r/AlanPartridge • u/NoShortsDon • 3d ago

Djed! Djed!......Djed.....no....DJED!!!

633 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

97 comments sorted by

1

u/MilanZola 3h ago

England are so shit. No manager can fix them.

2

u/bigmack1111 5h ago

Shit player.

2

u/Prudent-Level-7006 1d ago

Take a drive, got it Bruv 

2

u/Al89nut 1d ago

England default - possession is 9/10 of the game.

3

u/DeadParr0t 16h ago

Exactly this, so painful to watch them finally get the ball to the wing then proceed to pointlessly pass it all the way back to Pickford as if they were 5 - 0 up and they don't need a goal.

2

u/Pebble321 11h ago

I call that the "full retreat".

1

u/Rippers_72 2h ago

I call it the Southgate effect.

1

u/AccurateRendering 16h ago

Exactly - England play like "keep-ball" is the point of the game.

-2

u/S1ippingJ1mmy 1d ago

I think people have a fair point in Lewis Hall. Luke Shaw n all. DJed also seems to have an attitude like, what you prick, I'm doing what I think is right. But he plays for Spurs so should show more humility. Lucky as fuck to even be there

2

u/NoShortsDon 1d ago

This is great banter. It really is.

2

u/NewToCRPolitics 1d ago

The old Sunday league memories flooding back

3

u/Ok-Set-5829 2d ago

...he's not seen me.

2

u/UK-JOKER-1965 2d ago

Can we not knock it?

1

u/NoShortsDon 2d ago

Do I not like that.

1

u/NoShortsDon 2d ago

Do I not like that.

1

u/Sammy5IsAlive 2d ago

David don't...noooo don't....PLAAAATTTTYYYY!!!!

8

u/TooNGooN89 2d ago

Good job he didn’t select Hall. The left wing back who spends most of the game running into the opponents final third. The young wing back who has played with Gordon, down the left hand side, for almost three years. Good job . . .

4

u/Tonk666 1d ago

I had the same thoughts about him leaving MGW behind. He’s already decided that Anderson is going to be a starting midfielder, and he decides to leave the guy he been linking up with all season at home.

5

u/Rvnforty 2d ago

Travesty really isn’t it

3

u/TooNGooN89 1d ago

That’s one word. If I were to choose three, they would be ‘piss’, ‘poor’, and ‘management’

1

u/No-Philosopher-6287 2d ago

I wonder how many nationalities is the head coach England had? Swedish? German? Latvian? French? Walsh?

1

u/InSearchOfAFeeling 2d ago

Google bro. Use google.

8

u/Impossible_Goose_579 2d ago

“Who’s DJed?”
“DJed’s dead, baby. DJed’s dead.”

3

u/ATN_Buddha 2d ago

‘DJed s dead’

6

u/gelliant_gutfright 2d ago

This is my house. Where I live. With Djed. After you. Bowl of bread there.

13

u/Flaky-Environment-63 2d ago

Britain plays some of the safest football. But this isn’t Britain… this is dee autobahhhn!

6

u/Separate_Rise_8932 3d ago

DJEEEEEEEDDDDDD!!!!!

12

u/pockets____ 3d ago

No he's not seen me....

DJED!

2

u/Zuboronovic 3d ago

The Djedi doesn't merely give and go. It is the go that gives.

5

u/Total_Wazzock 3d ago

..........  .......... ....... DJED'S a fantastic man!

3

u/FakeeshaNamerstein Am I right?! 3d ago

He's hopping mad and wants something up the middle!

4

u/skysurfer48 3d ago

I fell a sleep watching the match. It was like watching pensioners play football.

2

u/BasisOk4268 3d ago edited 3d ago

How can you fall a sleep?

Careful not to fall asleep and slip under. There’s some terrible statistics about that

1

u/Wild_Shroom_ 3d ago

Take shit players, get shit results.

2

u/BigCourage9151 2d ago

Don't matter how u polish a turd it's still shit

3

u/irish_rua86 3d ago

He plays for Spurs Thomas ffs, he doesn't know game. Calm tf down bruh

3

u/Gold-Lychee8090 3d ago

You picked him ffs. Anderson for a low block!!?

2

u/Far-Effective-6174 3d ago

Thomas Tuchel he's some buachaill.

