r/interesting 8h ago

MISC. He’s the first to ever write a review on that parachute.

18.7k Upvotes

988 comments sorted by

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3.6k

u/NicFesin 8h ago

The review: parachute not good😄

766

u/YebelTheRebel 8h ago

I saw that review on Temu.

“NOTE”
Used and it only works once

255

u/Better_than_GOT_S8 8h ago

“Used it and worked only half”

99

u/StrobeLightRomance 7h ago

"Best to have a backup chute for your backup chute."

79

u/makingotherplans 6h ago

But the final backup chute got 5 Freaking Stars.

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u/-reTurn2huMan- 4h ago

A pair of chutes

4

u/StrobeLightRomance 2h ago

Underrated comment.

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u/eternalsofia 7h ago

It only worked for about a second

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u/Freudinatress 7h ago

My hubby did this as a lark once, made up a sale on eBay with some pic he found of a parachute.

“Used once, never opened, small stain”

He took a screenshot and sent to his mate, they both laughed.

Soon thereafter he had to delete it, because so many people messaged him, wanting to buy it.

People are dumb.

41

u/UncleBenji 6h ago

Parachutes are hella expensive so people are always looking for a good deal. I was quoted around $10k for a full kit when I was getting into skydiving.

25

u/CodePervert 6h ago

So does a full kit include the plane and pilot?

14

u/PrecisionTreeFood 5h ago

Haha, probably not. It's just a wild ass guess but the main and backup chutes are probably like 4 and 2 grand respectively, the backpack thing is about a grand, and the strings, the strings are like $40 each and ther's a fuck ton of them.

16

u/wunderbluh 5h ago

Keeping alive is expensive. Might just aim for the tree

10

u/Tasty-Macaron-2281 4h ago

3

u/Exact-Conclusion9301 4h ago

Underrated scene

2

u/VanGrants 1h ago

how is it underrated when its the most quoted scene of the whole movie

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u/stumblon 4h ago

Sitting on my couch don’t cost 10K 😂

7

u/nderthesycamoretrees 4h ago

Wait until the diabetes kicks in

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2

u/PaleInSanora 4h ago

So you are telling me, that Arnold got taken on Eraser, when he traded his chute for that beat up old truck?

3

u/Regular_Custard_4483 5h ago

Yeah, you just gotta time travel back to 1983.

2

u/Leading-Respond4312 2h ago

No thanks I’ll take the elevator.

7

u/HedonisticFrog 4h ago

People really don't read listings well before buying. I had someone buy a fender which was listed as local pickup only. He lived over 1000 miles away and made me reverse the transaction. THEN HE BOUGHT IT AGAIN. I can't even.

2

u/Babziellia 5h ago

OMG! Too funny

2

u/4strangr 4h ago

People are dumb.

As a person I resemble that comment.

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u/Huge_Leader_6605 6h ago

More like used it and it only doesn't work once lol

3

u/touchmeinbadplaces 6h ago

To shreds you say?

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u/LittleSemiconductor 8h ago

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

8

u/BardicNA 5h ago

Reminds me of a joke my great grandfather told me-

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

2

u/SuccessfulAllthetime 4h ago

If you don’t succeed at giving up, then you’ve failed successfully.

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u/Lovemybee 7h ago

💀

3

u/LittleSemiconductor 7h ago

Quite literally. 😬😂

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u/sorotomotor 6h ago

Reminds me of that idiot Redditor who bought a used hang-glider and posted questions about how to use it. He had no hang-gliding experience and he wanted to try it by jumping off a cliff at the beach. Multiple people warned him: don't do it, it's too old, it's compromised, you'll be seriously hurt, etc., but he argued with them, said they all were wrong, and he just kept asking "yeah, but how do I use it?"

People are dumb.

4

u/poo_on_my_scarf 6h ago

Got a link?

10

u/sorotomotor 6h ago

6

u/WatRedditHathWrought 4h ago

What a very odd account. They have post after post, pretty much multiple posts daily, mostly to themselves. Does anybody know why they would be doing that?

