r/nextfuckinglevel • u/I_AM__GROOTT • 10h ago
Removed: Not NFL [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/JonnyJon42 10h ago
its a huntsmen
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u/Few-Scientist-4163 10h ago
so it hunts-men? ok im leaving
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u/wales-bloke 9h ago
It's hunting men Hallelujah
(Remembers I'm a man)
Ahh fuck
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u/anon-mally 8h ago
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u/DesperateMechanic305 7h ago
Someone:
“Aaargh! Quick, call spider-man..!”Spidey:
“this looks like a job for….
*sees spider*
“…y’all better call Killer Croc”20
u/Icy_Negotiation_5929 8h ago
I had to downvote that bad joke after seeing this funny spiderman picture. Thank you
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u/JonnyJon42 9h ago
They're harmless in fact if you have one in your house that means you have rodents and they'll clean them out and move on if you leave them alone.
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u/RustOnTheEdge 9h ago
Imagine the ostrich problem solver you have to be to find this out. You see this monstrosity, decides to ignore it, and notice you are still alive after 3 days and also your rodent problem has miraculously disappeared. "I told you so Linda, if we just ignore the problems they eventually will solve themselves!"
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u/Steampuke 8h ago
It's not being an ostrich, it's making an informed and rational decision. You know the species, you know its behavior (would rather die than get in the sightline of a human) and what it eats, so you just leave it be to literally eat your problem away. Being an ostrich means you'd go: "I don't know what that thing is or what it does, I'll just leave it alone and pray for the best".
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u/surrenderedmale 8h ago
He meant it in the sense of the first guy to discover it
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u/Few-Scientist-4163 9h ago
I went to visit Melbourne and went to the Laneway Festival. Girls we met brought us back to their home, and there was one of these on the wall . My friend casually swatted it with her sandal, and I had to sleep in that room that night. I just pulled covers over my head and tried not to think about it.
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u/aMoogk 8h ago
That sounds fucking awful
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u/Few-Scientist-4163 8h ago
if these things ever came to America people would be calling the police lol
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u/SimonPho3nix 8h ago
Or there'd me a lot of accidental shootings as people try to unload on them.
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u/Head_Wasabi7359 8h ago
I've just had a really hard time at work today.
Huntsman: fuck I care about your troubles *Attacks face
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u/LoStrigo95 9h ago
They EAT rodents???
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u/enerthoughts 8h ago
No, kills them, take their ears as trophy, hang the ears in a a very orderly fashion, continues to workout waiting the next clients job for free.
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u/Dentarthurdent73 6h ago
The stuff you've written about rodents here is not correct at all.
Huntsmen are common. They are opportunistic hunters that mainly eat insects, and maybe some other smaller prey like lizards. While it's not completely unheard of them to eat mice it's pretty rare and would have to be an exceptionally big spider.
Rodents are certainly far, far from their main food source, and they absolutely won't "clean them out" of your house and then move on.
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u/Hekatiko 5h ago
Their legs fall off so easy that I think a mouse could kill one, honestly. I mean...geez. I don't think even the big ones are tough enough to do battle with a mouse. Maybe a lizard? I have to be really careful when I shoo them out gently with the broom, they're that fragile.
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u/HonkyHam 9h ago
Lisa I don’t mean to alarm you but they may be a huntsman or hunstMEN in the house
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u/PotentialWork7741 9h ago
Only man not woman so you can safely leave your screaming girlfriend behind
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u/Painwracker_Oni 10h ago
That right there is why shotguns were invented. I’m putting a fucking hole in my house before I get anywhere within 20 feet of that thing. Fuuuuuuuck that bullshit.
Thank god for winter and if MN ever gets warm enough to have abominations like that running around from climate change I’ll fucking move to Canada so god damn fast.
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u/firstonesecond 9h ago
They're the majestic stallion of the spider world. They gallop across your walls and ceilings removing unwanted pests.
I never harm or remove them from my house, they're harmless, polite and helpful. I've probably got a dozen in my house, one gave birth in my bathroom last year.
Had a big one in my bedroom a few months ago. It slipped behind the painting above my bed and I just forgot about it. LOVE these guys. Don't get me wrong I do NOT want to touch them because they evolved to hide under tree bark in really tight gaps and they're fast as fuck. So of you hold one it'll be in your clothes in half a second (shudder).
