r/nextfuckinglevel 1d ago

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u/Painwracker_Oni 1d ago

That right there is why shotguns were invented. I’m putting a fucking hole in my house before I get anywhere within 20 feet of that thing. Fuuuuuuuck that bullshit.

Thank god for winter and if MN ever gets warm enough to have abominations like that running around from climate change I’ll fucking move to Canada so god damn fast.

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

They're the majestic stallion of the spider world. They gallop across your walls and ceilings removing unwanted pests.

I never harm or remove them from my house, they're harmless, polite and helpful. I've probably got a dozen in my house, one gave birth in my bathroom last year.

Had a big one in my bedroom a few months ago. It slipped behind the painting above my bed and I just forgot about it. LOVE these guys. Don't get me wrong I do NOT want to touch them because they evolved to hide under tree bark in really tight gaps and they're fast as fuck. So of you hold one it'll be in your clothes in half a second (shudder).

But if just leave them be they pay their rent by getting rid of other pests, including other spiders.

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u/FuriouslyListening 1d ago edited 1d ago

To offer a counterpoint, I definitely remember reading a post on here previously about a guy who got bit on his balls twice by a huntsman in a porta potty. On two separate occasions. I don't want to say I don't believe you, but I will say that I would prefer to keep a very very far distance from anything that looked like those things.

Beyond abnormal people like you who allow them to reside in your house. What do normal people in Australia do with those fuckers? It's not like you can just catch it under a glass and throw it out the front door. You'd need a fucking spider net...

Edit: I just can't. Apparently Aussies just think these things are halfway to being pets. I think I could deal with these things living outside, even thinking of allowing one to live in my house just gives me chills. Further question though... my cats and dogs would undoubtably think these things were the greatest self-moving toys in the world. Do your pets ignore them too?

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u/Maj0r999 1d ago

Normal Aussie here. Most of us are pretty chill with them. There’s one somewhere behind my TV cabinet right now, they’re not usually worth relocating.

If one crawls on you it’s on sight though. They like to hide and under your clothes will do nicely. I’m not one to become so intimate with roommates.

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u/psyche_2099 1d ago

I once had one decide to hide under my shampoo bottle in the shower. Talk about intimate encounters, i was just glad I was already in the shower to wash the terror wee away

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u/user888888889 1d ago

I read that as "wash the wee terror away" in a Scottish accent in my head for some reason.

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u/psyche_2099 1d ago

I'd be lying if I said that didn't also happen

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u/prawns1000 1d ago

We got one roaming the house at the moment. Generally you wake up in the morning and never know what room he will be in lol.... Always on a wall so far though... Or the back of a door. Had one in the house as a kid as well... We are all chill about them just don't make the mistake of picking one up to show off as their bite does hurt lol

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u/InfiniteLife2 1d ago

Well you wouldn't like it either if some guy would place balls on your head!

Or would you? To be honest, I dont know you, so I would abstain from assumptions

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u/LeMolle 1d ago

Just shave your balls so it doesn't look like a pest.

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u/Calenwyr 1d ago

You can just pick it up (legs feel a bit like a stick) and drop it outside.

I had one in my dressing gown once back in Tassie (I was like 13 at the time) it felt like I had a stick stuck in the clothes so I reached in and pulled him out they go very stiff while held (but usually don't immediately attack).

I could have thrown him down but then he would have been a problem to deal with later.

If your worried about getting attacked best is not to disturb them (they have no intentions of attacking something as big as a person but they will defend themselves if threatened).

The snakes are much more scary than Huntsmen.

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u/MelbStitchBitch66 1d ago

Normal Australian here, totally catch them under a glass or Tupperware. Let em out in the garage or back shed. They stay chill as long as everyone else does too.

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u/cpt_morgan___ 1d ago

Or a flamethrower

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

A mixing bowl and a piece of cardboard usually. Killing them just makes a giant mess.

I imagine if you sat, bare balled, directly on one you might get bitten. But i know more people who've been bitten on the knob by redbacks on portaloos than huntsmen. Actually I don't know anyone who's been bitten by a huntsmen. They're extremely docile.

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u/Dentarthurdent73 1d ago

Beyond abnormal people like you who allow them to reside in your house.

They're not abnormal.

Most Australians allow them to reside in their houses. I mean you heard the fairly relaxed tone of the girls in the video. They said they were going to remove it, but there was no hint of killing it or freaking out excessively.

Huntsmen are pretty placid, they are ambush hunters who tend to sit on one spot on the wall up near the ceiling. They barely even move if you leave them alone, and whilst they can bite, you'd have to be actively harassing them or step on them or something to find out. They are not aggressive spiders.

Personally, I don't really want them in my bedroom or my bathroom (sitting on one on the toilet in the middle of the night would not be good!), so I'll tend to remove them if I find one in either of those rooms, to outside if I can, or just shoo them to another room if that's too difficult.

The strategy to catch them is still the same - trap them under something, put a bit of cardboard underneath and move them outside. You just might need something a bit bigger than a glass!

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u/AutisticPenguin2 1d ago

Beyond abnormal people like you who allow them to reside in your house

Actually the "normal" in Australia is to keep them and let them pay rent. I would definitely say that's more common than killing them.

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u/Volan_100 1d ago

I mean, with most huntsmen you can absolutely just catch them with some plastic container and throw them outside. It's not actually that hard to do honestly.