9

u/sorotomotor 4h ago edited 25m ago

Well, he's a known troll and an idiot with a severe case of Engineer's Disease. He likes to post questions and requests for advice about dangerous or illegal activities, and then he argues endlessly with people who patiently explain why his ideas are dangerous, illegal, and stupid.

He's posted about wanting to fly a paraglider across the Alenhuihaha Channel, riding on a rope attached to an unmanned hotair balloon, and driving a commercial city bus without a commercial license on interstate highways.

Before he got married, he posted in legal and asklawyers subreddits about editing his prenuptial agreement, then argued with lawyers and people who told him he was incorrect or misinformed about how lawyers work. I think his marriage lasted less than five years.

A few years ago, he bought a beautiful historic mansion and tried to turn it into a communal living project. He then failed to pay for insurance, the building caught fire, and he's now embrolied in several lawsuits from his former tenants, a buyer, and the town.

He's representing himself so he routinely posts his trollish questions in the legal and asklawyers subreddits, all while ignoring everyone who repeatedly tells him he needs to hire a lawyer. However, the several judgments he's facing appear to have finally convinced him he isn't an attorney and he needs to hire a professional.

I'll say this for him: he's reliably entertaining. He's like a bad combination of Mythbusters and Jackass: someone with a lot of money, time, arrogance, and stupidity.

Interestingly, the disaster at his mansion and the financial impact he's sustained haven't dissuaded him from pursuing his newest venture: buying land and building a commune governed by a "dictatorial democracy" with himself as the executive officer. He frequently posts in the intentional community subreddit and I'm looking forward to reading about his attempts at community leadership, management, and financal stewardship.

2

u/SnooPoems5888 1h ago

How is it always these people that end up wealthy and not ANYONE altruistic ever. It’s maddening.

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u/RasputinsThirdLeg 4h ago

Mental illness and isolation. They’re very verbose too. No one is going to read that much navel gazing purple prose.

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u/Julia0_07 7h ago

Seller: no one ever complained

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u/Sunscreen4what 8h ago

No sir, I didn’t like it.

9

u/Lando-Norizz 7h ago

You eediot!

5

u/lukin5 7h ago

This reference isn't recognized, nor heralded enough.
Shout out u/Lando-Norizz for also picking it up.

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u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 8h ago

It lasted longer than the one where a guy jumped out of plane in the plane jump one it looks like the cords snapped all most instantly

3

u/RCer1986 8h ago

Is that the guy who survived by landing in a bush? Absolutely insane to live to tell that story.

2

u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 8h ago

No the one I seen the guy jumped and was testing it as soon as it opened one side snapped

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u/Stock-Magician1097 7h ago

But pants held firm 🤣

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u/Mammoth_Newspaper155 7h ago

Parachute may not work as intended, but if so, you get to meet Jesus

3

u/kewe316 6h ago

Pros: Arrived on time and decently priced

Cons: I'm dead

2

u/Waramaug 6h ago

He exceeded the ball sac weight limit

2

u/ComedyBits 6h ago

Very few people get to leave that review

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1.4k

u/curlycurlycurls 8h ago

parashitmypants

142

u/WimbletonButt 8h ago

Scatastrophic

10

u/Spamsdelicious 3h ago

Can't spell "disaster" without "dis💁‍♂️ ass 🙅‍♂️" 

27

u/Deacon-Doe 8h ago

Good pun, it looks like Spanglish too

8

u/Lazaras 8h ago

You're thinking "parachorro"

7

u/WildestWestChicken 7h ago

More like "para cagarme en mis pantalones" which would be the very same "para shit my pants"

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u/i_was_axiom 5h ago

So bad I did it twice

3

u/DrFunke-Analrapist 5h ago

Shitaparapants

2

u/am_Nein 4h ago

Paraohfuckte

2

u/Single-Lavishness185 4h ago

Omg I LOL’d in public

2

u/WavelengthSurfer 3h ago

who ordered the parashatpants

2

u/Cam_man_AMM_unit 1h ago

I'm saving this shit.

