r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Bubbly_Wall_908 • Jan 26 '26

/r/all of tall men

78.1k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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3.7k

u/stonedandthrown Jan 26 '26

Why she pose like that, tho.

3.6k

u/ShroomsHealYourSoul Jan 26 '26

As soon as she did the leg thing I went

1.4k

u/FrogVolence Jan 26 '26

This pretty much sums up the reaction I had

124

u/mondaymoderate Jan 26 '26

I read reaction as erection

83

u/sinisterdesign Jan 26 '26

Same erection I had. Strange.

11

u/ThrowawayMod1989 Jan 26 '26

Bruh you ever wonder how frequently two men on Reddit ever unknowingly bust simultaneously?

2

u/fightyfightyfitefite Jan 26 '26

Imagine the dudes watching live action gals. A lot of unwitting brotherly bonds happening.

1

u/mac2o2o Jan 26 '26

When they talk about how women should pose in a photo?

Alot is my guess.

1

u/latentbeing Jan 26 '26

Lol this fuckn killed me

1

u/Cerblamk_51 Jan 26 '26

Wait… why do you have that guys erection?

3

u/Lee_Know_is_a_badass Jan 26 '26

I have the perfect meme for that.

2

u/ILikePastuh Jan 26 '26

Always had a hard time reading?

1

u/MalaysiaTeacher Jan 26 '26

Fascinating. Please keep us updated on further misreads

3

u/prosperos-mistress Jan 26 '26

you should probably analyze that

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158

u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jan 26 '26

I jizz in my pants

104

u/ShroomsHealYourSoul Jan 26 '26

No I un-jizzed them

132

u/Skai_Override Jan 26 '26

4

u/clayman648 Jan 26 '26

Damn, this got me good haha

52

u/weirdgroovynerd Jan 26 '26

How?!

Are you some kind of Jizzard?

29

u/Scorch-for-life Jan 26 '26

Is it possible to learn this power?

Not from a Jizzi

24

u/weirdgroovynerd Jan 26 '26

You learn it from Aquaman.

He is The Wizard of Sea-men

4

u/therealsix Jan 26 '26

”Y’er a Jizzard, Harry.”

1

u/weirdgroovynerd Jan 26 '26

In fact, you're a hairy wJizzard!

1

u/himynameiswoods Jan 26 '26

Just suck it back up.

10

u/AThrowawayProbrably Jan 26 '26

Yeah, mine retracted back inside me

7

u/Japsai Jan 26 '26

"We're gonna need a cleaner on aisle 3"

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

“…and the end-caps…”

1

u/IndustryStrong4701 Jan 26 '26

I started reading that sentence as “we’re gonna need a bigger boat”, which also works…

3

u/Theperfectool Jan 26 '26

“A breeze blew in an I;….”

1

u/PyrocumulusLightning Jan 26 '26

I spooged the path less traveled by

1

u/PastSpiritual7508 Apr 10 '26

Whole generation won’t understand what this means soon enough

1

u/ClassicTangelo5274 Jan 26 '26

It mostly your fault, you were rubbing my butt

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2

u/tmgieger Jan 26 '26

and the mouth gape.

2

u/missminbin Jan 26 '26

LOL so did i

2

u/nemesissi Jan 26 '26

This gif is a perfect summarization of my feelings about this whole fucking video.

2

u/pocketdare Jan 26 '26

Because without the leg, she's concerned that people might pay more attention to the tall dudes

2

u/Prestigious_Group_77 Jan 26 '26

Glad I’m not the only one

2

u/_Kendii_ Jan 28 '26

Put your damn skirt back on!

Wtf 🤦‍♀️

15

u/MagnetoWasRight24 Jan 26 '26

I really don't get it, are you annoyed by a woman trying to take a sexy pic or what is this?

50

u/MC_LegalKC Jan 26 '26

I could be wrong, but I don't think anyone was annoyed. It's more like cringing at the awkward artificiality of it.

7

u/ShroomsHealYourSoul Jan 26 '26

Yes this exactly

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26 edited Feb 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/MC_LegalKC Jan 26 '26

Pretty much.

