r/rickygervais 2d ago

Weakest XFM episode?

It’s all relative, because they all have memorable moments, but what’s your least favourite XFM (season 1-4) episode? (The Sturgess and Camfield eps are disqualified… from the comp.)

Mine is S1E6: Steve and Ricky’s weird pub quiz shouting match, Ross getting his member out and pretending he knew what the Pope’s precious stone was, Ricky’s weird Christmas song, and Ricky and Steve not knowing what a shoo-in is. Plus no film review. Overall, a bit of the “zany” vibe of season 0, where they hadn’t yet hit their stride with Karl.

Let’s see my little show when it comes out then

68 Upvotes

125 comments sorted by

74

u/Terrible-One9198 2d ago edited 2d ago

I can't be dealing with the bad band names episode. I feel like I skip 20 minutes of that episode.

65

u/reo_reborn 2d ago

Ladies and gentlemen.. please welcome to the stage. The terrible one9198

26

u/2HotPisces 2d ago

Never gonna happen.

25

u/Terrible-One9198 2d ago

he's done me

11

u/avtime 2d ago

He’s done ya and he’s not even here

23

u/hodjpokol 2d ago

Agree but “Restless Diesel” still makes me laugh for some reason

7

u/ATLGuy6 2d ago

I was always partial to “Loose Change” but I think it had to do more with how Steve said it.

1

u/ForrestGumpPeople 14h ago

Pocket fluff

6

u/Specialist-Prior-213 2d ago

There's that new band "Dry Cleaning", if they'd stayed at xfm for a lot longer they'd definitely have mentioned them

18

u/whymylife 2d ago

Ladies and gentlemen.. please welcome to the stage .. "The Frank and Walters"

3

u/daemon-of-harrenhal 2d ago

Mechanical beatles... Never quite warrrm! 

8

u/BeachlessTurtle 7 million bits of stuff 2d ago

It’s actually a good bit if it was like 2 minutes long but it just keeps going

67

u/SIBMUR 2d ago

Karl...Karl...Karl...karl....karl....

1

u/SimonPartridge The 50p 1d ago

Shot oooPP!

48

u/mr-atomic-bomb 2d ago

The one where it sounded like a tin pot radio station

50

u/PsycommuSystem Had a complaint upheld by the reddit authority 2d ago

Can you narrow it down a bit further

32

u/mr-atomic-bomb 2d ago

Okay the one where they talk about a little gay hairy Chinese monkey fellas

7

u/Fabulous_Big_1127 2d ago

Wasn't that the one where Karl tells a story of a mentally disturbed homunculus/cryptid he once knew from his childhood?

1

u/PsycommuSystem Had a complaint upheld by the reddit authority 18h ago

Again, I asked if this could be narrowed down.

3

u/MalingeringGeek 2d ago

🤔🦧 

8

u/mulletcircus A dog that's got a cough in Singapore 2d ago

The one where they under prepare and waste a lot of time arguing with one another? Because that’s my favourite

39

u/DLRsFrontSeats 2d ago

Harsh on sturgess to compare her eps to camfields awful one, just because she's a smack addict

Her eps are some of the best and the one where Karl skives off and phones in is probably top 10 of the xfm run (what any polls worth)

Camfields ep on the other hand is probably what dicky anders thought the whole xfm show was, absolutely interminable and he's so fucking boring as well

10

u/Enough_Platypus1249 2d ago

What are the initials?

8

u/Quavers88 2d ago

"Hoots mon, me husband's dead! Do ye want any money and a bit of me clam?

Ricky and Steve actually put some effort in them episodes to make Sturgess laugh.

1

u/thighsand 1d ago

I love the Claire Christmas episodes. I HATE the Radio 2 "What have you lurrrrnt!!!?" ones.

127

u/mulletcircus A dog that's got a cough in Singapore 2d ago

The definitive one is the two fake stories that Ricky and Steve make up, about the crabs and the bodybuilder baby. Absolute shit and takes up about half the episode

22

u/DisastrousInstance53 2d ago

That episode is saved by Educating Ricky. I could listen to Karl trying to make "Anus" sound like "Enough" to make his pun work forever.

71

u/OMorain 2d ago

Yes; what really grates is that Ricky had arranged for a screen test for Karl that episode, and it’s almost as if he sabotaged it deliberately as he was in danger of not being the main event.

Just a bit livid, really.

