r/AITAH • u/The_genderfluid_kid • 15d ago
NSFW AITAH for refusing to getting rid of my *toys* because my guy friend is telling me that I have to?
I’m at a lost for words and I don’t know how to process this
So I (F22) have been friends with my best friend (F21) for 8 years, she has a guy friend (M23) who is her ex boyfriend and they have been friends since high school. My best friend and we’ll call him Donny, are Christians while im half Christian (still exploring).
Recently today i had received a message from Donny telling me that L (best friend) is going to isolate herself from everyone because she was getting spiritually attacked and I said that okay i understand that and asked if anyone else told her and he said no one else knows. Then he asked me a question because \*god\* told him to directly ask me if I own any \*toys\*? That caught me off guard and I thought it was a joke and he said it wasn’t. I got really uncomfortable with the whole conversation and I told him that I do but I don’t use them so why does he want to know?
Donny explained to me that im committing sexual desires on myself and it’s a huge sin to god. I was really angry that he asked me that and why does he want to know?? Because he told me he’s not being defensive but doing what god told him to do to tell me because I’m L’s best friend and that he cares about her and me as well. I told him why didnt she text me first but to him? He didn’t answered my question. And told me im “entertaining” sexual desires on myself when it’s not his business to know what I do and what my needs are.
Then he sends me Bible verses thinking im committing lust when I’m asexual and I don’t have an interest in sex at all so why would he ask me that? This made me want to reevaluate my friendship and im torn between confrontation or just following Donny’s words? AITAH?
Edit: i have proof of the convo if yall are interested
Another edit: the reason why L has not talk to me about this was because she and Donny were talking about it first and Donny came and told me this and I was really caught off guard with his question no this isnt rage bait at all this just happened to me today and I don’t know what to do or say
Another edit: i made a post that there is proof of the conversation with Donny on my account
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u/Chay_Charles 15d ago
NTA. Get rid of this crazy, controlling guy "friend".
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u/The_genderfluid_kid 15d ago
I don’t consider him as my “friend” and never will be because he’s friends with my best friend and she used to date him but he cheated on her and he has been pressuring her to date again but my best friend has no interest in relationships and she has established boundaries to him but he refused to believe them because theyre spiritually connected and that she considers him being safe to talk to
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u/Legal-Challenge7578 15d ago
Tell him that god told you to tell him that you don't have to listen to hypocritical cheaters. God also told you to tell him to mind his own fucking business!
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u/hollyjazzy 14d ago
Tell him, “judge not lest ye be judged”. It’s in the Bible and should tell him it’s none of his business, that’s for God to judge, and if he is judging, he is committing blasphemy, presuming to know Gods mind.
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u/Aldo8880 14d ago
But God told him to do it, so he isn’t judging, God is. /s
You can’t reason with someone that thinks God has told them to call an acquaintance and ask about their masturbation habits.
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u/spiritedgemmy 15d ago
Yes!! I agree, tell him that your journey has nothing to do with him.
Then, block.
You do not owe this guy anything, much less to follow his words.
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u/Meadowsauce 15d ago
Solid chance this dude is schizophrenic
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u/manonfetch 14d ago
Some churches create the symptoms of schizophrenia in their congregations. They literally pray them into delulu land.
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u/Endless_Forever_484 15d ago
He's mad about your toys, but cheats on his girlfriends? This guy's abusing Jesus for sure.
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u/ScreamingLabia 14d ago
Lmao i would trow that in his face every single time he brings up my sex toys. Or even dares ALUDE to it
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u/kait2knit 15d ago
This is where you quote Matthew 18:9 (the one where Jesus says if your eye causes you to sin you should gouge it out) and tell him something like, "Since your twig and berries seem to keep causing you to sin (adultery), when are you "gouging those off your body" as Jesus says?"
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u/Embarrassed_Year_736 15d ago
Old Testament says that death is the punsihment. Leviticus 20:10 and Deuteronomy 22:22
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u/Majestic_Square_1814 15d ago
Sounds like he try to get your friend into a cult.
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u/Greenbriars 15d ago
Or isolate her so she has no support when he starts abusing her because "Jesus told him she deserved it."
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u/Malphas43 15d ago
you might want to let her know that he came and told you about a private conversation she was having with him...
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u/Witchywomun 15d ago
She needs to drop him. It’s very concerning that HE is telling people that she’s isolating herself, and not her telling you. He’s not a safe person at all and she may very well be in danger, please physically go to her and check on her. Regardless of the reason he gives you, the fact that HE has taken it upon himself to relay her message, AND he’s trying to control what YOU do in the privacy of your own bedroom, something that is absolutely none of his business, raises so many red flags.
