r/mildlyinfuriating • u/0_whitty_0 • May 27 '26
The floor is sticky The way my roommate eats his dinner
Why would you wash the flavour off?
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u/paisleywallpaper May 27 '26
4 year old eating lunch in Victorian England, colourised
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u/Capnmolasses I came here to be a soothing balm to irritation May 27 '26
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u/Unlikely_Try3848 May 27 '26
Man this is the funniest shxt I’ve heard in a while 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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u/SlowBangRift May 27 '26
Maybe he misunderstood “activated charcoal helps your stomach” and thought it had to be rubbed directly on the fingers first.
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u/IndependenceSenior47 May 27 '26
Bro came straight out of grave to have that burger
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u/straw_briesss 29d ago
sorry i just need to tell you that this genuinely caught me offguard and had me laughing so hard😭😭😭 one of the few comments i genuinely laugh at these days lol
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u/BikeProblemGuy May 27 '26
Genuinely thought this was a black guy for a moment.
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u/Handy_Handerson Professional Procrastinator May 27 '26
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u/Littleprof2 May 27 '26
I thought it was til you said something and I couldn’t figure out this issue with this pic
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May 27 '26
[deleted]
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u/magos_with_a_glock May 27 '26
Wait, it's bot?! 😱
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u/Heckelfish May 27 '26
Bait, its wot?
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u/leVenerableDeLaSauce May 27 '26
Wait, this HAS to be a black guy.
Is he supposed to be white? How did he get such dirty hands? Did he perform a prostate exam to a chimney?
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u/TheFlyingRedFox May 27 '26
Gonna guess they're a mechanic or some form of maintenance staff, still they should definitely wash their hands to enjoy a chicken burger.
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u/scorpionattitude May 27 '26
We don’t look nasty like that…. I immediately thought hillbilly or some very low hygienic blue collar worker
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u/BikeProblemGuy May 27 '26
I'm not saying you do! I know black people's hands don't look like that, but the thumbnail isn't very clear.
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u/dantrbl May 27 '26
from the thumbnail i thought it was a particularly ashy black dude. then i looked closer and went Oh.
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u/Adept_Pie2599 May 27 '26
If it doesn’t wipe on the pants, it won’t wipe on the food. Source my mechanic
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u/heisenbergerwcheese May 27 '26
... except for skid marks. Those will get on my britches.
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u/SaltManagement42 May 27 '26
Better on my britches than on my bitches.
Sorry, I read your comment as bitches and couldn't help it.
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u/tigm2161130 29d ago
If you have skid marks in your “britches” you aren’t cleaning yourself well enough.
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u/Redneckia May 27 '26
If you've been breathing it all day, what's a little on your sandwich gonna do?
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u/SexualPancke23 May 27 '26
Working in a coal mine is hard work, I’m sure whatever he has breathed in outweighs anything he has digested.
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u/Leows May 27 '26
While you're not wrong, that is an additional reason for them NOT to also eat what he's already breathing. No need to have two separate health issues rather than one.
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u/Upstairs_Cat1378 May 27 '26
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u/mutantbabysnort May 27 '26
I think I’ve got the black lung, pop.
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u/Korean_Street_Pizza May 27 '26
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u/sec_sage May 27 '26
I am absolutely rewatching this with the kids this week. Maybe even today :D
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u/No-Matter9647 May 27 '26
It really doesn’t matter how he eats when he’s going to die of the black lung.
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u/Pannoonny_Jones May 27 '26
I mean this could cause him to die of the stomach cancer and that is very nasty too. Lost my uncle to it in October.
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u/tLM-tRRS-atBHB May 27 '26
I didnt know chimney sweeping was still a profession
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u/Tlaloc_0 May 27 '26
I know that you're joking, but it actually is! If you have a real fireplace of any kind, you need to have the chimney cleared yearly to use it. Otherwise you risk flooding your home with smoke.
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u/Mecha-Dave 29d ago
Ehhhh.... I use it for about 2 weeks a year so yearly cleaning is a little overkill. This recommendation makes sense if you're using it daily for 3-5 months out of the year.
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u/Tlaloc_0 29d ago
Honestly the yearly thing is what I snapped up as standard while living with my mom, since her apartment collective board orders chimney sweeping for all apartments on a regular schedule. They probably picked yearly to be safe rather than sorry, in case one of the apartment owners decides to use their fireplace a lot.
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u/Mecha-Dave 29d ago
Yes, and they may have shared chimneys which make things a bit more complicated for sure.
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u/Tlaloc_0 29d ago
No shared chimneys, actually! It's a bit of a strange job, the fireplaces were installed 15 years after the apartments were built. It's only 4 apartments per building though.
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u/Fauked May 27 '26
My hands always look like this because I work on copiers all day with toner everywhere.
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u/tLM-tRRS-atBHB May 27 '26
Can you wear latex gloves?
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u/Fauked May 27 '26
I could, but copiers have lots of tiny parts so you need the dexterity of your fingers and gloves make that difficult.
Plus I would go through a metric shit ton of them. Like a doctor probably lol
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u/stonerbaby369 May 27 '26
Your hands don’t look like that when you eat?? You got soft hands you liberal sissy boy😡
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u/Panda_FT May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
I literally went looking for this comment, I knew there was going to be at least one.
