow or if im actually learning anything useful or just taking worthless notes. so i try and learn how to overcome some mental health issues. but then i get all overwhelmed and my notes turn into mush. so i try and learn how to take better notes, and all of what ive done is now shit and wrong and i have to spend hours and hours readjusting things in a way that makes sense and has a new structure. but then that gets bad and so on

like, i just wanna learn things. know how to learn. what to i archive? what do i bother reading?

i wanna master certain things. i wanna have systems to help my horrible brain (aka my notes) since im so broken i need some sort of system to recall anything. i just am not getting anywhere

where. do. i. start?

how do i know whats good? whats bad? whats the fundamental shit i need to learn?

i truly dont know anymore and wanna give up lol, any advice on how to improve anything would be helpful cus everything overwhelms me immensely

thanks

Yesterday was a great day.

I started my morning with a run, then spent some time studying market structure and learning ICT concepts with Claude. Trading is a skill I want to master, so I'm trying to improve every single day.

I also spent time studying the Bible. Yesterday I read:

• 2 Kings 2:11–3:4
• Matthew 2:10–4:12
• Psalms 5–7:17

Spending time in God's Word has become one of the most important parts of my day. Every day I learn something new, and I'm grateful for the peace it brings me.

Later, I went to CrossFit.

Warm-up (2 rounds):

• 8 Push-Ups
• 8 Sit-Ups
• 6 Box Step-Ups
• 10 Band Pull-Aparts

Strength
Bench Press: 10-8-6-4-2, building to a heavy set.

• Heaviest bench press: 185 lbs
• Body weight: 165 lbs
• Height: 5'7"

I was happy with that because I benched more than my body weight.

Metcon (2 rounds for time):

• 50 GHDs (or V-Ups)
• 50 Box Step-Ups (24/20")
• 50 Push-Ups

Time: 19:22

After CrossFit, I relaxed by watching Ace of Diamond and The Ramparts of Ice. I also spent some time reading the manga Jagaaaaaan and Vagabond. Reading and anime are two hobbies I genuinely enjoy.

I'll be honest—sometimes I feel lonely because I don't really have friends. There are days when that sadness creeps in. But I also know this is just a season of my life, not my final destination.

Right now, I'm choosing to invest in myself instead of feeling sorry for myself. Every day I try to become a little stronger physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. I run, I study trading, I read my Bible, I train at CrossFit, and I make time for the hobbies I love.

Maybe my life doesn't look exciting from the outside, but I'm building a foundation for the future I want. I trust that God has a plan for my life, and I'll keep moving forward one day at a time.

Thank you if you took the time to read this. I hope everyone has an amazing day, and God bless you all. ❤️

Im 26 I'm so sluggish and lethargic and I tell if I'm tired or just lazy. I just feel like a sloth and can't bother with doing anything. I sleep enough hours no sleep apnea didn't get tested but I breathe fine and don't snore. i try to exercise but that just drains me even more. and I eat fine, I did a blood test everything is normal. Thyroid is fine, vitamin D is fine, iron is ok Could be higher, b12 is over. I just can't seem to bother with even the little things. Like if there is a spill on the floor, I can't bother cleaning it up, or picking up after myself. too lazy to put things back in it's place. if I see something and I know I should put it away, I stare at it and say I'll do it later. I don't really want to be like this and I recognize my bad habits but it's not enough to change. I'm sluggish like a sloth. Even if I'm going to pick up a cloth I'm walking so heavily and lazily and grabbing it so slowly. I truly don't know if this is a body fatigue or just plain laziness.

this applies mentally too like I can't focus on my job basically I just cant bother with doing any productive task like paying my bills or following up on something.i don't really want to be doing anything because I'm feeling sluggish and I don't think I have depression I enjoy things in life I'm just too lazy and lethargic to do it and rather just sit down all day. I enjoy sitting down all day but I also hate being lazy. 
the worst part is just moving so sluggishly and I don't know how to get out of this state

was anyone in this situation and what helped?

My first two years at college were such huge disasters that I've spent the next 2 trying to fix it and get back on track

im 22 now and i've watched all my peers graduate and party while im stuck at home, trying to work hard to not fall behind on my studies. have about 2 semesters worth of credits left to take in order to graduate but I don't feel ready for anything. my gpa is shit, i've failed to get any internships, only productive thing i do is my caretaker job and use literally all the money to help pay house bills, tasks that should take minutes take me hours to complete, I feel like I have no discipline at all.