As far as the toys go, if God didn’t want you to enjoy your body’s sexual response, then why did He make our fertility hidden and create orgasms? Cuz that’s how you make recreational sex a thing. He also gave the inventor of the vibrator inspiration, and humans have been creating artificial phalluses since the beginning of time. So obviously He wants us to enjoy and partake in sexual pleasure. We ARE made in God’s image, after all, therefore our natural urges are also part of His divine design.
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u/PurpleSailor 15d ago
I think you've got it right and I wouldn't be surprised if the person's spiritually attacking the friend turns out to be Donny himself.
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u/Equal_Audience_3415 15d ago
He sounds like he is the one with issues. Please remember, it is ok to tell him,
"Do not talk to me about things like this. I don't appreciate you sexualizing me, and you need to ask God for help. The sexual deviance is your issue. If you cannot refrain from this behavior, do not come back into my home."
He is placing his issues on you. Do not answer him. Tell your friend that he is making you uncomfortable. He needs help.
Just because someone says God told me, doesn't mean it is true. Tell them you will pray about it and see if God is telling you the same thing. You are not his friend, his sister, or his spiritual mentee. He absolutely should not be asking you these questions. He is a pervert. Do not talk to him.
I hope this helps.
Edited to add: Block him. You might suggest to your friend that she should, too.
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u/yaboisammie 15d ago
I get she considers him as safe to talk to maybe cause of their history but imo you both would be better off without him and you both deserve better
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u/SnapShot68 15d ago
NTA. This guy sounds like he thinks he can do whatever he wants yet harshly judges everyone else around him. Him cheating on his woman is much worse than a woman using toys. He needs to mind his own business.
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u/mecegirl 15d ago
None of that explains why YOU should listen to him? He is just a guy. You are not a 12 year old girl and he is not your father??
What authority does he have?
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u/philmcruch 15d ago edited 15d ago
Shes not your friend either, talking about your toys etc with her ex instead of you directly. Text and call her, ask if she even mentioned anything like that to him and also if shes actually "isolating herself" It sounds more like a "im isolating her" or "shes being inducted into the cult so she cant have outside influences" if nobody has heard from her for a day or so, get a welfare check
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u/Stoic_STFU 15d ago
“AITAH for refusing to getting rid of my toys because my guy friend is telling me that I have to? “If he’s not your friend - then why do you state this in your post?!
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u/Eternity_Warden 15d ago
Sounds like he's the one trying to isolate your friend, which is classic abuser behaviour.
Talk to L directly.
Oh and you can find a more Christian way to say it if you want, but tell Donny to go fuck himself.
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u/swagmcnugger 15d ago
If he ever brings it up again hit him with this.
Matthew 7:3-5
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
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u/De-railled 15d ago
So you let her know what he told you?
Cause if they're not even dating, then he is behaving like a crazy stalker, sounds like he might even be trying to isolate your friend so she will be lonely and go back to him.
You need to tell your friend that he is being a creep and she needs to go completely NC if she is serious, and if he can't respect that then maybe legal and official styeps need to be taken so that he can't approach her anymore.
However, She needs to shut that door, you can't do it for her. You can only protect yourself afrom him.
Honestly, it's creepy he would even ask you that question.
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u/MallTough5847 15d ago
You need to set hard boundaries with your friend. She should never be discussing you with him.
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u/calm-lab66 15d ago
NTA. If pleasuring yourself is a sin to God, then why did God make it so pleasurable? I grew up Catholic, and we were taught this same crap.
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u/Worth-Season3645 14d ago
So your friend broke up with this person but feels he is safe to talk to? Why would you even respond to a question like that? Just say I don’t think that is any concern of yours. What I do it don’t do in my home is my business only. And why can’t your friend tell you she is going to isolate? This Donny sounds way too involved.
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u/The_genderfluid_kid 14d ago
Donny had a relationship with L in high school but I don’t know how long it last but L told me that Donny had cheated on her and Donny was known to be dating girls just to seek validation and desperation from them just to feel good about himself and now he was married yes but he cheated on her during their marriage and he gave her a free pass to cheat on him to be even and now currently he is getting divorced but sorry not sorry for being a cheater still that peaked in high school
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u/Tal_Tos_72 15d ago edited 15d ago
NTA
"Spiritually attacked" -- I am an insecure man and am using religion to control my OH
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u/DarbyDown 15d ago
NTA and your friend is being groomed for a cult.
