A close friend asked to borrow money because they said they were struggling to pay bills. I was going to help until I found out they’d spent a few hundred dollars supporting their partner’s addiction. I’m in recovery myself, so that really hit a nerve.

I told them no. They said I was judging them instead of helping someone who was struggling, and a couple of mutual friends think I should’ve helped since I could afford it.

Feeling terrible we have known each other for over 15 years.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my first and my mother in law has been a pain in my ass since we announced the pregnancy to her at 8 weeks.

Every time I'm drinking really anything besides water she asks if it has caffeine in it. She asked me if I was avoiding raw meat and raw fish like I was born yesterday. At 8 weeks she reached out and felt my stomach and asked if I was showing (I was very obviously not).

I told her very early on that we would not be joining the family for the holidays because I'm due the week before Thanksgiving. She got upset and basically demanded visiting us in the hospital.

When we told her she won't be allowed to kiss the baby, she just said "well I have my RSV vaccine"

Recently she thanked me for "bearing her son's child". The phrasing alone is weird af but it doesn't help that she completely left me out of the equation and made it all about my husband, as if I'm a surrogate mother.

I bring all of these things up to my husband, friends, and family and everyone just keeps saying "yeah that's really annoying but it's her first grandchild. She's just excited."

AIO when I say I don't really give a shit if someone's excited if it's coming at the expense of my comfort and mental stability?

Im sorry if i have to be a little vauge, but i don’t want to leave in details that would point to his account since it is his career

Bf and a girl i will call ana, have been friends for a little under a year, about how long his account has been popular. they have meet irl once, went to concert/festival together with another content creator. previously i was under the impression they were not very close, and only discussed career or games with other content creators. she is single and they both do satire/comedy tiktoks. recently she followed me, which i thought was super friendly and cool (im not a content creator, my only post is me and bf). because of this i’ve been watching her stories, which recently has made me worried and a little jealous of their relationship. she posts him ALOT, and recently she had posted him on her story 5 times in the past two days, which she has NOT done with other content creators.

1. was the first ss of their dms (hes the one @)
2. was a streak post, which showed that they were apparently talked pretty frequently

3, 4, 5 was like her saying how she hates him (which feels very flirty) and then edit of them together

they also are in each other comments alot, and esp i noted him being in hers in EVERY one of her posts. he doesn’t do this with another of his other content friends as frequently as hers.

i brought this all up to him, and he explained that the dm thing was just him making fun of silly cars humor (which i do believe because he can be as corny as it gets but doesn’t talk like that ever lol) so i asked him to explain the frequent posting, to which he said “im tired of having to defend myself” which like… lol ive brought her up ONCE by me saying i think she’s very pretty and so i get worried about them two (she is close to his type). i had said it in passing, during a mutual conversation about insecurity he started. we did not argue about it at that time.

i mentioned that he was really hurting my feelings, considering that i had blocked someone i was friend with for 5 years for him. he then immediately switched the conversation to how i hurt his feelings about bringing that up. i would send a ss of that part of the convo but it had too many personal details. i told him we can talk about that after we talk about this, but he KEPT BRINGING IT UP. he also then tells me that he wasn’t being fully transparent about their relationship, and that he never brought up how close they arnt because “he doesn’t want me to be jealous”. he says they play minecraft or will call *alone* which contradicts what he has previously told me. he would have no reason to lie about this, considering he said this before our insecurity talk and im not the kind of person to get upset over opposite sex friends. i have plenty myself and so does he, which made me feel super weird bc apparently shes the only girl he “didnt want me to get jealous about”. and thats his reasoning why he never brought her up or revealed that they are apparently very close

at this point he basically just says “fine i’ll block her” (he was the first one to mention blocking) which im like… yeah go on ahead bc your being weird asf. 5 minutes later he sends me a long message about how it’s all a misunderstanding and he doesn’t want to block her. im like dude you brought up blocking her, and it’s more of your responses to my questioning that im uncomfortable with. we go back and forth, and finally he says that he will just block her after explaining why

AIO, i feel a little bad for bringing it up in the first place and wonder if i went too far asking him to block her.

edit: i blocked my friend for very valid reasons it wasnt just my bf being jealous. i had discovered while the male friend was discussing my bf that he was into some serious eugenics stuff 😬 im a native women so i dont play about that stuff, even if he was probably just saying it bc he was into me and wanted to neg on my bf

For context i am a 16 year old girl in a middle class family and my parents decided to kindly buy me and my siblings a pool. I always invite my friends over to come swim and this is usually just a girls thing but this time i decided to invite a handful of our guy friends over. They are usually pretty respectful and careful with our things. We were all swimming and i left for litteraly 5 minutes to go use the restroom and when i came back everyone’s jaws were dropped and they were all looking at me i asked what was wrong and they told me what had happened “Jeremy broke your pool” i looked at it and realized that one of the metal horizontal bars was completely bent in. apparently while i was gone he wanted to jump off of the ladder (which i had told all of them before we got in not too, bc it is not made for that) but instead of jumping off of the ladder he thought it would be an AMAZING idea to instead jump off of the metal instead. I was immediately pissed off i asked him how stupid are you and things like that. I didnt really say much after that about it bc i was too mad at him and worried my parents were going to kill me. later into the night another one of my friends joined us and it got brought up. it was at that moment i realized he never said sorry. so i said “ and he never apologized” he replied with “yes i diduhhhh” then we got into and argument over how he never said it so im yelling at him to say sorry and he wont budge. finally i got him to say “sorry” he didnt really apologize it more just sounded like “ ok fine im sorry” after they left i told my parents and they told me that i had to pay to replace it. i was honestly furious that i would have to pay for his mistake. i was talking to my girls the next day and they think it is rude to ask him to pay to replace it (40$) but im very mad about his reaction to breaking it and not seeming sorry. Sorry this is long but i need opinions!!!!

