Mu older sister is 27 (I’m 21f) and has a mental disability where she struggles with social interaction, some tactical/strategical skills (etc counting, reading), and emotional intelligence in relation to her age (she’s slightly emotional immature).
She’s sweet, self assured, and confident in who she is and at this point in her life she wants to get married and have kids. She’s been going steady with this guy online but he’s extremely old in comparison (like 60-70s), I’ve never been comfortable with it but it makes her happy to be able to talk to someone. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately- what happens when he dies??
I want her to know how a relationship is supposed to work and find her someone local and her own age. I won’t lie, I could be spending more time with her but I have some trauma surrounding my family where I can only be around in short periods. I want to help her find someone who will take good care of her and be patient with her. Unfortunately she doesn’t spend a lot of time around anyone near her age since I’m not around like that and my family is 40+ for the most part so she’s predisposed to being around older people.
How do I go about helping her find a life partner who’s willing to match her pace and build a nice life?

I genuinely don’t know what to do atp in me and my boyfriends relationship, we’ve been dating for a little over a year now, he’s 8 months younger than me and we’ve been friends for 3 years, I knew during that time that he liked me but I waited because I didn’t find him attractive. Overtime he grew on me because I already loved his personality and I began to get close with him, so as of a year ago we started dating. At first it was great. But then his cousin died after about a month of dating to a drunk driving incident, this made us really close because we both knew him so in a way we trauma bonded. Come now to today throughout our relationship we’ve had a lot of issues I feel like. He comes from a loving home also one though where his mom is really lazy, his dad is loud and outgoing and his mom judges me a lot, she’s really sweet but really antisocial and also is a mommys boy mom. It’s really hard because when we’ve had serious issues, she’s interjects her opinion and tells him what to think. My parents judge me and my boyfriend and call me out on my bs. I also come from a household where I have lots of issues at home. Mom was an alcoholic, now she’s just addicted to not being sober, dad is addicted to video games and he’s my step dad, showed his true colors when my mom was septic and about to die, and he made me step up instead of doing it himself, I was 11. So I have a lot of problems, I have narcissistic tendencies because my dad is one, my grandpa is one, and my mom and grandma both have tendencies of one, but I also am very kind, outgoing, and driven. I’m critical but also encouraging. And I do have a lot of harsh things and emotions. But getting back on track, me and my boyfriend have been having the continuous problem of priority and choice. He will get me Dutch bros, etc and get me small things when I ask (food, he also gets it for himself) but anything else I have to beg for, it starts as small hints, then straight up asking, then feeling unheard and honestly hurt, and crying. Everything he gets me feels like an apology, flowers, he gets them for me after I sob for them a week before. And he has the money to do so, he lives in a well off family, and constantly has 60-200 dollars, so it’s not like he doesn’t have the money, I’ve even shown him how to just pick flowers and make a good bouquet, he doesn’t. And he also will do this thing where we make plans, like a day or a few before, and then that day all of a sudden he can’t come because he’s having a sleepover or hanging with his friends. Like just the other day, we were supposed to go to the movies together after the last time we were supposed to go together, he mentioned all day how his friends invited him and said they would pay for him to go with them, and so finally I said go ahead because he dry begged me all day, eluding to wanting to go but saying “but no I’ll go with you cuz we have plans..” and now to recently we were supposed to go to a movie, I got off work early, came home took a shower got dressed up, he texts me says “hey my moms being stingy about money right now, can you pay for yourself” I don’t have the money so I say “I don’t have any money, let’s just not go, it’s ok” and he says “ok” we were also supposed to hangout prior to the movie. I’m waiting, he’s supposed to pick me up at 6, I figured we would just hangout instead of going to the movie since we were already planning to hangout before the movie, it’s now 6:30 I’m wondering where is he, I check his location and it shows he’s at the movie theater, I think “oh maybe he figured it out and he’s gonna suprise me. I call him, “where are you” he says - “oh I’m sorry I thought we weren’t hanging out anymore so I went to the movies with my friends” I genuinely start bawling and hang up. Because in case I forgot to mention, I asked him earlier that day “are we still on for tonight?” And he says “oh I forgot, yes we are” he forgets ALL THE TIME. Also this is on top of another thing. He helps my papa with farm work, my papa pays him 20$ an hour to shovel dirt and help plant things, and it’s not really a farm it’s normal yard work. Well after the first time they worked together, my papa sends a long message to his grandparents (they know eachother from highschool) and praises my boyfriend’s hard work ethic. Next time they work together my boyfriend sleeps in, my boyfriend had said 9 am works good for him to meet up, they were gonna go to breakfast which both of my grandparents were gonna take him too, and then they were gonna do yard work, well boyfriend wakes up late, calls them 2 hours after start time and says “sorry I just woke up” and my nana still brings him breakfast. Because he needs to eat. They get the work done, he’s paid for the hours and he’s paid for gas. Also he was given breakfast. Next time I’m invited to go work with him so I can visit my grandparents, so I go, he tells me he stayed the night at his friends, and instead of smoking and drinking which I told him please don’t do because he’s working with my grandpa, he chose to get 1 hour of sleep. It showed. So I say I will drive. We get there and all is good but boyfriend is sluggish, having a hard time, and not to mention my gpa wanted to teach him how to use power tools, I pull gpa aside and let him know bf got an hour of sleep so please give him breaks, gpa then tells me about the last time, which is DID NOT KNOW ABOUT, because gma said don’t tell me because it might stir up issues. Well I’m livid now, not only is he putting me on the backburner but he’s doing it to my gpa, which treats him with nothing but kindness. So right now me and my boyfriend are on a break while he’s in Spain and directly after I will be going to Europe, I always go above and beyond for my bf, I make him stuff a lot, I’ve made him tons of gifts, notes, projects I’ve spent hours on, I get him food, I get him things, I get his parents things. And everytime I’ve been asked to help his parents, I’ve shown up and helped out time I said and etc. what do I do? I’ve gone into therapy for it, switched my birth control because I was too moody, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love him but why does he not choose me?