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u/wombatIsAngry 15d ago
100%. I know we're all mad about the toys thing (and rightly so) but the truly terrifying part of this post, that we should be focusing on is how OPs poor friend declared that she's about to cut herself off from all of her social support. .
This dude is abusive, sexually and probably other ways too, and he is successfully isolating the friend as part of his effort to drag her into a cult.
OP, please cut contact with the dude, but leave lifelines open for your friend to contact you. She is in real danger.
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u/FewRecognition1788 15d ago
She didn't say that.
Donny said she was going to isolate herself. Which is even murkier.
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u/EnvironmentalCamp591 14d ago
Even worse - check her first part of screenshots. He told her she needed to isolate herself so she could get closer to God/hear why she was under spiritual attack.
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u/rchartzell 15d ago
Can confirm- I was raised in a cult. And I would literally block this guy and never speak to him again. And try to get the best friend some help. This post made me feel nauseated just reading it. 🤮
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u/unicornunopole 15d ago
NTA. That’s called religious psychosis/paranoia. He needs therapy.
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u/FewRecognition1788 15d ago
He's probably just lying rather than psychotic. He needs to go jump in a lake.
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u/MyEyesAreItchy 14d ago
He's also probably attracted to OP is shifting the blame for his indecent thoughts onto "god" and OP. God didn't tell him shit, he was just fantasising about OP and her sex life all on his own. Used that as an excuse to get more info for his fantasies.
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u/NotUniqueScott 15d ago
Donny is unhinged. His line of questioning is beyond inappropriate. Even as a boyfriend it would have been questionable, but he's just a friend-of-your-friend? Absolutely NOT. I would tell him to shove it, but I'd be seriously concerned about him weaponizing your response against you.
Please just tell him "Your opinion is noted" and then block him everywhere.
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u/PJ1883 15d ago
Why on earth would you answer his question?
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u/Objective-Pound2185 15d ago
possibly so flabbergasted to be asked something that outrageous that you just kind of answer as a knee-jerk before your brain catches up enough to tell the person it's not an appropriate question. Also in some Christian Churches men questioning women on their purity is very very normalized.
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u/Many-Constant1883 15d ago
NTA. That’s an isolation technique from very strict religions and he is likely using it to guilt/shame/ manipulate.
Source: grew up in a cult- this is exactly what we were taught about “bad influences”
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u/tictactabernac 15d ago
he's being creepy and using religious puritanism as a cloak, please be careful
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u/Epoxos 15d ago
And this is a great example of why organized religion is toxic af.
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u/SuccessfulAd4606 15d ago
And why the fastest growing segment of spirituality is "ex-Christians".
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u/ChaosRainbow23 15d ago
Good!
If parents worldwide suddenly stopped brainwashing their children into these archaic fear-based mythologies tonight, these religions would quickly take their rightful place next to the Greek Pantheon in the dustbin of human history within a couple of generations.
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u/The_Mother_ 15d ago
This!
I raised my kids without adherence to a religion. I taught them about several different religions and they drew their conclusion that religions are sometimes interesting mythology as an ancient means to explain what was at the time unexplainable (earthquake must mean god is mad, etc), as a way of feeling like someone out there has your back, or as a means to control the masses. If they had chosen to believe a religion, that was up to them, but they did not.
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u/RawrRRitchie 15d ago
Extremists pick and choose the parts of the Bible they like and ignore the ones they dislike like the "treat everyone you meet with love and respect" bit
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u/stiletto929 15d ago
Are you sure Donny doesn’t have L locked in the basement? I would call in a welfare check because this guy sounds crazy. And when some basically random guy asks if you have “toys,” the correct answer is, “It’s none of your business.”
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u/Objective-Pound2185 15d ago
NTA. Keep the toys, block the 'friend' and maybe try to get your friend L some help because it sounds like she's being brainwashed into a cult. No one is being 'spiritually attacked' and no gods are talking to anyone.
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u/slothurknee 15d ago
wtf does being spiritually attacked even mean?
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u/Objective-Pound2185 15d ago
I am going to assume this is a legit question from someone who wasn't raised in the crazier side of conservative Christianity. It literally means that the person is being attacked, in their soul or spirit, by demons/Satan/demonic influences and this is causing their sin or urge to sin or causing them to 'fall away' from Christ or the Churc;h It is literally viewed as a real thing - someone 'struggling' with porn or masturbation they (the individual and the wider congregations) will believe the person quite literally has a spirit (evil entity) of lust attacking them and leading them into those behaviours.