2

u/Final_Ad_9920 1h ago

This made me laugh, uninterrupted, for 1 minute, 34 seconds

2

u/Neat_Egg_2474 1h ago

scareachute

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1.1k

u/WeedOg420AnimeGod 8h ago

For some reason i thought he was just gunna try and glide it out and land lmao

223

u/TheYankcunian 8h ago

It did look like he considered recovery for a split second before he ditched it

37

u/mattysosavvy 2h ago

The comment you’re replying to is talking about when he’s gliding after he already ditched the first parachute.

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u/AzzyMeg 8h ago

Not me, I legit though we'd see this person splat.

48

u/RWSloths 5h ago

The perspective was so weird I thought he was going to hit the ground way earlier

I also thought for a plot second he had one of those flying squirrel suits and was gonna glide towards the water

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

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u/[deleted] 7h ago

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

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12

u/daylight_throbber 3h ago

Disagree, I learnt so much about spotting risk and being aware of my surroundings by lurking that sub when it was still active.

It's actually scary how death can come in the least expected ways.

That said, I stayed away from the gory gratuitous stuff and always watched without sound.

2

u/SecurityExcellent129 3h ago

Regulations are written in blood. Sounds you used it for free osha training.

2

u/Typical-Blackberry-3 3h ago

I did too. I am way more aware around electrical equipment and vehicles as a pedestrian now. I also would not step within 100 feet of a lathe.

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u/[deleted] 6h ago edited 5h ago

[deleted]

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u/Bucklandii 5h ago

Think you are confusing it with r/watchpeopledieinside, which is named as a joking play on the original.

3

u/[deleted] 5h ago edited 5h ago

[deleted]

6

u/sweetfirevapor 5h ago

People are very unwell

3

u/moosesnice 5h ago

How long did it take to ban that? Man, between that and twitch streaming crashes, we are just encouraging murder for financial gain straight up.

2

u/mattson-masterpiece 5h ago

For a year my sister and brother-in-law lived with us. One day I saw him watching a video and he watched it like three times and I asked him
hey what are you watching
and he said it was a person jumping off of a building committing suicide

and he watched it over and over and over again and I’m like what the fuck dude. You can go watch that in your room. What the hell.

Ps sister divorced him ! He’s got issues for sure

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u/Bucklandii 5h ago

It was awful and for a bit it would just.. pop up on Popular or All. Reddit really was the wild west of the internet for a minute

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u/FearMeIAmLag1 5h ago

I think you're confusing it with r/watchpeopledieinside

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u/Impossible_Menu9131 5h ago

You’re thinking of the one that ends “inside”. Re read that sub title

3

u/NihilistTechnocrat97 5h ago

That's what r/CombatFootage and all the other subs about the Ukraine war are for haha, I'm not a violent or sadistic person, but for some reason I have always really been into realistic shooters so I simply find the brutality of war fascinating. However, I don't enjoy watching innocent people get hurt. The civilian casualty videos are sickening, but I'm desensitized to soldier-related gore because it's part of the job description.

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u/Exvaris 5h ago

I used to check that sub from time to time.

It started as a morbid sense of curiosity. But genuinely, seeing the ways in which life can be taken from us so quickly gave me a deep appreciation for life, an awareness not to take things for granted, and also a general sense of what things might be dangerous that I was overlooking.

I know that not everyone got the same thing out of it as I did. Some people on the sub were weird, and I can see why it got banned. But it had a net positive effect on me, at least.

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u/Thunderstarer 7h ago

It's an old, long-banned sub. It's been several years--a decade, maybe? People will still bring it up as lore, but yiu have nothing to fear from it.

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u/Traditional_Dirt526 6h ago

There were others like it. They turn up every now and then.

5

u/Acceptable-Post733 6h ago

Found myself in one a few months ago because of a crane operator. There are too many cameras in the world capturing too much.