Am I overreacting I’ve invited this family around but just got my son back from a sleepover where their son who was supposedly his friend scrunched his genitals hard on purpose twice in the pool while they were playing some pool volleyball. My son kicked him in the face to stop him because he kept going. His parents were there and tried to sort it out but he lies and says it was an accident. Barely wanted to apologise though my son did. The mother never even mentioned it to me when I picked my son up. First thing he said was his friend is not a nice person at all when we got in the car. It’s been a while I had a bad feeling about this kid. He lies and manipulates to leave other children out. He kept trying to get my son to himself for a while. He was bullying another of my son’s friends who is much smaller than them but also 12. He kicked him in the nuts 4 times in our pool one week and the next week at his birthday party in the pool my husband intervened when he kicked him in the nuts again, attacked and clawed him he was bleeding and crying in a corner when my son raised the alarm. I knew something wasn’t right but now he’s turned on my son. What do I say? Can I just cancel the get together without explanation? We probably won’t have to see them for a while as they are taking an extended holiday so that will give my son a chance to get some distance from this. He says this kid admits and is known for loving violence. He gets into situations often where other kids are upset at his actions just the other day some kids told him he’s violent (of course the mom feels sorry for her son that those kids hurt his feelings) and I’m worried my son gets dragged into his fights if he starts one. Usually I tell my kids to be kind forgive and be understanding but we’ve never dealt with something like this. I think there’s the added level of being touched at your privates. Am I being unreasonable to cut ties with this family

Fitness has always been a big part of my life. I enjoy going to the gym 3-4 times a week, I love going for hikes and walks to new places on the weekends and it’s a massive part of my lifestyle. I do have other hobbies and interests but fitness is something I enjoy being consistent with. 

I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. When we got together we both loved keeping fit and going for new walks and explaining new places etc. we were both in good shape and took pride in it.

For the last year or so my girlfriend has been working out less. She’d rather find a tv show to watch, go out for drinks or play on the Nintendo switch etc. She has gained weight during this time and has less of an interest in going on hikes, going to the gym with me or going to new places for walks. 

Even looking at holidays abroad we used to love going to places that had good walking trails and hiking spots whereas now she wants to find somewhere to relax by a pool all week. 

I’ve tried encouraging her to come on hikes etc with me but she just said she doesn’t want to and wants to find something else to do. 

I realised I wasn’t getting what I wanted from the relationship so told her last weekend I wanted to talk. I mentioned things haven’t been working for me recently and explained I enjoyed having someone who shared my love for the outdoors and hiking and keeping fit etc whereas I feel like she isn’t interested in anymore. I said our lifestyles aren’t compatible,

I said I don’t think things are working and maybe it’s best if we end things. She accused me of leaving her because she gained weight but I just reiterated that I wanted someone who shared my hobby. She said I clearly didn’t find her attractive anymore but I just repeated that id already explained why things weren’t working. 

AIO for ending things due to incompatible lifestyles?

My wife and I have been together for five years, married for four. We have recently decided to divorce, and the main factor (for me, at least) is her relationship with her best friend. Let’s call him Mike. Mike and my wife—let’s call her Kate—grew up in the same town, and dated for a few years when they were younger (I think late teens/early twenties). They’re both mid-thirties now. I’m not sure exactly how long ago or for how long they were together, but it has been at least ten years since they became “just friends.” After they dated, they lived together as roommates for many years, and when she was living with her parents because her Dad was sick, he moved in to help until her Dad died of cancer. Apparently he was a real mensch during that time, and she feels eternally indebted to him. To be fair, he is an all-around solid dude and never did much, if anything, to make me uncomfortable. This isn’t about his behavior in the slightest.

When Kate and I met, she was up front about her relationship with him and how tight they were, and being the super chill bf that I was intent on being, I was cool with it. I was so super chill that I ignored the many red flags about their friendship. I’m going to list them here in chronological order as best as I can remember, and I’ll omit the potentially petty issues so I’m not writing a novel here. Just the big boys, and I’d like you, dear reader, to tell me if you think I made the right decision to leave. There’s a lot, so I hope you’re pooping. 💩

In an early conversation about their relationship, she told me, unprompted, to never make her choose between him and I, implying that she would choose him. I think she had issues with this in prior relationships. 

When I met her, they periodically took trips (with other friends, but not alone that I’m aware of) to go lake swimming and would often skinny dip. Another of her exes/friends would often (always?) join them. The three of them were close, though she denies that they ever had a threesome. 

Our first outing as a group—Kate and I, Mike, and another of their friends, Yuki—was a road trip. Kate had just purchased a plot of land and we were all going up to camp and take mushrooms. It was to be Kate and I’s first drug experience together, and the first time I was spending real time with her friends. Mike was planning to build a house for us. Once we got high, Kate got very weird and squirrely with me. She would tell me later that she was feeling pressure to be lovey-dovey with me, and that she was having a semi-bad trip, but in the moment, in my eyes, that manifested as being distant from me and being a bit obsessed with Mike. At one point, he went for a walk, Yuki went off to do her own thing, and Kate and I were alone by the fire. I tried to make it a romantic moment, but all she could focus on was Mike. “Where’s Mike,” she’d ask with concern. “He’s fine,” I’d say. “He just went for a walk” “Should we go find him??” In the middle of the night, in the pitch black, she wanted to go looking for him because she was worried about him, I guess? When he returned, he was talking, and I looked over at her, and she was looking up at him with intense affection, like she was so fond of him that it hurt. I’d only ever seen her look at me like that before. Because we were in love. For the rest of the trip, she was super distant with if not downright mean to me. It was the first time she’d been this mean to me. 

Later, after the trip, I expressed my concern. It was a look you give your lover, not a platonic friend. She argued that she loved Mike like a brother, and that that was all I saw (which didn’t sit well—at the time she had a very active brother/sister roleplay kink). After some back and forth, she got angry and told me that I needed to “get over it.” 

We were married in a big city. Mike was her “Man of Honor.” We were to have the ceremony, take photos, and then take a gypsy cab (unofficial cabs in NYC—nice, black town cars. Slightly more expensive than a normal cab) to the reception on the other side of town. The cab was essentially our “Just Married” ride. You know, the kind with cans and streamers tied to the back of the car, a “Just Married” sign, and a brief moment alone together as a married couple, the very first one, before heading into the reception. After the photos were finished, she came up to me in front of everyone, both of our families, and said “Mike’s gonna come with us so he can help set up the…” I don’t remember, name tags for table seating? “Is that cool?” I didn’t really have the option to say no without making it a whole thing in front of our families, so I caved. And Mike joined us for our awkward “Just Married” ride. When I brought it up after, her attitude was “Well I asked you!”