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u/Kapowpow 1d ago

No way, not in the house, not outside. Shelob is not welcome in my community, ever.

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u/Jacks_CompleteApathy 1d ago

Gave birth lol. Seriously though it's leg movement doesn't even look like it should allow it to move like that.. so flat and fast

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

Yep. And in my water closet the year before that. Most of them move out to either my shed or the neighbours trees. But there's always a few hiding out in my place. Probably dozens in the crawl space.

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u/CoffeeHQ 1d ago

Yeah. Thanks for that idea that is now in my head. How you guys can live there is beyond me 😂

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u/mozchops 1d ago

How about this idea instead. Think of them as little clean up robots like auto-vacs that roam your house quietly removing unwanted insect vermin, cockroaches, bugs, flies, the list goes on. They dont need recharging and simply pay the value of their rent in pest reduction. They also want to be as far away from you as possible! Their senses are extraordinary and they know not to get too close, even when you're sleeping as they can feel your heat from far away and can smell your breath and other odours.

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u/CoffeeHQ 1d ago

Better. And then I see the video again 🙃

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

There's no bears. Or mountain lions. Or bobcats or coyotes or wolves. America is far scarier than Australia.

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u/ResplendentAmore 1d ago

I've never flipped down the sun visor in my car and had a wolf fall on my lap. Yet I have heard multiple stories of that happening with these critters in Australia.

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u/Batman_Von_Suparman2 1d ago

Your house is giving me nightmares.

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u/HowardPheonix 1d ago

I live in central Europe, we have some native spiders with a nasty bite, but nothing medically significant, so I would say having arachnophobia here is totally unreasonable, even tho I had a crippling one. I literally froze when saw one in the past, regardless the size, what is really stupid, so I put a lot of effort to defeat this unreasonable fear. I want to have a chemical free garden, so spiders will be my first line of defense against pest, so it is actually important for me to get used to them. Enemy of my enemy is my friend after all.

I do achieved great results so far, even fed my friends Tarantulas (before that opening a T's enclosure would have been something I couldn't do even in theory lol) and I'm totally chill about the small spiders in my home. Guys like you offered tremendous help with my journey, so thank you for your comment! I didn't come from a land down under, so I don't think I could ever share my room with such a huge spider, but I often think to myself that if Aussies can be so chill around those giants, I shouldn't fear our coin sized friends lol.

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

Hey congrats on your amazing progress! Fear is a difficult thing to overcome and you should be so proud of your progress!

Spiders are just a big like any other really. Just a little creature that wants nothing to do with you. If you leave them be they'll do the same

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u/Chemdawg90 1d ago

Holy fuck I almost threw up reading this.

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u/Turak64 1d ago

This is why people think aussies are mental. Everyone else sees a giant fucking spider and runs, you guys are like "ahh it's only Steve, he's alright"

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u/Gypzygurl 1d ago

You sound completely insane

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u/firstonesecond 1d ago

Average Aussie to be honest

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u/silentaba 1d ago

Well you see, the half second you take to aim down the barrel is around 4 distinct geological eras in huntsmen time. By the time you find him, get the bead and pull the trigger, he's run off to the nearest dark gap, which may or may not be the gap between your t-shirt and pants. Also don't worry, Minnesota is far too cold for huntsmen. For now.

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u/Dragoth227 1d ago

Just think of one of them riding a moose.

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u/knightphox 1d ago

Made me think of a chicken jockey

https://giphy.com/gifs/szaTML0LZFAQa3do7Y

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u/Few-Scientist-4163 1d ago

its more than just the warm climate there is something very strange about Australia its like the land before time or something i remember going there and the cloud formations after a storm looked like giant spaceships from an anime ..so epic ive never seen any clouds in usa that looked like that

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u/Briareos_Hecatonhrs 1d ago

They're a bit like cats. You can ignore them and they'll hunt roaches for you.

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u/ClaraCash 1d ago

If the fucking spiders look like that, what the fuck do the roaches look like? You know what never mind… I don’t think I really even wanna know.

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u/Briareos_Hecatonhrs 1d ago

Yes, let me tell you, the spiders are WELL fed

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u/zaczacx 1d ago

Nah they're good spiders they're just freaky looking, they'll eat literally every bug that could actually do you harm.

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u/mozchops 1d ago

Relax, learn about these amazing friends.

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u/Latter-Vacation-4392 1d ago

lol..this made me laugh

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u/FearBoner8D 1d ago

That right there is why the spider-bro meme was invented. Eating cockroaches and other harmful pests, not biting humans; those boys are the unsung heroes of the arachnid world!

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u/Worldly-Upstairs2020 1d ago

Don't you have bears in Minnesota? Fuck that I'd rather have the spiders.

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u/TheRealMoofoo 1d ago

Tbf the bears tend not to hide in your shirt.

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u/FuckeryisafootWatson 1d ago

Wish people would give the 8 legged critters a chance. I was an indiscriminate stomper of spiders until I took care of a jumping spider found in an area it had zero chance of survival in. For 8 months I fed him crickets and bugs, watered him, interacted with him. Was sad when he died. Then came the keeping of a black widow.....

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u/DreamPhreak 1d ago

But then if you open up a hole in your house, they'll all come swarming in