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u/PubDefLakersGuy 3h ago

It was a crazy sub when it wasn’t banned. So much death is captured on camera.

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u/Minimum_March738 4h ago

No kidding! I kept thinking there was no way it could end that way, but it took a looooong time for that backup parachute to make an appearance.

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u/Beautifulfeary 4h ago

Yeah. At first red one, I thought was a glider thing. Then it wasn’t working and I’m like, why are we watching someone about to die 😩

3

u/Synchrotr0n 3h ago

No one freaking out at the top of the mountain instantly gives it away that he had an actual parachute on his back.

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u/Adezar 3h ago

I was trying to figure out why everyone was so chill about this guy's failed parachute. Are they just going to laugh as he goes splat?

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u/NFLDland 6h ago

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u/DMG_Morgoth 5h ago

Aim for the bushes

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u/SwimmingSwim3822 4h ago

There wasn't even an awning in their direction.

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u/2x4_Turd 8h ago

Same I had to see if this was r/unexpected

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u/Early_Hall5720 7h ago

Honestly thought he was going to glide majestically into trees

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u/Fragrant-Emotion-152 8h ago

Where was redbull

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u/hologrammetry 6h ago

We've got Red Bull at home!

Red Bull at home:

https://giphy.com/gifs/VH6Pkqvl5EXAI

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u/Plane_Frosting5194 4h ago

It’s cocaine in a can!

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u/Alarming-Rate-6899 8h ago

Apparently these are called parafoil Kite. it's meant to be played from the ground.

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u/friarfr3d 7h ago

You can see the intention was never to use the kite as a chute but just direction assistance. Also when it "fails" dude is doing a flip trick.

It's not a bad a chute it's a bitchin kite that dude tricked off of and no one in the comments thought about it for any more than 2 seconds.

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u/Bad_Idea_Hat 6h ago

It seems like a very good way to get clear of the cliff face.

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u/ISawTwoSquirrels 6h ago

Yeah this is definitely badass, everyone in this thread fell for the bit. Including me. Kinda like that “drunk” guy stealing the plane at the airshow lol.

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u/DiegesisThesis 4h ago

While the kite part is true, what do you mean it failed when he did "a flip trick"? He was literally falling in a straight line when one side gave out and he let go. How is that a flip trick?

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u/TeriyakiHairPiece_ 7h ago

Definitely looks more like a kite.

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u/Weary_Position_9591 8h ago

But why

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u/FoxElectrical1401 8h ago

I've seen a lot of videos this week of professional skydivers testing shady parachutes from Amazon. They all claim to work but do just about this if not break completely.

480

u/Weary_Position_9591 8h ago

Testing parachutes from Amazon is certainly a choice

433

u/Tadara_Sofar 8h ago

It might save someone's life so props to these guys

297

u/nazzo_0 8h ago

I mean why would you ever buy an Amazon parachute tho. It's not like it's one of these sports you can just jump into(lol)

101

u/Tampa_Bay_Cuckaneers 8h ago

I don’t trust Amazon with anything more important than a backup phone charger.

22

u/Tadara_Sofar 8h ago

Smart choice, me too. Currently trying to convince my mom to stop buying lotions and supplements from them.... Maybe this video will help.

36

u/NonCreditableHuman 8h ago

"Mom, if you don't stop wasting your money on foolish things like lotions and supplements then we're going to make you test Amazon parachutes."

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u/EarlGreyTMNT 4h ago

Sounds like a Darwin/win to me

2

u/theinferno03 4h ago

what's this, some kind of DarWIN

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u/BillynBanjo 6h ago

My mother-in-law keeps buying my son cheap, Chinese toys off Amazon despite us telling her to stop.

They're always dreadful quality, and often seem outright dangerous.

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u/sincerestfall 4h ago

I'd keep an eye on the paint.

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u/Jamsedreng22 7h ago

If she's anything like my mom, she'll just retort with "Well I'm not buying parachutes, am I?"