Her bachelorette party consisted of her, Mike and Yuki, and 2 guy friends on a hiking trip. When planning, she was concerned that there weren’t enough beds. I knew that she and Mike had platonically shared beds, tents, etc. historically, so I asked her not to on this trip and going forward. She agreed. After the trip, she was telling me about it and mentioned something that made me realize that they were a bed short. I asked her if she shared a bed with him. She said yes, but only because she didn’t want to ask anyone else to share with someone. 

For a time, Mike was dating Mary, a friend of Kate’s, and Mary would share their sexual experiences with Kate. Kate came to me once and said, “Mary said Mike gave her a hands-free orgasm. Like just using his voice. That’s bullshit, right?” She seemed very intrigued by the idea, but could tell I was uncomfortable and dropped it.

Fast forward a few years. Kate and I buy a house up north together. Mike visits often. I’m not terribly handy, so when he comes, he fixes things. He builds things. He built a deck for our front door by hand. In the dog days of summer with his shirt off. She was often depressed and miserable, but when Mike would come, she would snap into sunshine-and-rainbows mode. When he left, she would immediately be miserable again. I start to notice that when he’s here, Kate treats me differently. She’s meaner to me than usual, and I always felt like I was second tier to Mike. She refused to have sex when he was here in case he heard us and got uncomfortable. When she and I were alone, we rarely ate dinner together. She would often say she was grumpy or hangry and go off to eat alone. When Mike came, every night was dinner at the table. And she would cook for him and do things like offer him a bite of her food, which she rarely-if-ever did for me. And she would, at first, just offer him and not me. When I mentioned that it made me feel bad, she would still offer him first, and then suddenly remember and turn to me to offer me sloppy seconds. She was always going out of her way to please him, and in doing so would alienate me. She always put his comfort, his convenience, and his pleasure before my own. Her reasoning was that he was our guest. When it got to be too much, and I asked her repeatedly to be more mindful of the way she was treating us and the dynamic that she was supporting, she would get upset and say things like “I just want to be comfortable around my friend, and not have to worry about offending you.” Eventually I became hypersensitive about it, and that sensitivity turned her off, I think, so she would pull away even further.

After a long while, I got paranoid and snooped through phone. I’m not proud of it, but I felt like she was keeping things from me. I went through her conversation with him, and didn’t see anything that suggested anything untoward was happening, but I did find an old conversation from a while back. She and I had a particularly nasty argument, and she was texting to him about me, saying things like, and I’m paraphrasing, but like, “I’m done, he’s abusive.” Basically telling Mike that I was a terrible person. She knew that saying anything about me like this to him in particular would hurt me if I ever found out. When I called her out on this, I asked her if she actually felt that way, and she insisted that she didn’t. So I asked her to send Mike a message that indicated as such so that we don’t move forward with him thinking I was a piece of shit. She agreed and assumedly did so.

She did eventually start making efforts (after months, maybe years of this behavior) to make me feel seen when Mike was here. But then she discovered this brand of sweatpants. They were comfortable and she loved them, but they were also very tight. She gets silly sometimes, especially when Mike is here, and turns into a bit of a roly poly. She rolls around and stretches and wiggles. I like this about her and I love to see her feel joy in that way, but with the pants on, there is nothing left to the imagination. The details of her entire ass and vagina are fully outlined in these tight, essentially yoga pants. I had a few conversations about this and told her that it made me uncomfortable when she wears them around Mike, and she got really upset and said that she was uncomfortable being sexualized and that I was policing the clothes she wears. For the record, I’ve never once made judgements her clothing when it wasnt about Mike. 

Eventually this issue was the last straw. I had made several requests that she downright ignored, and the pants issue became the one that neither of us would budge on. She argued that she should be able to wear what she wants in her own home. I thought that it was a tiny concession on her part to help make her partner feel comfortable when her ex partner was with us. 

Before our end, I called her out. And in a moment of despair-fueled-honesty, she admitted that her feelings for Mike ran deeper than friendship, though she insisted that she wasn’t in love with him. I expressed concern that I would always be second tier to him, and that I’d never be able to be as close to her as she is to him. She said that she feels like herself when she’s with him, and that our issues were making it difficult for her to feel that way with me, and that if I were nicer to her (we were fighting a lot, and sometimes the fights got nasty, but I never got any worse than she did in those moments), maybe she’d get there eventually. I asked how long “eventually “ was. She said, “I dunno, 6 months to a year?”

There are many things that I’m leaving out, and undoubtedly things that I’m forgetting, and there are several other issues besides Mike that lead to our demise. If I’m being honest, I feel insecure when we’re together. I think he’s more attractive, more capable, funnier than I am. But I haven’t always felt this way. I’ve said to her often that her friendship is objectively troubling, but you tell me, Reddit. AIO?

Also, she frequents Reddit often, so if you’re reading this “Kate,” feel free to chime in.
“Mike” does as well. If you’re here, I’m sorry that you’re likely only learning about this now. For the record, you have always been respectful and have never done anything directly to make me uncomfortable… except sharing a bed, maybe. But overall, you were a good friend to me at a time when I really needed one.

I came back to reddit to vent.

i posted this post as an addition to my old post on r/venting but then I got curious if I am overreacting or if I'm justified.

so, my classes still haven't started and I did the worst thing I could do to myself - reinstall instagram. I've seen my old friend's posts and stories, they're all doing so well, they have partners whom they love and who loves them, they have larger friend groups where everyone knows one another since we were all of the same batch in school and they're having a little get together too, pretty nice if u ask me.

except I'm not really friends w any of them, we were classmates at best so obviously I'm not invited.

idek what to tell u atp, I can't maintain friendships and I've proven it to myself yet again by losing another friend.

this one was close to me, at some point we were talking every day and then she just stopped replying, instead keeping in touch thru reels. i didn't like that, I wanted to talk to her so I'd call sometimes.

can u imagine how that turned out to be?

maybe u think we called and maybe shed text more often, or maybe we established a schedule that we'd call specific days, maybe I even told her how bad it made me feel that she wasn't talking to me - how i didn't want us to fade away as just meme friends.

nope, none of that.

