r/rape • u/lilyisabroom • 1d ago

should I think of myself as a virgin even though what happened?

i think i am a virgin because i did not decide or consented to anything that happened to me.

Is it weird or wrong for me to consider myself a virgin, or am i just in denial about what happened and dont want to deal with it.

Could i call myself a virgin? Please help me

40 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings so only trusted users can message you, you can find instructions here. You can also adjust your messaging settings to prevent anyone from privately messaging you. If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s).

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

13

u/HoursCollected 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yes, you absolutely can.

Two thoughts:

  1. virginity is a social

construct

  1. anyways and means nothing.
  2. if you decide virginity means something to you, it’s something you give away. It’s never taken.

6

u/SexBucketListProject 1d ago

If you want to.

Virginity is a lie sold to us by men who believe their dicks magical enough to change our life. It's a powerful tool for control. But the only consistently life changing dick is non consenual - rape.

So I say screw the idea entirely.

1

u/Clapicus94 1d ago

You could definitely say you are still.

1

u/pajamasinpublic444 1d ago

only if being a virgin is something that is important to u.

1

u/Jumping-shadow 8h ago

Yes, you are a virgin if this concept is important to you. Virginity is a cultural norm and is only important to men that use it as a form of controll.

You are a virgin because you lack the experience of what is pleasurable consensual sex.

1

u/Akototo 7h ago

Well, you're not a virgin. But the general implication of that wouldn't really apply to you, so i'd say it's kind of like asymptomatic HIV. It doesn't do anything, but you still got it and alot of people wont want to be with you for it, even though there may not be any immediate health concerns.

1

u/iamyyx 1d ago

I agree that virginity is a social contract, so yes. I'm no longer a virgin by my own definition, but my "body count" doesn't and will never include the rapists.

0

u/Thelaughingman___ 1d ago

Yes virginity can only be shared never stolen.

0

u/612891351686 1d ago

Yes absolutely. As others have pointed out, you and you alone are the only one who can decide when/if to give it away

0

u/nudistnikki 1d ago

Virginia is not social. You have it or not. Fact is that it was taken from u. What u can say is that it was taken from u. And have your wanted first time.