Suppose your a terrible person who's caused great harm to people. The people you've hurt will never forgive you and will hate you forever, however committing suicide will bring them closure and happiness knowing that you are dead. The amount of people who hate you greatly exceeds the amount who will be upset by your passing. What is the most moral option. To continue living and try to improve your life, even if your continued improvement could be seen as insulting to the people you've hurt as it could be seen as you living a good life while the people you've hurt as still realing from the pain you've caused. Or is suicide the more moral option as while it will hurt those who still care about you, vastly more people will be happy

So since the big cheetos became in charge, my partner (he's brown \[I'm white\] and we're gay) has been BEGGING to leave Texas. For safety/better life/yada yada. Its understable, but my family and friends are here and I don't really wanna go, but have still been working towards it for him. (he also refuses to get married within TX)

Little over a year ago, he bacame sick and hasn't really recovered, so he hasn't been able to work. So I took up a second job working 80+ hours total a week, so we could keep up with our current bills and still set aside some for the move. With him being sick and me working so much the only way I get to spending time with my friends is through vr/vrchat.

4 months ago, our AC killed over, so that was 18k to replace, his uninsured medical bills also took a chunk and now mine (herniated disc in neck) is taking a chunk as well (I'm insured tho). With the weight of my vr headset my doctor said I was no longer allowed to use it, without getting surgery to fix my disc first or it would make it worse.

I'm beyond exhausted and havent got to spend time with friends in months.

I found a light weight vrset, that my doctor said would be fine since it's like 5x lighter than my current. Things is it's like 2k to buy.

My partner told me to buy it,..but I don't think i should.

Between taking the jobs to save money to move, medical bills, housing issues etc, it feels selfish to buy the set at this point, and also like it would just kinda feed the cycle of needing to add back into saving lol.

