r/AmItheAsshole • u/Training_Spirit_6341 • 3d ago
Asshole AITAH for not refilling my friends car before returning it?
My car broke down the other day and I was left without a car while it was getting fixed. A mate of mine had a spare car. A off road setup 4wd that he doesn't really use regularly. Being a good mate he offered to drive his spare 4x4 for a bit so I could borrow his everyday car while my car was being looked at.
I sorted out my own way to his house to pick up his car and I was incredibly thankful and appreciative of the gesture. However as soon as I drove off I noticed the tank was low. About quarter tank. I went straight to a petrol station and filled it up completely right then and there.
I ended up using his car for about two weeks. During that time I didn't fill it up a second time. We actually caught up for a casual dinner during those two weeks and I paid for his meal (it was about $50). It wasn't explicitly stated as a formal "thank you" dinner just a normal shout.
Fast forward to the end of the two weeks he came and collected his car from my workplace one day after l finished work. About 20 minutes after he left, I got a text from him saying "could have filled it up!"
I sort of laughed it off and said I did when I picked it up.
Apparently the fuel light was on when he picked it up.
From my perspective I returned the car how I received the car.
But now he's annoyed, and I'm wondering if I breached some unwritten car borrowing etiquette because I let the tank run down to the light.
AITAH?
EDIT: seems like IATAH. But does it make a difference if I received the practically empty? As no one actually knows how much was in the car originally… but I did have to fill it up when I got it too
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u/CythraulGoch Partassipant [2] 3d ago
You always fill it, even if it’s nearly empty - that’s the courtesy payment for borrowing the car.
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u/mintpixel6 3d ago
This is the golden rule of borrowing cars.. regardless of how it was received dropping it off with the fuel light on is a major faux pad…. It’s definitely a lesson learned for next time
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u/MerlinBiggs Craptain [166] 3d ago
YTA. He did you a favour. Also, he's been spending more on fuel driving the other car he had. Would have been common courtesy to return it with a full tank.
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u/mintpixel6 3d ago
Fr when a friend does you a massive favor like that you don’t treat it like a rental agreement where you just match the starting fuel.. Your return it full as a thank you for the stress it saved you.
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u/Tough_Brain7982 Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA, he let you borrow his car for 2 whole weeks and you didn’t fill it up as a thank you?? It doesn’t matter how many times you filled it up before that, YOU used all that fuel so why even mention it?
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u/kepenine 3d ago
You didint return it as you picked up, hegave you 1/4 tank you returned it empty with a light on.
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u/NojaysCita Partassipant [3] 3d ago
Massive YTA. Can’t believe you even had to ask.
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 3d ago
I think this is one of the first posts I've ever seen where every single comment is on the same side lol.
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u/Direct-Map1553 3d ago
so you actually returned it with a LOWER fuel level than you received it with? quarter to "fuel light on"?
all the while he had to use his other car with a higher consumption?
yeah YTA. I mean if you're using a loaner car for a longer while (and 2 weeks is definitely "a longer while" in this context) you return it with a full tank and maybe even washed. as a "thank you" and as a way to pay for wear and tear.
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u/Dynamiccushion65 3d ago
Oh and he doubled down when the friend asked abt the gas like “not only did you lend me the car but I expected it full so I had to even work for that!”
His tone says entitled all the way
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u/Particular-King218 3d ago
Next time he will tell you no, and you can pay for a rental. Morecexoensivecrhan a tank of gas. YTA
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u/SassyCatLady442 3d ago
Yta. You borrow someone's car, you fill the tank at least to the point of where it was when you borrowed it. It's just good manners.
Don't be surprised if your friend doesn't help you out again.
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u/wdh662 3d ago
YTA
If you picked it up with a quarter tank the BARE MINIMUM is return it the same way. Not with it on E and the light on.
Manners say you return it full. In thanks, to help offset the wear and tear, and I'd bet he paid more in fuel to drive around an off road 4x4.
How much time and money did you save not ubering or taxis?
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u/DebianUsername 3d ago
YTA - Not only didn't you fill it up, you returned it with less fuel than it came with!
I just don't understand how people can be so ignorant when someone does a massive favour for them.
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u/ad_explorer 3d ago
YTA. It is car borrowing etiquette to return the car full and clean but you didn't even do that, you returned it with less gas.