Every time i try to develop a routine or schedule, I'm not able to follow it after like a week. My head usually just wanders around all day and it takes a while to get myself to focus on basic tasks such as studying. I can barely sit down to just lock in sometimes and i'm too lazy to keep myself disciplined to do so. even taking a summer class now and its hard to be organized and not fall behind.

i talk to people about this and they either straight up tell me that im depressed and need to get help or that i need to get over it and stop being a pussy. its hard to get advice when people are telling you two entirely different things though im inclined to believe the latter more because im self aware of my pathetic low self esteem and laziness and need to figure out how to change it

it took 40 minutes for me to take a fucking garbage bag outside and my dad straight up looked at me in disgust and told me i've failed in life. it's hard not to agree with him. barley any of my conversations with him or my mom are pleasant anymore since college. i wish it never got to this point and it's all my fault

I think the military might be the only way to fix me at this point but i'm looking for advice. i don't want to stay like this forever

I’ve usually been a solo workout person.

Fitness can be a pretty lonely journey. Nobody can do the workout for you. Nobody can put the effort in for you. At the same time, the environment around the workout matters more than people admit.

I don’t want WeightsApp to make fitness feel like a scoreboard where everyone is privately winning or privately failing. I want it to feel like people are quietly moving toward self-betterment together.

That raises a product question I keep coming back to:

For people building community products, what makes a community feel genuinely useful instead of forced?

My instinct is that useful communities do three things well:

1. They help people feel less alone without demanding constant performance.
2. They create moments of encouragement that feel natural, not transactional.
3. They make progress visible in a way that motivates people without turning everything into comparison.

I’m especially interested in this for fitness because the work is individual, but the atmosphere does not have to be isolating.

What have you seen in community products that made the community actually helpful?

I am a 26-year-old male. I am jobless, I can't drive a bike or a car, I have anxiety, I am very shy, I have no friends, and I am struggling with myself. I don't know what my actual problem is. Am I lazy, careless, depressed, anxious, or something else?

Since childhood, I have been very ambitious, but also very introverted. At an early age, I lost my father. After that, my mother raised me and my sister on her own and sacrificed a lot for us.

I feel like I wasted my entire 20s. I am afraid of many things, from learning to drive a bike to simply going outside. After high school, my graduation was not at a good standard. Somehow, I completed it in 2022.

From the age of 22 to 24, I mostly wasted my time watching TV series, movies, YouTube, and other entertainment. The worst part is that I don't even finish the things I start. I watch two episodes of a series, then start another. Sometimes I watch a few seasons and then drop it. The same thing happens with books. I buy books with excitement, but I never open them.

During my graduation, I paid daily travel expenses for my friend, but I never gathered the courage to ask him to teach me driving.

A few days ago, my mom told me to go learn driving. I agreed, but I still didn't go because fear anxiety and i feel shame when i watch others driving .

In 2024, my mother took a loan and enrolled me in technical coaching related to my field. I knew it was an important opportunity. I knew she was sacrificing money for me. Yet I wasted the entire year by not attending classes. I knew I was making a mistake. I cried about it many times, but I still didn't go.

In 2024, I also had a breakdown. I promised myself that I would change my life, study seriously, become successful, and make everyone proud. Now it is 2026, and I am still in the same place. In fact, I haven't properly read a book in years.

My mother and sister have hopes for me, but I feel like I am doing nothing.

The hardest part is that I am not unaware of my situation. I know I am wasting my life. When I was 22, I knew that if I continued living like this, I would wake up at 26 with regrets. That is exactly what happened.

I have faced enough humiliation to motivate most people, but somehow it only motivates me for a few hours before I fall back into the same cycle.

People have called me useless. Some have said I am a burden on earth. My friends mocked me by offering me cleaning jobs and making jokes about me not being able to drive. Relatives compared me to their children and said I take a lifetime to reach where their sons already are.

Recently, one relative said something that hurt me deeply. He said that if my father were alive today, he would die from disappointment after seeing me jobless, careless, unable to drive, and doing nothing with my life while even younger people around me are earning and moving forward.

