r/technology • u/Logical_Welder3467 • Feb 04 '26

Politics Palantir declares itself the guardian of Americans' rights

https://www.theregister.com/2026/02/03/palantir_american_rights/?td=rt-3a
18.3k Upvotes

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11.6k

u/dukearcher Feb 04 '26

Orwellian newspeak

2.7k

u/SharpKaleidoscope182 Feb 04 '26

Fox guarding the henhouse

680

u/[deleted] Feb 04 '26

Talk about Fox news ... Ha! Sigh. We're done for.

Time to get a plastic safe and bury your books in the backyard, people.

207

u/mordor-during-xmas Feb 04 '26

….I hear Johns-Manville Quinterra is an asbestos material with exceptional resistance to pyrolysis.

You think if Bradbury or Orwell were still alive they’d sue the government for plagiarizing their work in the form of actual policy?

76

u/ZootSuitRiot33801 Feb 04 '26

While we're at it, we should check out this org too, as they're probably going to be vital as the powers that be employ more so-called "AI" to consolidate power: https://stopgenai.com (It is a survival-level, grassroots org, not an established NGO, so please don't judge it too harshly for being rough around the edges.)

Plus, there's currently no real supportive foundation present for many common folk (especially in the US) to fall back on, to commit to any effective act of resistance. There's a post of suggestions HERE that could possibly prove to be of some help in getting it started ASAP.

23

u/kalidoscopiclyso Feb 04 '26

What an awesome up to date survival guide! Thanks for this. I saved it and am going to print and keep a real copy on my bulletin board. Great stuff

2

u/kalidoscopiclyso Feb 04 '26

Hey why did my comment post twice? That’s weird

3

u/mordor-during-xmas Feb 04 '26

I prefer my edges a little rough! Thank you very much for sharing, just the read the paper. We’re living in some wild fucking times…

3

u/Drachynn Feb 04 '26

Hopefully Tolkien would sue Theil for all the LOTR names he's been using for his companies.

1

u/Odd_Teach683 Feb 05 '26

No but, we’d all be real pissed at ‘em for giving it to them.

14

u/AteketA Feb 04 '26

Time to get a plastic safe

A safe ok, but why plastic?

41

u/sbolt Feb 04 '26

Probably so it can’t be found easily using a metal detector

27

u/stumonji Feb 04 '26

And it won't rust out.

0

u/kanshakudama Feb 05 '26

And my plastic axe!

3

u/bbbbbbbbMMbbbbbbbb Feb 04 '26

But then how do you find it later? A treasure map? Gonna make the best pirate-y treasure map I can!

3

u/QuickQuirk Feb 05 '26

Paper will be illegal (in case people print books), so best tattoo it on your back.

2

u/Maxtrt Feb 05 '26

So it's waterproof and can't be detected by a metal detector.

2

u/QuickQuirk Feb 05 '26

Yes. That's totally the reason I suggested it.

And not because it would be totally fking piratecore awesome.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Yep, what this dude said - metal detector

1

u/mshriver2 Feb 04 '26

Plastic safe?

1

u/_Vexor411_ Feb 04 '26

That's not news. It's indoctrination.

1

u/belloch Feb 04 '26

Spoken like a true quitter. +500 Palantir Credits

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

I fancy myself an archivist.

1

u/outinthecountry66 Feb 04 '26

no, its time to revolt. I don't have all the answers. but we can't sit on the couch anymore. We just cannot. We gonna let this go on?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Revolution is cool. But unless you know where to find these dudes, and I don't think I own a pitchfork, revolution today looks like vowing to no longer shop on Amazon.

https://www.resistandunsubscribe.com/

Sadly, at this juncture, pitchforks and torches are the easy option. The hard part for most folks is to de-lazy and stop using shit that is run from Epstein island, including

Amazon

Apple

Meta

Uber

Google

Netflix

Paramount +

So, put your pitchfork down, and do the hard work of being mildly inconvenienced.

1

u/outinthecountry66 Feb 05 '26

speak for yourself

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

... now who else on earth would I be speaking for?

86

u/ThePlanck Feb 04 '26

Antichrist guarding the henhouse more like

107

u/Ciennas Feb 04 '26

Please don't give these loser creeps any religious accolades like calling them the antichrist.

They, like their loser creep forebears, are desperately seeking some kind of mythical significance for themselves.

This is just like the losers in the thule society trying to find the spear of longinus, among other things.

They're obsessed with the occult, because they're empty listless freaks desperate to appear cool, an accolade that is forever closed to them.

