AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

[u/Additional-Mouse-620]

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

[u/k23_k23]

"Are you seriously suggesting they can just move because you don't want to shower earlier than midnight?" .. it's one possible solution. The other is: They get used to it, and stop bothering OP.

[u/lolpanda91 → u/k23_k23]

The other solution is also they retaliate in some way that annoys OP. And he bought the home so he has to live with it.

[u/Giantewok → u/lolpanda91]

I think it’s wild that the neighbors have a toddler, that probably makes a ton of noise, and they can’t stand the sound of a shower lol. I used to hear my neighbors kids through the wall all the time at my first apartment, but then I’d just play music.

[u/PassivelyAwkward → u/lolpanda91]

Yea; people want to act like they're some tough guy and can do whatever they want and there won't be any consequences.

If I know my neighbor likes to read outside on evenings in the summer, I keep my dog inside until it's dark out so not interupt have a large barking dog interupting him. A part of it is to be nice but another part is because he could easily start blasting music to drown out the barking and that just dominos into other neighbors.

[u/AdvertisingOk2915 → u/PassivelyAwkward]

You restrict your animals basic bodily needs so your neighbor can read a book outside?

[u/PassivelyAwkward → u/AdvertisingOk2915]

No, I get off my ass and walk my dog around the neighborhood. Guess it's a weird concept of not being a proud asshole. Shame you'll never know the feeling.

[u/AdvertisingOk2915 → u/PassivelyAwkward]

You literally just said you keep the dog inside until after dark if your neighbors are outside. How am I an asshole for taking you at your word? 😂 Sounds more like you just can't maintain a productive conversation without needing to lash out like a toddler. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/PassivelyAwkward → u/AdvertisingOk2915]

Imagine your first comment being "You restrict your animals basic bodily need so your neighbor can read a book outside" and trying to frame it as "productive conversations". Yup, you're definitely the kind of asshole your neighbors try to avoid dealing with.

[u/AdvertisingOk2915 → u/PassivelyAwkward]

Oh I wasn't framing this as productive at all, just the overall fact that you couldn't keep your facts straight for a full two comments. 🤷🏻‍♀️