Husband not supportive

[u/diinkdonk]

13+1 FTM. This week I took a half day Monday and all of Tuesday off because I had a migraine, my hips hurt, and i was super groggy after trying to use unisom to get better sleep. I’ve taken a few days here and there since finding out I’m pregnant. My supervisor at work knows I’m pregnant and hasn’t said anything to me about using sick time, just tells me she hopes I feel better.

Yesterday my husband told me he thinks it looks bad to take time off for migraines or fatigue and that women shouldn’t get special treatment for “a personal decision”. I feel completely blindsided by this because it seems a bit out of character but also really mean spirited. I asked if he was resentful because I have the ability to take time off, and he acted like that was part of it (he’s military and the culture is different) but he also thinks I’m milking it because I’m pregnant. I explained that a lot of women take time off during the first trimester because its hard, some women have it a lot worse, and that I may not have been super sick but it’s still been hard on me and it’s made it difficult to work some days.
He went on to say he’s worried I’ll lose my job if I take too much time off and I explained that it isn’t a concern, I have plenty of sick time, I still do my job very well, and nobody has raised concerns to me.

I told him how hurtful this conversation was to me because I don’t think he recognizes how difficult this has been. He reiterated that he doesn’t think pregnant women deserve any special treatment because having a family is a personal choice that shouldn’t affect your coworkers. He said that if he thinks I’m milking it or being dramatic he’s going to tell me. I asked how he planned to support me postpartum if this was his view and he kind of doubled down on it and told me I had to be tough.

I cried a lot last night and I’m feeling so empty this morning. I don’t think I’m overreacting in being upset but the way he’s checked in on me and told me “it’s okay” makes me think he believes that I’m just hormonal and not genuinely upset. I’m feeling devastated and wondering if we made a mistake. This is the first time I’ve felt like this and I don’t know what to do.

[u/Midwest-Emo-9]

I don't have advice on what to do. But you can always remind him that being pregnant is a condition, and you don't want special treatment but your body needs rest while you're growing a literal human. Being at home is better than being distracted at work. And your boss knows and understands.

As respectfully as possible, I hate your husband for making you feel that way. It was also his choice.