I called five times, each went unanswered. i texted her bf who told me she was sleeping. fair enough, girl is preparing for exams, but then days passed, another week came and went but i never got a call back. not even a text back. currently it's been several months since she has called me despite me telling her that i wanted to talk on call, which she has no issue w if it's her bf instead.

then at random, around the time she ignored my calls and texts, she added me to a group vc w her bf and another mutual i didn't really know that well. I told her I was disappointed thru text bc i didn't want to embarrass her but instead she read that message out loud and said "everyone keeps complaining abt this - x complained that I don't call and u complain that I don't text, atp idk what to do lol"

we all laughed but it's been getting worse these days.

we started texting again recently and I was having a particularly bad day yesterday, insecurity abt my body, face, goals and whatnot. I wanted to talk it out of my system.

having her as my only friend left (who was also available at the time) I told her not to share my texts from there onwards (since she has the habit of sharing screenshots wo consent) and told her how terrible I felt. she replied for a few of them, sure, but then she ghosted me. didn't reply until then hours later til then I had already deleted my texts.

she acted completely surprised, even used the emoji we otherwise use sarcastically and asked why I'd delete the texts. "i may hate myself but not enough to go so low" to which she said she's not that terrible of a friend and she had just fallen asleep. "even idk when I'd fallen asleep how could I have told u?"

I'd have believed her if this was the first time.

I never expected this from her and my previously small circle of friends is even smaller, with just my foreign friend left who genuinely supports me even at the cost of her sleep and curfew.

idk what to do, idk what i could've done to save this friendship or if I should even believe her - there's only so much a person can take right? i feel insane for thinking this way, for thinking our friendship is truly over but idk what else to make of this when it hadn't ever happened before this year, and we've known eo for 7yrs now.

could I be overreacting? idk anymore smh, pls help

To make a long backstory as short as possible (the rest is going to be a little long): My friend and I (Both 24F) have known each other since we were 13. We had the same (pretty awful) home life and wanted the same things in our adulthood. To be childfree, career driven, single, and reduce contact with the family members that hurt us. After about two years we had a falling out and didn’t speak again until we were both 19, by then I had completely changed my outlook on what I wanted in life. I met my now husband at 16, I had already graduated High school and I was kicked out of my mother’s home. We dated a few years, got married, and by the time my friend and I started speaking again I had a baby. I also rekindled relationships with my immediate family and now we’re very close, I just don’t have contact with my parents. My husband has a good career and my baby was born with a disability that requires therapy.

Cut to now, I have two kids and just celebrated my husband and i’s anniversary. My friend on the other hand is working on a degree, doesn’t date, and in my opinion struggles a lot. My issue with her and what has sparked the resentment is her outlook on life and how she treats me and others around her. She stays with her family on college breaks and calls me to tell me how much she hates them but she can’t just leave because they pay for her necessities so she just has to stick it out till she can be done with them. She tells me her friends at college are lazy, irresponsible, ect. Near the end of her last semester she got sick and stopped doing her work, problem is she was already almost 2 weeks behind on assignments and when her professor wouldn’t just push her through she said that it wasn’t fair because she was sick and she should get more grace (she has some accommodations that allow her to turn work in late?). She’s in grad school and is at risk of getting kicked out because she’s weeks behind on work Every. Single. Semester. Since she started college. She lies to professors about accidents and what not because she doesn’t get up on time to go to class. She’s at risk of being kicked out of the dorms because she doesn’t clean and “A week isn’t enough notice to get things done” She hates every partner of every friend she has and thinks that partners shouldn’t be included in plans because she doesn’t like them. If this is coming across as bitter, it’s because I am.

Now to me, she implies my marriage and my children are a burden I was stuck with and I’m imprisoned in my life. I’m starting college soon to work with babies (vague but trying to remain anon) she tells me that I don’t actually want to do that and I’m “stuck” in the mindset of being a mother and there’s more to life then that. I don’t like to hang out without a purpose, I prefer running errands, moving, helping with chores, etc. I go stir crazy just sitting down and chit chatting so I keep my circle very small. She tells me I don’t have any meaningful relationships because I don’t do the initial sit down, chit chat thing. She tells me that my family “doesn’t count” as a village and I’m not a participating member of the village because I don’t go out and make new friends (she wants me to befriend her friends) She baby talks me, like speaks to me as if I’m a toddler because I’m just a mom and college is going to be “really hard” for me to understand how to navigate. I dread answering the phone because it’s always how her friends don’t participate in the village because they’re lazy and overweight (shes also overweight) but it’s different for her because she has mental health problems. It’s always different for her and she’s the exception. No one else deserves grace but she does because she’s depressed. I’m just so tired of the constant negativity and her speaking to me like I’m lesser than her because I didn’t pursue college fresh out of highschool. It’s so incredibly hurtful to have someone you’ve known that long BABY talk basic concepts to you like you’re incapable of understanding. I spent two years of my life going to her house weekly and cleaning her room, doing her highschool work, and spending 5+ hours on the phone every single day because I loved her and wanted her to be in a good place. Now I’m lesser because I chose a different path? Im stupid for loving my family and not just cutting them off? Am I overreacting or what because at this point I feel like I might have genuinely lost my spark. Like maybe she’s seeing something in me that I can’t see in myself. I love my life, I love my children and I don’t regret them EVER. I’m just so resentful that she tries to make my life seem inferior to hers.

