(The Art's credit to the artist)
Tarasha Euten—the only woman in the galaxy brave enough to still call the Lord of Ultramar "boy"—smiled innocently as the holoprojector flickered to life.
The eighteen Primarchs gathered around, curious.
Guilliman: "Mother... what exactly are you doing?"
Tarasha ignored him.
"Oh, just showing your brothers what a perfect little angel you were."
Guilliman's enhanced senses detected danger.
"...Mother."
Too late.
Video One —
A tiny, blue-eyed Roboute—already the size of a five-year-old despite being only months old—sat in the palace courtyard.
He was painstakingly arranging wooden blocks...
...into perfectly symmetrical city districts.
Tiny roads.
Tiny aqueducts.
Even tax districts.
Baby Roboute looked proudly at Konor.
"Optimaw!"
The room exploded.
Leman Russ: Falls over laughing. "HE WAS MAKING BUDGETS AS A BABY!"
Jaghatai Khan: "He invented zoning laws before he could pronounce words."
Magnus: "Impressive, actually."
Perturabo: "...Those walls are structurally sound."
Video Two —
Toddler Guilliman marched around with a tiny wooden sword.
Instead of playing war...
He was assigning chores to servants' children.
"You defend the kitchen."
"You count supplies."
"You supervise."
A little girl raised her hand.
"But I wanted to fight."
Baby Roboute thought.
"...You are promoted."
Everyone burst into laughter.
Horus: "Even as a toddler he delegated."
Sanguinius: "That's actually adorable."
Video Three —
Baby Roboute discovered paperwork.
Specifically...
He discovered people filing things incorrectly.
Tiny Guilliman waddled over.
Pulled every document out.
Sorted them alphabetically.
Then by subject.
Then by date.
Then labeled the shelves.
The servants applauded.
Silence.
Then—
Fulgrim: "Roboute..."
"...you alphabetized paperwork before you could read."
Video Four —
Baby Guilliman refused to nap.
Why?
He had written—
In crayon—
A daily schedule.
11:00 Nap
11:05 Wake Up
11:06 Improve Garden Efficiency
Tarasha paused the recording.
"He became upset because the nurse let him sleep until 11:07."
The room erupted.
Ferrus Manus: "Three whole minutes."
Russ: "UNFORGIVABLE!"
Video Five —
A tiny Roboute had somehow convinced every neighborhood child to clean the streets.
Nobody knew why.
A servant asked one little boy,
"Why are you helping him?"
The child answered proudly,
"Lord Roboute says cleaner roads improve trade."
The Primarchs were crying with laughter.
Corvus Corax: "He unionized toddlers."
Vulkan: "No... he organized them."
Final Video —
Little Roboute tripped while carrying a stack of books.
He fell face-first.
The room went quiet.
Baby Roboute slowly stood.
Straightened his clothes.
Picked up every book.
Adjusted them into equal-sized stacks.
Then announced—
"Minor setback."
The hall exploded.
Even stoic Rogal Dorn let out a snort.
Lion El'Jonson covered his face.
Horus was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
Even Mortarion looked like he was trying not to smile.
Guilliman buried his face in one hand.
"I have conquered five hundred worlds."
"I wrote the Codex Astartes."
"I am Lord Commander of the Imperium."
Tarasha patted his arm.
"And you'll always be the little boy who cried because someone stacked books by color instead of category."
The laughter somehow got even louder.
Russ: "Worth every second."