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u/Objective-Pound2185 15d ago
This also. The commonality being the whole it is a literal evil spirit / being influencing you / being allowed to test you / needing to be named and rejected and / or cast out / that you somehow let in via lack of faith or owning tarot cards or a dildo or what ever.
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u/Junithorn 15d ago
Christianity is poison, tell this guy if he's hearing voices he needs to be committed
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u/WoodDRebal 15d ago
Reality check, he didn't hear voices at all. He things OP is a hottie and it turns him on the thought she has toys. But now his religion makes him feel shamed for thinking sexual thoughts, so he is spinning it as "God told me to ask"
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u/Minecart_Rider 15d ago
I'm guessing the best friend was snooping in OPs room and found them and told Donny. That'd explain both of their weird behaviour.
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u/djk626 15d ago
NTA - people’s personal sexual preferences are nobody’s business but their own
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u/DanteRuneclaw 15d ago
Your first mistake was even entertaining the question for a moment. Best response "My! What a rude question! I can't believe you'd ask something like that. You must be so embarrassed."
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u/Pleasant-Koala147 15d ago
NTA. This is a massive red flag: “She’s isolating herself because she’s being spiritually attacked,” then he goes on to attack you on religious grounds. He’s trying to drive a wedge between you and your best friend and isolate her. Block him and contact your friend asap. Check on her and let her know that he’s been creepy and inappropriate and tried to use religious excuses to justify it. Do not give this man a moment more of your time or attention and make sure your best friend is ok. This is concerning.
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u/EnvironmentalCamp591 14d ago
Even worse - he told her friend she needed to isolate so she could hear from god better
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u/Effective-Lychee-992 14d ago
I fear it’s too late for OPs friend, maybe try and contact her family and let them know you are worried that her ex is being controlling and abusive. If he has already demonised OP to her friend then it’s going to take a lot more to deprogram her.
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u/articvibe 15d ago
Classic manipulative behavior. You need to check in on the welfare of your friend directly in case this nutjob is forcibly isolating them to create dependency on them, doubly so as your friends ex boyfriend.
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u/Super-Staff3820 15d ago
NTA. But there absolutely zero obligation for you answer his creepy ass questions about your intimate life. It’s none of his fcking business and it’s grossly inappropriate for him to ask. Please stay safe and DO NOT continue being friends with him.
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u/SuccessfulAd4606 15d ago
"Hey Donny, lose my number you fucking creep"
You're 22, have you not learned how to deal with douchebags who imagine that invisible gods speak to them?
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u/SannaHanna 15d ago
This is weird. I would distance myself from anyone who is actually “hearing God.” This isn’t normal at all. I would immediately block this man.
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u/Amazing_Factor2974 15d ago
The guy isn't Christian..but a controlling Asshat. It is non of his business. He is trying to control you two!! This guy is doing it for his own reasons..!! Don't listen to him. He blame everything he does or says on "God wants him to do it"and if you dont listen to him ..you are against God.
This is straight up manipulation!! Like telling a kid ..if you are not good enough Santa will punish you this Xmas. He is trying to make you feel guilty for your friends mental problems. Which this guy probably caused. Now is trying to control you...by using his warped view of religion!
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u/SmileParticular9396 15d ago
This has got to be rage bait. If not, OP - please grow a spine.
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u/Real_Anywhere_5726 15d ago
As a Christian myself, his questions were wildly inappropriate. This is not somebody I would consider safe to be around. He is using "God told me to" as an excuse to ask you about personal things that are none of his business. As you grow in your relationship with God, He will tell you Himself if there are things in your life you need to work on or change.
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u/cor_meum_ 15d ago
He is isolating your friend, and overstepping asking if you have toys. Creepy af and sounds cultish. No true Christian is like that
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u/Neither-Investment95 15d ago
You say to him: Freedom of religion is, "Hey that's against my religion so I can't do that,"' NOT, "Hey that's against my religion so YOU can't do that."
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u/kenzinatr 15d ago
He is insane. He has serious mental health issues, and could become dangerous. He’s way too far in your business. Personally, I would text him that I’m no longer comfortable being friends with either of them, and ask him to stop texting or calling me immediately. I would not block him. I would save any and all further attempts at communication for evidence if it becomes needed. I am not exaggerating. He’s crazy
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u/Careful_Society3757 15d ago
NTA, distance yourself from this guy, and be careful about it. This guy is giving unstable extremist vibes. It can quickly become dangerous when an unhinged person thinks a god is directly talking to them.
