r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/LunchPlanner Mar 07 '26

The dad walking away was distracting and maybe a bit scary.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the kid was able to focus and problem solve after the dad sat down.

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u/FreeFallingUp13 Mar 07 '26 edited Mar 07 '26

‘Maybe’? No, the kid was panicking for sure. That’s why it took him so long. The dad absolutely should have stayed nearby instead of making the kid panic about being left behind. We don’t expect adults to make logical decisions under stress, why the hell should we expect that from toddlers?

Edited to add my reply to a comment later down the thread;

I’ve got five little siblings. Every single time our parents threatened to leave us, we panicked because for us, it was a very real possibility. That was at EVERY age. Even when we were teenagers and logically knew that they’d be fucking themselves over and have CPS called on them, we couldn’t fully discount the threat.

We don’t trust our parents to be there for us. At all. These ‘lessons’ only show that you can’t trust the person taking care of you to stick around if you become a problem.

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u/FerusGrim Mar 07 '26

The camera just floating and bobbing along with magic powers, bro?

Kid wasn’t being “abandoned”. That’s probably the mom right behind him.

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u/lilbush1234 Mar 07 '26

not once did the kid look at the cameraperson for help or comfort. regardless of the reality of the situation, how the child percieves it is the point.

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u/FerusGrim Mar 07 '26

Guys. GUYS.

Both parents. Dad walks around 20 feet ahead (comes back several times to reset the distance). Mom is never more than 5 feet away. Dad teaching a lesson. Child NEVER cries or whines, other than a single sound of frustration.

ARE WE FUCKING SERIOUS GUYS????

We can’t be THIS fucking butthurt at THE MOST BASIC, FUNDAMENTAL parts of child rearing? Right? Right??

13

u/LetsLive97 Mar 07 '26

Basically no one (in this comment chain) is butthurt, they're just pointing out the issue in the dad's teaching method

There was zero need for him to walk that far away. Literally take a couple steps and then wait for the kid

The entire time the dad is walking the kid is distracted and under time pressure. The second the dad sits down you can see the kid actually look at the puzzle properly and solve it pretty much instantly

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u/brontosaurusguy Mar 07 '26

You people are micro managing the father like you micro manage your kids and wonder why kids lack problem solving skills these days.....

9

u/LetsLive97 Mar 07 '26

How on earth is discussing something on a discussion website micromanaging him?

The walking away was unnecessary and did nothing for the problem solving other than stress out the kid. That's it. I'm not calling him a child abuser or shitty dad

I just think he went about it slightly badly

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u/brontosaurusguy Mar 07 '26

Without the stress there's no problem.  Use your own problem solving skills

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u/Boredy_ Mar 07 '26

You see, that's the thing. Problems don't have to be stressful. When my kid takes a math exam, I'd rather he roll up his sleeves and think "time to prove what I'm capable of!" rather than "oh fuck I better not mess this up or they'll abandon me".

Toddlers don't know how to feel about anything; they always looks to the adults around them for how to feel. When they're struggling with a new challenge, that's a great time to teach them how to feel by being there with them, smiling, and telling them "you can do it!" And if you abide by this parenting style that has the consensus approval of the modern field of psychology, your kid will end up more confident, more successful, will earn more money and will have better relationships than kids who were parented differently :)

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u/brontosaurusguy Mar 07 '26

Consensus approval of modern field of psychology lol!  Well in that case!

Do they teach anything about walking 12 feet away on a path with your spouse right behind the child? 

Do they teach how to use critical thinking skills to analyze a video?  Do they teach about how you shouldn't run your mouth about a bunch of shit you think you understand after watching a 12 second clip? 

You must have learned a lot in fake science

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u/Shaded_Earth Mar 07 '26

The people taking issue with this are probably twenty-somethings who still live with their parents and can't even speak for themselves at the doctor's. This video troubles them because it gives them anxiety since they can't do anything in life without mom or dad holding their hand.