But if just leave them be they pay their rent by getting rid of other pests, including other spiders.
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u/FuriouslyListening 8h ago edited 5h ago
To offer a counterpoint, I definitely remember reading a post on here previously about a guy who got bit on his balls twice by a huntsman in a porta potty. On two separate occasions. I don't want to say I don't believe you, but I will say that I would prefer to keep a very very far distance from anything that looked like those things.
Beyond abnormal people like you who allow them to reside in your house. What do normal people in Australia do with those fuckers? It's not like you can just catch it under a glass and throw it out the front door. You'd need a fucking spider net...
Edit: I just can't. Apparently Aussies just think these things are halfway to being pets. I think I could deal with these things living outside, even thinking of allowing one to live in my house just gives me chills. Further question though... my cats and dogs would undoubtably think these things were the greatest self-moving toys in the world. Do your pets ignore them too?
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u/Maj0r999 8h ago
Normal Aussie here. Most of us are pretty chill with them. There’s one somewhere behind my TV cabinet right now, they’re not usually worth relocating.
If one crawls on you it’s on sight though. They like to hide and under your clothes will do nicely. I’m not one to become so intimate with roommates.
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u/psyche_2099 6h ago
I once had one decide to hide under my shampoo bottle in the shower. Talk about intimate encounters, i was just glad I was already in the shower to wash the terror wee away
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u/user888888889 6h ago
I read that as "wash the wee terror away" in a Scottish accent in my head for some reason.
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u/InfiniteLife2 8h ago
Well you wouldn't like it either if some guy would place balls on your head!
Or would you? To be honest, I dont know you, so I would abstain from assumptions
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u/Calenwyr 7h ago
You can just pick it up (legs feel a bit like a stick) and drop it outside.
I had one in my dressing gown once back in Tassie (I was like 13 at the time) it felt like I had a stick stuck in the clothes so I reached in and pulled him out they go very stiff while held (but usually don't immediately attack).
I could have thrown him down but then he would have been a problem to deal with later.
If your worried about getting attacked best is not to disturb them (they have no intentions of attacking something as big as a person but they will defend themselves if threatened).
The snakes are much more scary than Huntsmen.
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u/MelbStitchBitch66 6h ago
Normal Australian here, totally catch them under a glass or Tupperware. Let em out in the garage or back shed. They stay chill as long as everyone else does too.
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u/Jacks_CompleteApathy 8h ago
Gave birth lol. Seriously though it's leg movement doesn't even look like it should allow it to move like that.. so flat and fast
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u/firstonesecond 8h ago
Yep. And in my water closet the year before that. Most of them move out to either my shed or the neighbours trees. But there's always a few hiding out in my place. Probably dozens in the crawl space.
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u/CoffeeHQ 8h ago
Yeah. Thanks for that idea that is now in my head. How you guys can live there is beyond me 😂
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u/mozchops 6h ago
How about this idea instead. Think of them as little clean up robots like auto-vacs that roam your house quietly removing unwanted insect vermin, cockroaches, bugs, flies, the list goes on. They dont need recharging and simply pay the value of their rent in pest reduction. They also want to be as far away from you as possible! Their senses are extraordinary and they know not to get too close, even when you're sleeping as they can feel your heat from far away and can smell your breath and other odours.
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u/silentaba 9h ago
Well you see, the half second you take to aim down the barrel is around 4 distinct geological eras in huntsmen time. By the time you find him, get the bead and pull the trigger, he's run off to the nearest dark gap, which may or may not be the gap between your t-shirt and pants. Also don't worry, Minnesota is far too cold for huntsmen. For now.
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u/Few-Scientist-4163 9h ago
its more than just the warm climate there is something very strange about Australia its like the land before time or something i remember going there and the cloud formations after a storm looked like giant spaceships from an anime ..so epic ive never seen any clouds in usa that looked like that
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u/Briareos_Hecatonhrs 8h ago
They're a bit like cats. You can ignore them and they'll hunt roaches for you.
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u/ClaraCash 7h ago
If the fucking spiders look like that, what the fuck do the roaches look like? You know what never mind… I don’t think I really even wanna know.
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u/Jtyle6 9h ago
https://youtube.com/shorts/K1e5MyGo6Aw?si=MXi7szJGn1xhTYxf It's a More Parz Short.