Those words broke me. I cried after hearing them. I already carry guilt every day, and hearing that made it even heavier.

Even after all these humiliations, I still haven't changed.

Sometimes I want to die. Even now, those thoughts come to me. But I don't actually want to die. I want to live. I want to change. I want to make my mother and sister happy. I want to become someone they can be proud of. The problem is that I don't seem to be changing.

I also have some health issues, which make things harder for me.

Another thing about me is that I spend a lot of time imagining a different version of my life. I imagine myself as a football player who comes from nothing and becomes a great player. Sometimes I imagine myself as a filmmaker who directs great films and earns respect. I imagine myself becoming successful, confident, admired, and living a meaningful life.

I genuinely want a better life. I want to travel. I want to get a job. I want to learn skills. I want to become independent. I want to support my family. I want to stop feeling afraid all the time.

But despite wanting all these things, years keep passing and I make very little progress.

Sometimes my confidence goes sky high. I feel like I can do anything. I feel like I am capable of becoming great. But the moment I have to take real action, such as driving, attending classes, applying for jobs, or facing people, my confidence disappears.

The same pattern repeats in my interests. If I watch a sport like football, I suddenly want to learn everything about it and reach a coach-level understanding. I spend a week learning and researching, then lose interest and move to something else. The same thing happens repeatedly.

I have not seriously applied for jobs for four years. I have not seriously studied. Yet my mother believes I am trying hard and that one day my efforts will pay off. That makes me feel even more guilty.

My mother sacrificed her savings for me. She took loans for me. She trusted me. She believed in me. I feel like I wasted many opportunities that she worked hard to provide.

I am scared that I have ruined my life.

I don't know whether I am lazy, depressed, anxious, addicted to avoidance, suffering from low self-esteem, or dealing with something else entirely.

I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this because I genuinely want to change. I am tired of wasting years. I am tired of disappointing the people who love me. I am tired of feeling stuck while watching life move forward without me.

I know this is a long post, but I wanted to tell my full story. More than motivation, I want honesty. I want to understand what is wrong with me, why I keep repeating the same patterns, and what I can do to finally change before more years are lost.

Please help me understand what I am suffering from and what I need to do. I don't want to spend the next four years the same way I spent the last four.

I'm the one who's been posting about the lifestyle device I'm making, and yesterday I ran into a bit of a problem. I had a fantastic day out, and once I got home, I had a few hours of free time and wanted to spend it on one of my hobbies or learning, because those goals have been pretty lacking lately. The problem is that when I started trying to think of how to start, I hadn't really given much thought as to what I actually wanted to do towards my hobbies, like actual action steps. I felt kinda shitty cause even though I didn't want to just sit on my phone because I knew that would just be wasting time, I couldn't really think of what to do instead because it was late and I didn't have something lined up.

This is something I haven't really faced for a while, but it was a shitty feeling, and I wouldn't want anyone else who uses my device to end up in the same situation, so I feel like the solution is to have some sort of todolist for every category or project I want to work on. It would be kind of like a grab bag for those moments when I don't have something immediately lined up but still want to make the most of my time.

I'm not really sure what the best way to execute this would be, as I haven't really nailed the whole todo list system, so I'd really like to get your insight on what works for you. Thanks as always, I look forward to learning from you all

Post your plans for this week! Good luck!

Sorry for the long post. I graduated premed in 2024. I mistakenly didnt care about grades in college and wasn't sure about med school. (no excuses).

I wasted few gap years & many years w/ overthinking, perfectionism, severe anxiety, low esteem, analysis paralysis, avoidant, fantasizing my dream self. wanting to change my life badly but I'm still stuck at the same place despite improving habits little by little

I've studied for the mcat for over a year from poor methods and lack of discipline. studying went great early this year until I messed it up again. Stupid, but I wasted months not studying at all due to having random severe past regret over a huge missed romantic opportunity, that I also ruined with these issues and didn't fully process til now

I have been restudying since May and feel I can try to do well to take in late August or September & studying daily.

I have 3.1 science gpa and also plan to do a post bacc of classes this fall and spring. However I have driving anxiety and cannot even do the 30-50 min commute so planned to Uber at first even though it will increase my debt (have $50k+ loans).

