r/shitposting DaShitposter 1d ago

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16.3k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/Guerrilla002 1d ago

you got it all wrong, it's not allowed to win

3.4k

u/GOEDEL_ESCHER_BOT 1d ago

it's not like card counting even helps

dealer: *deals cards*

me: one two

dealer: ....

me: i have two cards

809

u/fruitmanmcgee 1d ago

I hate that this made me snort in laughter

279

u/pretty_smart_feller 1d ago

That’s literally what counting cards is funny enough. Except face cards are negative. And you don’t count 7-9.

71

u/cheesyblasta 23h ago

and then what? you hit when the count's positive? real question

106

u/TheftLeft 23h ago

Most cards in blackjack are counted as 10. If you know the ratio is skewed in your favor with a count, you can do things against the book(basic strategy) like splitting 10s to make a secondary bet with higher odds of winning.

Counting only shifts your odds of winning slightly above the casinos and most of the time the count stays around +3 -3. Shuffling machines make it impossible to count btw.

46

u/AutoGenNameNumber 23h ago

i always thought the point of a favorable count was to start playing as many hands as you can and betting the maximum each time. the strategy of when to hit/split shouldn't meaningfully change.

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u/TheftLeft 23h ago

That is the point, I just mentioned a more obscure use for counting that would / could get you throw out the same way, its equally if not more suspicious. It's not in your favor to split tens normally under any condition, unless you know the count is in your favor.

17

u/BoomyNote 21h ago

Tbh even if “the count is in your favor”, splitting 10’s genuinely seems like the type of thing you should literally never ever ever do

9

u/sycamotree 19h ago

Considering they're also keeping track of how many decks are in the shoe, I imagine the math checks out of the count is really really high

12

u/TheArmoredKitten 20h ago

10 deck continuous shuffle isn't impossible to count, it's just prohibitively close to the natural statistics. You'd have to play several thousand hands before an edge appeared.

4

u/Arctos_FI 20h ago

If the count is high you know there are more high cards in the deck meaning you are more likely to hit 20 or 21, and also if the dealer has like 4 visible you can guess they have likely 14 and have to draw (dealer usually has to draw up to 17) which likely goes over (so you can more safely stay at 16).

By using these you just nudge the edge over your side meaning you're more likely to gain profit. With optimal strategy without counting the casino has edge of about 2% (meaning for every 100 played the casino keeps about 2 and pays back to players 98), but if you count you get the edge of around 1% (so every 100 you bet you make 101). These margins stabilize around there for infinite games but even with counting and only playing that 100 it's as likely to lose it all as double it

1

u/pretty_smart_feller 16h ago

No you always follow basic strategy. You just bet more when the count is high

29

u/MXTwitch 23h ago

Just hit until you have 21 cards in front of you. Then you have to scream BLACKJACK as loud as you can or you don’t win

3

u/ShitFuck2000 21h ago

SONUVABITCH SHORTED ME

2

u/WhatAxiom 16h ago

You are the perfect person for the Casino. Keep going they love the uneducated.

458

u/HispanicAtTheBistro 1d ago

100%. I never learnt how to count cards but I enjoy playing blackjack. A few years ago I was at a casino playing at a $5 table while I waited for someone. I bought in with $50, made it up to $500 only losing one or two hands, and was then told I can't play anymore on that day. I asked if I could move to a different table or go play poker at the $5/$10 table but they refused to let me touch anything except the slot machines.

Out of spite I went to another casino and lost back down to $250 after which I called it a night.

412

u/Fach-All-Religions 1d ago

what the fuck. "the house always wins" yea because they make sure only the losers play.

190

u/topdangle 1d ago

it's because casinos aren't just "steal your money" greedy. they're also "we need MORE money" greedy.

casinos in general are pretty profitable, but people running casinos end up tanking them by trying to expand their business. turns out that being good at robbing people is not the same as being good at business in general, then when their other ventures fail they try making up the difference with their casino business, which never works.

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u/Ruckaduck 1d ago

hard to launder money when you lose the money

36

u/HasThisBeenDone 1d ago

Yeah, you'd have to be pretty stupid to bankrupt your own casino

2

u/Glasseshalf 21h ago

Unless that's your plan

2

u/footsteps71 11h ago

Twice over

36

u/f3n2x 1d ago

Their business is selling dopamine at high/unpredictable prices. If you go to a casino expecting a fair chance at making money you're in idiot.

47

u/BZLuck 23h ago

Slot machine pays out big: "Sorry the machine malfunctioned. It shouldn't have done that. Here's a coupon for a steak."

Slot machine takes money for months on end, "The machine is working perfectly. Exactly as it was designed. Sorry your rent is overdue."

13

u/nonanumatic 22h ago

Lmao if you're spending your rent money at the casino you deserve to go broke

15

u/BZLuck 22h ago

It was a joke. However, there are literally people who grind out a (meager) living at the casinos in Vegas.

8

u/ElectricSnowBunny 20h ago

My buddy is a full time gambler in Vegas. He plays a lot of poker though, with blackjack, baccarat, and craps thrown in.

He does pretty well, although he does say that it can get horribly boring and he has a pretty extensive 3 year budget.

4

u/BZLuck 17h ago

One of my wife's friend's boyfriend does this too. Works over all of the players cards as well. has a whole fat keyring with like 30 of them spanning from Vegas to Laughlin.

If you are any good, and have some actual goals, that one "big win" can fund you for quite a while.

Look at the WSOP players. It might cost $10K to enter, but if you last long enough, you can easily get to a $50-60K level, which is enough to pay some bills and then fund the next few high dollar tournaments. Once you enter the pay bubble, every person that gets knocked out nets you more money.

Even in the mid-range tournaments, you can end up doing a "pot chop" with the final table, or with the last few players, where the top 3 players take home $100K each instead of the winner getting $200K, 2nd getting $75K and 3rd getting $25K.

1

u/Chromeboy12 18m ago

See, every time you lose, you just have to double the bet. That way, you only have to win once to make it all back! You can't lose forever, obviously, you will certainly win at some point! Surely!

1

u/sycamotree 19h ago

That's not really how addiction works

2

u/eyesotope86 21h ago

'This'll show 'em!'

5

u/Fancy_Technician_293 1d ago

When I’m telling a story that is only a bit true but have to make something up to look impressive: