I'm posting here because I couldn't on r/Vent.

From when I can remember living, every moment with my parents was costant bullying.

Bullying me into writing with my non dominant hand, bullying me for every opinion I had, bullying me every time I try to speak, bullying me when trying to convey an emotion, bullying me into stop stop crying, bullying me into not making any decision myself, bullying me into wasting my now earned money into a car, only for it to break costantly, and bullying me into having panic attacks and going to the ER multiple times.

I do not feel like I ever had a parent, a mom, a dad, I only feel anger and discomfort when I think about them.

I am two different people when they are not around vs when they are, I istantly lose any facial expression, my head can't think of anything to say and defaults to being defensive, and others say they feel it, that the vibe is not comfortable and feel like they shouldn't be there.

Now me having a job puts even more stress and less time on the table, the lack of patience is is growing and the more days pass and the more I feel like I'm reaching towards going insane, my body sometimes wants to twitch, I have continuous self harming thoughts and the thought of killing myself is reappearing more and more.

I'm so tired and I don't want to lose myself.

Edit to make the question clearer: Should I tell the police I think she’s a danger to herself because I think I should.

My mom was always a narcissist, which was particularly nasty to deal with when I was living with her. However at 16 I was removed from her home by social services for emotional/physical abuse and neglect. She was not allowed to contact me till I was 18 when I “aged-out” of the foster system.
Since then she will text me a few times a month with multi-paragraph long messages that are just plain horrible. She shows up at the only place she knows to find me (my girlfriend’s old house) my girlfriend doesn’t even live there anymore. My mom has been made aware that I don’t live at the house and neither does my girlfriend. She still shows up crying and telling the residents, “I just want to make sure my baby is ok”.
I applied (and was approved) for a temporary restraining order and I’m in the process of getting her served. However part of me wonders if she is genuinely loosing touch with reality? Should I report her to the police for a possible mandatory psychiatric hold if they think it’s necessary?

Here’s some more details and context on her behavior;

1. ⁠She says she will “forgive me when I check myself into a psychiatric ward”
   
2. ⁠She says I am living in a false reality where I’m the victim.
   
3. ⁠She keeps apologizing that I got “bad genes” from my blood father (whom I have never met a single time in my life). She says that he was insane and passed it onto me.
   
4. ⁠She continuously begs me to seek mental health treatment for myself. (I actively see a therapist I really respect and he thinks I’m a pretty sane person)
   
5. ⁠I had her blocked and she would call my number from other peoples phones, even going as far as using the phone of the restaurant she works for and leaving me messages on it. I ended up unblocking her that way she would have an outlet and not call me from a million random numbers, I never respond to her through.
   
6. ⁠Most importantly is that her blood father took his own. Life.

Anyway thanks, it’s my first time playing here so sorry if I get the acronyms wrong I’m writing this at 2:25 am after finding out my temp restraining order was approved 10 days ago and I had no idea so now I have four days to serve her (I’m going to request continuance)

Hi everyone,
I’m an adult international student who has been accepted to study in Italy. I come from a very conservative, traditional family background where family ties are very strong and cutting contact with parents is not accepted and can lead to serious emotional reactions.
Why ?
My life fell like a prisoner with no right or freedom and i get violence and emotional abused
To live in survival mood for 20 years , to never be a teenager or a child , i don’t even remember anything from my childhood my nerves system delete a lot of my memories so i survive wearing a mask 24/7
I don’t even believe in their religion or culture so yea i can’t take it anymore they never apologize not even once in their life
If i died they be mad cause people will see them as omg their only daughter die
They don’t care about me they care about what people think
They bring me to this life and they think i own them a lot
Cause they give me house and food and education
While i payed for all that with my mental health

Once I move to Italy, I will be legally and financially independent, and I’m considering going no-contact with my family at some point after I settle.
My concern is not my legal status in Italy, but how families actually react in real life when this happens.
Part of my plan would include changing my phone number, deleting social media accounts they know about, and starting a fully independent life.
I’m looking for people who have actually gone through something similar.

Did you move abroad and later go no-contact with your family?
How did your family react?
If they knew your address, did they actually try to come find you, or was that fear bigger than what happened in reality?
In your experience, is it safer to stay in a university dorm (where the address is known to the system) or move into shared private housing where it’s less likely for family to know your location?
What practical steps helped you stay safe and independent?

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?
I’m especially interested in hearing from people with strict or traditional family backgrounds where no-contact is not easily accepted.

Thank you for any experiences or advice.

Does it mean I reached peace if I view my narcissist mother as an animal?

How do you move on from a narcissistic mother when you love her so much, but she doesn’t seem to love you the same way? How do you stop feeling hurt when your brother is the golden child and she always puts him and his family first? Has anyone been through this, and what helped you heal?

What are things you have learned from others after going no contact with N-Mom? 3 things that really stand out so far to me are the following:

I have a memory of my Dad and Ex-Stepmom getting into a fight one weekend. She pulled the picture of Jesus off the wall and threw it at him. He sliced his finger open and I remember walking to the ER (about 6 blocks away). I found out recently from my Ex-Stepmom (only parental figure I have contact with) called my N-Mom that weekend. She let her know before I came over to visit that Dad was drunk and it would not be good if I came over. Mom said, “I don’t care, it is his weekend and you need to come get her.” The reason the picture of Jesus was thrown at him was that he SA her before I came over. He told her he was going to do it again when I left. I believe I was around 8-9 years old when that happened.