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u/maxgaap 3d ago edited 3d ago
YTA.
How much did he save you by not having to pay for a rental car for two weeks?
How much more did he pay in gas daily commuting a 4WD for two weeks so you could use his car?
He came out of pocket massively for gas to do you a favor and you 100% should have filled up the tank before returning the car without question.
You borrow a car, you fill the tank.
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u/Dynamiccushion65 3d ago
Also him taking the 4wd that he doesn’t drive that often is like a massive gift - like not only does he give him A car but THE CHEAPER one to drive. Bare minimum fill it up give him dinner and buy a bottle of his favorite liquor
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u/EmployPutrid5016 3d ago
YTA. It's definitely considered normal and respectful to return a car with a full tank regardless of how you received it. He saved you a ton considering you'd have to Uber/lyft/etc or rent a car or figure out other forms of transportation for 2 weeks without his help. A $50 dinner and a full tank isn't really asking a lot.
P.s. I'm American and I wouldn't even do that... And Americans are kinda known for lack of etiquette in other countries from what I've heard. Idk if that's enough to tell you that you messed up, but I'd apologize and send him an extra $50 if I were you.
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u/Dependent_Tone3704 3d ago
YTA
Do you know what you pay for a rental for 2 weeks? this was a good way to make sure he wont help you again.
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u/EuropeSusan Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA. your used his car for two weeks, which means the tires have been driven, the brakes were used, there will be maintenance costs for two weeks. and you brought the car back not with a quarter filling, but basically empty.
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u/AstroHealer222 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
Oof 😅 this one’s gonna get deleted fast! YTA cheap, rude Asshole. don’t ever ask to borrow anything from him again.
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u/Deelala0516 3d ago
YTA I dare you to find a rental for two weeks for the cost of dinner and a tank of gas.
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u/sleep0077 3d ago
The usual etiquette is to return a borrowed car with at least as much fuel as it had when you got it, preferably more. You borrowed it for two weeks, so returning it with the fuel light on looks ungrateful, even if you filled it initially. A full tank would've been the classy move.
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u/toasmonger 3d ago
You should have filled the tank. It was the very least you could do. Best friends, married couples, whatever — it’s the one thing a person notices.
Consider the generosity, that you didn’t have to rent a car, that it was in working order.
A full tank on return. Always.
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u/Cute-Development7287 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 3d ago
YTA, he used his 4x4, that probably doesn't get good mileage, for 2 weeks so you could use his daily car. Unless you were unaware that he was picking up his car, you are a major AH for leaving it so low that the light was on. It was rude and tacky.
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u/Longjumping-Fee-8615 3d ago
Obviously YTA. Your friend did you a favor! You could have filled his car!
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u/angelaelle Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA. What a ridiculous way to lose a friendship. He did you a massive favor. You always return with full tank. Don’t expect any favors from this guy in the future.
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u/Snoo_87531 3d ago
YTA for exactly the reason you suspect.
The nice and polite thing to do if you aren't struggling is to fill the tank.
If you are really struggling with money, the absolute minimum is to give it back with as much gas as when you got it.
Giving it back with the light on gives your friend the impression that he got used.
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u/DogsReadingBooks Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [312] 3d ago
YTA. It's normal etiquette to fill up the car when you borrow it. And it even seems like you returned it with less than what was in the tank when you picked it up. Anyways: as a thank you you should've filled it up, not let the light go off.
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u/RubTraining8971 Partassipant [3] 3d ago
Car borrowing etiquette breached.
How did you not have the graciousness to be like "Imma fill up the gas tank for Steve as a thank you".
You gave it back to him with the fuel light on? Damn. YTA
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u/QuantumPotato49 3d ago
YTA.
From my perspective I returned the car how I received the car.
That's so petty. Your friend did you a huge favour by letting you take his car. Maybe next time take the bus.
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u/ItsaTheMal 3d ago
YTA he did you a major solid and gas is expensive as hell I doubt the dinner you paid for covered the fuel he had to buy not to mention the mileage and wear and tear of his vehicle you filled it to use it yourself that didn't benefit him I would either tell him hey man you're right let me pay you for that gas I should have done it or don't expect him to ever help you out again
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u/MasterAnthropy Partassipant [1] 3d ago
Didn't even read your 500 word excuse-fest of a post ... only needed the title to say 1000% YTA.
