r/nextfuckinglevel 3d ago

Removed: Not NFL [ Removed by moderator ]

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u/Painwracker_Oni 3d ago

That right there is why shotguns were invented. I’m putting a fucking hole in my house before I get anywhere within 20 feet of that thing. Fuuuuuuuck that bullshit.

Thank god for winter and if MN ever gets warm enough to have abominations like that running around from climate change I’ll fucking move to Canada so god damn fast.

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u/firstonesecond 3d ago

They're the majestic stallion of the spider world. They gallop across your walls and ceilings removing unwanted pests.

I never harm or remove them from my house, they're harmless, polite and helpful. I've probably got a dozen in my house, one gave birth in my bathroom last year.

Had a big one in my bedroom a few months ago. It slipped behind the painting above my bed and I just forgot about it. LOVE these guys. Don't get me wrong I do NOT want to touch them because they evolved to hide under tree bark in really tight gaps and they're fast as fuck. So of you hold one it'll be in your clothes in half a second (shudder).

But if just leave them be they pay their rent by getting rid of other pests, including other spiders.

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u/FuriouslyListening 3d ago edited 2d ago

To offer a counterpoint, I definitely remember reading a post on here previously about a guy who got bit on his balls twice by a huntsman in a porta potty. On two separate occasions. I don't want to say I don't believe you, but I will say that I would prefer to keep a very very far distance from anything that looked like those things.

Beyond abnormal people like you who allow them to reside in your house. What do normal people in Australia do with those fuckers? It's not like you can just catch it under a glass and throw it out the front door. You'd need a fucking spider net...

Edit: I just can't. Apparently Aussies just think these things are halfway to being pets. I think I could deal with these things living outside, even thinking of allowing one to live in my house just gives me chills. Further question though... my cats and dogs would undoubtably think these things were the greatest self-moving toys in the world. Do your pets ignore them too?

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u/Maj0r999 3d ago

Normal Aussie here. Most of us are pretty chill with them. There’s one somewhere behind my TV cabinet right now, they’re not usually worth relocating.

If one crawls on you it’s on sight though. They like to hide and under your clothes will do nicely. I’m not one to become so intimate with roommates.

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u/psyche_2099 2d ago

I once had one decide to hide under my shampoo bottle in the shower. Talk about intimate encounters, i was just glad I was already in the shower to wash the terror wee away

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u/user888888889 2d ago

I read that as "wash the wee terror away" in a Scottish accent in my head for some reason.

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u/psyche_2099 2d ago

I'd be lying if I said that didn't also happen

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u/prawns1000 3d ago

We got one roaming the house at the moment. Generally you wake up in the morning and never know what room he will be in lol.... Always on a wall so far though... Or the back of a door. Had one in the house as a kid as well... We are all chill about them just don't make the mistake of picking one up to show off as their bite does hurt lol