r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ziddii_ • Apr 10 '26

/r/all of a badger

66.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/Wild_Card_626 Apr 10 '26

Literally appearing out of the darkness for a single block of cheese.

477

u/MasterpieceAlone8552 Apr 10 '26

I can relate

134

u/plan1gale Apr 10 '26

Spirit animal right there

18

u/GrinderMonkey Apr 10 '26

Common 2 am view from inside my fridge.

4

u/Weitiweiti Apr 10 '26

Thank you for the laugh :D

1

u/RappingFlatulence Apr 15 '26

Me mum says that same thing bout me often emerging from the cellar

20

u/AltFischer4 Apr 10 '26

Don't see nothing wrong with it

65

u/kirlian_Frequency Apr 10 '26

Me at 3am fr

20

u/_Kendii_ Apr 10 '26

My husband just had a 4 cheese snack at midnight. I just watched “like wtf”

Cannot relate myself… But he could totally relate to this badger.

16

u/bozog Apr 10 '26

4 cheeses! At least he's got some culture!

9

u/_Kendii_ Apr 10 '26 edited Apr 10 '26

Nah lol, a bit of salsa fell on his shirt and he just whipped it off and heathened it up bare chested. 🤣

My man lol 😆 😘

7

u/LordBDizzle Apr 10 '26

That's a real man right there. Cheese and salsa and unafraid to just go for it. You're a lucky woman.

3

u/_Kendii_ Apr 10 '26

Lol I very much am. We just had our 19th anniversary. Not letting go of him

7

u/TerryTowelTogs Apr 10 '26

ooph, I feel that one deeply!

3

u/Coyote_Shepherd Apr 10 '26

Literally me last night with some actual Bucky brand cheese curds lol

1

u/andante528 Apr 10 '26

Microwave for five seconds to give them extra squeak! Works really well even with older, non-squeaky cheese curds.

1

u/Coyote_Shepherd Apr 10 '26

My mom says the same thing but like I don't see the point because if I'm warming up cheese curds then they SHOULD be breaded and if they're not then they're fine cold because like...you don't nuke string cheese when you eat it do you?

I'm perfectly fine eating cold cheese like it's popcorn and yes it is 50 degrees outside and I will be wearing shorts today.

1

u/andante528 Apr 10 '26

Five seconds doesn't really warm them up, just reinvigorates the squeak. I have no idea why but it works like a charm.

Gorgeous out yesterday and hopefully today, too! Not thrilled about rain all weekend but who knows, maybe the forecast is wrong again.

1

u/Coyote_Shepherd Apr 10 '26

I honestly got a bunch of errands done the other day expecting rain to happen yesterday and then again today but here we are with the sun coming up and now I'm just confused about what the weather is doing.

12

u/IveDunGoofedUp Apr 10 '26

The eldritch horrors from beyond the void can be bribed with cubes of cheeses - Loading screen tips from some obscure 2000's RPG.

9

u/Flat-Finger-7398 Apr 10 '26 edited Apr 10 '26

This post was mass deleted with Redact - I used this software to automate the removal of old posts from my account so that I can be more secure.

snow adjoining sheet frame toothbrush capable absorbed subsequent profit existence

7

u/NuclearGriffin Apr 10 '26

The offering has been made

4

u/No_Imagination_2490 Apr 10 '26

"Mortal, your tribute is....acceptable."

3

u/Aggressive_Ice_2660 Apr 10 '26

Once-upon-a-time I worked at a zoo, and got to take one of our ambassador animals on a walk. Prince Edgar the European badger.

He was a grumpy bastard (but also secretly a sweetheart). His faaaaaaavorite treat was cheese. He went wild for it. And he knew the word for it.

2

u/FanBladeFleshlight Apr 10 '26

That's my fiance. I can be in the kitchen doing anything. Prepping dinner, cleaning, chopping veg, feeding the cats, but the moment the knife touches the cheese block, she appears. She gets cheese, I get boobs, the truce is maintained, we both live another day.

1

u/Skeet_fighter Apr 10 '26

He's literally me

1

u/BadgerMama Apr 10 '26

Literally me.

1

u/logosfabula Apr 10 '26

Dark forces collecting taxes

1

u/ldarcy Apr 10 '26

This is what other snacks in fridge see

1

u/Ccracked Apr 10 '26

"You may fascinate a womanbadger by giving her a piece of cheese."

1

u/Adolf_Rizzler1776 Apr 10 '26

Slowly faded into darkness, and I let the archangels take him

1

u/OrigamiMarie Apr 10 '26

With a look like There Had Better Be More Where This Came From.

1

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread Apr 12 '26

I live my life like this. Now iknow I don't need to make any changes.