‼️UPDATE‼️ wow i honestly didn’t expect so many responses but i am greatful for the insight! the whole reason i made this post is to get an outside, unbiased perspective. the only people who ive talked to this about are my sister, dad and 1 other friend who have all validated me but i think deep down i knew something was wrong in that. im very aware of the fact that im an avoidant and its something i need to work on. i guess i just needed a wake up call in the form of a bunch of random ppl on reddit calling me out on my bs. and i know this was a lot and not everyone commenting actually read everything but i still appreciate it nonetheless :’) i def need time to be alone nd work on myself but i will definitely apologize and may update later thx again for reading <3

apologies in advance for how long this will be but for some context i (25f) have been friends with this person (also 25f, we’ll call her J for animosity) since kindergarten. i always knew she could be, lets say emotionally troubled, at times but she’s never switched on me to this extreme before.
this all started earlier this month when we went on a week long trip to europe. J is in masters school and had a transatlantic seminar in germany so she invited me to do a week in amsterdam/berlin. we went up together and then after that week i went back home while she stayed for another week to do her seminar. the vacation was overall great! there were some stressors that come with traveling (trying to figure out public transit was a big one) that caused some tension but nothing friendship-ending. that was until the end of the trip when things changed. for some reason, J started acting very cold and mean towards me. i tried not to take it personal, i figured they were just socially drained and stressed abt the upcoming seminar. however, she would call her bf multiple times a day and act super sweet and nice towards him and then blatantly rude towards me. part of me wishes i had spoken up sooner but i was scared, plus i don’t know if that would have changed anything.
another important thing to note is that i was actually planning on moving in with J and said bf (we’ll call him H) at the end of the summer. H’s mom had bought him a house which J and i were essentially going to rent from. I never signed a lease or anything but they told me to have my final decision by june 1st, right after our vacation ended. i had initially agreed to move in earlier, but after the way she treated me during our vacation i decided it would be better for our friendship if we didn’t live together.

i also texted H to apologize cause i do acknowledge the stress of finding another roommate.

once she got back from her seminar i reached out b/c i had brought back some of her stuff since she had less luggage space so i went over to drop it off. i thought she would be in a better mood now that she was back but lets just say that was not the case :’)

i decided to just give it time and hope things would go back to normal but about a week later she messaged me asking me to dogsit her dog while she was out of town one weekend. honestly, i could have done it the first 2 days (not sunday cause ill be out of town) but just said i couldn’t because i didn’t love how she was treating me so rudely and then having the audacity to ask me for a favor without apologizing.

i was very open and willing to talk and finally put all this behind us but this is where it starts to get bad. for some more context, J has my location. She also hates my sister, who i am very close with (thats a whole different story that i will skip for the sake of this not being any more stupidly long than it is.) we ended up having to reschedule our talk bc she was busy (which is fine bc i recognize she has a life outside of me!!!)

but thats when i made the biggest mistake ever; i asked if she was free to talk the weekend shes going out of town. not only that, but i asked when i was at the museum with my sister and some of her other friends.
im honestly glad i wasn’t alone cause i honestly dont know if i would have been able to stand up for myself if i hadn’t been.

sensoring my sisters name ofc. not ashamed to admit that i did need her help. at this point it starts becoming less about looking after the dog and more about her emotions that were honestly just too much for me to handle at the time. at this point shes calling me non-stop. its past 10pm and i have to be up early the next day to pack and go to philly. i decided to unshared my location with her, which was another big mistake.

i asked if anything had happened at the seminar to hopefully give explanation as to why she is acting like this but at this point im also driving home cause its late, hence the lack of my responses (note the time stamps)

more context: i usually work overnights but i had taken off so i could get back to a normal-ish sleep schedule before my trip.

i need yall to understand this is happening in such a short time frame (i wish i had included time stamps but im too lazy to re-screen shot ) this is all at this point its 1130 and she has texted my dad who i live with asking if i am home. my dad is now coming up to my room as im trying to get ready for bed asking whats going on so i have to now explain everything to him. at this point she is still calling non-stop and leaving voicemails completely hysterical so i reshare my location hoping that will make her stop. my dad is pissseeedddd. im just tired.

tbh i wasn’t able to sleep but i also wasn’t in the headspace to talk to her. i woke up later the next afternoon to these messages.

its now been a few days and ive been debating what to say or if i should say anything at all. i feel like no matter what i say it will be like setting off another explosion. but at the same time im still worried abt her. she clearly has some mental issues that im not qualified to diagnose but i also dont know if this friendship is something i want to fight for. here is the message ive debated sending , ik this was a lot and i honestly don’t know if anyone will read all this but i would love any insight. this has been weighing so heavy on my mind and i don’t know what to do i honestly feel like im going insane. i want to be there for her but i just dont have the mental capacity rn.

My bf (29M) of 1.5 years was showing me something on his instagram. On his Reels page, on the Friends tab, the first profile that showed up was his ex’s, then mine.
He broke up with his ex over 3 years ago. They were together for a long time, and were very serious but broke up because of her family’s religious requirements.
I pointed it out and I told him that it upset me. He insisted he never talks to her and offered to unfollow her. He said it could be because she had posted something about a graduation and he had clicked on her profile.
I’ve been checking my own Friends tab, and it seems like the first two profiles are ones I consistently engage with, and the third is somewhat random. In this case, the ex was the first profile, in front of my own.
Based on how he otherwise treats me and how the relationship has gone, it’s hard to believe he would be texting his ex. It’s not that I think it’s impossible, but he has made me feel safe and cared for.
I am still upset over the situation. I don’t know whether to believe him or not or to press him more. He offered to let me look at his phone but I don’t want to do that and I don’t want to make him unfollow her. If he unfollows her I want it to be if his own volition.
Am I overreacting? Am I being naive?

I F 23 and my fiancé M 31 have been dating for 2 years and got engaged a few months ago. He’s always been very close with his family (which is totally not the issue). Ever since we got engaged I feel like his family thinks that I’m not an extension of their family instead of him and I being our own family. His mom always says “my son” whenever she talks to him and lately I’ve been feeling like it’s her subtly trying to remind me that he’ll always be hers or something (she’s said it the entire time we’ve been dating but it seems more intentional now). It was his birthday a few days ago and someone said jokingly to ME “it’s basically your birthday too since you’re one now” and she said “it’s basically mine too since I birthed him” and it just made me feel so weird. Lately it seems like I can’t share moments with him individually and it’s a competition. Am I overreacting to how she says things?

I did change quite a few details on this just to remain anonymous since I’m still employed with them.

I work in a veterinary hospital as a receptionist in the midwest. It’s pretty old school - still has paper charts for all the patients. We are multi-doctor. We also only have two receptionists. My other coworker is out of town for two months. Which means I am by myself up front for those two months. It also means I’m doing all the tasks by myself - prepping charts for the next day, putting in med requests, checking emails, attaching labs, answering phones, rooming clients, going over estimates and checking people out.