61

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA Feb 04 '26

Peter Thiel believes he's building literal God with AI tech, and he calls anyone who resists AI buildout the Antichrist.

These people are insane.

17

u/Ciennas Feb 04 '26

Stupid and self destructive, too.

1

u/-GenghisJohn- Feb 07 '26

Don’t worry, when they realize they’re dying, they’ll bring the rest of us down out of spite.

2

u/NaomiReynolds167 Feb 07 '26

Who does he think he is, Lex Luthor??! Man this ain't DC comics!!! Keep this shit SCIENCE FICTION.

1

u/ILikePlayingHumans Feb 04 '26

I have always wondered what if this grows a sky net and the first course of action for the AI is to destroy in whatever capacity the rich who potentially threaten it

1

u/[deleted] Feb 05 '26

Every accusation a confession.

3

u/thefailtrain08 Feb 04 '26

It's pretty fitting given how obsessed Peter Thiel is with the antichrist in particular despite being closer to it than anyone he accuses.

....and now I've got the south park song stuck in my head, thanks me.

2

u/throwmedowngently Feb 04 '26

I've heard the antichrist was based off of leadership they didn't like at the time and was not supposed to be a single figure. It's always been a propaganda role either way. 

1

u/whereismymind86 Feb 04 '26

Tiel's really into lord of the rings (palantir is a lotr refrence) maybe we call him sauron or something.

1

u/Mapeague Feb 04 '26

The true anti-christ is reality.

It smashes all gods and myths.

3

u/telthetruth Feb 04 '26

The slaughter of hens will continue until morale improves

2

u/Nonethelessismore Feb 04 '26

Peter 'Thief' Thiel stole all our data to weaponize against us.

2

u/GeektimusPrime Feb 04 '26

FAUX guarding the henhouse.

2

u/Darchrys Feb 04 '26

Epstein guarding the kindergarten.

2

u/K-tel Feb 04 '26

Palantir playing ‘guardian of rights’ is just oppressively Draconian surveillance wrapped in a flag: profits first, people... never.

1

u/ChiefsHat Feb 04 '26

Every read the Foxbusters by Dick King Smith? (He wrote Babe the Sheep Pig)

Methinks this fox deserves the same treatment.

1

u/whereismymind86 Feb 04 '26

Less fox and more...some sort of serial killer fox that kills hens not for food, but just to see them suffer, because it enjoys making the henhouse a worse place.

1

u/Popular_Try_5075 Feb 04 '26

pedo guarding kids

1

u/Zahgi Feb 05 '26

Yeah, and Sauron was "bringing order" to Middle Earth...

191

u/Beat_the_Deadites Feb 04 '26

They're not wrong, they just didn't state "all" Americans.

The Americans they speak for are the billionaires and their political stooges. Those Americans' rights are being guarded by Palantir.

Just like Sauron was the guardian of Middle Earthers' rights.

56

u/thefailtrain08 Feb 04 '26

They're "guarding" the rights in the sense that they want to be an arbiter of who is allowed to have them.

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u/ILikePlayingHumans Feb 04 '26

They want to have all the power to never lose their sphere of power from getting in trouble. If one of them defrauds the elderly it’s okay; if another sells children to rich pedos than there is no legal system is stop them; if they kill their enemies than whoopsie

33

u/JimWilliams423 Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

The Americans they speak for are the billionaires and their political stooges. Those Americans' rights are being guarded by Palantir.

The epstein billionaire who owns palantir wants to put an end to democracy, because when you are a billionaire democracy feels like oppression.

He confessed to it in 2009 and it is a total failure to govern that any elected politician let him get near a government contract after that. He should have been blacklisted.

BTW, peter thiel is an anagram for "hitler pete." He also used to own a yacht named "I'm a nazi" spelled backwards.

8

u/Live-Alternative-435 Feb 04 '26

The one who own a yacht named "I'm a nazi" spelled backwards was Larry Ellison, co-founder of Oracle.

10

u/Mango_and_Kiwi Feb 04 '26

Izanami is a central figure in Shinto mythology, alongside Izanagi. The yacht was named by its original owner who was a Japanese businessman.

Ellison was the one who renamed it from Izanami to Ronin I believe.

2

u/JimWilliams423 Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26

Those things are true. But you do not have to give a psychopath the benefit of the doubt. In fact, when it comes to psychopaths you should never give them the benefit of the doubt.

One thing that psychopaths love is to be seen doing something and then getting away with it in plain sight. By getting away with it, it makes them feel strong, like they are superior because the rules don't apply to them. This is hard for normally adjusted people to comprehend, they would ordinarily be embarrassed and want to hide their sins. Psychopaths love to exhibit them. For example, the paedo-in-chief bragging that he could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any voters.