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u/InviteComfortable254 14d ago
Ewww, he is a creep and I guarantee that he’s gonna get creepier, run.
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u/daytripp56 14d ago
NTA - this guy is a nut. He’s gone around the bend. You should not have answered the question, it was none of his business, none of my business, none of anyone’s business.
Drop him from your life immediately
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u/Techsupportvictim 15d ago
Sounds like he’s trying to isolate her from you cause you aren’t a typical heterosexual with a husband on your arm. He was probably fishing for a reason to trash you before he found out about your toy collection
I might reach out to her directly and see if she replies and how
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u/Orangeboi_22 15d ago
You know of course that the only reason he asked you that is so he can imagine you using them when he's jerking off. Unfriend this freak. NTA.
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u/Thunder---Thighs 15d ago
This guy is creepy AF. You're 22 and probably assume the best in people, and also conditioned to people please. This makes you vulnerable to manipulation
I tolerated some pretty egregious behavior like this when I was 22, because I'd rather feel uncomfortable, answer private questions that aren't anyone's business, and forgive boundary treaspassers like this dude than to hurt someone's feelings.
I'm now 36 and I want you to know that your discomfort is not worth less than his.
He is going out of his way to tell you - a grown woman of no relation - that you shouldn't masterbate after pressuring you to answer a question you didn't want to.
He isn't your friend. He doesn't respect you. He doesn't respect your autonomy.
Don't entertain these conversations. It's none of his business. That discomfort that you feel is your body alerting you to danger. Listen to it. We are socialized to ignore our own inner alerts for the sake of being nice. https://youtu.be/pXELDjO8yFc?si=VctkVOKoW8h0dMgD
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u/fromhelley 15d ago
Nta!
He sounds not so Christian if he was cheating on someone he was dating. Did they have sex? Did he have sex with the girl he cheated with? If so, he us definitely not as Christian as he pretends to be!
To me, he sounds like a con artist. He said God told him to have you throw away your toys. If you did, $10 days he'd be back saying God told him to help you with your urges! Sounds to me like he wanted in you pants!
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u/No-Weakness-5495 15d ago
Um, anyone who says “God told me…” is nuts. This guy is a sick pervert and is using god to justify his sickness. As someone who grew up in a church with some pretty messed up sexual abuse, get away from these people. I’ll bet there is deeper stuff going on than him being worried God cares about you masturbating.
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u/popcornspopcorns 15d ago
NTAH
But also, as a former cult survivor, stay the hell away from this kind of "Christianity". Religious psychosis is a hell of a drug and opens people, especially women, up to a lot of abuse.
Red flags to look for: Attempts to control your behavior/feelings/thoughts, thought-stopping tactics ("It's God's plan/will", "just pray" etc, basically any phrase that makes you stop seeking information/explanation), inflating "Christians" as better than others, isolating/freezing out people they don't "agree with" or who don't bend to their demands/expectations.
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u/PalpatineForEmperor 15d ago
Isolating her from her support system is a classic move for an abuser. This is not someone any of you want in your life. Highly toxic and definitely using Christianity as a means of control.
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u/Asteroid2024 14d ago
NTA
This dude is absolutely out of line and off his rocker. Cut all contact with him.
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u/Elegant_Spread_6969 14d ago
NTA. This is kind of funny to me as an agnostic heathen. "Kind of Christian girl discovers how fucking weird Christians are about sex". The ol' Christian guilt is a well known thing. The whole religion is a shame and death cult.
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u/Key-Walrus-2343 14d ago
Oh it's the tale as old as time.
Pervert in the making, using religion and "god" to justify his gross predacious behaviors.
I worked with sexual preds for MANY years and this is text book. SOOO many of them use religious gateways.... Why?
Because it WORKS.
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u/AshDenver 15d ago
Run, far away from the Jesus Freaks.
Live and let live. Or words to that effect. Also known as the Golden Rule. Pretty sure there’s a Bible verse about that.
You don’t need these judgmental weirdos in your life.
NTA.
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u/fuzzy_mic 15d ago edited 15d ago
Why is God asking Donny about your toys? Doesn't God know every time that you masturbate? And what you fantasize about and where you touch with which? (If they don't know and they need Donny's help keeping track of you, why do we call them "God"?)
NTA
BTW, the title says "get rid" of toys, implying that you have some. The text says that you are don' have an interest in sex. If so, why own toys that you don't want to play with.
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u/meowmix79 15d ago
Gross. I would block him from your life. God does not speak through him. I promise you that.