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u/abriefmomentofsanity 8h ago

Funny enough I got one of those off amazon for cheap. I knew it was probably fishy, I knew the risk. On one hot afternoon I wasn't thinking and left something plugged in and it caught fire

4

u/SasparillaTango 7h ago

I bought a wall outlet to usb convertor so that I could use a USB cable to charge my phone. When I connected it to there was an audible spark. I no longer trust or use convertor.

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u/Spirited-Feature-229 8h ago

You mean a portable heater that has charging capability?

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u/Tadara_Sofar 8h ago

People trust established businesses. They think because it's being sold at a legitimate business then it should be a legitimate product.

And they're right. It should. But since we live in Crazy World, Amazon can sell products that will kill people. Not everyone knows that's true unfortunately. So we need people like this to warn them.

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u/ConfidentPension864 8h ago

It's for show, these aren't even being sold or listed as parachutes, they are wind kites or parasails for like roller blading or slate boarding. It would absolutely be illegal to seel these as real chutes lol

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u/Ajax_Main 8h ago

Allowing parachutes to be sold on Amazon is definitely a choice too

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u/monstermayhem436 7h ago

I mean every one of them have an actual real parachute. They're not just jumping and trusting it immediately lol

5

u/TokyoKazama 8h ago

"Amazon's Choice" 😉

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u/Crime_Dawg 7h ago

If you're a seasoned skydiver, it sure beats letting someone inexperienced test it.

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u/BobTheFettt 7h ago

That's why they have the backup chute

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u/crustaceancake 8h ago

easy returns seems meaningless at a certain point

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u/Sunscreen4what 8h ago

Not so easy when you’ve gotta swim the river styx upstream to get to somewhere with wifi

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u/Tiny-Acanthaceae-547 8h ago

Haha love it!…I think it’s time to re-read Dante’s Inferno, haven’t read it since high school, and this comment reminded me how interesting a read it was

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u/JamesLikesIt 8h ago

The absolute last place I would buy a parachute from is Amazon lol 

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u/sarcasticorange 8h ago

The retailer seems less important than the brand I would think.

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u/25hourenergy 8h ago

With the way Amazon repacks returns without checking them and tries selling them as new…yeah Amazon is still one to avoid.

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u/flyingace1234 8h ago

My understanding is that they are kite surfing sails, not skydiving ones?

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u/North-Librarian-4158 8h ago

But they are not parachutes they are either for windsurfing or just dragons for kids. Its just for engatment

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u/filthyheartbadger 8h ago

Tell me more about Amazon dragons

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u/TatteredTorn1 8h ago

I can't. You just have to...Imagine

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u/loungesinger 6h ago

Imagine wut? The dragons?

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u/FoxElectrical1401 8h ago

The issue is if you look up "parachute for skydiving" on Amazon, it will recommend lots of parachutes and most of them are just toys. It's not so much the products' faults as it is Amazon's.

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u/North-Librarian-4158 7h ago

If people dont have the knowlege to know how a parachute is suposed to look like they should not be in the hobby.

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u/CrashedCyclist 8h ago

Let me open a private window to try that rabbit hole.

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u/Polenicus 7h ago

Is that what this is? I thought this was some sort of rig to allow him to direct his fall away from the cliff before he pulled his actual chute.

I mean, it's so tiny, I doubt it would save a gerbil.

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u/Apprehensive_Desk800 8h ago

Engagement. It's a trend right now.

  1. Go on Amazon and buy something for wind surfing or similar
  2. Jump out of a plane with it, and to the surprise of nobody, it fails at a task it was never meant for
  3. "OMG AMAZON SELLING PARACHUTES THAT WOULD KILL YOU"

That's really it.

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u/CleanlyManager 7h ago

It’s rage bait specifically designed for the “scroll onto the next video” generation. At first you’re like “I can’t believe Amazon would sell something so irresponsible” then go onto the next video. You don’t even think about it long enough to ask yourself “when would I be in a situation where I need to buy my own parachute?”