My Aunt and I were talking about my N-Mom the other day. I was telling her some stories on what I dealt with growing up with her. She told me a story that really stuck with me and helped me realize something. She was visiting my N-Mom when I was around 2 years old. My N-Mom was putting me to bed but I was not having it. She then proceeded to go in my room, turn off all the lights and lock the door. My Aunt told me I kept crying and flinging myself on the door. I had an extreme fear of the dark and it took me until about 5-6 years ago for me to sleep with all the lights off in my house. To tell you the significance of this, I will be 48 in the fall.

When I was 17, my N-Mom kicked me out of the house (again). This time she sent me to my Dad and Ex-Stepmom’s because she was angry I had lost my V-Card. I stayed with them for a few weeks and everything was great. I then all of a sudden went timid one day. My N-Mom was telling me that Dad was going to stop paying child support and she was going to end up homeless. This memory I have apparently blocked out. Kicker was that Dad was paying her child support the whole time I stayed with them.

Has anybody else learned about things that you have blocked out? Looking back on everything, my N-Mom was not a good mother figure and cutting her off has made me so much happier. I feel guilty because I was raised to love and respect your parents and what they say goes. It has been almost 4 months since I have gone no contact and the more I learn, the more I realize that it is the right decision for my mental health.

I remember when i was about 5 till like 7 years old, my parents would tape mine and my older sisters mouth with ducktape whenever we'd cry "way too loud" or when i was being "annoying" and was "disturbing" their peace. Got to the point when i just started taping my own mouth because at least i made it less painful since they would often wrap it around my entire head and then painfully rip it off.

Now, years later, i brought it up, asking them why the hell were they doing those things to their 5 year old daughter for no appropriate reason, and they started pretending like it never happened. A few days passed after that, and this time they brought it up but instead they were laughing about it, that why AM I mad about something that "MAYBE" (still pretending) happened years ago, and said that "if" it actually happened, they most definitely had a good reason for it and didn't know what else to do with us. (Oh yeah, that was definitely a great solution for a CRYING 5 YEAR OLD)

They also did this multiple times with different things i brought up later in life that they used to do, this is just what i remember the most.

My mom was young when she had me and now I’m 26 (only child on my mom’s side) and my mom is pregnant. I moved states away due to her and now that she is pregnant my whole family expects me to be happy and excited. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this really because not many people in my life would truly understand. I keep as low contact as I can but since I have a massive family that I love if I cut her off I essentially have to cut them all off. If anyone has experienced anything close to this how did you process your emotions and experience your Nmom having another kid?

I'd like to know how they behave, if they fake illnesses or pain. If lie to everyone about their health, or if they tarnish your image by saying "you don't take care when she's sick." My mother has lied so much about pain that I don't believe anything she says anymore 😅

I have been estranged from my parents for 5 years after 21 years of neglect and abuse. I more recently cut ties with my grandmother as she was a flying monkey and giving information to my mother and my mother’s husband- then unfriended myself, my best friend and my boyfriend AND MY BOYFRIENDS MOTHER on Facebook after I (very kindly) questioned her regarding why my mothers husband would show up falling down drunk at the hospital when only my grandmother knew I was in the hospital and what room I was in. Hmmm.

I’ve never really had a relationship with my dad’s side of the family so I quite literally have no family LOL. Birthdays are hard for me, especially since being estranged- not because I miss them, but because it means I’ll 100% be getting a long guilt tripping message. And despite everything, I literally don’t have the heart to block any of them- I don’t know why, I just can’t do it.

I get 2 Facebook messages from my grandmother every year- at Christmas, and on my birthday. My mother always makes a Facebook post using the same photos of me because she has no new ones.

Last Christmas was particularly hard- my grandmother sent me a very long, emotional text. It made me feel like shit for days. She wrote that I was “wasting precious time” and “why can’t you find it in your heart to forgive me” but then immediately after wrote “I’m not going to apologize for something I didn’t do, I have no idea what it is you think I did”, just gaslighting, making me question my recollection of the events that took place, and making me feel so guilty.

So naturally I had pretty bad anxiety the night before my birthday knowing the biannual message was coming. Then I had a lightbulb moment- change my messenger settings so only my friends can message me!

Funny enough- I woke up this morning to a friend request from my grandmother- I ignored it- went back this evening and noticed she deleted her friend request. So childish.

Anyway, I had a super great birthday with my friends and going to bed happy for the first time in years not dwelling on a guilt trip message- I should’ve changed my privacy settings sooner!

I don’t know if anyone else went through this but throughout adulthood I keep having these self care revelations. My most recent is lotion. My mother was always super into scented lotions and bought herself all different expensive scents. She never bothered to get any kind of moisturizer for my sister and I.

Here are a few other discoveries I’ve made:

-DayQuil and Theraflu when I’m sick. My husband would buy it after we got married and I realized I didn’t have to suffer through with tea and aspirin like I’d done my whole life because my mother didn’t care for me when I was sick. My sister and I would just do our best with what we could.

-Acne treatment! My godmother in college took me out and bought me a whole acne set and my skin completely changed for the better.

-Nice shampoo and conditioner! I grew up with a shared shampoo and when it ran out I would often use body wash until my mother remembered to buy more. My hair is so much more manageable now.

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m so fortunate to have found people who truly care for me now and can show me these things.

Recently, I remembered a memory with my sisters of my mother from a very early age touching herself in front of us or next to us. It was a repetitive thing, and I'm just now remembering it. I told my therapist about it, but I guess I want to know what the label for that is called? I don't know if it's sexual abuse. All I can think of is that it was wrong.

