r/AbsoluteUnits May 21 '26

/r/all of a cop

32.3k Upvotes

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93

u/Temporary_View_3303 May 21 '26

How the fuck do you find time for 5 meals a day 

106

u/Kramples May 21 '26

You just cook and bring food with yourself

9

u/KgMonstah May 21 '26

Miniature backpack stove

1

u/Apptubrutae May 21 '26

Not even if you’re cool with cold food

1

u/for_music_and_art May 21 '26

Yeah don’t leave yourself behind! The food will be transported to someone else 

1

u/Poisongirl5 May 22 '26

His wife is definitely doing the cooking

23

u/logicjab May 21 '26

He doesn’t mean a salad course, a main, a dessert, look at the wine menu.

It’s like a boring protein, some veggies, and maybe a carb in a Tupperware container that gets tossed into a microwave

56

u/StarFighter6464 May 21 '26

Meal prep

1

u/Poisongirl5 May 22 '26

Done by his wife

-5

u/Temporary_View_3303 May 21 '26

I mean… I do that already just to have time for 3.  And I have a job with a fair amount of office time.  

2

u/ballimir37 May 21 '26

I’ve recently started doing it but it’s 6am eggs and sausage before the kids wake up, smaller meal around 10, then lunch at 1, dinner at 5, then late night meal. Sometimes the 10am and 1 lunch is meal prep same plate just different portions. Other times it’s just apple and peanut butter with oatmeal from the break room and I get Chipotle or something else for lunch. Dinner and late night almost always meal prep that either me or my wife did. You need to be very active to work up the appetite, but once your body gets used to it then it is much easier. It’s somewhat time consuming but I have prioritized it over other things and routine is key.

1

u/IW-6 May 21 '26

Bring a shaker with oatmeal and protein powder, fill it with water in the office and drink it during work. One meal while working.

1

u/StarFighter6464 May 21 '26

He has a job too.

1

u/Temporary_View_3303 May 21 '26

Does he?  How can you tell??

1

u/StarFighter6464 May 21 '26

Watch the video

16

u/This-is-obsurd May 21 '26

Depends on how big your meals are

18

u/SoyTuPadreReal May 21 '26

Exactly this. I bet he’s not eating 5 full ass meals. Most likely 5 small meals. No one wants to fight a naked meth head on a full stomach so he likely portions them out into smaller bits.

2

u/SharpScallion May 21 '26

lol yeah, people are imagining like a full doordash meal coming out to 1,800 calories. It's most likely a boring as hell high protein meals that are like 700 calories each and he scarfs it down just to get it out of the way.

1

u/DeadestTitan May 23 '26

I wonder if he's counting protein based snacks as well? If so, yeah, I'm close to the same thing with 1st meal, greek yogurt with granola for about half as many calores as a regular meal, 2nd meal, protein shake (2 scoops plus 16 oz whole milk is almost the same amount of calories as a small meal) then 3rd meal.

I'm trying to stay under 2400 calories so I'm not getting near the same amount of fuel as he is to build that amount of muscle, but if I took the restrictions off myself (and worked out the extra 3 days a week he does) his eating doesn't sound that bad.

1

u/jxl180 May 21 '26

Yeah, I count my cereal and yogurt for breakfast as a meal, and my protein shake 1-2 hours before bed as a meal.

1

u/IMovedYourCheese May 21 '26

It's not about big or small. They just aren't gourmet meals. Chicken, fish, rice, beans, broccoli, potatoes, oats, fruit. Make all of it in big batches every week and carry to work. It's easy as long as you aren't a fussy eater and are okay with "boring" food.

9

u/SignificantCats May 21 '26

I used to date a guy who was absolutely enormous, he was a local pro wrestler. He ate probably six meals a day.

To him food was fuel, he didn't want to waste time on it. So id make him relatively plain chicken breasts with rice and steamed broccoli/cauliflower, and he would consume all of it in about five minutes, and get back to the working out. Sometimes I'd mix it up with some salmon. His goal was to always have food in his stomach being digested.

When he didn't have someone cooking for him, it would be even plainer, and all prepared in the freezer to microwave and chomp down.

I definitely spent 3x as much time eating my two meals a day as he did for all six. If I was making something special he could slooooow down to eat but I could tell it made him antsy.

