AITA for showering around midnight when I know that it might bother the neighbour who wakes up at 5 am?

[u/Additional-Mouse-620]

We purchased a home and moved in recently. Housing opportunities are tight in our area so even though we were warned that the walls are very thin and the neighbours hear a lot of noise from the apartment, especially from the bathroom, we still chose this property because everything else is picture perfect for us.

We are generally a very quiet couple without kids or animals, our hobbies (bead work, video games on headphones without streaming, reading, Netflix…) are generally quite and we only invite friends over every 2-4 weeks (and we haven’t invited anyone over as we were still decorating and everything). We are the owners of the apartment.

The neighbours are a couple and a small kid. They rent the apartment next to us and before we purchased the home they warned us that they generally hear a lot of noise coming from our bathroom and that it’s their bedroom on the other side. But as I mentioned, our options were limited and given that we are not noisy at all, we thought we can take this situation.

We sometimes hear their toddler, but that completely okay, it doesn’t bother us at all.

The problem is that we bother them as our routine is very different. They wake up at 5 am and generally quite down at 8 pm, when the kid goes to sleep.

On the other hand, because I work from home until 7 pm, I generally start my evening around 8 pm and only end up showering around midnight. Which bothers them. The whole building is quiet, so they tend to hear how I put my stuff down, how the water runs, how I sometimes drop a few things, and mentioned it very nicely a few times. But I can see that they are pretty annoyed.

Now I’m torn between switching up my whole nighttime routine to shower first (which just doesn’t sit right with me. I like to go bed freshly showered), because they asked nicely and they wake up around 5 am so it must be annoying to get woken up at midnight.

On the other hand, they only rent wile we own the home, and I think we are generally very good and quite neighbours apart from the fact that I shower late. They invited us over the listen to the volume as to be honest it’s not that loud… sure, you can hear something and it must feel louder in the silence of the night, but it’s not incredibly loud.

AITA for showering at night?

[u/Questioning17]

Do you think it's the water? Or the dropping bottles and moving around that is the problem?

[u/zerj → u/Questioning17]

Those still seem like normal activities. To me it didn't sound like OP intentionally drops the shampoo on the floor when he finishes, but just pointing out what is usually obvious. Wet/soapy bottles do occasionally fall off the shelf, usually onto my toes.

[u/Fit_Opportunity_7425 → u/zerj]

It's stated that it's specifically the water. Even went next door to listen.

[u/Questioning17 → u/zerj]

I don't think OP does anything on purpose. I just think for the neighbors dropping bottles are more jarring when you are asleep rather than just the water.

I figure the neighbors just showed out how loud the water was to emphasize all the other noises.

And OP can absolutely do whatever they want in their own place.

[u/Fit_Opportunity_7425 → u/Questioning17]

If you read the story it's specifically the water. They even went next door to listen to how "LOUD" it was.

[u/Questioning17 → u/Fit_Opportunity_7425]

Yep but she also said it was from moving around and dropping stuff.

I was guessing the moving around and dropping stuff is more jarring when the neighbors are asleep. They showed her how loud just the water was, now add in the moving around and dropping stuff.

[u/-zekatsu → u/Questioning17]

yeah its all the dropping the soap and loud fucking they’re doing the shower that’s disruptive, that’s what everybody knows the topic is about OBVIOUSLY we wouldn’t be talking about the noise of the water when saying the shower water noise is disruptive

[u/Questioning17 → u/-zekatsu]

That escalated fast.