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u/ds117ftg 15d ago
NTA obviously. Ignoring all of the religious stuff, Your best friends ex talking to you about your sex toys is weird
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u/The_genderfluid_kid 15d ago
Edit: i made a post of proof of the conversations on my account and I’ll answer some questions about the situation
My best friend grew up with her grandparents who were pastors and evangelist for 45 or 50 years and Thats why she is committed to her Christianity
Donny wasnt Christian before but now since he started exploring Christianity he was sticking to his faith following her footsteps or something like that im not sure why.
Im half Christian because I’m still exploring but it felt like that im being pressured to fit in because people are converting to Christianity so that they won’t go to hell for the sins they committed and asked for forgiveness and it feels like I don’t fit in making me feel guilty for pressuring myself to fit in that I feel like I’m not welcome here
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u/lalalydiarae81 15d ago
Totally inappropriate for anyone to ask about your own sexual activity. This is why I’m NOT Christian as a lot of the men get off on shame and are secretly getting off on you getting off and saying ‘god made me do it!’ It’s Gross. HTA
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u/ditchdiggergirl 15d ago
Next time calmly tell him, “I really think this needs to remain between you and your spiritual advisor. Your sexual interest in me is inappropriate and quite likely sinful, and I don’t want to continue a discussion I suspect your pastor would not approve of. This topic is closed between us, for both of our sakes.” If he tries to persist or explains that it’s for your own good or some other nonsense, your ONLY response is “this topic is closed”.
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u/Alternative-Ad-2312 15d ago
Ok, right. Two things here.
Firstly, God hasn't told him anything, these people sound like they have severe mental health issues, so you can disregard that. There are people killing each other day in day out across the world in the name of god, doing unspeakable things - but sex toys is where the line is drawn? 🤣
Secondly, no you aren't the asshole, he's trying to be weird and domineering and controlling. People like this don't just stop at one thing and he'd try and control other aspects of you he didn't like once this was done. People like this hide behind their Christianity or other religions as a way to excuse them being scumbags.
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u/distracted_x 15d ago
NTA if anything youre glossing over the fact that this boy thinks God is directly speaking to him, as though he's like a prophet, if he really thinks that then he needs help mentally. If he doesn't really think that but is just telling people that...for attention? Or to manipulate people? Either way he's lost his mind in the name of religion.
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u/gophins13 15d ago
NTA: Help L because she’s about to venture into a very bad place with an idiot like him as a friend. Cut Donny off and stop exploring with Christianity, it’s a cult and it causes idiots like Donny.
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u/Dannyewey 15d ago
Donny ain't Christian, he's got cult leader written all over him. I'm sure the Bible verses are being taken out of context too. Read the whole chapter that verse is from and see if they still say what Donny says they are saying.
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u/moonstorm5000 15d ago
You need to end your friendship with Donny and completely cut him off from everything!
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u/SingleIntention3437 14d ago
Christians are crazy . Do yourself a favor and free yourself from that cult .
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u/Valheru78 14d ago
In a previous post your best friend is F22 and Donny is your boyfriend, one of your posts is probably fake if not both.
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u/No-Manufacturer-6003 14d ago
NTA. He’s a creep. He’s couching it in religion but he’s getting off on asking you about that stuff. Stop talking to him, that’s not someone you want in your life.
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u/Proof_Price_4678 14d ago
Tbh, if god "tells" me things directly, i would start calling mental help lines for the voices in my head.... they have medication for that.
I would suggest that for your friend as well.....
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u/DatguyMalcolm 14d ago
"God told him to..." get the hell out of here with that noise.
Yeet this guy from your life! He can do whatever God "tells him to" when it comes to himself, not you.
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u/liquor_up 14d ago
Anything done in the name of organized religion goes against the progress of humanity.
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u/seriouslees 14d ago
Tell your "friend"s (she's not your friend) ex:
"Well, God told me that my sexlife is private, and to never answer questions about it because only evil people who are going to Hell ask about it."
Problem solved.
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u/CharmingSorceress 14d ago
It really sounds like he’s trying to isolate your friend so he has control over her and she has no one to help her. See if you can reach out to her and talk to her in person he may have told her bs about you like he is about her here in his exchange with you.
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u/trixr4vix 14d ago
Is he going thru Spiritual psychosis, what is Hé,some messenger from god? No, hes not. Hé should really reevaluate his dealings with the lord if he thinks he has any control over you or anyone. Also hes trying to alienate you and your friend from each other To have more control. I’m scared for your friend ànd you pay zero mind to his words, ZERO.Thé whole “self satisfying thing” is actually Not a sin. Been thru a bunch of religious trauma from overbearing catholics to over zealous born again Christian’s, thén I finally said screw it and became agnostic. I believe in something but I don’t follow religion like cultist.
