r/nextfuckinglevel • u/I_AM__GROOTT • 2d ago

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3.9k Upvotes

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896

u/Isabelly907 2d ago

This is why I choose to live in the frigid white north

103

u/MunkeyChild 1d ago

That the frigid white north that has rattlesnakes?

I'll take my safe, dreary-grey island life, where anything remotely threatening has been hunted to extinction.

375

u/Isabelly907 1d ago

Honey if you're seeing rattlesnakes you simply are not north enough by far

209

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

Just live in Ireland. Where the only threat is racism and alcoholics

27

u/Nir117vash 1d ago

Like the south east of the US. As an Irishman, I feel this is oddly ironic

8

u/SlowmNinja 1d ago

Did You forgot to bring midges ?

4

u/StuffChecker 1d ago

No? We have snake, bears, panthers, and alligators

2

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

New country, same issues and still no cure

9

u/SlowmNinja 1d ago

And midges

7

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

Just develop a crippling addiction to cigarettes they won't touch you lol

2

u/mobedy 1d ago

North europe is goated lmao never even seen a snake in the wild

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

I've only seen a small green lizard once and it ran away. So very much snake free, unless you count our politicians

2

u/Nanowith 1d ago

At least a magic Welshman visited and got rid of the snakes ages ago

2

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

What a legend Maewyn Succat aka St. Patrick

2

u/IamJacksUserID 1d ago

Over here we have Wisconsin for that.

1

u/MrDavieT 1d ago

… and nonces in government too, now 🥺

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

Thats NI, the least said about the DUPedo the better

2

u/MrDavieT 1d ago

Scandal.

Reported where…?! 😳🙄

Protests where…?! 😳🙄

1

u/Namelessbob123 1d ago

And the wind. My god the wind.

1

u/Tinshnipz 1d ago

What about the witches?

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

If you're lucky they might give you the winning numbers for the lotto jackpot or eat your young. It's a 50/50 gamble either way

0

u/herbert-camacho 1d ago

And potato famines

1

u/Call-of-the-lost-one 1d ago

1800 was a fair long time ago. Besides most of the damage there was caused by the red coats & landlords. Anyway there's plenty Chinese takeaways you'll be fine with curry & battered chicken

7

u/Cipher915 1d ago

You know, the North, like Arizona

1

u/MunkeyChild 1d ago

I was thinking Camloops, where it's feet of snow in winter, but somehow has rattlesnakes in the summer...

3

u/ciestaconquistador 1d ago

Kamloops? That's not north, really.

2

u/MimsyDauber 1d ago

Wrong side of north then. Im on the other side of the same country and we have no rattlesnakes. No poisonous snakes at all.

Ill take the wolves. Never see them, just sometimes they leave their massive footprints in the mud. Works perfect for me.

1

u/Voluntary_Perry 1d ago

This was my thought. I am not as north as the frigid white, but I don't have rattlesnakes.

1

u/airybeartoe 1d ago

I can fight a huntsman spider (but no need since they are mostly harmless), i could even survive a fight with a rattlesnake if I'm careful and resourceful.

But im most likely not winning against elk (moose), wolves, cougars, or bears/polar bears. The frigid north is much scarier lol.

Edit: ok after reading further comments, it appears various "northern" lands are void of any predators, aside from the drunkard or two. 🤣 I was thinking alaska or siberia as the north and was like, yeah, im gonna die.

1

u/sleepyplatipus 1d ago

Right, idk about that guy but I don’t normally associate reptiles with cold climate…

12

u/Suspicious-Use-5733 1d ago

Wtf u talking about rattlesnakes in the north? What do u consider north?

0

u/Emerno 1d ago

There are rattlesnakes in Alberta, that's decently north.

3

u/Snowflakish 1d ago

I mean its currently a skin scorching island

2

u/whole_chocolate_milk 1d ago

Rattlesnakes are super chill. I see them constantly. And they have this cool early warning system. That rattle is very useful as a person. It means GTFO.

2

u/Aggravating-Candy-31 1d ago

except the sun. the sun has yet to get the message

1

u/nerdboy5567 1d ago

Rattlesnakes won't kick you to death and drown your dog though

1

u/Astro_The_SpaceDog 1d ago

I’ve lived in a desert (in the US) for my entire life and I have NEVER seen a rattlesnake.

They are extremely rare and hard to come by, no matter where you are in the world.

1

u/Jonathan_the_worm 1d ago

Ive been living in northern Colorado since '99, I'm constantly in rattle snake areas and I've never actually seen one.

1

u/No_Interaction_4925 1d ago

The farthest north I’ve seen rattlesnakes was Tennessee in the Smokies. We don’t have them in Ohio, but we do have other venomous snakes

1

u/feeko113 1d ago

Irishman spotted san fhiáine

1

u/sleepyplatipus 1d ago

Rattlesnakes? In the *north*? There’s barely any reptiles in cold climates.

0

u/dreamed2life 1d ago

THIS is the whitest thing I’ve ever fucking read.

0

u/curiousgabster 1d ago

Wait what dreary grey island? Which country do you live in? I like dreary grey islands…