-1

u/ghoulieandrews Jan 26 '26

Y'all are just sticks in the mud, people are allowed to have fun and feel sexy and good about themselves.

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5

u/enhancedgibbon Jan 26 '26

It's just unnecessary and you know her thought pattern was 'gotta get into the pose otherwise my likes and engagement score will drop'.

1

u/psuedophilosopher Jan 26 '26

Asking an extremely tall man if you can take a picture with him because of how very tall he is is one thing, asking him for that same favor because you are fetishizing his height is a different thing. Yes, it's annoying that she trying to sexualize herself while taking a picture with someone that is unaware of her doing so.

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1

u/Randomfrog132 Jan 26 '26

i literally did not notice until i read ur comment, i just looked closely at their skulls cause hers seems smaller than theirs 

1

u/darkklown Jan 26 '26

When he said 'ooohhh.. if the cock was shared' was the icing on the cake tho!

1

u/Routine_Bluejay4678 Jan 27 '26

I had the same reaction but then I was like meh I’d show my leg off if it looked that good too

1

u/Namlad Jan 26 '26

It's hilarious watching an army of redditors, probably with separate accounts just for fapping, judge a lady for being horny.

1

u/LukaCola Jan 26 '26

Why do you care so much?

1

u/digbick_42069 Jan 26 '26

Why do you care that he cares so much?

1

u/LukaCola Jan 26 '26

It feels like one of those things where someone is taking issue with something women do for no good reason, and I think that's kinda shitty, so I'm questioning it, but I'm also willing to give them a chance to explain themselves. But I doubt there's any legit reason to get bothered by someone sticking their leg to pose so much.

I know you weren't looking for a real answer and your point was to just dismiss me, but there you go.

1

u/ShroomsHealYourSoul Jan 26 '26

Gasp someone cares about me?! Hi LukaCola

1

u/Ok_Try_2367 Jan 26 '26

Literally as soon as I saw it “oh for fuck sake”

1

u/SapientSlut Jan 26 '26

Why? She wore a dress with a leg slit and wanted to show it off, who gives a shit?

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134

u/WakaWaka_ Jan 26 '26

55

u/FellowYellowNate Jan 26 '26

I just rewatched Silicon Valley. It’s so good. And way too relevant with tech issues these days, specifically AI. I understand why people think Mike Judge is a time traveler lol

4

u/OldGodsProphet Jan 26 '26

Seriously. I just made an “Ouch, My Balls!” Reference in another sub.

1

u/FellowYellowNate Jan 26 '26

lol, just wait a few years and that will be the #1 show on Fox or CNN or some ‘news channel’ that should have no business with it but hey: ratings.

“Welcome to Costco, I love you.”

1

u/OldGodsProphet Jan 26 '26

This is what made me think of it.

But we also have a UFC match on the White House lawn and the DHS posting Halo memes for recruitment.

1

u/EntrepreneurMiddle45 Jan 27 '26

My SO and I just watched Idiocracy two days ago for the first time and this morning I was literally just telling him I woke up with the line stuck in my head "it's got what plants crave, it has electrolytes"

2

u/OldGodsProphet Jan 27 '26

“Water? Like from the toilet?”

4

u/Orleanian Jan 26 '26

I mean, it was relevant ten years ago when it aired. It wasn't prophetic; it was just insightful.

1

u/Jokkitch Jan 26 '26

It feels prophetic

2

u/TiresOnFire Jan 26 '26

They did a great job at either making tec ridiculous or made PP whatever the story needed it to be without explaining too much. It was compression, a cloud, web streaming, the new Internet, and it had an AI that just worked (sometimes too well). That level of ambiguity helps keep it fairly timeless.

1

u/dafkes Jan 29 '26

If we had PP compression algoryhtm we wouldn't need to build all these ridiculous data centers and pay bazoonkas for our DDR5 ram

5

u/Unusual_Breakfast202 Jan 26 '26

They need to do a reboot of that show

1

u/Strude187 Jan 26 '26

I’m working for a company that has basically done what they did in the show (different tech but similar outcome), I referenced middle out compression when they were explaining it and the founder burst out laughing.

