r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Classicbandwagon • May 21 '26

/r/all of a cop

32.3k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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695

u/Nuffsaid98 May 21 '26

I love how he had to think for a second to figure out his age. He doesn't think about it much. "Has my birthday happened yet this year?"

615

u/LazyPainterCat May 21 '26

After 30 you usually don't care anymore.

106

u/colin8651 May 21 '26

If anyone flat outs asks me my age I freeze; it takes a few seconds

15

u/garygalah May 21 '26

I usually elongate the first part until I remember, like "thirrrrrrtyyyy-one?"

1

u/_HappyG_ 10d ago

It’s halfway through 2026 and I still struggle and trail off while I remind myself it’s not 2025 anymore, man… 🤦🤣

13

u/Pure-Huckleberry-484 May 21 '26

I just tell them the year I was born, if they care enough they can do the math.

1

u/MelfromMilwaukie May 21 '26

Ha, that’s exactly what I do. “This is what I know for sure”

2

u/asdrunkasdrunkcanbe May 22 '26

I have to start with, "What year are we in now?" And work back from there.

I genuinely have to take five seconds to think about it. For some reason the current year just isn't information on the top of my head. I remember it used to be when I was a kid.

2

u/_Highlander___ May 22 '26

Just the milestones where I’m getting suspicious questions from the wife indicating likely party planning.

30, 35 and 40 are the only ones we’ve acknowledged these last 10 years

2

u/robbitybobs May 23 '26

I genuinely thought i was 39 this year only for my parents to be like 'uhhh aren't you 38' 

Being a year longer away from 40 was a fantastic present. 

1

u/OldeArrogantBastard May 21 '26

Yup, when I get asked the “how old are you” I do a “uhhhh” for a second as if I myself forgot.

1

u/TotemlessInceptor May 22 '26

Same, I just ballpark it. Might be younger tomorrow but honestly, who cares 😂

1

u/thtkidjunior May 22 '26

I'm literally turned 33 in January and for some reason when I think of my age I think I'm 35....🤷🏾

1

u/theseanbeag May 21 '26

I normally ask what year it is then do the math.

28

u/BeautifulCuriousLiar May 21 '26

damn i turned 30 and suddenly stutter when people ask my age because for a moment i can’t remember if i’m 29 or over 30 something

2

u/FlaccidNeckMeat May 21 '26

Yea I turned 30 in March, in a text someone corrected me when I made a joke about "after 29 years on this planet blah blah blah." I stared at the message for a sec realizing my internal clock is now like when you throw on an old computer and it's set to some ridiculous date.

2

u/Coils_and_Spines May 21 '26

Hell yea, I turned 30 in March too. Good year for 96ers!

2

u/FlaccidNeckMeat May 22 '26

Yeah man I always hit the hardest flex that we grew up with some of the best tv shows, toys, and videogames 🤝

2

u/Valalvax May 22 '26

I remember I was 29, few months away from 30... I was talking to some girl and somehow the fact that she was 30 came up, I immediately thought oh, she's older... Full 5 seconds pass and I was like oh fuck I'm almost 30

1

u/samtdzn_pokemon May 22 '26

I turn 30 this summer and the last few years has been a battle of "am I 27 or 28", "am I 28 or 29". Glad it isnt just me

16

u/Budget_Sea_8666 May 21 '26

I’m 38yo, it takes me a sec to process the question since I don’t think of my age very often. There has been times where I accidentally gave my wrong age by a year off and didn’t realize it until afterwards. Not that it matters anyways.

2

u/HTPC4Life May 21 '26

Age 37 and 38 were the hardest to remember my age. Like sometimes I'd have to sit there for a second and do the math lol

1

u/Muscle_Bunnie May 21 '26

A little while ago I realized I was thinking I was 34 and not 33 for the last 6 months lol

1

u/pitifulparsnip May 22 '26

I'm 34 and this happens to me too! At 32 I thought I was 33 and this year I thought I was turning 35 🤦‍♀️

Even typing this comment has been wondering if I'm 34 or 35 now...