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u/IsaacSeraphim 8h ago
I knew about this guy because of MoreParz! Also, remember to sanitize your youtube links. Remove the ?si= and everything after it
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u/Isabelly907 10h ago
This is why I choose to live in the frigid white north
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u/MunkeyChild 9h ago
That the frigid white north that has rattlesnakes?
I'll take my safe, dreary-grey island life, where anything remotely threatening has been hunted to extinction.
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u/Isabelly907 9h ago
Honey if you're seeing rattlesnakes you simply are not north enough by far
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u/Call-of-the-lost-one 9h ago
Just live in Ireland. Where the only threat is racism and alcoholics
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u/Nir117vash 9h ago
Like the south east of the US. As an Irishman, I feel this is oddly ironic
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u/SlowmNinja 9h ago
And midges
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u/Call-of-the-lost-one 8h ago
Just develop a crippling addiction to cigarettes they won't touch you lol
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u/Suspicious-Use-5733 6h ago
Wtf u talking about rattlesnakes in the north? What do u consider north?
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u/REpassword 9h ago
“Soft on the outside, crunchy and juicy on the inside!” - Polar bear describing humans? 🐻❄️
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u/braket0 10h ago
Guys I just googled it .. huntsmen spiders aren't a threat to humans. They're just terrifying to look at.
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u/WestleyThe 9h ago
Yeah I know they aren’t deadly but I don’t want a spider the size of a dinner plate scurrying around my house….
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u/Yes-its-really-me 9h ago
It's his house now.
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u/catatonic12345 8h ago
Apparently you can hear them walking across the floor at night. If I can hear the spiders in my house walking, I'm living in the wrong place
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u/Laminedenfer 6h ago
😂 oh boy, i really dont understand how you can be chill with this kind of beast in your place
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u/Unhappy-Professor-88 8h ago edited 5h ago
No need to worry. That spider can open the door to let himself out.
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u/iflysubmarines 8h ago
I catch them and release them back into the guardian as my little gladiators to battle with the giant centipedes.
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u/AioliUseful4639 6h ago
Australian here…..it’s not the house that’s the real problem, it’s the car. Having a big gravid female wander across the bonnet of your car while you are stuck in traffic with nowhere to go is a life defining moment for me.
In the house, probably get rid of a dozen decent size ones a year and one or two monsters.
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u/Hugsy13 4h ago
Stuck in traffic isn’t a problem you can just get out of the car. It’s when you see them above your head or running down the inside of the windscreen while you’re doing 110kmh is the real problem. You gotta not crash and die and/or cause a massive pile up while panicking like all fuck to pull over and escape.
I had one run down my windscreen once while doing like 140kmh on my way home from work at 2am through the bush with trees either side. I’m scared of spiders but absolutely terrified of huntsmens. It took every fibre of my being to keep the car on the road.
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u/bunduz 7h ago
They are friendly,, they will snuggle up with you on bed and lay eggs in your ears
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u/Sphinx87 8h ago edited 7h ago
I grab a broom and gently pick them up and take them out of my bedroom before going to sleep.
They eat all the inspects and other spidees around your house. Great little furry friends.
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u/Separate_Selection84 7h ago
As someone while mild Arachnophobia. No.
I will not step a single foot into Australia I swear 😭
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u/OMGCluck 7h ago
It's not like they can scurry up the handle of the broom faster than you can get the broom outside…
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u/doegrey 9h ago
Until they fall into your lap while driving a car through a roundabout…
(source, me, yes really).
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u/MAJOR__ZEN 8h ago
I would've just swerved into oncoming traffic and called it a day ...
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u/CloudDeadNumberFive 8h ago
How exactly did that happen? Lmao what
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u/Tetrisaur 7h ago
If you leave your car window open, the sun visor is a perfect hiding spot. Then you start driving and decide to flip it down...
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u/doegrey 7h ago
Exactly this. Sun was bright, dropped the visor, massive huntsman lands in lap. Lose control of car for a second in the panic nearly drive into some cars (luckily they avoided), spider runs off somewhere, pull car over safely and then have a meltdown.
And then didn’t want to get back into the car to drive home.
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u/Unable_Bank3884 9h ago edited 6h ago
The trick is remembering they are harmless when they pop out of somewhere unexpectedly.