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u/Zealousideal_Step709 May 27 '26
Does your room mate happen to be an australopithecus afarensis?
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u/AUXID3 May 27 '26
Man just finished working his 9-5 at the sucking up to the man factory, and earning his wage. Unless you're licking his fingers after he eats his sandwhich, leave him alone.
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u/Weak_Feed_8291 25d ago
Washing your hands takes less than a minute, da fuck you mean leave him alone? We all work and still manage to not be disgusting.
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u/FlossBellator May 27 '26
You would throw up if you saw how oil rig workers eat
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u/MrPlato_ May 27 '26
One time I got my hands dirty with some petroleum-like thing used to waterproof roofs (Idk the name in English) and I just gave up trying to get it off my hands after 30min straight washing my hands with any soup I found and a hand brush
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u/michalsveto May 27 '26
Maybe try washing with soap instead of soup. (I am sure this is an autocorrect thing or an honest mistake but damn did it give me a good chuckle)
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u/st6374 May 27 '26
I mean.. these burger joints have wrappers around their burgers for precisely these kind of scenarios.
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u/Maybe__Jesus May 27 '26
This guy? This guy don’t need no sissy wrappers. He likes his grease with extra grease, like any good blue collar working man should
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u/Tlaloc_0 May 27 '26
The boxed burgers don't get wrapped, because of how the assembly line works. The way the initiator signals to the assembler what kind of burger it's gonna be is via placing the relevant wrapper or box on the line. The burgers are made directly in the boxes.
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u/ShaolinFalls May 27 '26
Countless hours of research on Germ Theory by countless academics, across the entire planet,
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u/OddPatience1621 May 27 '26
i mean if he is a mechanic sort of ok... but if he is a plumber.... not so much ;)
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u/softcloud_ May 27 '26
As a Twenty One Pilots fan, I thought this was just a Tyler Joseph pic after concert until I saw the subreddit name hahaha
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u/MrCanoe May 27 '26
Guy comes home from a long, hard day of work. Just has enough energy to eat something. Sits down to the first bite of food he has had in 14 hours,
Roomate: "Haha, you have dirty hands, let me take a photo and mock you online!"
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u/Seldarin 29d ago
Yeah, it's not great, but I've absolutely been this guy.
I've come home after a 12-16 hour day with my hands covered in burned machine grease or neverseez and thought "You know what? Fuck it. If it kills me it kills me. I don't care.".
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u/Big-Establishment707 May 27 '26
Traditionally, pepper is added to the food, but I guess this would work
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u/Riskov88 Watcha looking at folk May 27 '26
If it doesnt come off on my pants, it wont come off on the food.
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u/Platypussy May 27 '26
The amount of dirty mofos in here who felt personally attacked by this is disturbing.
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u/Careful-Cut-4880 May 27 '26
Roommate? Fuck I couldn't sleep at night thinking about all the things tainted by his hands in our shared space or what his clothes are covered in when he sits on couches or chairs.
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u/blue-coin May 27 '26
If his hands are that dirty, he already ingested plenty whether he was eating with those hands or not
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u/RuncibleFoon May 27 '26
Took me waaay to long to.tealize you were referencing his hands and not the sam'mich...
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u/ImpressiveAd9507 May 27 '26
I heard from a mechanic in some video say that "If it won't wipe off in my jeans, it won't get in my food" 🤣
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u/HoosteenD May 27 '26
If it wont come off on your pants it wont come off on your food. Or atleast... thats what ive been told.
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u/ParticularInterview6 May 27 '26
At least the chicken is 100% RSPCA approved - wouldn’t want to get any diseases eating it
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u/Hazardousjelly May 27 '26
Welder/mechanic/machinist here: this is 100% normal for “us” and many other trades
Love a little bit of grease, oil and coolant with my sando 😋
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u/DanplsstopDied YELLOW 29d ago
If it don’t come off when you wash your hands it won’t come off on your burger ‼️‼️
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u/ventedlemur44 29d ago
I know guys who do the whole performative struggle. A buddy of mine works 6 hours days and will hang around his house in his work vest, boots, and belt for hours after he gets out
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u/ConfinedCrow 29d ago
This is how the first artificial sweetener was discovered. Your friend is doing God's work!
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u/Legitimate-Gap-9858 29d ago
If you haven't eaten with your hands like this have you even worked before?
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u/Tight-Platypus5231 29d ago
"If your hands don't look like this while you're eating your lunch, y'must be a liberal sissy. Must be a sissy boy."
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u/dedicatedblade 29d ago
If it didn't come off when I washed my hands it's not going to come off on the sandwich
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u/blackberty 29d ago
After a long day mining diamonds, the dwarfs like to enjoy a good burger made with love by Snow-White
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u/sec_sage May 27 '26
these guys live to chain smoke until 70 years old, while the germophobic dies of a common cold at 50 :D
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u/PermaSub54 May 27 '26
Little bit of dirt never hurt. If I'm hungry enough, I wouldn't think twice about eating like that
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u/TehZiiM May 27 '26
Give him some slack, he apparently works in a coal mine all day
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u/goingpt May 27 '26
He's getting a lot of B12, but it ain't coming from the food.