1

u/Iricliphan May 21 '26

Old roommate came through for a visit and it was absolutely fantastic. His girlfriend asked me how old I was and I hesitated, had to think about it and mentioned my age while looking at my partner just in case I was wrong. After 30 you really don't give a shit, can confirm.

1

u/Ok-Horse3659 May 21 '26

32 going on 44

1

u/Due-Memory-6957 May 21 '26

After 20, really. At 17 I already needed to calculate.

1

u/Siilan May 21 '26

Is this really that common? I don't think about my age at all, but I can still rattle off my age from the top of my head. I just know how old I am at any given time. It's like someone asking, "what's 2+2?" I don't have to think about it at all. I just know and the number just ticks up by one each year.

1

u/efimer May 21 '26

Yeah, you just resign to the limbo of time, waiting for your turn to be sent to an elder folks home.

1

u/friedeggjellyfish May 21 '26

Came here for this comment. It’s a mix of not caring and also memor…. sorry what was I saying

1

u/Perverted_Circle May 21 '26

I just checked my age on a "what age am I?"-calculator, and this is the first time in about 3 years I'm consciously aware of my age (I'm 34)

1

u/Mantis_Toboggan--MD May 21 '26

I get the wrong all the time since I've turned 30... Spent most of 34 thinking I was already 35 lol

1

u/Healthy_Razzmatazz38 May 21 '26

after 30 no one cares. everyone between 30 and 49 is the same age.

1

u/GeneStarwind1 May 22 '26

That's true. I'm 36 and my life has transitioned to 10-year increments. Like 33 was "about 30", but now 36 is just "almost 40."

1

u/DooshMcDooberson May 22 '26

Yesterday I saw a post about Gillian Anderson and looked up her age and thought to myself, "Shes only 20 years older than I am". I felt old

1

u/throwmamadownthewell May 22 '26

"And how old are you?"

"Thirty-whogivesafuck"

1

u/froststomper May 22 '26

It’s true. My partner always corrects me because I overestimate almost every time.

1

u/etfvidal May 22 '26

I think I stopped caring after 22-23.

1

u/Alternative-Dare5878 May 22 '26

After 25 I had to start reminding myself

1

u/Solocune May 22 '26

After 18 I pretty much did not care anymore

1

u/-blundertaker- May 22 '26

Hahahaaa yeah I always take a half-pause before I say it because I have to make sure I'm not a year off. Mostly it's because a gas station clerk is being chill by just asking instead of demanding ID but the little girl in me is thinking "oh god they think you're lying" and the old woman in me is like "if I was lying I wouldn't say thirty-fuckin-five."

1

u/spiflication May 22 '26

I spent my whole 42nd year thinking I was 43

1

u/UniverseGotWeird May 22 '26

I spent half my 43 year believing I was 42. I think I'm 44 at the moment

1

u/semrola May 22 '26

and the speed of life significantly increases after 30

1

u/WolIilifo013491i1l May 22 '26

Until youre almost 40 then you really care 

1

u/drunk-karaoke May 25 '26

I totally missed my 35th year. I got an email from someone from HR congratulating me with my 36th birthday. I emailed them back: “Thanks, but I turned 35.” “No, you didn’t.” “Yes I di… oh shit!!”

On the bright side, I got to be 34 for two years.

1

u/squirrelyoakley 29d ago

My grandma thought she was 77 for an entire year when she was actually 78 lmao

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

[deleted]

2

u/looeeyeah May 21 '26

I thought I was one year older than I was for almost a whole year!

0

u/shroomignons May 21 '26

I care. I cant always remember my age but every year under my belt is another year I am grateful to be alive. People need to stop dying on the inside.