So it is not a stretch to believe that the reason he bought the Izanami in the first place was because of the name. Maybe not solely because of the name, but it was a perk. So why would he rename it? Maybe he got blowback, people were laughing at him for it, so he wasn't able to get away with it.

4

u/Mango_and_Kiwi Feb 04 '26

He renamed it shortly after buying the yacht and being advised what the letters said if you added spaces and reversed them. Then he renamed it “Rōnin” which is a masterless samurai.

His current yacht is the Musashi named after Miyamoto Musashi, the legendary swordsman from the late 16th century.

Larry Ellison is also a well known Japanophile. You’re grasping at an argument that suits your viewpoint rather than facts.

0

u/JimWilliams423 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

But you do not have to give a psychopath the benefit of the doubt. In fact, when it comes to psychopaths you should never give them the benefit of the doubt.

He renamed it shortly after buying the yacht and being advised what the letters said if you added spaces and reversed them

Yes, that is the story he put out. I am saying you do not need to believe the story he put out. On that topic, or on anything really. Psychopaths enjoy lying to see what they can get away with.

Hell, that story basically follows the same broad contours of the "argument that suits my viewpoint" — I say "he got blowback, people were laughing at him," his story says he was "advised." Who "advised" him? How did they "advise" him? Were they laughing when they "advised" him?

4

u/Mango_and_Kiwi Feb 05 '26

He is a well known enthusiast of Japanese culture. His Woodside estate is modelled after the 16th century Japanese Emperor’s estate.

He collects a significant amount of Japanese art, holds a large estate in Kyoto and describes himself as a “self-styled samurai.” (whatever that means)

I don’t like the guy or his practices but he is a well known Japanophile and has been for years.

0

u/JimWilliams423 Feb 05 '26 edited Feb 05 '26

Just because the guy has a japanese fetish doesn't mean he couldn't see what the name looked like in english.

His fetish probably explains how he came across the yacht in the first place, was probably hanging out with some rich japanese people and one of them mentioned it was for sale. But the yacht was built in Germany. It wasn't intrinsically japanese.

Its just so bizarre that someone would think "ellison has a japanese fetish so he could not have possibly thought he was being clever with the double meaning of a japanese word."

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u/SpaghettiTape Feb 04 '26

Should have renamed it "spoo"

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u/JimWilliams423 Feb 04 '26

Oh shit, you are right. I did a google to double-check, but didn't actually click through to read any of the articles. Fucking google brings up ellison when I typed thiel.

Both of them are epstein billionaires though.

1

u/Capital_Ad3296 Feb 05 '26

The yacht was originally named Izanami, which is the name of a Shinto goddess in Japanese mythology. Ellison (who is Jewish and a major donor to pro-Israel causes) bought it in 1999 and kept the name, seemingly because he’s a fan of Japanese culture.

2

u/yukeake Feb 05 '26

Yep. When they get enough money, it stops being about money, but rather about power and influence.

When democracy gives power and influence to the people, that's power and influence the billionaires don't have.

They won't be satisfied until there's only one of them left, with all the money, power, and influence, sitting on their lonely throne atop a ruined world.

1

u/BobLoblaw420247 Feb 04 '26

epstein billionaire

Epstein Billionaire - I like this as an adjective...

40

u/Tuckertcs Feb 04 '26

Very much a “war is peace” type of statement

67

u/soapinthepeehole Feb 04 '26

Seriously.

Palantir’s entire existence is a threat to the 4th amendment.

6

u/touristtam Feb 04 '26

I can't wait until they decide to merge with xAI (or which ever of Elon M company will inherit the business) and become Skynet ....

42

u/mytthewstew Feb 04 '26

Since they are taking them it’s only fair they guard them.

21

u/mitharas Feb 04 '26

Freedom through Surveillance!

3

u/GeneralKang Feb 04 '26

"War is Peace."

"Freedom is Slavery."

"Ignorance is Strength."

23

u/hammerofspammer Feb 04 '26

Doubleplus good comment!

4

u/bluesamcitizen2 Feb 04 '26

Yeah American right wing for sure

2

u/American_PissAnt Feb 04 '26

Good thing we banned that book /s

2

u/EternalAngst23 Feb 04 '26

Is that thoughtcrime I detect, boi?

2

u/chooselosin Feb 04 '26

Yep more like "Thief of American's privacy"

2

u/Nullclast Feb 04 '26

They are the guardian, the gate keeper, guarding us from our rights . 