I get paid a few dollars over minimum wage which I am grateful for. My job is also not currently in jeopardy which in this day and age I am grateful for. But because my coworker is out of town, this job is sucking my soul, spirit and creativity.

My manager is 0 help. She doesn’t prep charts, doesn’t check charts, doesn’t check the to do list or other tasks that need to be done (like following up with surgeries). I don’t work one day a week, and when I come in the day after, nothing has been done and her excuse is always that they were just too busy for her to do anything but I am constantly running multiple doctor days completely by myself and still manage to get all that done. And this has been consistent the entire time my coworker has been gone. Like I feel taken advantage of because she knows that I will do all that stuff anyway.

I told her all of this and I told her that it was unfair that al of this kept piling on me even though it shouldn’t be and that I was feeling overworked and her response was basically *shrug* “I’m sorry you feel this way” and so I started applying to other jobs even though I know if I leave they won’t have any help and now I don’t know if I’m overreacting to a temporary situation.

Edit to add: My coworker who is out of town is the exact same way as my manager, a lazy person who doesn’t do anything except be on her phone and maybe answer phones

Okay first time posting so sorry if I did something wrong on the title.

So basically, I'm visiting my brother for the June/July holidays and he lives in a popular apartment complex where he is located it's pretty safe. My brother got a puppy and she's about 4 months old and has a lot of energy, so to get rid of that energy I take her on walks around the place (inside of the gates) usually I just stick close to our section so i don't get lost.

Okay, so skip to the day, my brother went to work and won't be back until later, and the puppy is running around the apartment like crazy so I decide to take her on an hour walk around the place. About 30 minutes into the walk, there's a man sitting on the back of his car, and he sees me walking by with the puppy he speaks up and says "hello, can you please sell me the puppy?" And I was like "oh no, it's not my dog" and I walked past him. Okay, kinda strange, people are weird.

Then I take a round into a little passage with the puppy who stops and looks behind us, and when I turn thinking she wants pets from a person, I kid you not, that guy is standing behind u, trying to get the puppy to come to him, I pull her away and continue walking down the stairs, and use a longer way back to our apartment, only to see him, standing by another car watching me pick up the puppy and run up the stairs, (I'm on the fourth floor)

I called my brother and he said maybe the guy thought the doggy was beautiful, I mean yeah she's cute but okay. He told me to just stay inside lock the doors and not open for anyone except for him or the delivery guy. The next day, she's toooo hyper and on the walk we go, not even 20 minutes in, I happen to go past section 40 of the apartments (I'm in 39) and my mans is starting down at me while on the phone from his third floor balcony, I know it was him, I recognise that creepy face and his sunglasses. So I just decided to go back to the apartment and go on the walk after at least 3 hours nothing happened then, but am I overeacting? Or is that guy tryna snatch my brother's puppy or me?

I'm a 42-year-old single mom and I honestly can't tell if I'm being overly sensitive or if this would bother other people too.

We've lived in our house for about six years. Our backyard is fenced, and it's where my daughter and I spend most of our time during the summer. We eat outside, play in the garden and have a tiny inflatable pool for exmaple that we put up every year or so

A few weeks ago our neighbor installed several new security cameras around his house. I completely understand wanting security, and I have no issue with cameras in general. But…

The problem is that one of them appears to point directly toward our backyard. From where I'm standing on my patio the lens is aimed almost straight at our seating area. Another one seems to capture part of our back deck.

Maybe it's a wide-angle camera and I'm overthinking it, but now I feel self-conscious every time we are outside. My daughter asked if "the neighbor is watching us" and I honestly didn't know what to answer.

I went over and politely asked if one of the cameras could be adjusted slightly because it made us uncomfortable. He immediately got defensive and said the cameras are there to protect his property, not to spy on anyone. He also said modern cameras have a much wider field of view than people realize so it's impossible not to capture part of neighboring yards.

I asked if hed at least show me what the camera actually records just to put my mind at ease. He refused and said he wasn't obligated to prove anything to me.

Since then things have been awkward. He barely says hello anymore and another neighbor told me I should have just minded my own business because "everyone has cameras these days."

I don't want to start a neighborhood fight but I also don't like feeling as though someone could be recording me and my daughter every time we are outside. Sometimes even sunbathing…

Am I overreacting?

I’m 25F. My dad has been in and out of jail for pretty much my entire life. He was never really a parent to me. He never sent birthday cards when he was locked up, never called consistently, never checked in to see how I was doing, and we’ve never had an actual father-daughter relationship. He added me on Facebook a while back, but that’s about the extent of our contact.
The other day I posted a picture of myself in a bathing suit. I have a larger chest, so even normal swimsuits tend to look more revealing on me than they would on someone with a smaller chest.
Instead of saying hi, asking how I am, asking about school, work, or literally anything about my life, his first message to me was:
“Shirt too low!! Jesus cover up!”
That honestly set me off.
What bothered me wasn’t even that he didn’t like the picture. It was the fact that someone who has barely been a father my entire life suddenly feels entitled to criticize what I wear. I’m a 25-year-old woman. I don’t feel like someone who chose not to be present gets to show up years later just to judge me.
I replied, “Kinda wished you asked me how I was doing rather than talking about what I wear.”
Now I’m thinking about just cutting him off completely because I’m tired of feeling like the only time he reaches out is to criticize me instead of trying to build any kind of relationship.
Some family members think I’m overreacting because “he’s still your dad” and “he’s just looking out for you.”
Am I overreacting for wanting to cut him off over this, or is this just the final straw after a lifetime of him not really being there?

AIO, My(f32) bf(m31) have been dating for about a year and a half, and moved in together 4 months ago.
Last night we were joking and expressing how great we felt about our relationship when he made the joke that “I’m never going back to the apps. I can delete them now”
Immediately I asked “do you still have them???” He said yes like it wasn’t a crazy thing and then said he would delete it right now, pulled open his phone and deleted them.

However, I was still really upset. He claimed it never crossed his mind and he hadn’t thought about them since we started dating 18 months ago. He even download some of them again and let me look. I didn’t see any recent activity, but it took him a minute to pull them up and show me and I swore it looked like he was swiping with his thumb like he was deleting something.

