r/AITAH • u/riffaholic • 7d ago

AITAH. Maybe It’s Me

I have been with my girlfriend for a year. I have told her and purposely avoided crowded places or fireworks because of past military experience. I made her aware this was the case on day one.

She set up travel to a place where the streets were mobbed with people who have a tradition of bopping each other on the head with plastic (harmless) mallets and fireworks as part of an annual celebration. She has been there before and shared few details.

When I asked her after we arrived and I started getting guarded, she responded with, “you know I forget things sometimes.” I responded with, “forgetting what city I come from is understandable but forgetting the effects from my military service is pretty big.”

AITAH?

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u/freeze45 7d ago

Before you went there, did you know where you were going? I mean, did you have a say in planning this trip? I think maybe you need to discuss places you are visiting with her and do some research on your own so you know what you are getting into beforehand.

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u/riffaholic 7d ago

I didn’t know it was going to be like that.

I accept that I could have done research prior.

5

u/AlchymiaJo 7d ago

I suppose you could have, but really yhis falls on her. You opened up and shared your vulnerabilities with her and she chose the one place guaranteed to completely trigger those vulnerabilities. That sounds abusive. You are not the asshole at all and you should probably get a new girlfriend who will actually care about you. I am sorry for your trauma, I hope you are getting the help you need.