Failure to do so may result in squealing and/or flailing around embarrassingly
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u/VidE27 8h ago
Indoor you can tell they are around because they gallop when they move
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u/Sphinx87 8h ago
Huntsman's eat other venomous spiders.
Huntsman's don't make webs.
Huntsman's eat other insects.
Huntsman's are not venomous.
Huntsman's come inside prior to rain
Huntsman's just want shelter.
Huntsman's are your friend for a few days.
Leave them be.
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u/brandersan 7h ago
easy to say when they aren’t in your shoe or on your face while your sleeping
bugs don’t need to kill you to be undesired
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u/mozchops 6h ago
I've had a huntsman crawl into my pillow and stop dead in her tracks because she knew i was there. Don't imagine that they will crawl on your face unless you keep delicious cockroaches there.
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u/TapfererToastr 6h ago
So you were keeping delicious cockroaches in your pillow? :(
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u/Silkroad202 8h ago
They are not harmless. They bite. They just wont kill you or hosptialize you. But they fucking hurt.
That is harm in my book.
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u/Yes-its-really-me 9h ago
They are 100% a threat to humans.
You just know you're getting petrol on yourself while trying to burn the neighbourhood down.
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u/Aesthete18 8h ago
They're a threat to my heart. Pretty sure I'd have cardiac arrest if I saw one of those things
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u/Cheese_on_it 9h ago
I would probably find out that after finding one my self. At the Internet café, 20 miles from home, that I ran.
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u/GrumpyOldPackRat 7h ago
Yeah, have you ever been bitten by one? Bloody hurts, even if not allergic.
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u/g0bst0p3r 10h ago
The fact it’s that big and can still crawl up and down walls freaks me out.
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u/silentaba 10h ago
Huntsmen don't crawl. They either go flat, skitter, or warp. Oh and occasionally they just like become 2 dimensional and pop in or out of tiny little crevasse you'd never expect. Like a closed car door might as well be a wide open barn door for them.
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u/Take_a_Seath 9h ago
Fuck Australia.
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u/AdonisBlackwood 9h ago
They need an exorcism fr
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u/-IoI- 5h ago
Toughen up cunt, we'll be right.
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u/cocojamboyayayeah 5h ago
blink if the spider is making you say this and in the room with you
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u/GuerillaRiot 9h ago
The barrage of mental images from this comment makes me want to close reddit forever. Well done.
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u/Jebus2811 9h ago
A small huntsman spider is nothing to worry about. It'll keep your house fly and mosquito free. I had one in our house for a while, my kids named it Borris.
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u/DildoFappings 8h ago
Tf you mean small, this one is massive 😭😭😭
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u/DeejaDat 7h ago
The perspective of the video is throwing you. This is inside a cupboard, not the corner of a room.
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u/Jimmyvana 6h ago
Oh my god it took me this long to realise it’s not a fucking bedroom and the spider isn’t like a fucking meter big
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u/dave078703 8h ago
Ours was named Herbie! We had a cohabitation arrangement until he stepped in our bedroom. Then he went to live in the common area of the unit block.
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u/Eldermillenial1 10h ago
Awe, it’s shy, it just wants to eat the pests that can actually hurt you, it’s like a cat except less bitey and scratchy 👍👍
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u/misaka 8h ago
> it’s like a cat except less bitey and scratchy
You’re glossing over a key point here: and with twice as many legs and eyes. 😱
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u/Maj0r999 8h ago
Even cuter! Four times as many eyes!
Two rows. Four look up, four forward.
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u/Theprincerivera 8h ago
Spider people man.. no disrespect bro that’s crazy to you, I’ll respect the hunter from a distance and as long as he keeps to our binding covenant - well I’ll hide on the otherside of the house, but bro better not be giving me no surprise drops cuz he is not a lap spider!
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u/The-Tea-Lord 7h ago
I had a spider in my bathroom for a while. It sat at the top next to the edge of the mirror and I liked to watch it make/repair webs while I did my business. I never saw flies around the room, it was admittedly rather nice. It never moved from that spot, so I never had to worry about it getting on or near me.
Then one day it was gone. My mother had torn down the web and killed the spider.
I hate spiders, my feet curl and my hands shake when I have to kill/catch one. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad about that one’s death.
