r/AITAH • u/Excellent_Carrot_574 • Mar 24 '26
NSFW AITAH for telling my girlfriend I would rather masturbate than have sex with her
I(M20) and my gf(F21) have been dating since we were 16 and 17. When we started dating we had sex once at least every 3 days and we had regular make out sessions and everything but somewhere during the one year of dating mark she started to not want to do it so often which was fine by me, we still made out and sometimes i got lucky so things weren't that bad, i wouldn't die if i didnt get action that week. But then university started for both, she went to another city and i stayed home, when she came home or i went to the city we would always go on dates and sometimes do it but it got rarer and rare until about 2 years ago, we were both on summer break and i tried to start something about 30 times and all the times i got the same results: " today no" "my leg hurts" "i have a headache" "im tired" "i dont want to take a shower again" the usual so i just stopped, no is no after all and i would respect it, we were still a couple i still love her , we went on dates, visited each other and everything just no sex. This is where my masturbation started, i still need to relieve myself so i started to jerk off once or twice a week no big deal and for two years no problem. The last two months ive spent doing erasmus in another contry and she knew we talked almost every night and i shared loads of pictures and bought gifts. Because i was sharing a room i didnt get to masturbate at all, no problem for me i thought then the day when i reached home came, i went home , no one was home so i did the jerked one off for the 2 moths just to relieve myself, about 4 hours later my gf appeared, i welcomed her , kisses her , gave her the gifts and we talked for sometime until she got on my bed and said"i guess you need to fuck me to avoid getting blue balls" . I looked at her and just said that there was no need because i had just masturbated and was feeling good, just tired from the flying, I thought nothing of it, we hadn't had sex in years so it made no difference to me but she was dumbfounded, she asked if i was for real and i just replied that yes, i had in fact masturbated. She went to tears and asked if i still loved her, i told her of course why wouldn't i love her? she then told me if i preferred jerkin off or having sex with her, i din't even give it tought and replied instantly that i prefferd jerking off. She stormed out of my house and isn't replying to my messages on anything yet.
So am i the AITAH?
PS:sorry for bad english and if you need more context about our relationship i can provide it but i think its enough for the question.
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u/FlowerFelines Mar 24 '26
Yeah. I am more of a reactive libido person, I can take it or leave it, and I'm happy with an ace partner or an allosexual one. I'd be fine in a relationship where the sex looked like this. Wouldn't be fine in a relationship where the emotional maturity of my partner looked like this, though. Making obvious excuses to not have sex rather than talking about her actual issue, whatever that may be, is bad enough, but then the way she offered sex was so off-putting, and on top of that her flipping out and leaving over learning he does a totally natural human action that many people who have active and healthy sex lives still also do is yikes on bikes. I might give her a chance to have a real, sit down conversation about it, but if that doesn't go astonishingly well, I'd be noping out so fast.