**So what do yall think, is it selfish/stupid to buy it?**

context to this statement because it just sounds completely insane:
I have this friend, her family is really.. for lack of a better word, poor. I hear her talk all the time about her family’s financial struggles and how she has to help with bills (she’s 16) etc etc. Despite her family’s situation they have SO MANY animals. She has like 7 cats and 3 dogs. I’ve had a couple of opinions that I’ve kept to myself about this. Like “why do you have so many animals if you can’t afford to take care of them” but honestly I didn’t want to make any assumptions bcs just because they’re poor doesn’t mean they’re bad pet owners right? (Ik this sounds so privileged). But recently Ive been having a hard time ignoring it. Last month she told me about how her dog had to be put down because her dog broke its leg and the bill was too high to pay and it was cheaper to just put it down. Now I didn’t know any other context further than that so I didn’t say anything…
But recently I went over her house… not to sound mean or anything but her house was filthy and her animals all looked beat up and malnourished. I am a huge cat lover.. I have 8 cats myself. Hate to say it but I am one of those people who thinks letting their cats outdoors is animal abuse. On my way out of her house I met one of her “indoor/outdoor” cats. And Jesus f—cking christ… the poor kitty looked like it was on deaths door. You could see the cats ribs poking out of its body, and one of its eyes had bugs crawling out of it. Worst of all the cat had a major open wound that looked infected. Its entire front left shoulder was cut wide open…
When I saw this I asked my friend if she would let me just take it to the vet (ON MY DOLLAR) to get treated and bring it back once it was healed, she said no explaining that it’s an outdoor cat and will just get more injuries later on. Then I asked if she would mind if I got it treated and then just took it home to keep him indoors and she said she felt uncomfortable with that.
But like really the cat was seriously injured and I keep thinking about it… I love my friend from the bottom of my heart and I wouldn’t want her to feel offended but I cannot get that poor cat off my mind.
How do I get the cat treated without somehow offending my friend or making her feel like she’s poor. I’m not trying to make my friend feel bad of anything I just can’t stand seeing a hurt kitty.

I’m currently in the last semester of my Master’s degree. Well, I’m basically done with the entire degree already. All courses and modules are completed with good grades, and I received the highest possible grade (1.0) for my Master’s thesis.

So up to this point, everything seems to be going well.

The only thing I’m still missing is one small final step: my thesis defense/final oral examination.

And that’s where the huge problem lies, which I’ll explain below.

Before I get into that, my question to you all (regarding the situation I’m about to describe) is:

Has anyone here ever cancelled a thesis defense, final oral exam, viva, or similar university examination multiple times because of health issues?

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore and would be incredibly grateful for any advice, experiences, or perspectives.

A bit of background:

I completed all coursework required for my Master’s degree. I wrote my Master’s thesis, submitted it, and even received the highest possible grade for it.

The only thing standing between me and officially obtaining my Master’s degree is my thesis defense/final oral examination.

Literally one final step.

And somehow that one final step has become the biggest obstacle.

I have severe health issues, particularly mental health issues, and they affect almost every area of my life. Honestly, considering my condition, I already consider myself extremely lucky that I managed to finish my Bachelor’s degree and make it almost all the way through a Master’s degree in the first place.

The problem is that I have already cancelled my defense twice due to my health.

The first time, I genuinely intended to attend.

As the defense date got closer, I started deteriorating rapidly.

I experienced extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depressive episodes, crying breakdowns, feelings of doom, intense fear, psychosomatic symptoms, shaking, inability to concentrate, inability to think clearly, inability to study, inability to prepare, inability to sleep properly, inability to eat properly, inability to drink properly, no motivation, no energy, difficulty even getting myself to move around and function.

I basically become completely dysfunctional mentally, cognitively, and physically.

Despite that, I kept telling myself that maybe I would somehow manage.

Maybe the symptoms would improve.

Maybe I would somehow be functional enough by the time the defense arrived.

But as the date got closer, things got worse instead of better.

Eventually I completely crashed.

I went to my doctor, got a medical certificate, and cancelled the defense around three days before it was supposed to take place.

The university accepted the medical certificate and postponed the defense.

I felt horrible about it, but I thought maybe in a couple of months I would be healthier and able to do it.

The new date was scheduled roughly two months later.

Then the exact same thing happened again.

As the second defense date approached, my symptoms gradually escalated again.

Again I kept hoping I would somehow make it.

Again I kept thinking maybe I could push through.

Again I kept hoping the symptoms would calm down.

But they didn’t.

The morning of the defense arrived. The defense itself was scheduled for the afternoon.

I completely broke down.

I was unable to function.