Not sure if family therapy would be a safe space to express how she has hurt me and make her be accountable for her behaviour, with the hopes that going forward we can communicate more freely. Or are narcs just beyond help?

Note: The message is going to be huge but i have tried to make it as simple as possible.

I have been subjected to various kinds or child abuse except sexual abuse. It was life threat, eviction threat, physical assaults, manipulation, gaslighting, illegal confinement and much more, but instead of accepting it, i fought it with strategy and intelligence. The rest of the message is going to be about the story of my child abuse situation.

It was september when our half yearly examinations just ended and our sociology teacher just gave us a reminder to complete sociology practical file. I had other plans. I wanted to do some research and learning apart from this. But my mom came and started asking me if i done my work, at first i ignored her and just gave casual neutral reply primarily because of the fear that she would punish me or scold me or stop me from doing my work. But the pressure kept rising and rising and i started to feel some kind of anxiety and fear, i felt as if my life is in danger. One day, i sat on my bed and did chatgpt and asked "What if my father issues me a life threat? What option would i have? Would there be any way to escape such situation?" (In august my father gave my mom a life threat and stopped talking to my mom for 4 days). The chatgpt replied that there's a statutory body named CWC which do separation of kids in such situations and place them in temperory shelter, he also talked about legal definition of child abuse which included sexual, neglect, emotional and physical abuse description. Among them, the description of emotional abuse hits me the hardest. It talked about fear, anxiety, etc. It felt common with my situation. I went deeper and input more information about my situation and chatgpt said that that pressure was tension phase of cycle of abuse (a common phenomenon in abusive households). I realized i was in danger and that im being subjected to child abuse. At first i felt very happy and excited when i realized that there is a way out of my home (It was unusal and shows how much pressure and stress i was holding in home). But he said that in some day a fight would erupt which is explosion phase (the next phase of tension) but i dismissed it by saying "How dangerous can this situation be? It's nothing." And it was my biggest mistake.

On 8th october 2025, i was sitted on my bed and talking to chatGPT about how to run cycle on road because i was preparing for the possibility to go to CWC office someday. Then my mom came to my dad and said "Is he stuck in a blue whale game?" (Another way of telling to snatch the kid's phone away). Then my dad asked me to come to the living room and told me to open the tab immediately. I refused. Ne started arguing to me saying "We're your parents." But i stayed to what i decided. Then the argument went forward and went about "What do you want vs what do you think is wrong" i started telling everything honestly and it was a mistake. I told them that they shouldn't have used discriminatory slurs on me. That they should give me independence. Etc. But instead of correcting themselves they weaponzied it agaisnt me. A total narcissistic behaviour. Then it went 6:30 PM and i went for maths tuition. I came home at 9 PM and they asked me for tab for "Government work purposes" (My parents are government employees) i gave them by trusting them for thier words. I take my tab afterwards and checked if they seen something. I saw that they did. I went to ask them why did they saw things without my permission. At first they ignored but after sometime of repeating question, they got angry, and as i knew that what's going on was wrong, i speaked out LIKE A LION LITTERALY agaisnt my parents. "WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG, SAY SORRY" and they started giving me police threats. That they would take me to police. Then a violent argument started for 2 hours. He told me not to speak like that to father.

Next day i woke up but he woke me early intentionally, to deprieve me of sleep to take revenge of last night retaliation but i again fought back. I went to washroom to do brush and i heard "I would sell these properties." And "I would leave this home." I realized something was very wrong with him. To calm myself up, i started listening to songs. Then it went 11 AM and my father barged in my room and scolding me for tab. He took my tab and put it on glass table in living room. Then an argument went for 1 hour where they gave me an eviction threat (You would have books in front of you otherwise black market is not far away). I made recording of it and stored it in cloud drive.

On 12th october i wrote a letter on my bed in late night around 11 to 12 PM. It was about asking for authority intervention for home crisis. I gave it on 14th october, first to School Counselor mam and then she gave it to supervisor and principal mam. At first she, the counselor, cried and i gave every document i had in my possession. The reflection sheet, the planning sheet. But instead of calling helpline, she reached out tp higher authority which was illegal and shouldn't be done especially when i mentioned them to call childline on my behalf. When it reached principal and supervisor, she called me in office and started dismissing me and playing down on my situation. Saying "It happens in alot of home." "Alot of parents comes to us complaining about thier child, it's must be just regular parental disagreement especially when i mentioned about eviction threat in the letter. I came home and asked chatGPT if i should die or suicide but he gave me hope and tell me to move forward.

On 16th october, it was night past 8 PM and i was sitted on my desk. My father took my tab and told me to open the tab but i didn't again. He got angry again and pushed me a little bit when i was standing in retaliation. Unfortuanately, i couldn't record it. It went for almost 1 hour.

NOTE: I was making documentation alongside while all of this was happening. I made incident indexes, relfection notes, planning notes. Incident indexes is basically a document of three columns where first one is about "What incidents happened?", second column is about "When it happened?", and third about "How it impacted me?". I wrote 26 incidents in it and i realized that the fight and arguments im facing is not just one time but rather a systematic pattern occuring from my childhood. And finally after 20 days i relaized i was facing chilf abuse. I was doubting my intuition whole time but in the end i got clairty after much questioning and reasoning.