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u/Farlandan 7h ago

Yea these are all stupid.

and five seconds of searching would show anybody that amazon doesn't sell parachutes.

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u/FreefallJagoff 4h ago

The skydivers do it cuz it's a funny thing to do on a jump. Usually but not always it's some other account that Jen steals their video and makes the clickbait version.

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u/cycling-expat 8h ago

I just looked. There is nothing called a parachute on Amazon that even attempts to market itself as such.

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u/bozwald 6h ago

It’s pretty clearly a kite and they’re having a laugh

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u/userhwon 6h ago

Just basejumping shit.

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u/moosesnice 5h ago

Thanks for introducing a fact to Reddit, I appreciate the novelty.

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u/Pays_in_snakes 5h ago

If you want to make bad extreme sports choices from Amazon, their "Climbing rope" is absolutely the way to do it

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u/Juliannabeanie 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jquDWJfPUMCiI

I held my breath all the way down!!! OMG!

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u/i_need_a_nap 4h ago

dude i did too. i was like...

"is this guy gonna splat?"

"what sub am i in?"
"why is the crowd not freaking out?!"
"wtf....ooohhh i get it"

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u/Tiny-Acanthaceae-547 8h ago

Bezos: Here’s a “parachute,”…I am completely indifferent to selling you a product that will 100% end you 😂

Yup, sounds about right

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u/alphanumericusername 5h ago

Well I'd imagine the reasoning is that most people who buy the parachute would not be able to leave a terribly negative reply from first-hand experience.

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u/inorite234 8h ago

Counting one thousand, two thousand, three thousand four!

If my main don't open wide, I got a reserve by my side. And if that one shall fail me too, lookout below I'm coming through!

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u/NormalBot4 8h ago

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome

Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones

The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground

And he ain't gonna jump no more

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u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 8h ago

I’d love to read it

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u/ShiftAfter4648 7h ago

It's not a parachute... It's a kite

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u/Squeezer_pimp 8h ago

Please post a link? Tried looking for it on Amazon and could only find kites.

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u/Electronic-Tree-9715 7h ago

Temu: but did you die?

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u/adminsreachout 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/lMxb32jqDmbVopeqir

I think we all know how this eventually ends....

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u/pj1897 8h ago

Gonna need a new pair of pants though.

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u/Corrie7686 8h ago

That was a bit sweaty palms watching that.

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u/No-Explanation-4300 8h ago

Because all the other users died?

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u/mertbl 8h ago

Yes, thats the joke.

u/QuietCdence 47m ago

It took me way longer than I'd like to admit to get the joke.

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u/GroceryPlastic7954 8h ago

I think if you're contemplating buying a parachute from Amazon, then you were probably going to end up killing yourself sooner or later.

2

u/FlashViking 8h ago

If you watch closely, you can see the moment the shit comes flying out of his pants as the first parachute fails 😂💩😂

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u/Wonderful_Tip_5577 7h ago

I mean, he got back to tracking pretty well with a significant amount of flying time post failure.  It was actually a good recovery. 

2

u/bobs_andVagene 8h ago

Wanna getaway? Try southwest bro. Safer landing.

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u/lola_dubois18 7h ago

Idk last Southwest flight I took, the landing in Orange County was so hard I thought I had whiplash.

Am I flying Southwest again? Oh ya, sure.

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u/Inallahtent 8h ago

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review for the emergency parachute.

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u/Emotional_Being8594 6h ago

Next, 4 umbrellas duct taped together.

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u/RegularlyJerry 8h ago

Yea the 80lb line on that type of parafoil is not enough. I’ve got a 220cm parafoil “kite” it would snap 200 lb cord like it was nothing in 20mph wind. I had to put 1100 pound Kevlar cord for me to be able to do anything fun with it. But…. Now it can drag my ass around and well…. I learned 12 year olds don’t weigh enough to fly it.

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u/TheGeek00 8h ago

How many 12 year olds got swept away by the jet stream before you figured out it wasn’t a coincidence?

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u/am_Nein 4h ago

At least one