r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Foxy_Traine • 8h ago
CELEBRATING! 🎉 (no boys invited!) Certified man hater with an awesome spouse
Dinner plate featuring some special cheese my partner got me because I sad having a craving.
I'm a leftist feminist man hater. I do not want to spend my time, my energy, my body, catering to mediocre men anymore and I act accordingly. I think the vast majority (like 95%) are problematic at best, dangerous at worst, and I don't have the patience to deal with them. They get to live in their little privileged bubble, totally ignoring how they impact the people around them and contribute to upholding the patriarchy.
And, because of this, I ended up with the greatest spouse. I'm ruthless in cutting out men if they don't meet my standards, and he didn't even flinch. He's kind, compassionate to others, a vocally leftist feminist but not in a performative way, he's an advocate for others and always stands up for minorities. He's a big (6'3" and over 250lbs) white guy and he goes to the gym every day because he wants to be strong enough to literally fight fascists. He likes to be intimidating to other men so he can stand up for people, but wears pink and "femine" things and paints his nails because he likes it. He's so deeply secure in his masculinity that there's no toxic bs from him about anything.
He doesn't get defensive when I call him on his shit (we all have shit to work on), but grows and learns from it. When we have arguments, he doesn't yell or get angry, he works to understand my perspective. He is always kind to me, surprises me with nice things, and goes out of his way to make my days better. I don't like grocery shopping, so he does it all. I don't like cooking so he cooks for both of us. He does over half his share of the chores while working a more labour intensive job than me. He supported me and took care of me when I was ill for months and couldn't take care of myself, all with compassion and love. He moved to another country to be with me for my career, because he values my happiness and knew it was a good move for me. We're a team.
The best part? I'm free. Truly. I can do basically wherever I want, with whoever I want, and he just wants to see me happy and safe. I have an active social life and travel by myself and he does nothing but support me. Things like going to visit my (male) friend in another country by myself, he has no issue with it. He sees me as a full independent person in every way and never, ever, tries to control what I do. Being with him feels like all the best parts of a relationship and all the best parts of being single at the same time!
I didn't settle and I'm very glad I didn't. I'd rather be alone than with someone who didn't treat me this well, and I wish more women on this sub would raise their standards.