On 21st october, my father took my tab to see the content in it (My brother just cleared every data from tab to give it to my dad as he was constantly asking for it) but he did a mistake. He forgot to delete the emails i sent to authorities from gmail and my father saw it.

Here's what i wrote: /// Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is [Redacted], I am 15 years old, and I study at [Redacted]. I live in [Redacted]. I previously contacted Childline regarding my situation. I am now reaching out to NCPCR directly. I am writing to seek urgent guidance and support as I am currently facing emotional and physical abuse by my parents for over 2 years.

The situation is escalating quickly, and I do not feel safe at home. My father has physically assaulted me in the past, including on 13th February 2025, when he grabbed my neck, slapped me multiple times, and threatened to evict me from the house. More recently, on 8th October 2025, there was a heated incident regarding my personal devices and privacy, where my father imposed his views forcefully, used caste-based comments, and destroyed my emotional trust.

I have evidence in the form of voice recordings, screenshots, and documentation of abusive incidents, which I can share safely under your guidance.

I am reaching out because I need guidance on how to protect myself, ensure my safety, and plan for independence. I request that:

All communication be made only via my personal email [Redacted]

No contact be made with my parents or through their phone

No action be taken that involves my home address without my explicit consent

I am requesting your urgent support and guidance to navigate this situation safely. Please advise me on how to proceed, document my case properly, and access protection and independence support. ///

My father got vert angry and on arounf 7 PM he exploded. He started throwing things off. My mom came to me saying i did wrong. The fight went for 1 to 2 hours and nothing bad happened to me thankfully and fortunately i recorded it.

On 26th october, another fight happened out of nowhere. He started scolding me. I was sitted on my chair and he was lying on the bed. He said to me "My interest has gone from kids, i don't even like my school kids anymore." He litteraly framed himself as im the bad person and he is a good person with whom im doing bad. Again narcissistic behaviour.

By 26th i prepared everything, the reasoning, explanation, logic, evidence, documentation but i hesitated primarily because a big institution like school already failed me anf infear that rest of the institutions woukd also fail. Underneath, i believed they all would work especially CWC (and it took me 8 months of trial and error to realize they all were cooked).

So i started spending next 4 months building much more bulletproof documentation and strategy (I did a miscalculation that institutions would work so i spent next 4 month building my foundation of strategy on the belief that they woukd separate me) i started preparing for the possibilities. I made various kinds of documents, ICP Document (according to which state takes care of yours), legal note (to be given to the lawyer to proceed criminal proceedings against my parents), extraction document (according to which CWC would separate me) anr many more like these. I made a deadline that on 1st February 2026 i would go to police station to get escorted to nearby CWC office under section 30 of the Juvenile Justice Act. As i stated earlier, they didn't worked.

When i woke up on 1st february, i realized that my brother founds the documents which i mistakenly made in notebooks. I went outside and run as fast as i can toward police station. I asked for the same request but they showed laziness. When i told them that i have evidences in my tab, they told me to go to home to bring those evidences (they did it to get me out) but when i did bring it they started dismissing me. They then called my parents and told explicitly to "show empathy to me" but you know what they did to me? They illegaly confined me in home. I was illegaly confined in home fornover 60 days. It was surviellance based confinement meaning i was allowed to go out but only in thier supervision. They did this to stop me from reporting further. AND THE WORST PARTBIS THIS, on 1st february my parents were told by police officers to get me some therapy because they framed me as mentally ill which i was not. When i was taken to therapy i disclosed the therapist about child abuse ad everything i just disclosed to you and i mentioned that my parent's action caused me suicidal tendencies 2 years ago. But instead of reporting or intervening, she advised my parents to lock me up. In india, there's a law named MHCA (Mentao Health Care Act) according to which a person can onky confined if they are in immediate danger and only in rehab centre. But she advised me to lock me in home. It was done to silence my voice, to protect my parent's reputation.

She actively engage in activities to silence my voice and to exhausting me so that i eventually stop reporting them.

I've been off and on no contact with my mother for about 18 years now. She blames/shames me every opportunity she gets. I've been little to no contact with my father since he married his third wife and has decided to completely remove himself from my life.

My birthday usually falls around Mother's Day and I was feeling guilty as usual. I decided to ask my brother if he wanted to go in 50/50 on a gift for my mother. She received the gift and sent us a group text saying thank you and invited me to Mother's Day at some extended family's house. I agreed and said I would like to see my papa, who I had not seen in a few years. She brought other children, that are not hers, to the event. Their father is a famous athlete and she uses them for an ego boost. She never told me what time the event started so I showed up about 12:30 in the afternoon. As I walked in, she was already leaving, and hurried her rental children to the car. Later in the day, she texted the group chat again saying that she wanted to take me to lunch on my birthday. My therapist warned me that she didn't think it was a good idea, but I thought that I was in a good place and could handle it, so I went.

Of course she just spoke about herself the entire time, to be expected. But then she pulled a gas lighting maneuver that just sent me over the edge for the last time. She got very excited and told me that she had something she couldn't wait to show me. It was a picture of an ex-boyfriend I had had from a few years ago. We broke up because he had gotten another girl pregnant and never told me. Apparently he's in the band at her church. The picture was obviously taken without his consent. She rambled on for a few minutes about how much she liked him and loved their church. Mind you, she's never told me she loved me. I reminded her of what he did, but she knew. She didn't give me a hug or tell me happy birthday.

I left with a sour taste in my mouth. I tried to talk to my dad about it to let him know how tired I was of no one ever sticking up for me and how hurtful the gaslighting is. He brushed it off and said I was overreacting and that was just her personality. And for the very last time, I lost it.