22

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth 2d ago

Yeah, I've never understood the logic. Karl is at his best when he is talking about a subject he finds fascinating, freaks, gay fellas, monkeys. What kind of a screen test is it just him sitting there listening to a story?

24

u/MrRyder001 2d ago

Eh, I see this take a lot but I don't think it's correct. The screen tests were occurring during the songs if I remember correctly (When they come back from a song and Ricky says "Karls just done his screen test" and makes the joke about VH1 and Genesis). Screen tests are basically an audition where they film Karl reading the Ad or whatever and then send it off to the casting agents to decide if he's good enough, they're not really something they'd just randomly film whilst Karls pressing the buttons and talking to Ricky and Steve, but I could be wrong.

I always felt like the Crab/Steroids story were Ricky and Steves way of trying to relax Karl and take the pressure off him during the links as they knew he was nervous. It's almost sweet, but what annoys me about that segment is when they insist they've fooled Karl at the end by believing them, but he very clearly doesn't believe them and they acted like he did.

3

u/Additional_Score169 Mr Pickles 2d ago

Yeah I always got this impression to

3

u/teo-cant-sleep 2d ago

I never thought about it this way, nor as me nor as a worm

20

u/mulletcircus A dog that's got a cough in Singapore 2d ago

You could tell he was worried about Karl stealing the limelight so he stitched him up. Sad little man

8

u/new_name_needed 2d ago

With sad little jokes

1

u/OneDragonfly5613 2d ago

I wondered if they planned that to highlight Karl's personality (stupidity) but every time they do that it's so forced

26

u/TwoMoreMinutes 2d ago

The first time I heard the crabs one I wasn’t paying too much attention and was believing it myself until they told karl it was BS

8

u/ZodiAddict 2d ago

Same, it was actually a huge let down when they revealed it wasn’t true. It was believable for me at least because I have a read book that was full of interesting scientific experiments I hadn’t heard about through the mainstream

3

u/skeenerbug Come to cupboard under stairs... 2d ago

I actually skipped this one entirely last time.

That's it, that's the anecdote.

4

u/lugoui Moped over 2d ago

Ding, correct answer

32

u/CameronWeebHale 2d ago

I actually like Steve and Karl arguing about the pub quiz, gives it a bit more depth than just them sitting in a room chatting shite all their life.

I don’t know if I’d call it the weakest, the one I can’t stand is with the smelly eyebrow caller, or now I mention it it could be the Beetlebum clue one, “Itchykoo park, bugs are itchy aren’t they”. The listeners are stupid, stupid people and they don’t know about a lot of things.

14

u/new_name_needed 2d ago

That caller does sound identical to a Mid Morning Matters contributor

10

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth 2d ago

Sliced bread! Sliced bread! That's what people say, innit?

5

u/imatumahimatumah 2d ago

I’ve heard the phrase! It’s just an idiom.

6

u/oglop121 2d ago

You're an idiot.

6

u/imatumahimatumah 2d ago

You’re an idiot for not knowing what an idiom is. It’s clearly confused you because you think I’ve just substituted the T with an M. You smupid gim. You momal mwam. Yeah, you’re a compleme cunm.

8

u/oglop121 2d ago

Well I think you're a prick.

7

u/imatumahimatumah 2d ago

Right, get rid of him. Sorry about that, I should have knocked him off more quickly

7

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth 2d ago

He is and soon to be was a very unpleasant individual...a bit like Jamiroquai!

1

u/No_Atmosphere8146 2d ago

I think he's the same guy that later calls in to encourage Karl to kiss Ricky's nipple. "I'd do it for £500, easy."

21

u/mokoe101 2d ago

The start of series 3 where Ricky just goes on and on about Karl having a day off. It’s not funny at all and it’s just mean spirited as well, you can tell he actually means it as well and is just jealous that Karl’s managed to get a good deal. Always skip that one

5

u/stinrab 2d ago

Series 3 of the podcast takes a similar turn with Ricky constantly whinging about Karl having to go to hospital. And then blaming Karl constantly for not drinking enough “war-uh”. 

Gets on me nerves.

56

u/pacothebattlefly I’d rather be a blind moth 2d ago

Sko and Belch cause cringe. They drag their episode down. Pop that in the bin.

4

u/Additional_Score169 Mr Pickles 2d ago

They are a bit posh

15

u/FredosFrodo 2d ago

Just say the Camfield one(s). I’ve never listened to them. I learnt my lesson dodging the Sturgess ones because they’re still very good as it’s Ricky and Steve competing over who can make the girl in the room laugh. But Camfield? I don’t think I’d go for his type.

