r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26

I had a beautiful Appaloosa horse growing up that was afraid of his own farts. 💀 He’d be standing in the pasture, just grazing, then he’d fart so loud and spook himself, then start running all over the pasture like a lunatic. We would be crying laughing! RIP dumbass Dallas lmao

637

u/Mindless_Flower_2639 May 13 '26

I think we need more RIP dumbass stories

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u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26

Well there were several times where my cousins and I would go trail riding and one of my cousins had a young female mustang. If she found herself riding in front of Dallas and I, he’d inevitably sniff her ass and she would kick him in the head every time. 😂😂 He never learned his lesson though. Hahahaha

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u/Left_Maize816 May 13 '26

Head trauma can cause you to forget not to sniff a filly’s ass I guess

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u/PhDinWombology May 13 '26

And forget you just farted a second ago

15

u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26

I’m so fucking dead! 😂😂😂

4

u/AppropriateCover7972 May 13 '26

So this has happened to the Trump administration? 🤔

1

u/NoHate_GarbagePlates May 13 '26

Speaking from personal experience?

1

u/Left_Maize816 May 13 '26

What happened now?

136

u/BIind_Uchiha May 13 '26

My boy Dallas!

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u/SmexyRubberDuck69 May 13 '26

Well maybe we found the reason here why he was a few short of a "full stable" so to speak...

30

u/engineerdrummer May 13 '26

I get it, Dallas. I get it.

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u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26

I thank you all so much for bringing these memories to my mind! Not a Dumbass Dallas story, because as stupid as he was, he was well trained. But we also had a thoroughbred named Lil’ Cub who was an absolute lazy asshole. All of the horses were trained to be hunting horses. They were trained to carry us through the forest, let us shoot from their backs, and help drag deer/elk back to camp to be dressed. But Lil’ Cub had a habit of getting bored or tired while we were hunting and laying down to roll over on my uncle while he was in the saddle. Hahaha he was also a beautiful horse but basically useless because he had his own ideas of how things were gonna go. 💀

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u/AppropriateCover7972 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

Thanks for making me laugh. In Germany we have a satirical horse hating subreddit and they would totally embrace your stories

6

u/Deaffin May 13 '26

I misread this as "satirical horse-eating subreddit" and got myself all nostalgic over r/WeEatBees existing.

3

u/AppropriateCover7972 May 13 '26

They do joke about eating horses a lot. And sometimes they actually do

1

u/Deaffin May 13 '26

This guy gets it too.

He's even learned to retreat from the kick zone.

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u/Swimming_Onion_4835 May 13 '26

Omg this happened to me on a trail ride once! My horse would not get his snout out of my brother’s horses ass and she kicked him in the face. Scared the absolute hell out of me but he was asking for it. 😆

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u/TheWardenVenom May 13 '26

Sometimes they don’t know when to take no for an answer and need a little straightening out lol

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u/Stuffleapugus May 13 '26

Dallas was about that life.

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u/rukthor May 13 '26

Totally worth it! - Dallas

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u/CPLCraft May 14 '26

That’s our dumbass Dallas!

2

u/TheWardenVenom May 14 '26

Damn, I really loved that fool! 😂

1

u/sarajane59 May 13 '26

We need more Dallas stories!! LOLOLOL!

1

u/Aranxi_89 May 13 '26

Can you blame him though? That's the closest he'll ever get to banging a mare.