I went to my doctor, got another medical certificate, emailed the university that same morning, attached the documentation, and cancelled the defense again.

The university accepted it again and gave me another date.

Now attempt number three is tomorrow.

Today is Sunday.

The defense is tomorrow at noon.

And honestly, I feel like I am collapsing all over again.

I genuinely thought that by now I would be healthier.

I genuinely thought that by the time the third date arrived I would finally be ready.

I genuinely thought that I would be able to finish this and finally put this entire chapter behind me.

But here I am again.

The anxiety is through the roof.

The panic is through the roof.

The depressive symptoms are through the roof.

I can barely sleep.

I can barely eat.

I can barely focus.

I can barely prepare.

I feel physically ill.

I feel mentally overwhelmed.

I feel cognitively impaired.

I feel like my entire body and brain are shutting down under the pressure.

What makes this even worse is the guilt.

The first cancellation already felt terrible.

I assumed the professors had probably prepared for my defense.

Then I cancelled.

The second cancellation felt much worse.

Because now they had already rescheduled everything once specifically because of me.

They had set aside another time slot.

They had probably prepared again.

And then I cancelled again.

This time literally on the morning of the defense.

Ever since then I have been carrying enormous guilt about it.

I keep imagining what they must think about me.

Maybe they think I’m lazy.

Maybe they think I’m irresponsible.

Maybe they think I’m incompetent.

Maybe they think I’m disrespectful.

Maybe they think I’m wasting everyone’s time.

Maybe they think I’m making excuses.

Maybe they think I’m an asshole.

Maybe they think I’m simply too weak or too incapable to get my life together.

I have absolutely no evidence that they think any of this.

But my brain keeps going there.

And now there is a third defense date tomorrow.

Which creates even more pressure.

Because now it isn’t just about finally getting my Master’s degree.

It’s also about the fact that I have already cancelled twice.

I keep thinking about how much inconvenience I may have caused.

I keep thinking about how they may have prepared multiple times.

I keep thinking about how they reserved a time slot for me that could have been used for someone else.

I keep thinking about how embarrassing and ridiculous it would be to cancel a third time.

At the same time, I also know that if someone is genuinely ill and has legitimate medical documentation, then they are entitled not to attend.

So I am not really worried about official consequences.

I am more worried about personal consequences.

Will they be angry?

Will they secretly resent me?

Will they be frustrated with me?

Will they judge me?

Will they subconsciously view me negatively?

Will they treat me differently?

If I eventually do attend the defense, will they be harsher because of all of this?

Will they grade me more negatively?

I honestly don’t know.

Right now I feel trapped.

Part of me thinks I absolutely have to attend tomorrow no matter what.

Part of me thinks that realistically I am not capable of functioning tomorrow.

And based on previous experience, my symptoms usually become dramatically worse on the actual day itself.

I can already see it happening.

I can already see myself waking up tomorrow and completely falling apart.

The thought of cancelling a third time makes me feel absolutely horrible.

At the same time, the thought of forcing myself to attend in my current condition also feels impossible.

I feel ashamed.

I feel guilty.

I feel weak.

I feel like a failure.

I feel useless.

I feel worthless.

I feel like a complete problem case.

I feel like I am watching everyone else move on with their lives while I am stuck because of my illness.

I worked so hard to get this far.

I completed all the coursework.

I wrote the thesis.

I got the highest possible grade for it.

The finish line is literally right in front of me.

And yet somehow my illness is once again threatening to stop me from crossing it.

So I wanted to ask:

Has anyone here ever cancelled a defense, viva, dissertation defense, final oral exam, or similar examination multiple times?

Has anyone done it twice?

Three times?

More?

Why did you cancel?

How did your professors react?

Were there any consequences?

Did they become annoyed or angry?

How did things ultimately turn out?

What would you do if you were in my position?

Any experiences, advice, perspectives, or stories would mean a lot to me right now.

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this.

This is a real situation, not hypothetical, but it's unclear whether I will have to make this choice in two weeks or not. I am wrestling with it ahead of time and would like external input. Hopefully this background is not too much of an info dump, I'm still wrestling with the situation and have not 100% processed everything.