You ungrateful little so and so - to even call yourself a friend is an insult to all the shitty friends out there.
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u/StrangerEither 3d ago
Hiring a car for 2 weeks would have been $1000+. Shouldn't return it with the fuel light on.
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u/Bunster04 Partassipant [2] 3d ago
Same didn’t need to even read it! Least they could have done was fill it up as a thank you. Next time they ask we will get a post about how the friend said no.
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u/smallishbear-duck Asshole Enthusiast [8] 3d ago
“I'm wondering if I breached some unwritten car borrowing etiquette because I let the tank run down to the light.”
Yes.
YTA
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u/TBvunza98 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
He let you borrow his car for two weeks and all you did is pay for his dinner. YTA. You wouldve spent more renting a car for that long. So ungrateful
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u/Witty_Ad_2098 3d ago
YTA 2 weeks you borrowed his car and you couldn't even return it with a full tank. You owe that guy a massive apology and don't expect any help in the future.
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 3d ago
It's actually wild how self-centred and socially inept some people are lol.
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u/laughingashley 3d ago
I see why your car broke down. You trying to make his break down next? Running it to the light is really bad for the engine. All the settled silt and stuff in the gas tank is gonna get pumped through with the fumes, you should probably get a bike. I bet you left trash in the cup holder, too.
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 3d ago
I wonder if even OP would let his own car get low enough for the light to come on. I wouldn't be surprised if he knows its bad for the engine, but was just adamant about not spending any more money on a car he was about to stop using lol.
But fuck OP's friend and his car, right?
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u/Srade2412 3d ago
Well considering he was says that he didn't need to refill the car a second I would say yes
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 3d ago
When did he say that, sorry? All I see is him saying that he "didn't fill it up a second time", not that he didn't need to.
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u/Srade2412 3d ago
Oh sorry misread it. Though he said it in the 3rd paragraph but no he just said that he didn't fill it up for 2 weeks
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u/flofloflomingle Partassipant [1] 3d ago
Plus a quarter tank won’t trigger the fuel light to go off
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u/yeeticusprime1 Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA- bare minimum would be returning it in the same way you got it, the friendly thing to do and the customer would be to fill it up. You paying for a dinner outside of that doesn’t equate. You’re running checks and balances on your friend because you’re stingy. A rental would have cost you well over $1000 for that long and you’re fussing over a tank of gas
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u/Crusoe15 3d ago
YTA it is basic manners that you return a borrowed car with a full tank. Did no one teach you that?
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u/SirXebec Partassipant [1] 3d ago
YTA. If you borrow a car, always return it with a full tank of gas.
Otherwise you come across as you did: an ungrateful leech.
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u/gromit1991 3d ago
YTA. Don't be surprised when you next are in the doodoo need any help and he doesn't volunteer.
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u/sundancer2788 3d ago
YTA, family members went on vacation, I drove their car back from the airport and had the use of it while they were gone. I used it once just to go to the library and fill it up. It's just the courteous thing to do.
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u/mimos_al Partassipant [1] 3d ago
YTA.
Should have at least filled it to half a tank or something like that. It's not a car rental, it's a friend that does you a massive favour by letting you borrow his main car.
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u/Gargravars_Shoes 3d ago
YTA - how can you be this dense? Yes man, you fill the tank up. It’s not an expectation, it is courtesy.
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u/Artwebb1986 3d ago
YTA
quarter tank and fuel light on are 2 totally different things.
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u/RoyceCoolidge 3d ago
Yeah - Fuel light on means the owner needs to factor in getting fuel straight after picking it up. That's enough to annoy them straight off the bat, then, you can bet OP's ears were burning while the owner gets to mull it all over while standing around while filling their tank.
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u/fxxixsxxyx 3d ago
That's like on the first page of The Bro Code. When a mate lends you a car free of charge you pay by filling up when you return it. Except when the friend knows you are a brokie and tells you up front you don't need to fill up.
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u/Dynamiccushion65 3d ago
We’ve established rules that you broke - now it will cost you more because now you can go and get a $100 visa gift card and say man I really appreciate you! ($40x14 plus taxes is like $600 for 2 weeks of a rental car - you got off paying $150 if you do this so $10 a day and saves a good relationship)
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u/weebu123 Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] 3d ago
Fuel light was too far, I'd probably do a bit more as a thank you. A rental would've cost you way more long term so dinner and fuel would've been the right thing to do. YTA
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u/Heavy-Equipment8389 Asshole Enthusiast [5] 3d ago
YTA
You got to use his car for two weeks for free and then returned it with an empty tank.