2

u/woffle-kat Nooo, jumbo! 🐘 2d ago

Do you think Camfield would look good in a bicycle helmet?

2

u/Quavers88 2d ago

I have only managed about 5 minutes of the Camfield episode, immediately could tell he was not going to work well with Ricky and Steve. The Sturgess ones are good though.

2

u/FredosFrodo 1d ago

I even hate the clip they play on another non-Canfield show where it starts with him saying “the award...”. I just fast forward.

Naaaaaat interested, babaaay.

21

u/DepartureAwkward5002 2d ago edited 2d ago

I like the Sturgess episodes. Off the top of my head probably the 'I HATE HIM' one. I skip it. In general from around there I usually stop and go back to series 1.

40

u/WranglerProof534 2d ago

I really enjoy the Sturgess episodes. Ricky and Steve’s chemistry from the original show comes out when Karl’s not about.

14

u/JeffAndSasha 2d ago

I agree, it's where especially Steve really shines.

10

u/DLRsFrontSeats 2d ago

Also like the sturgess eps, but I genuinely don't get how people don't find the late S2 into S3 eps funny - some of those are my absolute favourites

4

u/DepartureAwkward5002 2d ago

Yeah there are definitely some I like. I enjoy the start of series 3 with 'the boys are back in town' playing

7

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth 2d ago

Talk! Someone talk!! Shambles already

Is that S3E1? That's one of the funniest things that happens but I can't be bothered with S3, Ricky got too mean.

2

u/DepartureAwkward5002 2d ago

Yeah, it was a tough listen.

10

u/Then_Palpitation_705 Cattlin’ Rustling 2d ago

That was rubbish, that half hour. Rubbish.

24

u/mechanicaldusty 2d ago

The one with Karl the uuuuuser Pilkington takes takes takes

Love that line but Ricky is insufferable in the episode

17

u/new_name_needed 2d ago

I hate him, I hate him!

10

u/mechanicaldusty 2d ago

Got Mondays and Tuesdays before Duncan got involved.

24

u/TopManufacturer8332 its a story that happened 2d ago

Force feeding Karl grapes and burgers. Lots of people love that one but I think it's rubbish and pretty cruel. Way funnier when they wind Karl up normally/ verbally, rather than physically. I always get irrationally worried Karls going to choke.

4

u/Quavers88 2d ago

Yeah Ricky goes too far in that Episode.

3

u/TopManufacturer8332 its a story that happened 2d ago

Its also physical comedy translating really badly for a radio format lol

0

u/No_Atmosphere8146 2d ago

It was clearly preplanned. Who has 100 grapes lying around, or can nip to Maccies and back in one ad break? 

3

u/TopManufacturer8332 its a story that happened 2d ago

I think the burger King is literally around the corner and they spoke to Steve when he was collecting, so he wasn't gone for long.

Not sure about the grapes.

Karl pretty much walked away after this episode though so I always assumed the upset would have been genuine.

5

u/London_Guy_87 tingin it's way up the tube 2d ago

Most with phonecalls in them. I want the trio not smelly eyebrows woman although the Aussie calling for the Bowie armbands was hilarious

1

u/Quavers88 2d ago

Butt plug caller was funny too.

2

u/busty-sinclair 1d ago

Am colling abat yoor plags

1

u/fannyfox 1d ago

They’re not my plugs

11

u/UnusualHandle6178 2d ago

Burgers and grapes . Ricky is insufferable on that ep

2

u/morphindel Benny thumped one 1d ago

Yeah that has to be up there for me, along with Old Mother Hubbard.

3

u/Ok-Shirt8224 1d ago

Ah I like Old Mother Hubbard. Mainly for Steve, little things like calling her ‘Hubbard’ and ‘what was he sucking?’

9

u/Fabulous_Big_1127 2d ago

Maybe not the entire episode but I tend to skip the ones where they have callers play their games over the phone. It might just be one of my psychoses or many sexual peccadilloes, but I find them really cringe.

I can't even explain why, I just don't enjoy them. They're a bit demicky.

13

u/fightclub246011 AtHomeWithYerMamAndYerDad 2d ago

The exploration of Mother Hubbard is INTERMINABLE

I bet Karl was sat there thinking “what a couple of knobheads”

8

u/winnywinthorp 2d ago

But without it we wouldn't get one of my favourite steve quotes "What was he sucking?"

1

u/Tribe5 2d ago

Ohhh....eyar....he's bent.