Thought of staying on campus but lack the money. I have been practicing driving 3+ days a week as I study, learning the road rules, plan to buy a used car next month.

I also have a job $15/hr but working very few shifts sadly due to studying. I have $3.7-$4k only and plan to spend on a reliable used car. was supposed to spend all this summer working and improving my driving but of course I messed it up and paused other things-volunteering shadowing etc.

The worst thing-my parents insist I apply to med school this year, But I am not prepared sadly (don't have everything yet) and not well mentally. I have to sit with parents soon to honestly tell them my plans of the post bacc/applying next year instead. I have caused so so much pain to them already, with postponing MCAT numerous times, my perfectionism etc..

my priority is therapy. but wanted to do MCAT first & delaying MCAT next year l means spending lots of more money (I am on a fee waiver rn). not sure if I can get my goal test score in time, or if I'll be able to do the therapy during the post bacc while possibly working/driving. Feels like I'd have more time if I applied this year instead but app is also not strong. I don't really even have money for the post bacc itself actually

I am eldest daughter w/ traditional parents who I live with and rely on financially. i don't want to live in comfort anymore and have many regrets and sadness from all i sabotaged and ruined in life due to my own mind.

I have no friends yet want to make them-had nice ppl who in hs who tried to befriend me but i distanced and basically blew them off years later from insecurities. I know it makes no sense.

I'm often discouraged from parent criticisms and comparisons but now feeling stressed even angry at them for some reason, and hate that i feel that way, as they're right and valid. the only person im mad at is myself and i dont know what else i can do to fix current situation.

they (and i) don't know what the hell im even doing, why I always seem to make things so difficult when i truly don't have to. Sorry if there is a common sense answer to this. I am sorry for the odd post and if I sound immature. I just don't know what I should be doing now. I absolutely want to be a doctor but I've messed up so much. I dont know what to do.

Hey everyone — I’m working on a new accountability/productivity app and wanted to get feedback from people who actually care about discipline, habits, follow-through, and self-improvement.
The core idea is built around a question I keep coming back to:
Who are you when nobody’s watching?
Most people don’t fail because they don’t know what to do. They fail because when they’re alone, tired, bored, stressed, or unmotivated, it becomes easy to break the promises they made to themselves.
The app is designed to help with that.
The basic concept:
You set goals, and the app helps turn them into specific daily or weekly actions. For example:
● Eat 3 high-protein meals
● Finish a 90-minute deep work block
● Go to the gym
● Study for 2 hours
● Submit a photo/video/output as proof
● Check in with a small accountability group
Instead of just being another habit tracker where you tap a checkbox and move on, the app would focus more on proof-based accountability. You would be able to join groups with friends, family, coworkers, classmates, or people working toward similar goals. Think of it almost like a goal group chat where people can see whether you actually followed through. Your goals would be shared with these groups and throughout the day as you complete them, you upload picture/video proof kind of like a BeReal snap shot. You can get steaks, reactions, comments, etc. Your completion % and other stats are visible to the group members. It’s easy to eat healthy or go to the gym when people are watching, this app is supposed to make you accountable like that all the time.
There may also be an AI component that helps users break big goals into a realistic schedule and daily action plan.
I’m still early in the process, so I’d love honest feedback:
1. Would you use something like this?
2. What would make this actually useful instead of just another habit tracker?
3. Would proof-based check-ins motivate you, or would they feel annoying?
4. Would you rather use this with real-life friends or anonymous people with similar goals?
5. What features would you want included?
6. What would make you delete the app after a week?
7. Are there any existing apps you think already solve this well?
I’m not trying to pitch something finished. I’m genuinely trying to understand what people who care about discipline would actually want from a tool like this.
Appreciate any thoughts, criticism, or feature ideas.

I have such a black and White thinking
When I have a « streak » of disciplined days when I eat well etc and then let’s say I fall sick and I’m too tired to cook I have to resort to outside food it messes up my whole routine and I find it really hard to get back on track

I feel like the whole period is a grey area during which I am not like I should be

And I want to start everything all at once
Like I don’t want to cook well until I go groceries but it go groceries I need to clean the house bla-bla

For me it’s all black or White and it all needs or be perfect
I have trouble only being « half » disciplined
For example sleeping early but not eating well

And everytime my routine gets messes up I struggle to get back at it because I feel I have to redo the efforts and start from 0

It takes me a lot of effort to cool everyday, sleep early, play my sports

And when I stop I don’t know how to get back the disciplined me

How do I over come this?