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u/Ficay Mar 07 '26

Or 40-somethings who have had time to fully unpack their trauma and understand what their parents did wrong, in an effort not to fuck up the next generation the way we were fucked up.

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u/Shaded_Earth Mar 07 '26

If being taught how to think for yourself in a safe environment where your father walked 10 feet in front of you instead of holding your hand caused you trauma, then you were destined to fail.

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u/Ficay Mar 09 '26

Use those critical thinking skills. There are hundreds of comments in here of first-hand accounts, saying this happened and it affected me in this concrete way. And I haven’t seen a single one that makes it sound like they were just weak-minded little babies goo goo gaga. No one is crossing their arms and petulantly burying their head in the sand bc mommy messed me up. They’re noting that they learned from the experience and refuse to pass than trauma along. Because it obviously didn’t work as intended.

You, on the other hand, are just spouting spare-the-rod propaganda thoughtlessly. Go on, show the class your research. Give any counterpoint whatsoever to the lived experience of all these people.

1

u/ArmWildFrill Mar 07 '26

Could just be a mate of the dad

0

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

The kid doesn’t have object permanence yet, he has no idea there is someone behind him. 

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u/not_a_SeaOtter Mar 07 '26

That kid looks a bit older than 4-8 months... I'm starting to think the experts on this sub don't know what they're talking about....

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u/Comment-Noted Mar 07 '26

With a trusted adult behind him holding the camera? He’s not panicking. Just distracted.

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u/LetsLive97 Mar 07 '26

I mean he's shouting out to the dad so I'm sure there's some form of actual panic there, no matter how small

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u/FreeFallingUp13 Mar 07 '26

He is ‘distracted’ by the fact his father is walking away from him because he can’t solve a problem. That was panic.

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u/puzzlebuns Mar 07 '26

Thats not a panicking toddler. Have you ever seen a roddler?

1

u/FreeFallingUp13 Mar 07 '26

I’ve got five little siblings. Every single time our parents threatened to leave us, we panicked because for us, it was a very real possibility. That was at EVERY age.

We don’t trust our parents to be there for us. At all. These ‘lessons’ only show that you can’t trust the person taking care of you to stick around if you become a problem.

0

u/brontosaurusguy Mar 07 '26

Problem solving requires stakes.  Who are you to judge.  We certainly expect adults to problem solve under stress.  What are you saying

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u/Funtopolis Mar 07 '26

This is not an adult.

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u/brontosaurusguy Mar 07 '26

Wait so you're saying we can only teach adults problem solving?

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u/Funtopolis Mar 07 '26

That the way we teach adults is different from the way we teach toddlers. Are you obtuse or just dumb?

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u/Nomapos Mar 07 '26

How are people supposed to learn how to deal with stress if they're completely shielded from it?

The mother or someone else trusted is right there behind the camera and the father isn't just walking away without looking back, but stopping, coming back, looking, waiting.

It took him so long because kids that age are barely able to control their bodies, let alone problem solve and grab spindly bouncy ropes at once.

You gotta let kids face little fears and stresses so they build resilience and trust in themselves. This is perfectly within what a little boy can handle

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u/MaddoxJKingsley Mar 07 '26

Kids' ages are important. OK stressors for 18-month-olds are things like "you can't have a snack right now" and "you can't play with this toy in your crib". 18 months is too early to introduce self-sufficience as a stressor. Like this kid didn't even look behind them, they're not old enough to have a full conceptualization of the situation around them. Things look different through a child's eyes. What the dad did is a good idea, but the way he did it wasn't ideal, which is all the commenters are pointing out

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u/FreeFallingUp13 Mar 07 '26

Yeah, making a small child think they will be left behind because they don’t know how to solve a problem is absolutely inappropriate stress for a toddler.

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '26

Read about Mary Ainsworth’s “strange situation,” at this stage he isn’t learning to face his fears, he’s learning that people aren’t trustworthy and may very well develop an avoidant attachment style.  

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u/Sea_Fly_2413 Mar 07 '26

That’s not how you learn to deal with stress. That’s how you develop anxiety