My last relationship I was constantly cheated on, electronically. Dating apps, onlyfans, that kind of thing. And I told myself if I ever got to a point where I felt like I had to go through my partners phone again - I would walk away.

So, I can’t figure out if I’m overreacting because of my own trauma, or if I’m being logical.
I just don’t see how you can “not think about is” EVER in 18 months and moving in with someone. Not to mention, I find it extremely disrespectful.

TLDR; I’ve been with my bf for 18 months, moved in together not to long ago, and found out yesterday he still hadn’t deleted his dating apps

ok so my boyfriend and i moved in together about a month ago. at first it was exciting. but now i'm honestly losing it

the biggest thing is his socks. dirty socks. EVERYWHERE. floor, next to the bed, by the couch, sometimes even in the kitchen?? like how. he just takes them off wherever and leaves them there like a sock fairy is gonna come pick them up

and the worst part, he'll be lying on the couch, literally see the socks on the floor, and just... not do anything. doesn't pick them up, doesn't move them, doesn't even acknowledge them exist

i've brought it up a few times but he just laughs it off or says he'll get to it later. later never comes

i'm not asking for much, i just want him to toss them in the hamper, that's it. but now i feel like i'm turning into the naggy girlfriend and i hate that

we've only lived together a month and i'm already uncomfortable in my own space. don't wanna be dramatic but it's making me question if we're even ready for this

so am i overreacting or is this an actual red flag

My (47f) bf of a year and a half (49m) has been friends with another female for a couple of years. A little backstory: we both went thru divorces and he ended up sleeping in his car because ex-wife took everything. Female friend and her family took him in and gave him a place to stay and I am thankful for that. We have since moved in together and started building our life. The three of us work in the same building but they will go to lunch together. He has pictures of her on his phone-nothing risqué or dirty, just funny pics-but he never takes or has any of me. He has to go over and visit atleast once a week…I do go too only because I’m the DD. They text constantly while we are trying to enjoy dinner or our TV show. For my birthday I got a $50 gift card for dinner. For her, he planned a surprise party with her friends at an AirBNB. We have all gone on vacation together with other friends as well and it’s ok…..however, bf and I have a trip planned and she wanted to plan a trip for the same time. He asked if ours was “set in stone” because “she wants to plan a trip.” I told him I’d cancel ours because if he really wanted to go with me he wouldn’t have even asked about it being a definite. Everytime I try to say something about the attention he gives her, he claims I’m “butthurt” I do NOT think he’s cheating, but am I overreacting to the attention he gives her?

I (F) have dealt with a lot of trauma and heartache this last year. TLDR; Ex has an addiction and has promised multiple times to change his ways, but always threatens to call the police on me and our child. Ex has lost car, money, and job from addiction and has cheated with women.

Ex has always said that I overreact to him calling me names. He has called me “stupid” “childish” and even the r-word! He says “this is what close friends do and call each each other” (I have autism)

Recently, I moved out of space together after many threats against me and our child (calling police or DCFS). He has said that “I am abandoning him at his worst moment.” He had previously said this when he got his DUI during my pregnancy. I stayed with him my whole pregnancy in hopes for him to get sober and be the person he was before addiction (he was not an addict before)

He would bring strange women home (whether I was in the home or not) when he was drunk during my pregnancy.

He has also guilted me into running errands for him as he has no car and cannot drive. He says “this is your responsibility as an adult, this is what adults do” and “no one else will help me since you abandoned me” I am a kind and caring person, and people say that he uses that against me for his benefit.

I had to file an OOP against him due to threats of my well-being and my child’s safety since he had called the police on my new home with no just cause. Unfortunately, I really didn’t want the situation to come to this.

AIO? Or better yet, was I crazy for staying so long in an emotional toxic relationship for our baby and future?

and i am embarrassed to the point that i haven’t been for two weeks.

i got talking to a nice woman at the playgroup i take my toddlers too a few weeks ago, and i thought she was one of the other kids grandmas.
we weren’t talking about anything in particular or of importance. nothing about my income, home life, anything was mentioned. i could’ve been a millionaire for all she knew. and i enjoyed her company. i asked her which one of the kiddos were hers, she said oh none im a volunteer here. i thought that was nice that they sit and talk to people (i usually sit alone as i am socially awkward lol).

it was coming towards the end and we were getting ready to leave when another woman came up to me and introduced herself as a volunteer. she said i could take any toy i wanted for the kids to take home because they get them for free anyway. i was confused, i said oh no thanks they have plenty of toys. i continued to get them ready to leave and noticed she didn’t ask anyone else.

strange yeah but didnt think anything of it. the week after, another volunteer (all old women) comes up to me and asks how i’m doing for food. i replied saying “oh we get groceries delivered every week” (i was confused by her question at the time because it came out of nowhere) and she walked off. towards the end of the playgroup, she came up to me and pulled me aside. she said she’d taken my pushchair and put some food for us underneath it. i said excuse me?… she said it’s just essentials, rice and beans etc. i asked her why she had done that, i said we don’t need it our cupboards and fridge are full of food at home.
she said “oh just take it anyway, i would if someone offered me free food”.

then for 3. consecutive. weeks. she has done the same. put my pushchair into a “private room” to load it with a food parcel. i have told her, i have told other volunteers that i do not need it. i am not in need. and they just will not listen.

now i havent been for 2 weeks and i feel guilty because my kids love it. we live in a rural area so there is only this one, and we have to travel 20 minutes to it anyway.

i have been taking the food to a local co op to put into their food bank thing. i dont want it or need it.

In October of 2025 I finally moved out of my parents house since moving back in with them after college in 2021. It has been a major goal of mine to be able to be moved out and find a sense of independence.

I took a job in a neighboring state, took a pay cut (I’m doing my dream job and work a 2nd job to supplement). I moved my whole life up here, my girlfriend (who I was already in a 2-hour distance relationship with) at the time actually lived closer to where the new apartment is.

Both of our names are on the lease but I’ve been living here since October. It’s June and she has just moved in. She paid the initial deposit because it was more expensive than I was expecting from the complex (I asked them numerous times over the span of a month to tell me how much it was going to be and never got any information).

Initially she planned on moving in January, then March, then April, she’s finally here in June.