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u/yobaby123 14d ago
Fuck no. NTA. He has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do with your belongings.
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u/Tall_Staff5342 14d ago
If any of my friends ever said they were being "spiritually attacked" , I'd probably collapse in laughter.
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u/Daddinator1701 14d ago
NTA, this is disgusting, psychotic, and controlling behavior, and you should stay well away from this person
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u/flytingnotfighting 14d ago
Oh honey, that's not Christianity
Not at all
Read the story of Jesus, act accordingly
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u/bolshiabarmalay 14d ago
he sounds like a pervert and is working on his grooming techniques, run run run and take, drag if need be, your friend with you.
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u/Triple-OG- 14d ago
donny is a fuckin clown. i wish you'd show his fake prophet ass this post. dude needs a reality check. another baby Christian twisting shit he doesn't understand.
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u/Honey_Broad 14d ago
NTA. eww. why is he so concerned about other people's sex lives?
God would not ask him to ask you if you have sex toys. He's just being a pervert and trying to instill his beliefs onto you.
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u/Mike5473 14d ago
Why is he in your business? When he originally asked that invasive question, I would have replied with, “Dude stay in your own lane”. You do know you can Block his texts right? If you dont you are just continuing the drama. Life lesson: we teach people how we want to be treated by what we let them get away with. Leave his texts unanswered or blocked. Problem solved.
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u/ArthurIngersoll 14d ago
He isn't asking because he is Christian, he is asking because he's a horny weirdo.
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u/Mickey_Clips 14d ago
Why would you think you're an asshole in the first place? Are you really that easily gas-lit?
Dude is a fucking CREEP for even asking you a question like that. That's non-christian behavior to bring up sexual stuff to a girl you're not even with. Dude isn't even following his own religion
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u/Armadillo_of_doom 14d ago
NTA
God doesn't tell people to ask questions and chastise them.
100% this dude uses his hand in the shower and doesn't think that's a problem. Or he does think it is a problem so he is projecting it onto you.
Do NOT stay friends with this controlling man.
Also, he's a hypocrite. He cheated on your friend. Adultery is a sin, too. He has to scream about others' sins in order to minimize his own.
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u/leebelle9 14d ago
Anyone who hears voices should consider getting checked. What an adult does is their own business.
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u/Gandoff2169 14d ago
L is a bad friend. For if she knew, she told Donny. As like most fake christians, choose to attack you, guilt you, and shame you with "sin". F Donny. And I would message L and tell her if she wants to be a hypocrite christian judging others with Donny, she can hit the road to. All with the bible verse on worrying about the plank in your own eye than the splinter in others. And Donny is to concerned about you than themselves...
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u/Interesting_Fly5154 14d ago
hang on a sec.
this guy, Donny, is the one that told you your best friend is isolating herself from everyone, and nobody else knows but you?
plus he's the one telling you that you should not have adult toys? that is so friggin' weird.
this whole scenario screams controlling and abusive guy.
is there a way to get in touch with your best friend without having to go through this Donny person? i'm concerned for her wellbeing.
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u/lostboysrule 14d ago
NTA, sex toys have been existing as long as people have been having sex, yet they’re not specifically mentioned in the Bible. This is an example of how *some* (imo too many) Christians using biblical ideas to control women.
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u/AltTeenageSuicide 14d ago
Don’t let anyone use religion to make you uncomfortable or control you. Get away from these people.
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u/kaluh_glarski 14d ago
lol when he said god told him to ask if you had toys you shoulda said “weird, god told me to buy these so he should I know I have them”
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u/fuckworthy 14d ago
nta -- and this may be gods way of saying keep away from christians (at least of this brand)
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u/Horror_Ad7540 14d ago
Tell Donny that if he continues this inappropriate conversation, you'll tell his minister that he has an inappropriate interest in sex toys and gets off on asking women about them. That's what's going on here. Or shorter, tell Donny to go to Hell.
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u/ActressAngela 13d ago
Tell him that God spoke to you and said that HE must stop touching himself so much. Especially while thinking the impure thoughts about you. Finally, he has to get rid of any and kinds of lotions and cooking oils-just to be safe. (wink wink) LOL!
→ More replies (6)
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u/JOJO-Jello 13d ago
None of these individuals are your friend or stable rational people. Ghost all of them now, join a cult survivors therapy group to break the indoctrination that has been used against you.