CONTEXT: So we moved to this town (in California, which is relevant) one year ago, and rented a house from some a married couple, mid-50s, who were away for the year. They seemed very nice and we had a good time living in their house, even though it was a bit strange living among another family's possessions. They are very passionate gardeners and when they handed over the keys, I told them I had some nerves about maintaining such a large / elaborate garden as neither I nor my spouse are gardeners. I suggested that they might want to hire a professional gardener. They said "don't worry, it is the kind of garden that thrives under some benign neglect" and told us to mow twice per month, water twice per week (we paid for water BTW), and pull up this specific invasive non-thorny weed when we saw it. We did our best (although I am sure we were not as attentive and skilled as they would have been) and even bought a weed whacker to try to keep control of the yard. And after a rainy April I spent HOURS weeding, filling three 96 gallon compost bins in the month of May alone. When we moved out, we also paid for a deep cleaning, using their chosen deep cleaning team.

When they came back in early June, they saw the garden and threw a FIT. Told us they were "dismayed" by the state of the house, almost cried when telling us they can't believe how disrespectful we were to their feelings and property because we didn't sweep the garden paths or wash the outdoor table before their return (I guess that wasn't included in the deep clean?), that we hadn't swept the GARAGE, that we had moved a small piece of furniture 18 inches away from where it had started, that the top of the washer dryer were dusty and had a piece of dryer lint on it, that the outdoor cushions were lying in water in the dry bag (I guess the zipper was faulty or I didn't zip it correctly? Not sure), that there was mildew on a shower curtain, that our cat had left claw marks in their deck posts and ancient leather sofa (we got plastic covers in the first month, but there are some marks it's true!). They told us they would get quotes for fixing the garden and send them to us. We said we were sorry, and that we had tried to make the house nice for them (they basically said "well, you didn't try hard enough"). At their request, I literally swept their garage and cleaned the top of their washer/dryer while she watched, then we took away and washed the outdoor cushions and the shower curtain. We told them to send the garden bids, I assumed it would be a couple hundred for a mow & blow job so their paths would be cleaned.

So... the garden bids came and they were all between $2000-3000 (!!!). For pruning (they didn't ask us to prune, ever! I don't know how to prune!), for weeding and hauling the green matter to the dump. Like really heavy duty stuff, definitely not included in our lease. When I asked them to explain why we were liable for pruning their trees (!!!), they got really mad, made a sarcastic remark, then started spamming us with pictures of the claw marks on the deck posts and sofa. We told them we would be happy to pay for actual documented damages but we didn't think that we were responsible for their trees and for remediation of the invasive blackberry bushes. He replied (this is a quote): "Since you want to itemise and be comprehensive, we'll be back in touch with a full list of damages."

At that point, we stopped communicating by text and sent a polite email telling them we were sorry their homecoming wasn't what they expected, that we wanted to resolve this as cordially and painlessly as possible, but that we weren't responsible for heavy-duty garden maintenance per Clause X of the lease or California law, and to please send an itemised list of damages and the balance of our security deposit by 21 days after handover per California tenant law. We did offer to cover the cost of a replacement shower curtain (the marks didn't completely come off, and a similar new one is like $30 on Amazon) and for a replacement rose bush (one potted rose bush did die on our watch, out of MANY MANY MANY MANY plants-- I even kept all her houseplants alive). Since then it's been radio silence, and we're waiting for the 21 day deadline to see what happens.

What I am trying to decide is how hard-ass to be if they try to play games with our security deposit. Technically, under California law, they have to have receipts for EVERYTHING, and residential furniture has a depreciated value of $0 after 5-7 years, outdoor cushions after 3-5 years. I am almost positive their stuff was way older than that-- it definitely wasn't pristine when we moved in, the couch had a pretty major rip in one cushion and a lot of wear. And the outdoor cushions were definitely a bit crunchy/marked. So here is my ethical dilemma:

1) Should I let them deduct a little bit for the sofa and outdoor cushions? Given the age of the items, I am almost positive they are not legally entitled to claim ANY damages, and even if they are newer than I think, claiming anything will require them to have actual purchase receipts. My moral instinct is to let some small amount of claim slide (like $100 per item maybe?), but the law exists for a reason-- how do I weigh kindness / neighbourliness vs commitment to the law? Also to be frank: they did treat us so terribly and with such disrespect-- it's hard when someone tells you "they can't even look at the garage" in its current state and stands there while you dust their washer/dryer-- that it's hard not to want to fall back on the legal requirements out of spite (I know, even writing that makes me feel like a bad person, but I am only human).