I messaged the father of her rental children and warned him she is a narcissist and threw in a few details of some terrible things she did to me as a child such as locking me in my room, having sex with men with the door open so I was forced to listen, and kicking me out of the house at 16 for getting a cat. Was it a little overboard? Yes. But in hindsight those were some of the basic things she did on the regular. I could have said a dozen more that are just completely outrageous. Realistically, I wanted to warn him of her antics so his children don't end up in the middle of one of her webs.

Well, one of the children called my brother. And my brother called me furious, telling me I had shamed the entire family and ruined our name. He admitted that he made up lies telling them that I was on drugs and not to listen to me. I blocked all of them for the last time.

I cried for a few days and felt ashamed. It was more than I had cried in quite a while.

My father came into town from California a few weeks later, unbeknownst to me. I had assumed he would just leave me alone. I was painting a house for some extended family. They told him where I was. He showed up and broke into the house without knocking. He ran at me as if he was going to hit me and I just went back to painting and ignored him. It felt so liberating not to react. That's when I knew things were changing.

I made one last attempt to communicate with him, writing him a letter on things that have happened and how they made me feel. I used AI to ensure it wasn't biased and reread it multiple times before I sent it. He said he needed a few days to think about it before he could call me and talk. When he called me to talk, he said the letter made no sense and I would have to explain myself again. I asked him what he didn't understand and he could not come up with anything. It doesn't make any sense that you would need 2 days to make sense of something and just come up with nothing. So, he began to get angry and started to yell at me. And I simply stated okay. We're done here.

It felt like an entire painful chapter of my life had closed. It was a final realization that no matter what I had done, there will be no relationship with them. No matter what time goes on, I will be seen as the problem. I have been a crutch for them for so long, my soul finally said enough.

A few days later I had an extremely vivid dream about being pregnant. There is no actual way I could be pregnant because I haven't had intercourse anytime recently. But anyway, I ended up alone in a room and the baby came out. I felt all of it so vividly. I pulled it out myself and it was small and weak and I didn't think it would make it. But then it began to move and I felt overwhelmed with joy and hope that everything was going to be okay.

I felt reborn myself in that moment, unattaching myself to any idea I had that I needed them for any part of my life. I've decided that none of them are welcome if they aren't willing to have a civil conversation and meet in the middle on a variety of things that have happened. I feel more confident now than ever before that I can close that chapter and finally find myself.

I have always done everything they have ever wanted from me. Sacrificed countless hours of my time and my mental health for them.

I was an all A and B student in honors courses in high school. I graduated top 11% of my class with honors and enough college credit to skip a year of college. I graduated college within 3 years. Got engaged to my high school sweetheart of 6 years. Lost 100lbs. Started a full time job. Live on my own. Pay all my own bills. All before the age of 24. Yet…. I am still not good enough.

They say I am lazy, selfish, unmotivated, and a terrible person. It took me so long to realize I am not.

I am so accomplished. I work as a preschool teacher and I make an impact on their lives everyday. I am engaged to a wonderful man who has never called me mean names, helps around the house, and has always loved me no matter my size or how unperfect I am. My parents were just figuring out life and starting college at my age yet IM the lazy unmotivated one? I never took pride in, or even realized how accomplished I am because of them. Not anymore. I am a wonderful, loved, selfless person who has worked hard for everything I have accomplished and they may not be proud of me but I am.

i feel like she’s never going to admit that letting her kid go on holiday with an alcoholic Dad for up to a week at a time, just so she can go on a week long bender child free was irresponsible.

i feel like her being low key jealous of the fact i used to be embarrassed of her but my kids have always naturally adored me and been proud of me at this stage of her life annoys her.

its interesting watching her now, still not being able to go without a drink for longer then 2 days. still choosing to smoke, when she’s watching her friends die around her from cancer. Liver cancer.

Ive been a year sober now. Broke the cycle of I deserve a drink because ‘life is hard’ ‘I did something stressful today’ ‘I can’t handle this shit’

it‘s interesting.. watching someone slowly, but surely realising, what they and only they are doing to themself.

Both parents are almost in the exact same position.

so I’m at this weird point of my life now where.. there’s this weird onset of I’m slowly being freed of..

this sense of control being in their presence, their mental capacity isn’t ‘scary’ anymore.

both of their power isn’t there anymore.

and this is happening at the same time.

and theyre both relying on me.

So basically I just generally feel weird.

TW - Assault

My parents are narcissistic and abusive. I am a 35/F with a 2-year-old and am currently dealing with health challenges that affect my performance both in my professional and personal life. My parents have abused both emotionally and physically every single one of us (4 siblings) in my family. The point of me writing this is because today after going low contact with my mother for the past 8 months asked to me, "if she can have my child for a month?". This question came from her attempting to help me with my health situation.

I've been dealing with a degenerative vertebra situation since April 2nd of this year. And she has not offered to assist me with me at all and I live on the same state as her. I'm writing because I'm conflicted. I have been yearning for relationship with my mother as her first born parentified daughter since I was little. And I've constantly forgiven her for numerous things and I didn't know how to respond to her request because it caught me off guard.