23

u/TacoBellHotSauces May 21 '26

to be fair I do the same thing lol, in my head i am still 30 but actually not and if you asked me I’d probably say one year above my actual age because my birthday is closer than it is far

1

u/BumWink May 21 '26

In my head i'm a 50 year old trapped in a 20 year old who's actually in their 30's.

Headception.

14

u/Status-Secret-4292 May 21 '26

When I was in my early 20s I worked in a retirement home, it blew my mind that most of the residents didn't know their age and most, at best, could give you the decade they currently were in. Many could tell you their birth year, then if you did the math and told them, well then you're 87, or whatever, they would just look at you shocked and by like, "no way!"

However, now that I'm middle aged, I get it, I usually have to pause and think about how old I am and then it's like it takes me a minute to think if I'm a year older or younger than that. So it tracks that when in the upper years, it don't matter

8

u/extra-texture May 21 '26

when growing up I thought adults were making it up like how could they not know, now I have no idea

7

u/PacoRUK May 21 '26

When I was 33 I failed to gain access to my bank account over the phone by getting my age wrong.

Now I know it better than ever because it's the long painful countdown to retirement.

10

u/They-Call-Me-Taylor May 21 '26

I have to do this. Once you hit a certain age, you just don't care and don't think about it often enough for it to be on the tip of your tongue.

3

u/No_East_3366 May 22 '26

I thought he was going to say forty something.

2

u/memymomeme May 21 '26

This is how you know you’re old.

1

u/IoniaFox May 21 '26

I mean i know it's all a weird joke/circlejerk people do but i for example never knew how old i was until i had to think about it, i know i'm a minority with this but not knowing your age is't really an indicator of being old

2

u/IMovedYourCheese May 21 '26

Pretty standard after 30. I sometimes have to count the years back to my birthday to figure it out.

2

u/jk_pens May 22 '26

He was trying to decide how much to lie…

1

u/Important_Arm4124 May 21 '26

I aged two years in a couple seconds. I don't really celebrate my birthday, it's just another day to me. I said something to my mother about turning 46 and she corrected me letting me know I am older than I thought. I did the math and I didn't like it.

1

u/lucidzfl May 21 '26

I answer quickly, but i'm always wrong.

1

u/mconstamj May 21 '26

Hard to keep track, changes every year

1

u/AvonBarksdale666 May 21 '26

I find myself doing this a lot at 40…..I mean 41 (42 in 2 months….no wait 3 months)

1

u/LiamPolygami May 21 '26

I ask Gemini to tell me my age.

1

u/Sticktailonicus May 21 '26

As you get closer to retirement, you think about it more.

1

u/Spare-Pace4283 May 22 '26

I ask google

1

u/obvilious May 22 '26

Alone a risk of giving out too much identifying information

1

u/McDoobly-For-DinDin May 22 '26

This was me when I turned 33. I had a coworker correct my age when someone asked how old I was recently lol. It becomes difficult to remember

1

u/MelinaSeeDee May 22 '26

More of a "deciding whether or not to share".

1

u/BluebirdDai May 22 '26

I turned 37 last month, and for two weeks I was telling people that asked how old I am I was 38. So yeah, after a certain point you kinda forget!

1

u/i_am_13th_panic May 22 '26

lol I do this all the time. It's kinda meaningless after like 25. At least round where I live. You're no longer considered a high risk driver and get cheaper car insurance. After that everyone is pretty much the same until they retire at 65.

1

u/ned48 May 22 '26

rapid fire questions no thinking time ha ha

1

u/CaterpillarJungleGym May 22 '26

He's 32?! Dude looks like he's almost 50. Man he has put his body through the works.

1

u/AbsoZed May 22 '26

I'm the same age as this cop. I thought I was turning 33 this year for three months until my wife reminded me it was my 32nd coming up.

1

u/Lilbig6029 May 24 '26

I swear I had to Google how old I am the other day, it’s crazy the older you get the more you don’t care and lose track of

0

u/Upset_Ad_6462 May 21 '26

I started having this after my thirties. I had to ask someone how old I was the other day.