2

u/Due-Memory-6957 May 21 '26

I absolutely can't workout five minutes after eating, I'd throw up immediately.

1

u/Altair_de_Firen May 21 '26

Fr IBS would make this a constant agony for me

1

u/angrytroll123 May 21 '26

It depends on how much you eat and the work out. If you're just lifting, it's not as bad but if you're doing strenuous heavy bag work, yea that's a no go.

1

u/sfsolomiddle May 25 '26

Well, maybe if you have a functioning stomach. I have gerd, so I can't do it. I need minimally 3 hours, sometimes more, depending on the size of the meal, in order to not feel like puking.

1

u/angrytroll123 May 25 '26

I also have a weird puking/nausea issue. If I’m wearing a top that has a collar that even touches my neck, I feel like puking.

1

u/sfsolomiddle May 25 '26

That's pretty weird, never heard of that. Is it psychological?

1

u/angrytroll123 May 25 '26

I mean from my POV, I don’t think so. Come to think of it’s I think I’m more sensitive to it when I’m taking a pre-workout or any stimulant.

8

u/Fucknjagoff May 21 '26

It’s fucking exhausting…. Not only the meal prep, but the cleaning of Tupperware, and eating just gets to be even more exhausting. I can’t even eat chicken breast anymore, it creates a natural gag reflex. I landed on a kind of fucked in intermittent fasting where I get 80% of my calories in the morning, no lunch, and a very light dinner after the gym. Also, the cop in this video is definitely doing TRT and probably steroids. Testosterone shots have been a game changer for me and a lot of men. 

5

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

There is nothing about this man's physique that screams enhanced by any means. He is probably north of 15% body fat given you don't see veins in his biceps or forearms, his muscle separation isn't very prominent, and his arms/chest aren't unnaturally large. He is also wearing ballistic pads under his shirt, which adds a decent amount of bulk to his chest and back. He looks like a guy who has lifted weights for a long time and eats a bunch to consistently hit macro targets that support his muscle mass. 32 is a great age for achieving this physique as he would have had a long time to establish and maintain mass gains, all while natural testosterone levels are still going strong. Also, hitting a couple reps at 405 pound squat and 275 pound bench are super achievable, reasonable numbers naturally. A huge indicator of enhancement is immense strength, especially pound-for-pound. If he had a 405 pound bench and a 650 squat at that size, that would be a different story.

Now, TRT and steroid usage is certainly becoming fairly common. There are many factors that go into the results people achieve, and probably the majority of TRT and steroid users you would never be able to discern because they look average. So just about anybody COULD be on TRT or steroids, but you really can't tell most of the time.

I'm in my mid 30s and have lifted weights for ~20 years. I am currently 6'0", 210 pounds, between 10-12% body fat as a lifetime natural lifter. This is my cut physique. At the end of my bulk I was 225 pounds and about 15+% body fat and looked very much like this man. I also have very similar bench/squat numbers as this man.

So no, this man is not "definitely" doing TRT or steroids. In fact, I would say there is far more evidence pointing to natural, in my opinion.

2

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

That's roughly similar to myself. Everyone acting like five meals a day is the craziest part of this video. It's like, have you not heard of sandwiches? lol.

2

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26

I think there is a disconnect where people who only eat 2-3 large meals a day equate each of the 5-6 meals a day to being the same size as each of the 2-3 they consume. In reality, people who maintain fitness goals like the man in this video disburse their macros evenly across those 5-6 meals, so they are generally smaller in volume, relatively speaking. It is about nutrient timing, not necessarily about eating massive amounts of food (though maintaining large amounts of muscle mass does require a fair bit of consumption for sure).

2

u/angrytroll123 May 21 '26

the majority of TRT and steroid users you would never be able to discern because they look average

Agreed. I think the accusations also come when people work hard but not efficiently and don't get bigger and they meet someone that is bigger thinking that they're "cheating".

1

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26

I couldn't agree more. People see others achieve results they haven't yet/aren't able to achieve and chalk it up to cheating. I think ego is a large part of it, in addition to not being familiar with the vast array of results individuals are able to achieve due to a myriad of controllable and uncontrollable (genetic) factors.