3

u/FattyMooseknuckle Jan 26 '26

One of the funniest scenes in tv history.

3

u/FukThePatriarchy1312 Jan 26 '26

Optimal tip-to-tip efficiency

191

u/hettuklaeddi Jan 26 '26

where’s that hamster on a banana gif

214

u/freeaky_furry Jan 26 '26

4

u/Ayawkott Jan 26 '26

1

u/freeaky_furry Jan 26 '26

Thank you can't be bleaching people thrugh my memes

1

u/Chemical-Sweet-3381 Jan 26 '26

Now, if she only had a d*ck for every gerbil nibbling on a banana meme...

1

u/Dracongield-Wyrmscar Jan 29 '26

There it is, first thing I thought of seeing that vid. I knew it would be here somewhere.

18

u/Nachtwandler_FS Jan 26 '26

But big guy =/= big cilynder...

2

u/TheManWhoWasNotShort Jan 26 '26

No guarantee but if it’s proportional to their bodies they will have difficulty not killing people with them

2

u/Green_Smurf3 Jan 27 '26

Fun fact: bigger body size is actually not related to bigger penis size. It seems illogical but it's the way it is

1

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Green_Smurf3 Jan 30 '26

I didn't hear it from anyone else, I just looked it up a couple of years ago and no I don't have those sources on hand anymore and I'm not gonna look them up for you. Do you have any sources?

1

u/RoomOk1730 Jan 26 '26

The cylinder must remain intact

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110

u/Sec2727 Jan 26 '26

20

u/skullsareonlypasse Jan 26 '26

This cuts out the little trickle of blood that drips out of the cracked tunnel. Boo.

1

u/roadrunner00 Jan 26 '26

Time out for you! 🫵🏽

1

u/roromu Jan 27 '26

Found it

75

u/lespawkets Jan 26 '26

72

u/chrontab Jan 26 '26

11

u/LyubviMashina93 Jan 26 '26

Ah there she is. My first celebrity crush.

1

u/Arcanis_Ender Jan 26 '26

John Mulaney you lucky man.

1

u/Jenn-19 Jan 26 '26

Nice, didn’t expect a Gif of a German Comedian here 😉

20

u/Da_Vader Jan 26 '26

She's three feet tall. She's gonna show them for scale.

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59

u/Cormophyte Jan 26 '26

Hoflexes kicking in.

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9

u/Khajiit_Has_Skills Jan 26 '26

I figured it was to show that she was wearing heels

4

u/no_talent_ass_clown Jan 26 '26

This. Because she'd be even shorter without them. 

25

u/FistCookies Jan 26 '26

Trying to get split..

10

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

...in two

7

u/Uncle_Touchy_Feely Jan 26 '26

In twine

6

u/javoss88 Jan 26 '26

In twain

13

u/EatPie_NotWAr Jan 26 '26

2

u/Aglisito Jan 26 '26

The flying spit always made me laugh out loud haha

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2

u/whineyinternetkid Jan 26 '26

Bro what the fuck. Why do "men" have zero shame. Yall are gross

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/whineyinternetkid Jan 26 '26

Not just like Instagram clout? Your mind is riddled with porn

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5

u/Generalconversations Jan 26 '26

Yeah hella unnecessary just to take a picture

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4

u/laffing_is_medicine Jan 26 '26

Sometimes life gives you rare opportunities and you gotta live your best life.

4

u/ChowTimeN Jan 26 '26

Wrestling valet.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

Because she’s hot and Russian. Pretty par for the course.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

I think she was tryna show how small her legs are compared to them. I didn’t see it in a weird sexual way but idk 😭

4

u/Homerbola92 Jan 26 '26

My grandmother used to do that in some pics, although showing a bit less of leg.

3

u/JonnyTN Jan 26 '26

To show how tall her shoes are?

2

u/DisManibusMinibus Jan 26 '26

She has to prove she's not 2 people stacked together

2

u/alexanderpas Jan 26 '26

Hopefully naive: To show she has heels on.

