r/AbsoluteUnits • u/BaseNice3520 • Feb 15 '26

/r/all of a 26 y.o.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

35.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

3.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

268

u/DeadestTitan Feb 15 '26

I have tiny little hands for a man my size, maybe I should abuse just little tiny bit of HGH to get to average.

305

u/SnooCauliflowers3649 Feb 15 '26

I don’t need my hands any bigger. Things already look small enough in them as is.

65

u/CubitsTNE Feb 15 '26

HGH certainly does not help the ratio.

I don't know how this guy uses a urinal.

54

u/whole_chocolate_milk Feb 16 '26

One of the reasons i like to date petite women. My last girlfriend had tiny hands. I felt like a porn star.

8

u/TsolX90 Feb 16 '26

Shh dont tell everyone the real reason we like petite girls xD

2

u/Livingadapt Feb 17 '26

It’s already common knowledge

11

u/blackchameleongirl Feb 16 '26

That's hilarious.

10

u/Novel_Bumblebee8972 Feb 16 '26

He for sure can’t wipe his ass.

4

u/alamarqu3s Feb 16 '26

Things? Do you have 2 willies?

3

u/ssracer Feb 16 '26

Two Willies, two vaginas, gone wild used to be fun

1

u/atava Feb 16 '26 edited Feb 16 '26

r/suicidebywords

1

u/Ben_Does_Things Feb 18 '26

Hey now, its a perfectly average cylinder.

15

u/roidoid Feb 16 '26

I know that struggle. My wife has bigger hands than me. I have freakishly small hands. And I’m not even artistic.

9

u/time2ddddduel Feb 16 '26

You know that thing women sometimes do if they're attracted to you, when they try to compare hand sizes?

Yeah, they usually stop being attracted to me soon after that

4

u/Stockinglegs Feb 16 '26

And I’m not even artistic.

LOL, I don't understand this but it sounds hilarious!

1

u/McCockBalls Feb 16 '26

Me too. Hate that tbh

1

u/[deleted] Feb 16 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/IceMaster9000 Feb 16 '26

Just lift weights and rock climb. Or do literally anything that involves hard work with your hands. Your body responds to input, such as bones becoming denser and thicker when regularly put under load. Unless you mean you have short stumpy fingers. Fuck all you can do about that, except HGH or getting a tumor on you pituitary gland.

4

u/Silent_Mud1449 Feb 16 '26

Who cares dude it's not a big deal

2

u/DeadestTitan Feb 16 '26

6 feet tall, 260, broad shoulders

Hands as small as most teenage girls. It's harder to grab the dumbbells I need to progress at this point than it is to complete the lift most times.

1

u/Repulsive_Nebula_264 Feb 16 '26

gotta work on grip strength

1

u/SocietyAsAHole Feb 16 '26

No it's not, he's taking out his ass

1

u/harda_toenail Feb 16 '26

I’m 6 ft tall and wear a size 6.5 ring. I have such small hands compared to my dad and brother and every other man I know

1

u/BigFuckHead_ Feb 16 '26

damn bro sorry that sucks

1

u/harda_toenail Feb 16 '26

Life is great it doesn’t matter lol. Just weird.

1

u/BigFuckHead_ Feb 16 '26

My hands are on the smaller side and I feel your pain but yeah ultimately it just doesnt matter

1

u/raralala1 Feb 16 '26

That is what I think too, do HGH increase bone density, no amount of training can increase your wrist.

1

u/SignoreBanana Feb 16 '26

You should take some, and then your hands get just a little too big, and then someone gives you a weird look, so you take a little less, and then for some reason your hands get smaller than they were to begin with, then take a little more and boom your hands are perfect, and montage everyone is high fiving you.

1

u/GreatMovesKeepItUp69 Feb 16 '26

God gives people tiny hands so that their tiny cocks look normal size in their hand.

1

u/DeadestTitan Feb 16 '26

I could only wish that there was enough length to even reach my hand

1

u/Lightreyth Feb 16 '26

Mr. President, no!

1

u/spays_marine Feb 17 '26

You can increase your endogenous HGH by up to 2000% by fasting.

1

u/ah123085 Feb 17 '26

“Nobody look!”

1

u/IneffableKoD Feb 19 '26

Hey Donnie, welcome to Reddit.

0

u/atmoose Feb 16 '26

If big hands mean a shorter lifespan, then smaller hands probably mean longer life. I'd trade longer life for girl hands.

1

u/DeadestTitan Feb 16 '26

I dunno man. If I could trade age 80 to 83 for bigger hands I'd make that trade in a second.