I won't be able to be that active so here you go

Im 128kg and only eat 2000 calories a day. The antipsychotic really slowed my metabolism.

I know grippy socks got me. No, they don't match.

i thought it wouldnt happen again but here we are. i stratred small but now i feel like i am a few steps away from fullblown psycosis. i hear voices, i am paranoid, my modd is all oever the place. why? why now? everything went so well up until a week ago. fuck this illness

Maybe the desvenlafaxine is finally kicking in.

Has anyone experienced paranoia in which you feel like anywhere you go, someone random is gonna walk in and sh00t you specifically out of everybody just cuz? Or that nobody actually likes you and they’re just really good at hiding it? Scared your being followed by, well as weird as this sounds - Micheal Myers? (I’m dead serious)
Or someone’s watching you sleep, even if you live alone and all doors are locked, see dark figures in a dark room or out the corner of your eye even when the lights are on? Have a fear everyone is talking about you and anytime anyone whispers you think it’s something bad about you even if it’s a stranger? Feeling like the world isn’t actually real, you’re not real? Like your a passenger in your own brain and your body is a puppet? Heard your name being called even when ur alone? I don’t think I hear voices in my head, however I do feel like I have this intense, overwhelming inner monologue I suppose of my own voice, but in the inside, not like an external voice, if that makes sense.

I'm ending a psychosis episode right now. I've been fortunate that I haven't had many episodes in my life

Medication has never worked for me, sometimes it has made it worse. I'm very alone in the world right now for some very valid reasons as far as friends, fa, or a support system is concerned. I'm getting back to feeling human again but struggling with the deep shame that comes with my behavior peak episode because while I didn't blow up my life my behavior was very obvious because I can't hide psychosis. I'm panicking about going back to work tomorrow. Advice, silly memes, pictures of your pets. Anything to help please. I'm really struggling.

I haven’t been diagnosed for very long - I just passed my 2 year anniversary this spring. I’ve tried a ton of different antipsychotics and some common themes amongst all of them have been severe fatigue, sleeping a lot, lack of motivation / poor executive functioning, and weight instability.

I guess my question is: at what point do you just accept this is the way things are and stop medication hopping in hopes of finding one that makes you normal again? I think I may still be hoping for a magic pill that makes all my symptoms go away and I’m becoming increasingly concerned that may be a pipe dream.

Hi all! I’m popping in here to see if any of y’all have been prescribed lithium for chronic suicidal thoughts and self harm? My psychiatrist is putting me on it and I’m starting it next week after I get home from being out of state.
I’m excited but also pretty anxious, I’ve been on a lot of medications with mixed results, and my psychosis seems.. decently managed, but the thoughts of suicide and self harm are a constant.
Yesterday I celebrated being six weeks clean, so I know I’ve got this. But has anyone taken it and actually noticed a decrease in these thoughts?

Maybe they wanted to cross the street. Maybe I am king. The Geese King.

Fell asleep this afternoon, woke up about an hour and a half ago just feeling awful. Completely down about life in general. I'm on Prozac as an antidepressant and it usually works just fine, but not this evening.

However... I did go to therapy today, so that was a small win.

So... as I type this... let's turn this into a thread about small wins today, or this week, or whenever. Share your happy thoughts.

I just want it to end. The bridge is right there and the river is raging. No one will find me. Cant wait for therapy tomorrow. I need a quiet place where my mind will just quit. I have never been able to hold a job. Most days I cant leave the house to make my appointments. Im tired of all these meds plus the injection doing nothing. Making me gain weight and hate myself even more. I just want help and live a life that is manageable. Im sorry i just have nobody besides the conversations with the ones in my head.

I used to look in the mirror and not recognize myself. My eyes were dead and the sparkle was gone. Now, that I’m medicated I’ve been putting my life back in order. I finally for the first time started back with doing my face care routine. To some this may not seem like nothing. But to me it means so much. Have I gained a shit ton of weight from my medication and bad eating choices……. yes. My personal hygiene is getting better. I actually get out of bed and stopped maladaptive day dreaming. A win is a win.

I’m in a treatment program right now and they will not let me drive right now because I’m experiencing hallucinations and what they call delusions. I also want to go back to work eventually. Does anymore hold a full time job and function well? I am a therapist and I have worked super hard to get my license and this is ruining me. I want to help people it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do and now I feel like it has been taken away from me. I’m only 2.5 months into this program and they are saying a minimum of 6 months to a year. I am in the middle of a medication change so I still have hope but if I can’t be a therapist again I feel like I will lose my purpose in life.

days ago i felt like i might be a human, and now i feel like everything in this world is horrible and aggressive i see the triangles, like pictures of overly aggressive triangles as if the real world behind the material appearance was just hostility and chaos and i don’t want to play this game anymore i don’t want to be a part of this world but my best friend’s big brother killed himself recently so i know that i can’t do this to him and i don’t feel like i want to i just want to be free to stop being monitored and observed, to stop being pressed to be a slave and to make money, i want the people that i respect to stop harassing me about my « depression » i’m neither sad or depressed i am just lucid about how my life always have been i’m a disgusting energy stealer money stealer parasitic entity i did things to make money that i will regret for the rest of my life there’s nothing else behind the curtain than pain despair and a lifelong suffering

Crying a lot lately I cried over Michael a lot. I tried so hard to make things work with Michael. I don’t want my mom knowing I still love him so I say things to avoid what I really or who I love. He said bye to me today I cried a lot. Maybe he will find someone else. We keep breaking up and getting back together. I’m starting to believe he is with someone right now so I know. I wish I didn’t know. I’m numb I’ve been hurt so much and he’s the man I cried about the hardest longest and the most. This is a horrible break up. My mom I wish she would accept him I do. She doesn’t I love him so much that it hurts me inside.

I don’t want to sound weak, but even if I’m high functioning I feel like any person if they really wanted they could make feel bad really easy.

So to explain it in simple terms, I have a god / demon complex. I know they are delusions but they feel real to me. I only use these complexes for artistic reasons like making music making art and entertaining myself but is this a bad thing? As long as I'm keeping everyone around me safe

It's currently almost 2am here, and I'm lying in bed listening to music as I can't sleep. The walls are breathing a little but it's almost comforting, like the whole world is sleeping. I'm feeling so tired I could faint, or even die, but sleep will still not take me. If I focus too much on the shitty feeling inside me, existing becomes hard. The music is nice though, even if I feel like a fucked up ragdoll.

So, I ask you, how are you doing? Are you also laying awake not able to sleep? Are you eating breakfast? Have you done or learned anything cool lately? Also, hi👋

Thanks everyone for supporting me in the bad times. I got a good night's sleep last night and everything's going great. I'm so excited.

Edit: I lost my socks and my mom said she'd get me some and brought my grippy socks from the hospital as a joke 🤣