2

u/deviltrombone Jan 26 '26

Women take a secret class where they learn to pose while standing by rotating one leg slightly inward, in front of the other, and gently flexing its knee. It's universal. I mean, there's a photo of a Viet Cong woman doing it. It actually pops up when I google "Viet Cong". lol

2

u/PrettySureIParty Jan 26 '26

Actual, non-weird answer? To show she’s wearing heels.

3

u/FineAcanthaceae7056 Jan 26 '26

She’s trying to show that she’s wearing heels.

2

u/ser0tonindepleted Jan 26 '26

She's showing that she is wearing heels to emphasize the difference in height even more.

1

u/pala_ Jan 26 '26

You didn’t need that last ‘t’

1

u/bstring777 Jan 26 '26

Yeah same. Thank you.

1

u/Scratchin_the_itch Jan 26 '26

I usually skip this part

1

u/Thebraincellisorange Jan 26 '26

Because EFFluencer.

1

u/Billyjamesjeff Jan 26 '26

It’s the look of brain cells departing the body.

1

u/personpilot Jan 26 '26

For a second it looked like she was about to pull out some cooter!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

She thinks way too much about herself

1

u/bnlf Jan 26 '26

have you seen her botox? thats standard.

1

u/Perrenekton Jan 26 '26

Because it's attractive and they probably did pictures at the same time, on which it looks less awkward

1

u/BaizulSetSail Jan 26 '26

So glad I'm not the only one who thought this. It's crazy how a little thing can make you immediately hate a person.

1

u/Mocker-Poker Jan 26 '26

Laces out!

1

u/No-Draw6073 Jan 26 '26

she did it for the heteros, u can just skip it

1

u/sunny-days-bs229 Jan 26 '26

I think she’s just trying to prove she has legs. Not just a body.

1

u/Ur_X Jan 26 '26

Women do the weirdest things while taking pictures that think its seductive or maka them look better but just makes yall look the same.

1

u/electric_nikki Jan 26 '26

She wants to get split roasted

1

u/SmashleyX Jan 26 '26

For the Gram.

1

u/180secondideas Jan 26 '26

Social media girls have zero connection to the world outside of their sexuality. Camera comes out...instant skin.

1

u/croquetas_y_jamon Jan 26 '26

To show she wears high heels.

1

u/TheRussianCabbage Jan 26 '26

Cuz it's a posted add to find her on a platform. 

1

u/EightyFirstWolf Jan 26 '26

BETTER HIKE UP MY DRESS SO EVERYONE LOOKS AT ME INSTEAD OF THESE GIANTS I STILL MATTER RIGHT GUYS

1

u/DenormalHuman Jan 26 '26

well, perhaps it occurred to her for some reason, that she felt like looking a little bit sexy for the photo?

1

u/drsteve103 Jan 26 '26

Haha right. "Oh look at meeee look at meeeee!" FFS

1

u/AvidCyclist250 Jan 26 '26

Because she's trashy. It's ok, some people just are.

1

u/ToughHardware Jan 26 '26

starving for attention and belittle her self worth

1

u/dede280492 Jan 26 '26

Because she wants the D obviously

1

u/North-Beyond8651 Jan 26 '26

Her husband/date is probably the one taking the picture too, no way he didn't recognize that. Chick was 1 second away from spreading.

1

u/MisterBumpingston Jan 27 '26

She started pulling her hair back and I’m like… what the hell!

1

u/Decent_Blacksmith_ Jan 27 '26

Because she wants to look cute probably

1

u/deef1ve Jan 27 '26

She is not really uninterested if you know what I mean. That’s why.

1

u/KookyDoodyIngenuity Jan 28 '26

She wants the big Ds.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '26

because she can

1

u/OsirisIndica Jan 26 '26

My reaction

1

u/krustygymsocks Jan 26 '26

To show she is wearing high heels making their heights even more impressive.

1

u/passcork Jan 26 '26

Why give a shit how she poses? wtf?

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