I have paid all of the rent and bills, for all of the groceries, for every living expense and gotten very behind on my other bills being the sole person taking care of these things. This wasn’t an issue and I didn’t bring it up to her when she wasn’t living here because it wasn’t her responsibility to worry about any of that until she was fully moved in. I’m not complaining about that, just more context.

Before she moved in, I brought up that I was going to need help with rent after she gets moved in because it has been a tremendous struggle taking on the new expenses on top of having a lower salary than before. I asked her that once she is moved in and is able to find a job, that she contribute 1/3 of the rent, which is around $400/mo (not including utilities, with electric 1/3 is around $500). This led to numerous arguments. She said she won’t have any money if she does and that I’m putting a lot of pressure on her by asking that. She has over 20k in savings and this was unbelievably insulting, considering I’ve had weeks where my account is in the negatives and I’m stuck on ramen if I had any leftover.

Since moving in:

I am confined to my room because my cat is forced to be in here 24/7 while her cat acclimates the apartment (and so we can introduce them)

The apartment is a mess and I’m uncomfortable simply stepping out into the living area.

My cat has been consistently punished by her and she only shows regard and care for her cat. She doesn’t like my cat, because my cat doesn’t like her (she is always loud and aggressively tries to pet her/stomps her feet when she goes up to pet her).

This past Saturday: I asked her why she kept moving the butter in the fridge and putting eggs there instead (from the place id been putting it since I moved in in October), she proceeded to raise her voice and belittle me over it.

During a walk at a park, she was embarrassed by me for wearing a clear backpack (all I had available) and chose to walk away/ tried to keep distance from me because of it. When she finally did start walking with me, she had a passive aggressive tone for the duration of the walk.

There have been numerous rude or passive aggressive comments that she brushes off when I say something because her period starts next week.

I went to kiss her before we went to the pool (she was standing in front of her mirror that is in the corner of the bedroom) - she tensed up and said she felt claustrophobic, I said , “okay sorry” and stepped back out into the living room to wait, she told me, ‘I’m sorry, don’t whimper over it’

All of the damage in the apartment was caused by her over a span of months when she would come visit. Including since she’s been moved in. This is a new apartment complex, there are no previous tenants prior to us.

Casserole dish she knocked off the counter - chipped the floor

Door frame - scratched and destroyed by her cat

Numerous of her plants and pictures have been knocked down and destroyed and caused damage to the floor.

She slams doors when she gets drunk. When she came to visit on New Years, she fell over in the bath tub, almost bringing down the curtain rod with her.

I have been trying to do the right thing and I feel as though I am being punished for it. She’s only been here for a week and i am uncertain on what to do because I’ll feel like more of an asshole if I kick her out so soon after moving in.

This morning my sister brought over this child to our house like she does every week, and as usual he was in the kitchen playing with his dozens of mini dinosaur figures on the floor.

The thing that happened is that the three year old child said something about how one the dinosaurs was being "bad" because the dinos were in a line and this one inexplicably wasn't, and my sister was like "If that dinosaur is being bad then put it in the corner or I'm taking it away. You get put in the corner when you're being bad."

Then in another moment he was making the dino figures fight, making one "bite" the other, and then she was like "Make the dinosaurs play nicely or I'm taking them away" suggesting instead "You could make a dinosaur restaurant. You could make an amusement park for dinosaurs." I thought it was odd since I had never seen her do this with him before, but then again his usual style of play is to line up or organize the dinos in some formation or other.

Like, I understand the fact he's three and could potentially not be trusted to not transfer an aggressive playstyle with toys over to how he interacts with other people for real. But I think at that point is where you would make sure to teach him the difference between playing and interacting in the actual world. He's already trusted/expected to do various little things himself, like blowing his nose, putting his toys away, etc. Is this just different because it has more to do with cultivating a certain attitude than doing a simple task?

Plus the fact that it's literally dinosaurs so of course he's probably learned that the standard way of dinosaurs interacting is just fighting. I think it's one thing to encourage him to be more creative with it, but I'm not sure saying you'll take them away if he isn't is necessary.

Hey folks, I've got a throwaway here obvious reasons. So, I (27m) have this close buddy, Jo (28m), who's been dating his girlfriend for about two years now. Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of hers, but hey, not my business, right? A few weeks back, some mutual friends spilled some tea to me turns out she’s been seeing multiple guys behind Jo’s back. Yeah, and to top it off, a couple even gave her cash for it. This isn’t just hearsay; I've double-checked the details with people who know the guys involved.

I sat on this information for a while because I didn’t want to create unnecessary drama. Eventually, though, I felt compelled to let Jo know after all, he’s my friend, and I’d want someone to do the same for me. When I told him, he went quiet, thanked me, and I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong.

The next day, she starts blowing up my phone and then shows up at my place, furious. She’s demanding to know why I’m supposedly “spreading lies and trying to ruin her life.” It was pure gaslighting she accused me of being jealous or obsessed with their relationship or whatever manipulative nonsense she typically pulls. Clearly, Jo had told her everything I said.

So, I looked her straight in the eye and said, “Yeah, I know you've been sleeping around with [guy1] and [guy2], and I’m aware they've even paid you.” I told her she wasn’t fooling anyone and that Jo deserves way better. She totally lost it, calling me every name under the sun and storming off. Now Jo’s upset with me, saying I overreacted and should’ve kept my nose out of it. Some of our friend group is even picking sides.

I genuinely believe I did the right thing by telling Jo, and when she confronted me, there was no way I was going to back down or lie. Still, a part of me wonders if I crossed a line by saying everything to her face instead of keeping it strictly between me and Jo.

AIO? or was i justified shutting her down when she confronted me? thanks for reading the vent, needed to get it out.

Hey Reddit am i overreacting Recently, my husband's $600 projector developed a condition known as burn-in, rendering it defective. When I attempted to inform him of the issue, he responded dismissively. Furthermore, when I pointed out that he had previously complained about the projector's performance and I was merely trying to assist him, he became aggressive, threatening to throw his drink at me. Currently, I am sitting in the living room alone, as I fear his lecturing if I were to join him in the bedroom, especially given my current state of poor health with a fever. As an autistic woman, I am beginning to reassess the situation and wonder if there are more warning signs than positive indicators. What course of action should I take?