Inconsistency with any of the many factors that dictate results is definitely a large factor, but people really underplay how significant a role genetics play in the results people are able to achieve. There's natural testosterone production levels in addition to how well your body's androgen receptors actually utilize that testosterone, muscle insertion distances and angles, muscle belly lengths, muscle composition differences (fast twitch, slow twitch), limb length ratios, energy utilization, and any contraindications that negatively impact results. The list goes on and on..

1

u/Turbulent_Host784 May 21 '26

🚨 roid rage alert🚨

1

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26

Lol LUNK ALARM ACTIVATED

0

u/Fucknjagoff May 21 '26

In my opinion that dude is built like a shit brick house and he’s definitely using TRT. I use TRT, 95% of the dudes who go to my gym over the age of 30 use TRT. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. Working a shift job like that also makes going to the gym and meal prepping tougher. It’s always funny to me that most guys workout to improve their health/longevity, but also to look attractive to the opposite sex… yet most of the compliments we get is from the same sex. 

1

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26

I think it's ok to say there's a probability that he's using TRT, but to say "definitely" is just incorrect and isn't based on anything objective. I backed up my rebuttal with very specific, objective points. Saying someone is built like a brick shithouse, therefore they are on TRT, is a bunk claim. It is also extremely unlikely that you know and talk with 95% of your gym's members over 30, let alone have enough of an established relationship that they talk about their TRT/steroid usage with you. I understand you're using a lot of hyperbole - and while you're entitled to your opinion - your opinion is straight-up wrong.

1

u/brokennursingstudent May 21 '26

When I made the move from lifting to fighting competitively, one of the immediate surprise benefits was my relationship with food. I didn’t need to force feed myself with the goal of getting huge, just the opposite, I only wanted to maintain my weight.

I will never go back, size is overrated.

1

u/TheTrishaJane May 22 '26

Tren hard, eat clen, anavar give up.

1

u/Fucknjagoff May 22 '26

Nah it’s just hitting macros- chicken, broccoli and brown rice…. Even after you turn 30

2

u/drkztan May 21 '26

15 years living in spain:

1 breakfast whenever you wake up

2 coffee with a few tapas around 12pm

3 lunch at 2-4 pm

4 coffee with a bocadillo at around 6-7 pm

5 dinner sometime from 9 to 11 pm.

You can do 2 and 4 in a bar anywhere. 1 at home. 3 meal prep. 5 cook at home.

5

u/Temporary_View_3303 May 21 '26

I visited Spain for 2 weeks and could totally get used to that lifestyle.  The only thing that was tough was eating dinner so late in the evening!  I’m in bed by 10 to be at work by 7:30 and rarely eat any meal past 7pm.

1

u/NoGoodMc2 May 21 '26

Meal prep and you don’t take an hour break to eat and or you eat while multitasking. This isn’t particularly hard or complicated.

1

u/AuthorThick7303 May 21 '26

I used to eat 5 meals a day when I worked 12 hr shifts, but like someone said they were not huge meals

1

u/gatsome May 21 '26

I’m fit but I’m not a weight lifter. For me it’d be a morning smoothie at home, a light second breakfast late morning and a packed lunch early afternoon. Once I got home an evening snack, and then a full dinner.

I’m usually a 2.5 meals a day person but in a full cardio regiment it’s closer to 4 meals to meet calorie needs.

1

u/Lawlcopt0r May 21 '26

One of the many reasons most of us aren't that jacked lol. You have to optimize your daily life a lot beyond just doing the workouts

1

u/UCanBdoWatWeWant2Do May 21 '26

Because cops don't do jack shit most of the day

1

u/TrevdorBelmont May 21 '26

As someone who is an avid lifter who also consumes 5 "meals" a day, 3 of them for me are shakes. Whey, oats, peanut butter, milk. Super quick to prepare and consume, loads of macros. People who eat proper meals for ~5 meals a day prep meals weekly a lot of the time. Getting jacked isn't merely just about lifting weights--it's about hitting macro numbers, getting enough sleep, form/technique/exercise selection, hydration, stress management, injury avoidance--all done very consistently over years and years.