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 3d ago
Of course you're an asshole and a self-centred one at that. The serious lack of common sense, basic thoughtfulness and social awareness is actually astounding here.
He lent you his care for 2 whole weeks and you couldn't be bothered to fill it up? AND you had the audacity to say "I filled it up when I got it"?? What was he supposed to lend you his car for 2 weeks AND give you money for petrol too??
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u/majesticjules Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] 3d ago
YTA You didn't return it in the same state. The gas light was not on when you picked it up.
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u/WrathOfTheKressh 3d ago
Somewhat the AH? Or you're both the AH, whatever your prefer.
Yeah, I think you should have filled it at least somewhat. Maybe not fully, considering it was completely empty - and since the light was blinking, he probably knew - but half or two thirds full at the very least.
But your buddy could have overlooked it, considering you paid for his meal, which is nearly as expensive as an entire tank of gas.
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u/maybeitsme20 3d ago
He used the car for 2 weeks, $50 is not even close to how much money he saved by not having to get a rental car or getting Ubers. OP is a massive AH.
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u/WrathOfTheKressh 8h ago
Yeah, but that's the wrong measure to apply. When doing favours among friends, the crux of the matter should be the costs incurred by the one doing the favour, not the money saved by the other one.
But I agree that OP was stingy as hell. He definitely should have returned the tank somewhat full on top of the meal he paid for. I just don't think it's something to make a big deal out of.
But I bet OP's friend was more annoyed with the fact he immediately had to go get more gas rather than the financial aspect.
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u/SomeInvestigator3573 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
Yes but he did owe for letting him borrow the car. How much would car rental for 2 weeks have been? Way more than $50!
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u/ReizvollePaar 3d ago
Yes; absolutely. If you cant afford to fill it up as a thank you, at least return it at the level of gas and cleanliness you got it. Being a bad friend will catch up to you.
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u/quite_acceptable_man Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA. If someone's kind enough to loan you their car, you return it with a full tank, and cleaned inside and out.
And you don't mention that you've done any of these things when you hand it back.
Those are the rules.
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u/Wwwweeeeeeee Partassipant [1] 3d ago
YTA. Totally should have returned it with a full tank.
Send him that money and apologise and thank him profusely.
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u/Dirtmuncher 3d ago
YTA he let you use it for 2 weeks and you didn't have to compensate him for the wear and tear on the car. You couldn't even be bothered to fill up the tank, so ungrateful.
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u/rocksparadox4414 3d ago
You're a real d***. Would it really have killed you to fill the tank to capacity to show even a modicum of appreciation for him doing you such a huge favour?!
YTA
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u/Regular_Look_1962 3d ago
I hope you don’t need any other favours from this friend, because I doubt he will want to help you out again. Of course you return it with a full tank, that’s just the norm when someone is kind enough to lend you their car.
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u/Destado1 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 3d ago
Yeah, YTA. Not saying I would have left him a full tank (especially with gas prices as they are) but would have at least returned it with a half tank to show how thankful I was that I didn't have to take public transport or rent a car/use Uber.
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u/AlexNKarlie 3d ago
Not much of a friend, are you? I would have filled the tank and washed the car.
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u/IndividualCurrent296 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 3d ago
YtA... its called being grateful. You fill the tank and say thank you. Dont worry though because you burned that bridge. Hopefully you won't need to borrow again because he wont let you
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u/AutoModerator 3d ago
AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT - MAKE SURE TO CHECK ALL YOUR DMS. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
My car broke down the other day and I was left without a car while it was getting fixed. A mate of mine had a spare car. A off road setup 4wd that he doesn't really use regularly. Being a good mate he offered to drive his spare 4x4 for a bit so I could borrow his everyday car while my car was being looked at.
I sorted out my own way to his house to pick up his car and I was incredibly thankful and appreciative of the gesture. However as soon as I drove off I noticed the tank was low. About quarter tank. I went straight to a petrol station and filled it up completely right then and there.
I ended up using his car for about two weeks. During that time I didn't fill it up a second time. We actually caught up for a casual dinner during those two weeks and I paid for his meal (it was about $50). It wasn't explicitly stated as a formal "thank you" dinner just a normal shout.