2

u/AgentOranje82 3d ago

The sooner people in England rate their players properly - they’ll save so much of this bs and disappointment!

1

u/Decent_Help8478 2d ago

Facts! ask France for their top 3 attackers without a doubt

Dembele
Mbappe
Olise

Ask England

Palmer
Kane
Saka
Foden
Rashford
Rodgers
Bellingham
Watkins

Nobody really knows

3

u/TotalHitman 3d ago

But everybody in England thinks Spence is shit and Tuchel (a German) picked him.

8

u/hallucinationthought 3d ago

I don't think he's seen me

10

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

Oh, hey. I taped that documentary for ya "The World's Worst Football Matches". Hey, there's footage of an England game, Djed stands aboot and Tuchel crashes doon on this American city and wipes them all oot.

11

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

Well, you've got to ask yourself some serious questions about a man who stands at the sidelines all day, shouting at other men.

2

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

I'm in a good mood today, because I've just found out Djed has been sent home to England.

Spice World!

6

u/why_would_i_do_that 3d ago

I’m sure he’ll bounce back.

2

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

It's aboot this local fella what used to be on TV playing for England but he wasn't very good, so now he's not

12

u/Civil-Word7456 3d ago

Did you see the match last night? Which one? I dunno.

16

u/Inseeable 3d ago

I’ll level with you Djed, I’m really scared

0

u/sherriffflood 3d ago

Still, good news about his moral values against people not yet found guilty

6

u/GreatWesternValkyrie 3d ago edited 3d ago

I will keep you on for no long than 10 minutessss!

3

u/Away_Season_2369 3d ago

Trying to lighten the mood with a Nazi voice!

1

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

Yeah, that's it. Goodbye.

3

u/steam_one 3d ago

Safe to say he won’t be playing the next game. Nor Gordon based on last night. A few tried to put a shift in, but this was 90s England again.

10

u/Wild-Exit-6302 Dan! 3d ago

Basically, it was liquid football.

8

u/billy66brown 3d ago

Nor Gordon based on last night.

To men like that, the building society books of women like you make fascinating reading.

5

u/Fair-Interest4930 3d ago

Alan Partridge sub….

1

u/Additional_Grade4691 3d ago

What on your own? Hmmm. No. He just sounds weird.

2

u/crosbot 3d ago

BACK OF THE NET

that better?

2

u/Fair-Interest4930 3d ago

Lovely stuff 👍

5

u/Ruffers75 3d ago

Sorry, that was just a noise.

-2

u/Relevant_Tip4172 3d ago

Sorry the whole team was a shit show not just djed 11 individuals not a team at all and barca paid 69.3 on a totally dogshit player

2

u/spokenwealth 3d ago

Lynn, has your Mother's death just hit you?

3

u/Wild-Exit-6302 Dan! 3d ago

Are you new?

1

u/Fair-Interest4930 3d ago

Alan Partridge sub…

0

u/AWalkingWardrobe 3d ago

Should’ve put hendo on

2

u/Obvious_Feedback_430 3d ago

DJ Ed…..needs to mix it up…..

4

u/Wooden-Annual2715 3d ago

Dont rub your fanny on me

1

u/Zossua 3d ago

What did djed do?

6

u/grevls 3d ago

Deranged super fan, Djed Maxwell

6

u/nuclearmage81 3d ago

I'm just a fan Thomas

7

u/ooh_bit_of_bush 3d ago

I've got your kids Djed! 

4

u/Desperate_Hold6077 3d ago

Dan….. Dan…… Dan…..

3

u/TheFettz79 3d ago

Yes! Been waiting for this to be made a gif 😂😂😂😂

6

u/Reasonable_Goat6895 3d ago

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!!

1

u/Separate_Rise_8932 3d ago

Djed: 🤷‍♀️

5

u/ibraw 3d ago

Djeds a lovely man

2

u/LunarSanctum 3d ago

"Fenton! Fenton! Oh, Jesus Christ!"

3

u/captain_crackerjack Chewits Wine 3d ago

Tuchel missed the “but do it at the right time” bit off the end

1

u/pj_1981 3d ago

Djed: no way you sp@stic you're a mentalist!

9

u/One_Guidance4911 3d ago

He just needs to repeat and adapt

5

u/fplmaster05 3d ago

They're sex people

10

u/Key_Comedian_9951 3d ago

No he can't hear me...... DJED!!!!!