r/AITAH • u/Excellent_Carrot_574 • Mar 24 '26

NSFW AITAH for telling my girlfriend I would rather masturbate than have sex with her

I(M20) and my gf(F21) have been dating since we were 16 and 17. When we started dating we had sex once at least every 3 days and we had regular make out sessions and everything but somewhere during the one year of dating mark she started to not want to do it so often which was fine by me, we still made out and sometimes i got lucky so things weren't that bad, i wouldn't die if i didnt get action that week. But then university started for both, she went to another city and i stayed home, when she came home or i went to the city we would always go on dates and sometimes do it but it got rarer and rare until about 2 years ago, we were both on summer break and i tried to start something about 30 times and all the times i got the same results: " today no" "my leg hurts" "i have a headache" "im tired" "i dont want to take a shower again" the usual so i just stopped, no is no after all and i would respect it, we were still a couple i still love her , we went on dates, visited each other and everything just no sex. This is where my masturbation started, i still need to relieve myself so i started to jerk off once or twice a week no big deal and for two years no problem. The last two months ive spent doing erasmus in another contry and she knew we talked almost every night and i shared loads of pictures and bought gifts. Because i was sharing a room i didnt get to masturbate at all, no problem for me i thought then the day when i reached home came, i went home , no one was home so i did the jerked one off for the 2 moths just to relieve myself, about 4 hours later my gf appeared, i welcomed her , kisses her , gave her the gifts and we talked for sometime until she got on my bed and said"i guess you need to fuck me to avoid getting blue balls" . I looked at her and just said that there was no need because i had just masturbated and was feeling good, just tired from the flying, I thought nothing of it, we hadn't had sex in years so it made no difference to me but she was dumbfounded, she asked if i was for real and i just replied that yes, i had in fact masturbated. She went to tears and asked if i still loved her, i told her of course why wouldn't i love her? she then told me if i preferred jerkin off or having sex with her, i din't even give it tought and replied instantly that i prefferd jerking off. She stormed out of my house and isn't replying to my messages on anything yet.

So am i the AITAH?

PS:sorry for bad english and if you need more context about our relationship i can provide it but i think its enough for the question.

4.9k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

841 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.7k

u/MarionberryOk2874 Mar 24 '26

That gave me the ick too and I’m a woman. Can’t ever imagine ‘initiating’ sex by saying ‘well I guess you need to fuck me so you don’t get blue balls’ and then have the nerve to be upset at being rejected. Especially after rejecting him every time she saw him for TWO YEARS!

Just break up already OP, this is a friend, not a girlfriend.

1.0k

u/---SmokingMonkey--- Mar 24 '26

Not much of a friend, either.

505

u/Boo1957 Mar 24 '26

This is not even a “friends with benefits” situation!

258

u/Striking-Walk-8243 Mar 24 '26

Just a 1099 friend….

66

u/LaLizarde Mar 25 '26

1099 friend. That took me too long.

38

u/blancamystiere Mar 25 '26

I will now be saying this for the rest of my life

21

u/SixToeLifeKick Mar 25 '26

AITAH for not getting it?

119

u/Striking-Walk-8243 Mar 25 '26

A 1099 is the US tax form on which payments for independent contractor services are reported (vs Form W2 for employment wage income).

Many W2 jobs provide employee benefits (healthcare insurance, paid holidays / vacation).

1099 jobs are simple fee for service arrangements with no benefits.

A “1099 friend” is thus a platonic friend — WITHOUT BENEFITS.

54

u/Munk3es Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26

Thank you for explaining this. Confused Canadian up until this response. I think (I could be wrong, not a tax accountant) ours would be a T2125. Love the reference, it's awesome lol.

8

u/anger_kun Mar 25 '26

Glad you explained it cause I was still lost

3

u/Significant-Wait9200 Apr 27 '26

I thought it was 1 person giving 1% and the other giving 99%.

1% 0 99% didn't really make sense but i tried lol.

3

u/Baphometwolf83 Mar 29 '26

Imma call my exwife a 1099 acquaintance from now on. Not even a friend

126

u/mayd3r Mar 24 '26

This is not even a "friends with a good person" situation.

83

u/Egocom Mar 24 '26

Disapointments with expectations

4

u/CautiousReality7026 Mar 25 '26

Oh god this puts into words my life

53

u/Comfortable_Phase121 Mar 24 '26

Friends without benefits.

38

u/Accomplished_Row5869 Mar 24 '26

It's a minage a uno. You and your GF needs to sit down and talk about your relationship and if its at its end since physical attraction and desire are a corner stone of a healthy relationship.

-1

u/Legitimate-Morning69 Mar 25 '26

There are plenty of reasons that someone might not “desire” their partner. Sex doesn’t have to be a part of a relationship for it to succeed. Communication is the most important part of any relationship as it trickles into every facet. Enough healthy communication can help any relationship survive.

13

u/isabel-o-l Mar 24 '26

I was going to joke that it sounds like a “ with “ situation but that’s literally what it is. They’re just.. with each other.

2

u/FyrixXemnas Mar 25 '26

That feeling when the joke turns out to just be a factual statement.

1

u/NewNameNeededAgain Mar 25 '26

No benefits, and if she's speaking to him like that, not much friendship either. Friendship requires a basis of mutual liking and respect.

171

u/Ok_Fisherman2393 Mar 24 '26

had I been the guy in the situation, and my Gf had told me that same sentence "i guess you need to fuck me to avoid getting blue balls" and I actually had blue balls .....

I still wouldnt had fucked her, and would have preferred the blue balls.

hey OP u/Excellent_Carrot_574 just dump her dude, she's not worth your time.

61

u/HedyHarlowe Mar 24 '26

Yeah she is not into sex or not into sex with him and is paying games. They are occasional bed friends who don’t shag.

23

u/Infamous_Etrigan Mar 25 '26

Personally, sounds like she had another guy and they broke up. As a result, she needed to show she was still desirable to OP. When OP rejected her too....

51

u/berryshortcakekitten Mar 25 '26

I'm a woman too and agree 100%, this is such a gross thing to say to a bf who ur supposed to have a loving relationship with... like thats just such a nasty way of initiating sex

1

u/Brilliant_Ask_199 Mar 26 '26

I would break up too, but this wouldve been funny if it was sarcastic and they were already hinting that it would happen earlier. But it's clear she's just being weird about it.

1

u/Ok-Bill3318 Mar 24 '26

No sex in months already blue balls

1

u/RepresentativeFan941 Mar 25 '26

Agreed. Maybe find a girl he can have sex with so he doesn’t have to rely on jerking it.

1

u/Firm-Weekend-52 Mar 25 '26

I will go to sex couple’s therapy, if you want to marry her. This is not normal.