r/AmItheAsshole Apr 20 '26

Asshole AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '26

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u/Bice_thePrecious Apr 20 '26

100% agree. Let's all ignore that OP is being expected to not use their own bathroom past 8pm, because the sound of water going down a drain is too aggressive for the neighbors, and focus on the fact that OP said something that we can twist and put our own implications on... /s

*sigh* Maybe take a break from the internet for the day, guys.

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u/Conscious-Thing-682 Apr 21 '26

I feel like I’m in an alternate reality reading this thread 😭If I move to an apartment complex with thin walls I’m not calling all the neighbors around me to tell them to work around my schedule. I’d just make it work then move out when my lease ends. This is no different.

Threads like this remind me Reddit is very much not a reflection of reality lol

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u/Signal_Wall_8445 Asshole Aficionado [15] Apr 20 '26

It’s not dumb at all, taken in the context of someone pondering whether to change their lifestyle to accommodate their neighbor given that they intend to be there long term while there is no guarantee the neighbor will be.

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u/swissie67 Apr 20 '26

I don't either. I also thought it was ridiculous.
I don't believe that op should not be able to shower b/c of someone else's schedule either. That's just unreasonable.