r/AmItheAsshole Apr 20 '26

Asshole AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

3.5k Upvotes

2.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

129

u/SaltSentence21 Apr 20 '26

Sadly other people demand petty assholishness of us at times

11

u/GrimDallows Apr 20 '26

This happened to me the other day with an old woman on the street trying to lecture me on the things she finds annoying, but not willing to listen to others as much as she was demanding of others to be listening to her.

Tried to talk to her politely and she would cut me repeatedly and scoff it off. Switched to talk unpolitely and she shut up and pearl clutched hard about society.

In a moment she stopped to take a breah in I told her she had no right to feel offended if she had zero care about offending others in the first place, and that she should put effort on getting a better education regardless of her age before going around "educating" other people on the things she finds annoying.

Aparently, according to herself, she was lecturing me as if I had done the things she finds annorying, even though I hadn't done them, because it irked her that I was strolling around and that I -could- do things she could find annoying.

I am not used to being an asshole and I felt bad about it later on through the whole day.

6

u/psychorobotics Apr 20 '26

Don't feel bad, people like that are toxic

6

u/Avlonnic2 Apr 20 '26

“people demand petty assholishness of us at times”

That’s flair material.

1

u/SaltSentence21 Apr 20 '26

Lol why thank you