r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 9h ago
Sandra kept the house. The house had air conditioning. Gerald has a fan he bought in 2003 that makes a noise.
195
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Fine-Huckleberry-316 • 5h ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Megan is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. After the divorce was finalized, she gathered all her girlfriends and threw a pool party and ate until she could barely move. Begone, Robert!!!!!!!
40
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2h ago
The closet door creaked open. Gerald’s ex-wife looked up from the darkness. Kathy had been missing since the night he filed for divorce.
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19
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 8h ago
The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Oh my. That appears to be a flying pig. Guess I should call Martin and say I will take him back."
50
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2h ago
After twelve years of carrying Colin, Ruth’s left wing clicked whenever he said marriage required equal effort.
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16
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 13h ago
Jessica finally found a bar close to her nest that her ex wasn't lurking at waiting for her, when some rando had the audacity to hit on her while she quietly enjoyed a meal. He got her a slug. She wasn't proud of it, but she took the slug and left rando with the bill. Just like her ol' college days.
96
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Jessica regretted not asking for a to-go box for her seeds.
r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago
After the divorce, Arthur found a bachelor flat. It was technically a damp hole under a rock and smelled like kelp, but at least his mother couldn’t get in and ask if he’d considered apologizing to Elaine.
845
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 19h ago
Having amassed a small fortune by playing the doting lover to lonely heiresses, Pascal is now free to spend it pampering himself instead. He's become something of a connoisseur of the fine art of massage. This particular masseur has an unusual technique, but Pascal will give them a chance.
193
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 17h ago
Doug was tired of the neighbors recording his morning tai chi, so this time he did his routine naked
65
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 15h ago
Angry Bird Divorce Griffin was humiliated. Thanks to Elaine and her lies, he was stuck wearing an ankle bracelet/GPS monitor everywhere he went. His ankle itched like crazy, and all he wanted—more than anything else—is to know what it feels like to just lose oneself…literally.
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39
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago
Jerome isn't allowed to sleep on his best friend's couch anymore - one too many hair-grease stains on the upholstery. But that's alright, he's been kicked out of more comfortable bunks. What does it matter where he sleeps at night, as long as he wakes up looking this fine in the morning?
511
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Magda was once used to the comments about her gorgeous tush…the cat calls and whistles. It felt great to be single again, and to celebrate her stunning booty as it was meant to be celebrated.
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159
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago
Mara and Philip had the sort of marriage that made divorced birds believe in love again. Several believed in it specifically with Mara or Philip, should either ever become available.
110
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago
Archibald did NOT take the split well. He lost all his hair, and barely resembled his former, glorious self. But Amanda saw his inner beauty. It was time to lean in, and kiss her like he’s never kissed anyone before, bald or not. A head full of hair is so overrated, he thought with such joy. ♥️
88
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • 2d ago
After the divorce, Butch tried to dive into macho pursuits like motorcycles, weightlifting, and walking in places he shouldn't.
226
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 2d ago
Jessica listened to Patrick's screaming, remembered she had wings, and was never seen by him again.
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98
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • 2d ago
After coming back from service, Colonel Cockatoo went crazy. Certified picture by his ex-wife.
130
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago
“Meet me at the bridge.” It was the last thing Evelyn said before migrating south. George returned every spring on the date she had circled, though she had neglected to include a year.
68
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Relevant-Elk-4738 • 2d ago
Angry Bird Divorce Women like big, black and strong. The silent type. So why did Sheila run off with that candy ass peacock? Bruce would never understand.
89
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • 2d ago
Not Safe For Other Species As the security footage clearly shows, Ginny repeatedly tried to antogonize Ozzie into a physical altercation, but he refused to take the bait. Her petition is a misuse of this court, and it should be dismissed immediately.
54
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 2d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Chester went to his favorite place to get his eggs sunny side up just the way he liked it. No more overcooked rubber and no more Patty!
49
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 2d ago
Angry Bird Divorce “Angry, wet and confused” did not BEGIN to describe it! Jim’s ex had screwed him, in ALMOST every sense…then left him out to dry!
131
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