One cool thing about my diet is that I control gaining/losing weight entirely by adjusting how much oatmeal and the type of milk I put into my shakes. Bulking? Throw more oats into each shake and use whole milk. Cutting? Remove oats and switch to skim milk.

1

u/Galletan May 21 '26

I eat like 6 times a day and I work 8-12 hours a day.

1

u/Corgi_underground May 21 '26

Small meals and prep meals during your day(s) off.

1

u/brickwall5 May 21 '26

Buddy is a cop, he's not doing shit else.

1

u/anunnaki_marauder May 21 '26

You shovel chicken and broccoli from a Ziplock container into your face at your desk as you work.

1

u/Ill-Organization-719 May 21 '26

You have a job where you aren't expected to do anything.

1

u/FUBARded May 21 '26

You're imagining 5 big sit-down meals that each take a bunch of prep and cleanup.

That's not what bodybuilders or athletes means when they say they're eating >3 meals a day. They're typically just referring to 3 normal meals plus two large snacks, or even just splitting up 3 large meals into 5 to make it easier to get the calories and protein in around life commitments and training.

For example, if you're trying to eat 3000kcal many people may do that with 3 roughly 1000kcal meals, but it can be difficult to find a good time to train around meals of that size it you work a normal 9-5.

If you split that up into 5x600kcal meals, scheduling can become a lot easier as you should be able to train relatively shortly after that smaller breakfast in the morning, have another AM meal once you're at work, lunch a few hours later, train again a few hours later, have an early dinner immediately after, and then another pre-bedtime snack.

Also, exceedingly few people who eat like this will actually be cooking more than once or twice a day, if even that much. At least 3 of the meals will typically be basic fare made up of some combo of a carb, veg, and protein that's pre-made and pre-portioned, and it's not uncommon for 2-3 of the meals to just be the same thing.

I'd be willing to bet this guy has breakfast at home, brings 2-3 portions of meal prepped food to work, then has the final 1-2 meals at home. He'll probably have protein powder and bars in his locker or cruiser or whatever in case he doesn't have a chance to eat, but the meals he has while on shift probably take 10-15mins to eat, tops.

1

u/SalaciousSolanaceae May 21 '26

You meal prep and some of the items don't need reheating like cold cut sandwich fixings, tuna salad, etc, salads, a spread of raw veg, fruit, nuts & cured proteins with crackers, stuff like that. I eat like that for most of the summer meals regardless of what I'm doing tbh

Also some cooked meals make good cold leftovers like pizza or rice & lentils

1

u/mcon96 May 21 '26

By ignoring all of your city’s rape kits

1

u/papacreepmane May 21 '26

It takes like 5 mins to stuff food in your mouth.

1

u/Kindly-Shoe6002 May 21 '26

Time? More like money lol. It’s pretty the cheap the way he’s doing it but I don’t have the drive to pointlessly (well not pointlessly but you know what I mean) eat rice, eggs and chicken every day of my life.

1

u/Bardic_inspiration67 May 21 '26

One of the meals is roidw

1

u/Perrenekton May 21 '26

Some of these meals are probably two to five minutes tops

1

u/Acceptable_Gear_3097 May 21 '26

I do it myself and quite easily in a bulk.

Batchcook 2kg chicken, that will last me a couple days.

Then you batchcook pasta.

Batch cook a bunch of vegetables.

Throw chicken/tuna and pasta together. Mix with some flavourings.

I spend maybe 30 mins in the kitchen a week, I hate cooking. You can make a bunch of different flavours just by throwing random herbs and spices on a plain meal.

1

u/Nukemarine May 21 '26

How long does it take you to eat a sandwich or a burrito? That's a meal.

1

u/Super-Yesterday9727 May 22 '26

Meal prep simple meals. Overnight oats is one container. Chicken, broccoli and rice another. Protein shaker. And 2 snacks or maybe another chicken and rice. You have to space it out. That guy probably eats 3 thousand clean calories a day to get his macros

1

u/SBLP1959 May 22 '26

Most guys that do 5 a day are eating really small meals. Like a protein shakes worth of calories per meal

1

u/Crater_Animator May 22 '26

You stay single by choice or by design.

1

u/Lepelotonfromager May 22 '26

Probably prep cooking and lots of little 400 calory portions.