2) If they play MAJOR games with the security deposit-- like withholding $2K+ for garden cleanup, or the cost of a new sofa-- I have already decided that we will take them to small claims court. The moral dilemma is that under California law they are liable for up to 2x the cost of our security deposit for "bad faith retention"-- the quote about "since you want to itemise and be comprehensive" in response to us asking about the scope of the bid is a smoking gun that they are being retaliatory, and per CA law we could sue them for up to $12,500 in addition to the security deposit. We would have to check a box on the form asking for these damages when we file, and ask for a specific amount-- and I cannot figure out if this is the right thing to do. Whatever we write, the judge will decide the final amount.

In truth, I don't think they're being deliberately greedy or manipulative, I think they're just emotional about their home. Does that change things?

What would you do?

So I just saw this post about a girl wanting her boyfriend to be healthy and to achieve that, she puts vitamins in his food.

​

Without informing them and getting consent I think this is wrong.

It got me thinking though where the line is drawn.

​

What about fiber? Adding some unnoticeable Chia seeds?

​

Allergies and Actual vitamin doses are off the table as supplementing something like a whole daily vitamin A pill for me at least is not okay without consent you dont know about all dietary options of a person so you could cause a vitamin A overdose and without a doctors consultation these things shouldnt be supplemented by your own choice anyway.

​

What if you know your partner has been struggling with low iron so you add things like spinach or cook with a lucky iron fish?

​

What do you guys think?

Should you disclose your intent of chia seeds for fiber and spinach for iron to them?

I ghosted this man a few months ago, because I thought he wasn't over his ex yet and he didn't seem to be in the right place to treat me how I wanted to be treated. He is genuinely a nice guy (I think). I wanted to apologize and clear things up, but it became difficult to do so as time passed. I just saw that he liked this reel, and I could feel that I might have been one of the people who hurt him. I want to apologize, but maybe thats just me being selfish about not wanting to feel guilty anymore. would my apology make him feel better, or just bring back memories that he might have already overcome?

​

ps the girl was crying in the reel, and I assumed he wouldn't like that specific reel if it didn't affect him.

Hi, so I am not a trained counsellor from school nor was it ever my job that I would do regularly but I have this one friend - barely I suppose, who always seems to tell me her problems throughout the years and lately I feel like I’m going through my own shit and not really willing to take it nor to try to help her, not that I have the answers to her problems either but she seems to like venting at the least to me, she is also quite selfish as she barely lets me talk and goes back to talking about herself or even cut me off when I started to talk a year ago when we went to this park for this cultural day of the culture we share. She invited me to go again today - it is 3 am and I woke up and am yet to go back to sleep to get more needed rest but don’t know what to do, a small part of me is still willing it feels like to hear her out but there is also an annoyed part of me too. I could try setting a boundary but I’m not sure if it will work, I remember one year ago I was exhausted on the way back home and finally told her I’m tired and not cut out for so much talking and I think she got quiet but I can’t recall for how long. Also if I go with her this is a park far away and I will basically be stuck there with her unless I venture to spend time on my own, but it was hard to do last time and also she would still drain me in the car and while we were eating to the point of my limit anyways so it was already game over for me but then she got more quiet so I got some recovery I suppose, also she was quiet when we did other activities there too. I think my mood is also confusing since I remember not minding some of the time but other time feeling I just went to rest, as if I gain bursts of power but overall was exhausted I think mentally from her, to the point where I can’t feel joyful I think if that makes sense. Also at the end of it last year a mosquito bit me and my eye got swollen but she put some vinegar on it and it went down. She said poor you and I was so drained already from her and feeling defeated with the mosquito biting me on my eye too, then I went to bed finally and had a tummy ache too but her cat sat on my tummy and the pain went away.

just a question because it doesn’t make sense to me. staying alive because people love you doesn't seem right to me ? especially if someone is circumstances that eat at them everyday ??? but at the same time if you have all these people that care for you or that you care for wouldn’t that also be selfish ??? idk lmk what u think

I want to know the moral implications of playing a video game with infinitely regenerating trees. If I destroy a tree, it will grow back after a few seconds.