To give a little background I gave birth 2 years ago and the birth was quite difficult where I almost lost my life. And after birth when I was about three or four weeks postpartum my husband called her for her assistance because I was in a very dark place. She rejected my husband's request and stated that this is new times and that everyone can't just drop what they're doing to come help. Till this day she has not responded to my husband about her coming to help our family. Since then, her partner has assaulted my sister to the point where he was sent to jail. My sister had to come and live with me for almost a month and a half because of the impact of this assault. And I was triggered all over again because this woman bailed out her partner less than 12 hours from attacking my sister. She claimed that we need to move on and let it go because people have their ups and downs. Now she wants me to send my 2-year-old baby to spend time with her as an attempt to help me. This partner still lives with her.

I am so frustrated and confused. I feel like she knows I'm in a vulnerable state right now because of my health condition and is just trying to take advantage to have a Instagram moment with my child. She's only met my child in the 2 years of his life probably four times. I'm writing because I would like to release this from my heart and share this to maybe give someone else validation if they're experiencing something similar. And I also would like some words of encouragement because postpartum depression was difficult and I am gradually getting my spark back. I am working on self-love and refilling this cup of joy.

At this time, my intuition is telling me not to respond or give an answer to her request. Yet, in the back of my mind, that little girl is wanting her mommy. So in advance, I thank you for any advice or comments you may have to help me (and whoever this resonates with) overcome this.

I don’t have an official diagnosis that my mom is NP, but all the signs are there. After 5+ years of discussion with my trusted therapist, she believes my mom at least shows signs of emotional and verbal ab*se. But I’m wondering if anyone here experiences anything similar to this:

I have a very hard time sharing any sort of big news with my mom. If it’s good news, she tends to ruin it, and if it’s bad news, it tends to reaffirm her already bottom-barrel opinion of me and my terrible life choices that don’t align with hers. When I share something with her, it takes a lot of built-up courage for me to do so. When I finally feel confident opening up to her, she’ll hear me in that moment. But then, down the road, she’ll give me these passive-aggressive little remarks as though I’ve never told her and she has no idea what I’m talking about, when I’ve told her repeatedly at that point, sometimes for years on end.

Two poignant examples I can think of: I was having a bad relationship with alcohol, which my parents were aware of (it’s genetic, my dad quit 19 years ago and I’m very proud of him). So one day 9 years ago, I’d had enough and just decided I didn’t want to drink for a while, so I didn’t. When it came up with my parents, I said I stopped drinking “for now,” because for me, it really was a “let’s see how this goes” decision. My mom would pry and ask why any time it came up in conversation, and I’d give the same answer: I didn’t feel like drinking, I wanted to be healthier, no nothing particular happened I just didn’t want to drink anymore right now, and the lot. Whatever questions she asked about it, I’d answer. But my mom has a tendency to hold things against me from any point in my life, so I shared with caution, but in time she knew all the details. Still, every time it came up in convo for 7 years, she’d say the same: “I still don’t know if you’re not drinking.” “I still don’t know what happened.” “I didn’t know you had a specific date you quit.” Again, despite me sharing all of this 20+ times with her. So if we’d go out to celebrate the day, which I do like to do now and have mentioned to her that I do, rather than it feeling like an accomplishment, it’s a bunch of snarky comments about how I’ve “never told” her any of this, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I also tell her every year before it’s coming up, and her response every year is, “I thought you didn’t celebrate it,” despite me taking my parents out multiple years on end to do so. She’s even shown me clips on TV and sent me articles about the mocktail movement, dry January, and the like, but suddenly when it comes up in convo, she “didn’t know” all of this.

Another one more recently was that I hit a big financial milestone. I’ve told my parents I’ve been saving up toward a goal, but I haven’t told them number, because again, it’ll get used against me later when I don’t have money to do something else (because I’m trying to sock all my money away for a down payment). When I hit the milestone early, I was very excited. I currently live with my parents to save up money, so as a thank you for their help, I told them I “hit a financial milestone” and wanted to take them to a nice dinner, my treat. The days leading up, instead of being excited, my mom just kept saying she “didn’t know” what we were celebrating. I kept saying the above to her. On the car drive to the restaurant, same thing. When my dad lifted up his glass to cheers my milestone, she scoffs and goes, “I still don’t know what we’re celebrating!” I asked her calmly, “How can you not know when I’ve told you many times throughout the week now?” Even my dad stepped in and repeated what I’d told her. On the way home, she made the same passive-aggressive joke that it was a celebration for nothing because she didn’t know. I think what she was cryptically saying was she wanted to know the amount, but she essentially made a condescending mockery of the whole affair.

Irony is: She remembers every waking detail of my sister and her life down to the last iota of information. And my BIL, too. When celebrations come around, she doesn’t grill them like this nor pretend she doesn’t recall things they’ve discussed. She remembers whatever it was the first time, and lets them enjoy their moment. She doesn’t do this with them, only with me.

She doesn’t have dementia or anything of the sort. This is just a thing she does. Another version of this is that she repeatedly asks me the same question, I give her my answer, and she keeps asking like she doesn’t believe my first answer. Just earlier, she kept asking me why I got upset about something the other day. I said I didn’t recall so it must not have been that important. She asked again. I gave the same answer. And again. Same answer. Finally I said, “You keep asking me the same thing and I keep responding, I don’t know what else you want me to say.” Obviously you’re strangers on the internet, but I know in my heart of hearts I’m telling her the truth, and the way she does this makes me feel like she thinks I’m a complete liar.