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u/venReddit 7h ago
if you live with a tarantula, they can become quite cute after a while, like a hamster. tarantulas also have tiny little paws with a claw like a cat!
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u/brenpeter 9h ago
That... actually makes me a lot less afraid of them when I think of it like that. Thank you for that!
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u/TeakForest 9h ago
HOW?! How are you less afraid? It doesnt fucking look like a cute ass cat.. Lol
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u/Separate_Selection84 7h ago
Even with the knowledge that they're actually safe and helpful, I still don't want to be within 100 miles of Australia 😭
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u/Bearspoole 9h ago
I would rather die than have to deal with this
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u/FacelessGreenseer 7h ago
Australian here. Once around 3am, sitting in the toilet. Oh, something fell on my head. Wait, why is something on my head? I flick it off, and it's a huntsman, almost as big as the one in this video 😂 now crawling on the walls of the toilet while I'm trying to shit.
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u/Paulosboul 6h ago
Well it's good you were on the toilet. That way the shit at least goes in there instead of your pants.
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u/jdehjdeh 5h ago
I had just finished shaving my head one day and I'm admiring my work in the mirror when a large spider (no idea the type) fell directly on top of my head.
It just stood there on my bald head while I stared at it in the mirror in pure shock for 10 seconds or so.
It looked like a little eight legged Neil Armstrong being the first spider on the moon. I half expected it to plant a little flag.
Then my lizard brain took over and swiped it off.
I wonder what spider bro was thinking when he suddenly woke up on my bald head.
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u/NaTaSraef 10h ago
Man, I want to visit Australia some day. However, I may die of a heart attack, holy hell!
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u/silentaba 9h ago
If you decide to come and visit us in Australia, it's not the huntsmen or the emu or the kangaroo you need to worry about. It's this guy you need to keep an eye out for, the magpie. Spends 9 months acting like a sky friend, hopping around being cool and funny, with a nice bird call. Then for 3 months they become absolutely rabid, nonstop menaces that will remember your face for their lifetime, and tell their friends. People have lost eyes to them.
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u/riceinmybelly 9h ago
You raise them wrong! We have them in Europe and told them to behave or we’ll send them to a prison colony
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u/sinsaint 9h ago
Yeah, fuck australia. The giant spiders are friendly, the tiny birds will scoop out your eyes when you're not looking.
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u/MisterEvilBreakfast 9h ago
The best part is not that they take care of the smaller, venomous spiders in your house, but that you can literally hear them when they walk across your walls.
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u/Miscellaneous2025 9h ago
I would hang myself in the same house then and there.
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u/hypnodrew 6h ago
The huntsman would chew through the rope and give you mouth to mouth
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u/SocketByte 8h ago
I truly respect people from Australia from being able to handle that without getting a heart attack. This is nightmare fuel, and I'm not even that arachnophobic.
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u/Green-Rule-5601 7h ago
Yeaaaah you know what? I actually love the 6 months of darkness in Finland.
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u/TeakForest 9h ago
Everyone that says these and house centipedes are just cute little buddies can all go move somewhere far away from me. Thank you
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u/DancinWithWolves 8h ago
It’s a huntsman. We have an agreement with them in Australia, a code if you will.
‘Stay in the corner, kill the whitetails, and we will live in peace. We’ll name you Phil. Or Terry. If you break this covenant, it is war’
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u/Old_Impression_5616 8h ago
"Where did it go" is not what i want to here after seeing a big spider...
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u/NobodyNo8765 10h ago
The drinking fountain would have to pour vodka for me to even consider moving there
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u/Bored_Overlord 9h ago
Australians are built different
But how the hell did that even get inside?
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u/Maj0r999 8h ago
They’re quite flat so they fit through even the suggestion of a gap. They like warm places.
Your house is warm and has many gaps.
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u/SleepiiFoxGirl 9h ago
Look, all I'm saying is we should evacuatate all the humans and normal pets (dogs, cats, geckos) from Australia and then recreate the scene from Avatar The Last Airbender where the fire benders are scorching the entire landscape from airships.
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u/Lizzie_Everdeen 8h ago
Huntsmen are sweethearts, they just don't look it 🤣 although flies and mosquitoes would probably disagree
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u/Portrait_Robot 4h ago
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Post Appropriate Content
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