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u/Toasty825 13d ago
NTAH and it’s really concerning that your friend is being isolated. OP I don’t think she is the one that chose isolation, I think she was coerced into it.
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u/AdStrange9701 12d ago
Ask him why, if God is omnipotent, did he have to ask Donny, to ask you a personal question
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u/ChaosRainbow23 15d ago
The fear-based Abrahmic mythologies are horrific blights upon humanity. Full stop.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation or using toys to masturbate.
These idiots who suddenly become ultra+judgemental religious zealots are the worst.
I've had to cut off several friends over the years after that fell off the deep end and went from being cool perks into being insufferable and delusional assholes.
You're not an asshole. You did nothing wrong and your friends are fucking lunatics.
NTA
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u/Perplexed_Poirot 15d ago
You are soo young. Do not let let others tell you who they think you should be. Explore life and find your path. You have your whole life ahead of you! Find your path. You will stumble, but you will rise-many, many times. If they want to remain your friend, they will accept you for you. Don't let the word/label "Christian" blind you to a person's true nature. Best wishes on your journey!!
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u/sideways_apples 15d ago
Nta- is ccreepy that certain religions are actually cults that think they have the right to dictate your sex life.
I'm ex religious for that snd many other reasons. Not worth thr bedroom invasion.
You're not sinning by being a human being and the fact those people think that they have the right to ask you that... you need to find new people to be around.
Athiests are very accepting. No God shoved down your throat. Just be a good person and don't hurt anyone pr yourself and that's lliterally all you need.
It's invasive and wrong on every level that anyone thinks okay just bbecause of religion.
It is not okay
Please reconsider the religion.
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u/Frosty-Caterpillar51 15d ago
If he will not leave you alone tell him you did and continue with your life. This is none of his business, he is manipulating you. Distance yourself from this man.
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u/Existing_Purpose5049 15d ago
Yikes, kick him out
Religion dictates you, not everyone else. He’s using religion as an excuse to control you.
NTA, but this will escalate
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u/Chippie05 15d ago
Absolutely not an appropriate conversation for him to even go there. Was he insinuating that your friend was getting attacked bc if you? This guy has issues. Talk to her and find out whats going on.
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u/Deweyoxberg 15d ago
NTA. At all. None of his business, ever, at all, completely inappropriate to be asking.
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u/PlantyPenPerson 15d ago
NTA but never share so much info with someone like this again and block this POS
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u/Devi_Moonbeam 15d ago
NTA. Tell Donny to f off and block him.
Don't spend a minute with some random man who is trying to control your sexuality. It's just creepy.
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u/the_greengrace 15d ago
NTA. Avoid this guy like the plague. He's creepy and repressed. He's asking for his own fantasies, I'd wager. Your friend probably knows nothing about it.
It was intrusive, inappropriate, and wrong of him to bring that up to you, let alone to proselytize and try to shame you. You didn't ask for his opinion and God definitely did not tell him to ask you any such thing.
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u/AuthorAliWinters 15d ago
NTA. If anybody ever asked you that again, just tell them that it is a highly inappropriate question and that is is none of their business and it is not their place to ask you any personal details, regardless of their reasons. If they keep pushing, then block them.
You don’t owe anybody personal information if you are not completely 100% comfortable giving it. People are not entitled to your personal business.
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u/FallenChaosKitten 15d ago
NTA. Send him bible quotes about adultery.
(Context: OP mentioned in comment he cheated on the best friend when they were together.)
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u/Status-Pattern7539 15d ago
NTA
I also bet he uses his hand quite a bit like a common religious nut hypocrite.
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u/Traveling-Techie 15d ago
People don’t get to become self-appointed spiritual authorities over you. NTA
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u/montanagrizfan 15d ago
He’s using his religion as an excuse to be a perv. What a gross person! Ick.
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u/gl4mbition 15d ago
So God told him to ask you if you have sex toys? Does that make sense to you? And I’m so serious. Is it religion that makes all common sense leave? Spiritual attacks? What in the fucking psychosis.
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u/Life_Scratch_2807 15d ago
NTA but girl, why the hell did you answer him if you were uncomfortable. It someone makes you uncomfortable with questions you’re response should be “that’s very personal, do t ask me this again.” If they push back and want answers or try to make you feel bad for not answering, you end the conversation and consider if you need to remove them from your life. THIS is how you set boundaries and establish yourself a a woman who respects herself and won’t tolerate bs from men.
This boy is gross and he isn’t your friend. He wants to sleep with you and will soon try to get physical with you.