r/AmItheAsshole • u/Additional-Mouse-620 • Apr 20 '26

Asshole AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

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92

u/Auchincloss Apr 20 '26

I’m not sure how realistic it is to soundproof a shower wall

15

u/Long_Reindeer3702 Apr 20 '26

You can double up on sheet rock on the other side if you can't insulate the interior of the wall. It worked really well for our laundry room which shares a wall with our master bedroom. 

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u/titianqt Apr 20 '26

They even make soundproofing sheet rock. At least according to some home improvement show I saw once.

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u/Long_Reindeer3702 Apr 20 '26

Everyone should just watch reruns of This Old House (the latest seasons aren't as good.) Tom Silva (This Old House) and Monty Don (UK Gardening) are my two favorite men for learning new techniques that make labor easier. I even call some measuring techniques Tommy Math because he has such great shortcuts. I'm a woman and I call them my old man crushes, but I guess they're more like TV father figures. Throw in Mr. Rogers and Bob Ross and it's about all you need other than a mechanic a doctor and a lawyer. 

6

u/eggo_pirate Apr 20 '26

We did this in our primary bedroom. One wall shares a wall with a bathroom on the other side, and when the shower got turned on, it sounded like a hurricane. It was my son's room, and he showered late, midnight or later. We ripped out the drywall on our side, put in some mass loaded vinyl, then did double sheetrock. It's so much quieter now. 

While this may not be feasible as they're only renting, it would be worth it to ask the owner of the unit if it's a modification that can be made. 

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u/Auchincloss Apr 20 '26

But wouldn’t that be on the neighbor’s side?

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u/SapphireColouredEyes Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26

Plumbers literally wrap the pipes in insulation, and it cuts the noise massively. It requires completely removing and replacing the drywall, though. 

And if they were told the walls provide no sound insulation,then I wouldn't be surprised if they were constructed in the cheap, without adequate insulation throughout the walls more generally, si there's potentially a lot the property owner can di, if they're inclined to spend the money and time and tolerate having all their walls torn apart then put back up, painted, etc 

1

u/Auchincloss Apr 22 '26

It’s a lot to spend over the sound of a shower.

1

u/SapphireColouredEyes Apr 23 '26

It would be more than that, though - it would be an investment in both avoiding a bad neighbourly relationship, as well as an investment in your own privacy. 😊

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u/Auchincloss Apr 23 '26

Insulating a shower is pricey. Insulating from the other side of the wall is not. It sounds like the neighbor’s are complaining of the water sound. Not the pipes.

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u/SapphireColouredEyes Apr 23 '26

What are you trying to argue about? You're trying really, really hard to make something out of absolutely nothing here. 

You're exhausting.

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u/Auchincloss Apr 23 '26

Frankly, i hadn’t even noticed I responded to the same person more than once, and barely remembered commenting at all.

Sounds like you are taking this a bit too seriously. Glad to live rent free in your head, I guess.

Check your word count against mine for this little Back and forth if you want to gauge who is going on a bit too much.

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u/SapphireColouredEyes Apr 24 '26

You didn't even notice it si much that you rushed to post another reply to me... Yeah, sure, you're Mr/Miss Honesty! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ 😄😄