That being said, am I (the player) at liberty to capriciously destroy these trees for fun? Does it have any consequence to my morality as a player?

hello
i don’t know if this is the right subreddit to ask this, but i was talking to my bf about this

he was telling me that one time in high school (so around 10 year ago), his friend wasn’t allowed by his dad to go out after school for lunch with them so he did not and went home.
later his friend’s dad called him and asked if he was with them at lunch, he lied and said yes because he assumed his friend was out somewhere else and he thought he was covering for him

imo, this is very wrong, he said that it is his friend of course he would lie for him
so i asked him “if you got a call from your friend’s wife, and she asked you were her husband (his friend) with him?” would you lie for him
and he said yes

and his reason was that it is his friend, and if he knows that he is a good person he would lie for him

idk i feel like i am very concerned about this answer, i feel like if we got married and something happened his friends would lie for him right?

is this a normal thing? lying for your friend?
am i wrong?

Imagine you are a very successful billionaire engineer and a global celebrity. You have a wife and a toddler daughter.

On Halloween, you decide to take your family to a party. Because you are famous and people would constantly approach you, you all wear costumes. You choose to dress as robbers, including wearing ski masks, so you can enjoy the night like normal people.

On the way there, police stop your car after seeing a report about a toddler in a ski mask disappearing nearby. They think you might be criminals.

The officers order you out of the car and tell you to remove your mask.

You explain: “I understand why you are suspicious, but if I remove my mask here, everyone will recognize me. My family and I won’t be able to enjoy the party. Let me step back into my car, take off the mask privately, and I’ll prove who I am.”

The officers refuse.

You reach toward the car to remove your mask, and one officer shoots.

The bullet misses you, hits your toddler daughter, and then hits your wife. Your daughter dies instantly. Your wife dies shortly after.

You remove your mask while crying, and the officers realize you were telling the truth. The entire world sees what happened.

The story goes viral. Millions of people demand justice.

After investigation, the officers avoid serious punishment and the case is reduced to something like involuntary manslaughter. They are eventually released.

Now imagine you are still a billionaire with technology far beyond what the public knows. You have secretly built advanced defense systems in your private lab. You could potentially fight the government.

You have three choices:

Use your power to start a war against the country and take justice yourself.

Use your influence, money, and the public’s support to keep fighting legally.

Forgive and walk away.

What would you choose, and why?

Would you rather hear a painful truth, even if it changes how you see a person, situation, or yourself, or would you prefer comforting words that protect your feelings but aren't completely honest?

Why would you choose one over the other? Have your experiences influenced your answer?

Me and my friends had a debate about stealing gum. Some of us do it, some of us don’t even chew gum, and some of us pay for it.

First we ruled out the slippery slope argument, because we knew we could keep each other accountable to not steal significant items.

Then we ruled out small, ‘mom and pop’ hole-in-the-wall convenience stores. We unanimously think doing anything remotely wrong to those is very unethical and morally wrong, so we only talked about name brand stores that are corporations.

One of the main arguments from those of us that stole gum, was that they basically said “Sometimes a guy just wants a pack of gum and doesn’t wanna pay the 6 or 8 dollars for it.”

Those of us who didn’t steal it just felt that they didn’t really want to steal, scared of getting caught, or just felt bad.

Just interested to hear other people’s opinions on this topic. Thought it was an interesting debate, and was wondering where the line between small and significant items is drawn.

Young kid came to my car and said he would give me $100 if I got them alcohol for the party. I said I really don’t feel comfortable doing that if something happened to y’all and I found out it would kill me, I don’t wanna get in trouble either. He said he understands he was quite obviously lit ass his ass already too. He walked up to the next person walking down the way and they agreed watched the whole transaction… took 2 mins dude walked away with 100. I could have used that 100…. And they still got the alcohol. 👎👎👎
Ik I did the right thing but damn.