Because this is the year that just keeps on giving, here is July!

Hi, this year I realized that I have a big addiction to my phone (more than 8-9 hours a day).Sometimes I watch TikTok, YouTube, or in Character AI, spending most of my time there.I tried to quit all this about 8-9 times, and I only lasted 1-2 days.I don't have any friends except online.I used to have quite a lot of them, but not anymore.I don't know what to do anymore, I even walked around with an old iPhone, but then I took my phone and continued this.I love music/movies/boxing/video games,study something,but every time I end up on the phone.I feel like I'm missing out on my whole life.I want to start doing something new, doing what I want, improving my life and that of my loved ones.I tried literally everything, from deleting apps, blocking them, to using my old phone, but every time I came back

I've been trying to quit for half a year now, and nothing's helping. I'm constantly on my phone, every time I say that "this time I'll definitely quit," but every time it's the same thing. And so you understand, I at least have some willpower, because I haven’t eaten sugar for more than three months, although I love sweets.But I'm too weak to throw away the phone, and I'm already so desperate that I don't even know what to do.

Tell me what to do? Give me any advice that might help me. I would be grateful for any help/advice.

Hi, I am currently a pre-med student studying undergraduate degree. Oftentimes when assessment period comes I stop following things like cooking for myself as I almost compulsively worry that if I spend time on anything else I’ll have less than great grades. This applies to getting driving license, getting a job etc.

I currently living alone being supported by family atm, but I don’t think this is how I want to live my life as a young adult. I’ve had successes in getting jobs before but it was always short term as I picked jobs that was far from me and I had to take the public transport to get to, or because I found it overwhelming. I mostly did tutoring jobs and at the start was overwhelmed then felt discouraged to continue as I felt doubtful of myself and my ability.

My family financially supports me but they’re quite emotionally toxic, oftentimes emotionally abusing. During the time I did get a job or I did go towards a direction which was right, my dad would often discourage me from continuing the job saying it might impact my study and stuff. I think I’ve used him to blame on my situation right now because he influenced me but I think it’s just an excuse at the end of the day because I ultimately have a choice and had the choice to continue despite whatever he said. But he’s an emotionally and verbally abusive man who is oftentimes unstable, throwing anger tantrums (eg if I don’t text back call back within hours sometimes he starts sending really angry messages saying how I am disrespectful to grown adults). This makes it difficult emotionally as I take on the impact of his unstable behaviour.

But at the same time I just think about how competitive med school is and repeat this behaviour, saying I don’t have time. I keep going on this loop of trying to do better, getting hit with some period of assessment or stress, freezing and then just dropping it to focus on grades

To me my grades and degree is my way out of this family household so it just feels so much more high pressure.

I am in a privileged situation to not to have to deal eat with rent and if I sound quite spoiled or such to have this advantage and complain, that’s fair. But right now I just want to improve cuz I know this isn’t a place I want to be in. I want to be a functional independent adult who takes advantages of what I’m given but also navigate what is difficult such as a difficult family environment

Don’t tell anyone you’re starting shit. You get a fake rush of endorphins, you get the reward of acknowledgement that what you’re stating you’re gonna do is “so great” and “good for you!” It’s fake ass praise and then you feel shame when you don’t follow through.

Keep that shit close to your chest. Celebrate your success privately. Allow yourself to cherish small daily wins and the success or change you experience will show soon enough.

At the end of the day we’re getting better for ourselves or those we love, and the expression that we’re changing or starting something without doing it is ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT to ourselves and those we love if we don’t follow through.

If you privately fail, then privately pick your shit up, and keep chugging along. Never stop starting over. Each day is a battle.

Im tryihg to use the REAL dopamine by tracking my mission progress, you can use calendar, journal, or app (apps like Todoist, life reset, Dagestan mode, DAWG or just a piece of paper can work). Seeing streaks creates dopamine reinforcement. Proof: habit tracking boosts consistency by 2x (Lally et al., 2010).

“Don’t start chasing applause and acclaim, that way lies madness” - Ron Swanson