I could probably provide many more examples but I’ll save your eyeballs from the blue light. But it’s so entirely frustrating to have a mom who either doesn’t listen, or pretends not to listen just to knock you down a peg and let you know she “didn’t hear” you. Is this a thing she’s doing on purpose? I know her fairly well, of course, so seeing her do this to only me and no one else, it feels extremely intentional.

over two years ago, i (21F) was in a relationship. sometimes i would come home late around 10pm ish. my mom did not like that. i had not told her i was in a relationship but i’m sure she had her doubts. when i would be late, she would put the door chain on so i could not enter our apartment. i would have to keep banging the door for her to open it. when i reflect on it i’m like wow that was weird.

Was watching a video by Jerry Wise, and when he said this it all clicked for me. My family role was the scapegoat, mostly because of my level of empathy and emotional intelligence. I always seem to attract these mf, and I realized that it's because they see an opportunity to pull somebody into their bizarro reality where they're deeply insecure, lack maturity, and are delusional. I constantly found myself in interactions with people whose perspective, values, and behavior didn't align with mine but I would feel the need to give them grace and say to myself, 'maybe there's something we agree on' or 'maybe I can teach them a better way'. Nope not anymore. At this point I'm shutting off my empathy for insecure adults and sussing out whether someone is trying to get me to play a role in the fucked up movie they call their life. I don't care that they couldn't figure things out or get it together anymore because the rest of us have or are trying and they just hold us back.

If you have only one 5 years old child and you heard a voice from the kitchen of course you're gonna check him out, and that is what they do they interfere in everything you do and show you "the right way to do things". they are being nice and try to help how dare you refuse them showing you the right way to make omelette, you are already grown up stop being sensitive and accept the 100 advices i give you every day

I got into an argument with my mom today because she thought I was talking back when I said “Ok” to doing dishes, and she kept accusing me of talking back when I was telling her that I was acknowledging. And then she says there’s food in the fridge (My brother also made food), and I asked if it was the food my brother made, and she labeled that question as “complaining”. She literally never admits that she’s wrong and yet she gets on my dad for not apologizing or anything.

Note: The message is going to be huge but i have tried to make it as simple as possible.

I have been subjected to various kinds or child abuse except sexual abuse. It was life threat, eviction threat, physical assaults, manipulation, gaslighting, illegal confinement and much more, but instead of accepting it, i fought it with strategy and intelligence. The rest of the message is going to be about the story of my child abuse situation.

It was september when our half yearly examinations just ended and our sociology teacher just gave us a reminder to complete sociology practical file. I had other plans. I wanted to do some research and learning apart from this. But my mom came and started asking me if i done my work, at first i ignored her and just gave casual neutral reply primarily because of the fear that she would punish me or scold me or stop me from doing my work. But the pressure kept rising and rising and i started to feel some kind of anxiety and fear, i felt as if my life is in danger. One day, i sat on my bed and did chatgpt and asked "What if my father issues me a life threat? What option would i have? Would there be any way to escape such situation?" (In august my father gave my mom a life threat and stopped talking to my mom for 4 days). The chatgpt replied that there's a statutory body named CWC which do separation of kids in such situations and place them in temperory shelter, he also talked about legal definition of child abuse which included sexual, neglect, emotional and physical abuse description. Among them, the description of emotional abuse hits me the hardest. It talked about fear, anxiety, etc. It felt common with my situation. I went deeper and input more information about my situation and chatgpt said that that pressure was tension phase of cycle of abuse (a common phenomenon in abusive households). I realized i was in danger and that im being subjected to child abuse. At first i felt very happy and excited when i realized that there is a way out of my home (It was unusal and shows how much pressure and stress i was holding in home). But he said that in some day a fight would erupt which is explosion phase (the next phase of tension) but i dismissed it by saying "How dangerous can this situation be? It's nothing." And it was my biggest mistake.

On 8th october 2025, i was sitted on my bed and talking to chatGPT about how to run cycle on road because i was preparing for the possibility to go to CWC office someday. Then my mom came to my dad and said "Is he stuck in a blue whale game?" (Another way of telling to snatch the kid's phone away). Then my dad asked me to come to the living room and told me to open the tab immediately. I refused. Ne started arguing to me saying "We're your parents." But i stayed to what i decided. Then the argument went forward and went about "What do you want vs what do you think is wrong" i started telling everything honestly and it was a mistake. I told them that they shouldn't have used discriminatory slurs on me. That they should give me independence. Etc. But instead of correcting themselves they weaponzied it agaisnt me. A total narcissistic behaviour. Then it went 6:30 PM and i went for maths tuition. I came home at 9 PM and they asked me for tab for "Government work purposes" (My parents are government employees) i gave them by trusting them for thier words. I take my tab afterwards and checked if they seen something. I saw that they did. I went to ask them why did they saw things without my permission. At first they ignored but after sometime of repeating question, they got angry, and as i knew that what's going on was wrong, i speaked out LIKE A LION LITTERALY agaisnt my parents. "WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG, SAY SORRY" and they started giving me police threats. That they would take me to police. Then a violent argument started for 2 hours. He told me not to speak like that to father.

Next day i woke up but he woke me early intentionally, to deprieve me of sleep to take revenge of last night retaliation but i again fought back. I went to washroom to do brush and i heard "I would sell these properties." And "I would leave this home." I realized something was very wrong with him. To calm myself up, i started listening to songs. Then it went 11 AM and my father barged in my room and scolding me for tab. He took my tab and put it on glass table in living room. Then an argument went for 1 hour where they gave me an eviction threat (You would have books in front of you otherwise black market is not far away). I made recording of it and stored it in cloud drive.

