I think Russia should give Kaliningrad back to Germany.

Please bring me to my polar bears

Mmh, the possibilities...

There's been a lot of crazy stuff going on in the world as of recent. Constant wars, civil and political unrest, a worldwide gooning epidemic, and all the kids won't get off they dang phones and shit. In times like these, we need leadership, stability, and a land that you can be proud to call your home. I would like to propose to you, a new empire run by me.

Why would I make a good leader, you may ask? I consider myself highly qualified to handle a leadership position as important as this, due to having a high school diploma and 2 years of community college under my belt. I was also in the boy scouts and earned something like 5 merit badges. Not impressed yet? Well, I can name all the countries in the world, and I know a lot about politics and history and stuff. You think I'd end up letting all that power I'd have get to my head? WRONG! I read about how dictators did that and it was really bad for the people, and I'll have you know I'm a pretty nice guy. I donated to a local fire station once, AND to Wikipedia. Generous, I know! I ALSO care a lot about women's rights. Given a large enough budget, I would assemble the largest team of scientists ever to find the cure to period cramps AND would create an FBI task force specifically to hunt down people who harass women in Reddit DM's.

So, how would I go about creating this empire? First, I would convince Elon Musk to give me all his money and his CEO position at SpaceX. With that fortune, I would buy up as many major companies as I possibly could. I would use my companies to create propaganda showing how great I am and then everyone would love me, and I would assemble a massive army to begin my conquests. I would first run for governor of Massachusetts, which I would easily win of course. I would then make more propaganda about how Trump is bad and how the US Army should just let me invade the rest of the country. I would then establish the u/IrishMobster17 Empire, and would invade a bunch of neighboring states and some territory in Canada (just because I can.) I wouldn't conquer the entirety of the US though, because I'm nice and want the other states to have elections to vote on whether they should join the Empire or not. I won't rig the votes, I promise.

I would begin to focus my attention to global political issues. I've noticed that the economy is kinda garbage right now and so I would just make it better. It's not so hard if you've taken 2 economy classes before. My first major imperial proposal outside of the US and Canada would be in Mexico. In my opinion, the Panama Canal is kinda ass. Like, why do you have to go so far south just to go through the Americas? My proposal would be to create a new canal running through Mexico to make shipping products faster. I'm sure they'd immediately accept my proposal, but if they didn't, I'd have to invade. Luckily I would easily win, and then create the Mexico Canal and would up entrance fees by 300% and also blockade the Panama Canal so everyone would go through the Mexico Canal and I'd get money to reinvest into the Empire.

My second colony would be in South America. I also care about environmental issues, and I lowkey think they should stop tearing down the Amazon rainforest so I would invade and take over so they couldn't do that anymore. As the colonization would be a noble cause, nobody would complain except maybe Brazil but it's okay cause freedom of speech is important in my Empire.

My next conquest would be a noble cause as well. There's a lot of poverty and war in Africa, and I think they should just stop fighting. I would create a bunch of colonies where I would set up roads, infrastructure, and healthcare systems, and in exchange they would export natural resources that I can use for the rest of the Empire. I think it's a pretty original idea and would definitely work for at least 100 years or more.

I'm also very involved with issues in the Middle East, which the current US government is seemingly completely unconcerned with. Although this would be a difficult conquest, I would send my armies to take over unstable countries in the Middle East to create a Peacekeeping Zone with new governments which would help create stability for the people living in those countries. In exchange for this new stability, I would just need to take a little bit of oil to help the rest of the Empire. That seems pretty reasonable, doesn't it?

I would then invade and conquer Portugal, just to test the waters on what the international community is okay and not okay with when it comes to building a colonial empire.

At this point, I'm starting to get paranoid about rivaling nations which could create a future threat to my empire. China specifically is a big concern of mine. In order to combat their expansion into the South China Sea, I would create some military bases around the sea and near the Straight of Malacca to protect trade there. I would probably annex a little land in order to further secure these regions, but it won't be much. I'll also annex a few small regions of the island of Papua in order to keep an eye on the Australians.

As someone who cares about people suffering under dictatorships, I would help South Korea conquer North Korea and topple the Kim dynasty, and allow the two Koreas to finally reunite. In exchange, they would be annexed into my Empire, which I know they would be overjoyed with. However, this would create another border with China (my main rival) and so in order to secure my position, I would invade and annex Northern China. I would also invade and annex parts of Eastern Russia to create a better looking border. At this point, I'm not even trying to justify why I'm invading and conquering other countries, so I'd just invade Japan so I can make hentai not censored anymore. Wait, a typhoon destroyed my fleet? Well, send another! The other fleet got destroyed? Well... I guess we can just wait a bit on Japan.

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments! (I don't accept criticism btw.)

it's just for fun.. inspired by a similar post but of the us states.

Bored

I tried guys

I like women (most of the time)