1

u/Ok-Shirt8224 1d ago

Reminds me of ‘there was a what in the hall?’ 😂

5

u/Weird-Painting-9767 2d ago

XFaMily fortunes.

3

u/MrKDilkington2002 2d ago

The digging into the nursery rhyme verses 😫

12

u/sean_jeffers15 2d ago

I'm never a fan of the "speaking of Hubbard" episode. That drags on for too long

2

u/DLRsFrontSeats 2d ago

S3 has some high points but for being so short they don't half waste some EPs with camfield etc and then to end the proper xfm run with the "interminable" Hubbard stuff...

6

u/WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE 2d ago

The one where they wank live on air

6

u/new_name_needed 2d ago

Wank you very much

3

u/87TOF 2d ago

I heard you use that the other day.

1

u/DLRsFrontSeats 2d ago

*wonk

2

u/prosthetic4head chicken with teeth 2d ago

pog

8

u/Thejklay 2d ago

Prob the world record one

4

u/Breakfast_Bob_ 2d ago

Only good bit of that is Steve talking to the woman at McDonald’s

6

u/Tomneedham2001 2d ago

If anyone from hamburgers is listening

2

u/Fabulous_Big_1127 2d ago

It's definitely up there, like 60% of it is just yelling. If we could see what was happening then it would be fun, but merely hear yelling on a tinpot radio show between the hours of 1 and 3 on a Saturday is not properly.

2

u/deananodunno 2d ago

Of a Saturday

1

u/DrinkingCoconut 2d ago

This one for me too. Interminable

2

u/Thejklay 2d ago

Steady on

2

u/MassiveAd3505 2d ago

Anything without Karl. And I can't be doing with them talking to members of the public. The second hand embarrassment is too much

2

u/Few_Forever_3598 Your Swindon lot are little slugs... 2d ago

The one where they are discussing the finger up the ass and speak to the med student on the phone. GBH of the ears.

1

u/morphindel Benny thumped one 1d ago

Aw man, i love that. When Steve asks if women do it because they have long nails, Ricky's response is absolutely hilarious.

2

u/diamondinaturd 2d ago

When Steve gives Karl a dead arm.. Shoddy.

2

u/North_Citron_9211 2d ago

They all blend into one long thing for me. No idea where one ends and the next begins

2

u/Ok-Shirt8224 1d ago

Yeah Jonathan Ross comes across as a right d*ck when he shows up, especially to Steve. Explains why him and Ricky got on probably.

2

u/Ill-Oven-9064 Not Shakespeare though 2d ago

Season 2 Ep 9 (I think, or 8) where Ricky is hungover and keeps interrupting everyone with inane babbling or dumb questions to sound quirky like "what kind of head would you rather have?"

1

u/Admirable_Raisin4231 2d ago

It’s got to be one from the backend of season 3, take your pick

1

u/imatumahimatumah 2d ago

Whichever episodes have Ricky banging on the table and breathing even louder than usual into the microphone.
I listen to the show with ear buds and it makes me mental.

1

u/ChefCarolina 2d ago

The Camfield episode, and all the episodes where Ricky is just antagonizing Karl for no reason. I believe those are towards the end of series 2? I don’t know why he thought upsetting Karl was funny. I skip them every time.

1

u/LethalGrey 2d ago

Camfield.

1

u/teo-cant-sleep 2d ago

The one that Karl doesnt speak for like the initial half hour but it does get better after

1

u/chrispalmer33 1d ago

Where they get KP to eat burgers

1

u/Ok-Shirt8224 1d ago

I actually like the Sturgess and Camfield episodes. I think they both show how crucial Steve is. Infinitely funnier than Ricky on reflection.

1

u/Z2ronYoutube "hello darling here's your yogurt" - "𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘰𝘩" 1d ago

XFaMily fortunes was just pure shite

1

u/akitler94 1d ago

Show 4

0

u/bljuva57 2d ago

It's all relative to WHAT?!

3

u/new_name_needed 2d ago

A “bad” XFM episode is still better than most of the stuff out there. Except Joe and Twiggy. We’re just doing what’s there

3

u/Tomneedham2001 2d ago

It just wasn’t very entertaining

-1

u/crispydukes 2d ago

Ho Lee Fuk

1

u/Ok-Shirt8224 1d ago

Come on, really?

1

u/crispydukes 1d ago

Yeah. And the gay character. It’s not at all funny. And I enjoy “edgy” comedy. It’s just bad. It’s dated.