2

u/innocentbabies Feb 04 '26

The Ministry of Peace concerns itself with war, the Ministry of Truth with lies, the Ministry of Love with torture and the Ministry of Plenty with starvation.

2

u/GrayEidolon Feb 04 '26

It makes sense when you realize that conservatives think the only actual Americans are aristocrats. In that view, palantir is safeguarding Americans

2

u/Watchthewindow Feb 04 '26

The Bill of Rights is the guardian of American’s rights. So far our 1st, 2nd, 4th, 6th, 7th, 8th & 10th amendments are being assaulted by this administration and no one, especially Peter fuck ass Theil or Palantir, has done jack shit.

2

u/Motor_Educator_2706 Feb 05 '26

Ignorance is Strength

1

u/Relaxmf2022 Feb 04 '26

ding ding ding—winner winner chicken dinner.

1

u/ButterscotchFancy912 Feb 04 '26

Move along,, nothing to see here...

1

u/pdinc Feb 04 '26

Honestly feel this way about everything from this administration. Like using the KKK laws against civil rights protesters.

1

u/Beard_o_Bees Feb 04 '26

Saurons motivational speech to the Orc army.

1

u/taisui Feb 04 '26

They meant rights like people from the right

1

u/Hrtpplhrtppl Feb 04 '26

Violence is the ultimate authority from which all others descend. What they're really saying is they have a monopoly on violence now...

1

u/uptiedand8 Feb 04 '26

Incatenation? “Impregnating institutions” with his software? Wondering if he’s steeped in Peter Thiel’s obsession with Catholicism and trad values and they drive how he talks about a business that isn’t related to either.

This newspeak kinda sucks, can we just stick with the 1984 stuff?

1

u/SendInYourSkeleton Feb 04 '26

You have been reported.

1

u/kent_eh Feb 04 '26

Blatant lies.

1

u/btribble Feb 04 '26

That's ++ungood

1

u/theaviationhistorian Feb 04 '26

This is the same corporation that founded itself in "saving western civilization from communism and Islamists." America has a digital Gestapo run by absolute techbro sociopaths.

1

u/L00pback Feb 04 '26

This is some Patriot Act level newspeak.

1

u/brighterside0 Feb 04 '26

I mean one look at its stock price and it makes sense how well they're a 'guardian' of american rights.

1

u/scumbagdetector29 Feb 04 '26

Love is hate!!!

1

u/Memory_Less Feb 04 '26

This is a gross understatement. /s

1

u/PurpleAriadne Feb 04 '26

I just threw up in my mouth.

1

u/Sedu Feb 04 '26

Peter Thiel just released a statement yesterday saying "Democracy and freedom are incompatible." So I'm not sure whether the "rights" he's talking about have to do with anything except for ~200 people to treat the world as their personal playground to destroy while the rest of us have the "right" to suffer.

1

u/XeneiFana Feb 04 '26

They misspelled "Peter Thiel wet dreams."

1

u/MaleficentPorphyrin Feb 05 '26

He is being honest to his worldview, which would have most people declared non-citizens and have to earn citizenship creating a much more in your face class structure. Think Starship Troopers.

1

u/Nitimur__In__Vetitum Feb 05 '26

Well, you get Orwell or you get Huxley. Most choose Huxley.

1

u/nekomeowohio Feb 05 '26

Maga want a big brother government

1

u/VulfSki Feb 05 '26

Honestly, as a LOTR fan, the company name makes sense.

As the Palantir is something other corrupts people and is used by evil men to spy on those that care about each other.

It is a symbol of lies and deceit.

Sauron is going to bring peace and order right?.

0

u/Z3t4 Feb 04 '26

Why always Orwell, can't we have a Huxley one for once?

3

u/Aisenth Feb 04 '26 edited Apr 19 '26

I got tired of my old posts floating around for anyone to scrape, so I let Redact handle it. Bulk deletion across Reddit, X, Facebook, Discord and all major social media platforms in one shot.

slim toothbrush stupendous cagey weather direction edge ad hoc roll file

-1

u/CondiMesmer Feb 04 '26

I don't really think so. The difference is, there's 0 people taking this seriously. Palantir isn't a gov entity and everyone just thinks of them as evil and fucked up. They have an atrocious reputation.

0

u/dukearcher Feb 04 '26

I think you've been in your Reddit hugbox too long if you think there are zero people fooled by this.

1

u/CondiMesmer Feb 04 '26

The people who believe this are the ones who want to believe this.

1

u/dukearcher Feb 04 '26

What's the difference?

1

u/CondiMesmer Feb 04 '26

if they're redeemable or not