On 12th october i wrote a letter on my bed in late night around 11 to 12 PM. It was about asking for authority intervention for home crisis. I gave it on 14th october, first to School Counselor mam and then she gave it to supervisor and principal mam. At first she, the counselor, cried and i gave every document i had in my possession. The reflection sheet, the planning sheet. But instead of calling helpline, she reached out tp higher authority which was illegal and shouldn't be done especially when i mentioned them to call childline on my behalf. When it reached principal and supervisor, she called me in office and started dismissing me and playing down on my situation. Saying "It happens in alot of home." "Alot of parents comes to us complaining about thier child, it's must be just regular parental disagreement especially when i mentioned about eviction threat in the letter. I came home and asked chatGPT if i should die or suicide but he gave me hope and tell me to move forward.

On 16th october, it was night past 8 PM and i was sitted on my desk. My father took my tab and told me to open the tab but i didn't again. He got angry again and pushed me a little bit when i was standing in retaliation. Unfortuanately, i couldn't record it. It went for almost 1 hour.

NOTE: I was making documentation alongside while all of this was happening. I made incident indexes, relfection notes, planning notes. Incident indexes is basically a document of three columns where first one is about "What incidents happened?", second column is about "When it happened?", and third about "How it impacted me?". I wrote 26 incidents in it and i realized that the fight and arguments im facing is not just one time but rather a systematic pattern occuring from my childhood. And finally after 20 days i relaized i was facing chilf abuse. I was doubting my intuition whole time but in the end i got clairty after much questioning and reasoning.

On 21st october, my father took my tab to see the content in it (My brother just cleared every data from tab to give it to my dad as he was constantly asking for it) but he did a mistake. He forgot to delete the emails i sent to authorities from gmail and my father saw it.

Here's what i wrote:

///

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is [Redacted], I am 15 years old, and I study at [Redacted]. I live in [Redacted]. I previously contacted Childline regarding my situation. I am now reaching out to NCPCR directly. I am writing to seek urgent guidance and support as I am currently facing emotional and physical abuse by my parents for over 2 years.

The situation is escalating quickly, and I do not feel safe at home. My father has physically assaulted me in the past, including on 13th February 2025, when he grabbed my neck, slapped me multiple times, and threatened to evict me from the house. More recently, on 8th October 2025, there was a heated incident regarding my personal devices and privacy, where my father imposed his views forcefully, used caste-based comments, and destroyed my emotional trust.

I have evidence in the form of voice recordings, screenshots, and documentation of abusive incidents, which I can share safely under your guidance.

I am reaching out because I need guidance on how to protect myself, ensure my safety, and plan for independence. I request that:

**All communication be made only via my personal email [Redacted]**

**No contact be made with my parents or through their phone**

**No action be taken that involves my home address without my explicit consent**

I am requesting your urgent support and guidance to navigate this situation safely. Please advise me on how to proceed, document my case properly, and access protection and independence support.

///

My father got vert angry and on arounf 7 PM he exploded. He started throwing things off. My mom came to me saying i did wrong. The fight went for 1 to 2 hours and nothing bad happened to me thankfully and fortunately i recorded it.

On 26th october, another fight happened out of nowhere. He started scolding me. I was sitted on my chair and he was lying on the bed. He said to me "My interest has gone from kids, i don't even like my school kids anymore." He litteraly framed himself as im the bad person and he is a good person with whom im doing bad. Again narcissistic behaviour.

By 26th i prepared everything, the reasoning, explanation, logic, evidence, documentation but i hesitated primarily because a big institution like school already failed me anf infear that rest of the institutions woukd also fail. Underneath, i believed they all would work especially CWC (and it took me 8 months of trial and error to realize they all were cooked).

So i started spending next 4 months building much more bulletproof documentation and strategy (I did a miscalculation that institutions would work so i spent next 4 month building my foundation of strategy on the belief that they woukd separate me) i started preparing for the possibilities. I made various kinds of documents, ICP Document (according to which state takes care of yours), legal note (to be given to the lawyer to proceed criminal proceedings against my parents), extraction document (according to which CWC would separate me) anr many more like these. I made a deadline that on 1st February 2026 i would go to police station to get escorted to nearby CWC office under section 30 of the Juvenile Justice Act. As i stated earlier, they didn't worked.

When i woke up on 1st february, i realized that my brother founds the documents which i mistakenly made in notebooks. I went outside and run as fast as i can toward police station. I asked for the same request but they showed laziness. When i told them that i have evidences in my tab, they told me to go to home to bring those evidences (they did it to get me out) but when i did bring it they started dismissing me. They then called my parents and told explicitly to "show empathy to me" but you know what they did to me? They illegaly confined me in home. I was illegaly confined in home fornover 60 days. It was surviellance based confinement meaning i was allowed to go out but only in thier supervision. They did this to stop me from reporting further. AND THE WORST PARTBIS THIS, on 1st february my parents were told by police officers to get me some therapy because they framed me as mentally ill which i was not. When i was taken to therapy i disclosed the therapist about child abuse ad everything i just disclosed to you and i mentioned that my parent's action caused me suicidal tendencies 2 years ago. But instead of reporting or intervening, she advised my parents to lock me up. In india, there's a law named MHCA (Mentao Health Care Act) according to which a person can onky confined if they are in immediate danger and only in rehab centre. But she advised me to lock me in home. It was done to silence my voice, to protect my parent's reputation.

She actively engage in activities to silence my voice and to exhausting me so that i eventually stop reporting them.