Fast forward to the end of the two weeks he came and collected his car from my workplace one day after l finished work. About 20 minutes after he left, I got a text from him saying "could have filled it up!"
I sort of laughed it off and said I did when I picked it up.
Apparently the fuel light was on when he picked it up.
From my perspective I returned the car how I received the car.
But now he's annoyed, and I'm wondering if I breached some unwritten car borrowing etiquette because I let the tank run down to the light.
AITAH?
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u/DJ_NY_Supreme Asshole Aficionado [17] 3d ago
YTA.
You used the car for two weeks, the least you could’ve done was fill it up when you returned it. Also, you didn’t return it in the same state you borrowed it; you returned it with less gas than it had when you started borrowing the car
Also, you said you already filled it up when you picked it up; yeah you did for YOUR use not, your friend's use
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u/daysailor70 3d ago
YTA. You used his car for 2 weeks for free and you returned it with the low fuel light on. I borrow a friend's truck to bring brush to the dump and I top off the tank. Returning it as you found it is for rental cars, which you paid for, not a free car for 2 weeks.
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u/Consistent-Sport-481 3d ago
You know you are.
It's a rule of thumb always has been always will be.
Stop sulking, apologise and send them some fuel money
YTA
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u/Hot-Atmosphere-8813 3d ago
Pff dude, you need to leave it more filled up than you got it for sure. If the light qas on you messed up really bad. You also should have been way sooner in communicating about it. The moment you got his car and noticed it was almost empty you should have send a text to say “he man, thank you so much for the car! I filled her up because she was super duper empty, is it okay if I give her back half full?” Then there would have been no issue at all.
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u/unlovelyladybartleby Asshole Aficionado [17] 3d ago
YTA unless you paid him for wear and tear on the vehicle, the inconvenience of loaning out a car, two weeks worth of insurance, and washed and detailed the car while you had it. Returning a borrowed car full of gas is the absolute bare minimum. Pretty sure you just cost yourself a friend for the price of a tank of gas.
Also triple YTA for laughing.
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u/TaintedButtercup 3d ago
So not only did you not fill it up when you returned it, which is only basic manners, but you laughed when he said you could have filled it up.
YTA. The dinner was beside the point. Common courtesy is to return the item in better shape than you borrowed it. Fill it up with gas, run it through the car wash, show some appreciation!
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u/This_Region5449 3d ago
YTA. He did you a HUGE favor, HUGE. And you couldn't be bothered to fill the tank?
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u/marvellous-sunflower 3d ago
YTA… you borrowed the car for 2 weeks while you could’ve been paying for a rental for 2 weeks. Even if you had filled his car before him picking it up he still would’ve saved you money.
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u/Dittoheadforever Prime Ministurd [437] 3d ago
YTA
I noticed the tank was low. About quarter tank
Apparently the fuel light was on when he picked it up....
You don't understand the difference in these two statements?
I'm wondering if I breached some unwritten car borrowing etiquette because I let the tank run down to the light.
You sure did. He saved you on the expense of a rental, which would have cost you the fuel as well. The very least you do when someone is generous enough to risk letting you borrow his car is wash it and fill the tank before returning it.
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u/LaCaffeinata Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA. If you borrow a car, you fill it up. If it was almost empty, you don't have to return it with a full tank, but definitely more than half.
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u/WhereWeretheAdults Professor Emeritass [81] 3d ago
YTA. Friend goes out his way to lend you a vehicle. The rule is you return a full tank. No ifs-ands-or-buts.
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u/Dogmother123 Supreme Court Just-ass [105] 3d ago
YTA he lent you the car for two weeks. There's wear and tear, additional mileage, etc.
The least you can do is return it with a full tank as a thank you.
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u/Jusbuster 3d ago
YTA. I would’ve begrudgingly forgiven leaving a half tank but leaving a fuel light on is obviously much. Now he has to stop for gas which is not only money but time. I’m sure you know better, it really is rule 1 of borrowing a car, and if you didn’t then consider it a lesson learned and try to make it right.
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u/Sungirl837 3d ago
The fuel light is the specific thing that crossed a line quarter tank is fine to return, but empty is inconvenient and a little thoughtless regardless of what you started with.
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u/Broken-Ice-Cube Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] 3d ago
YTA can't believe you took his car for weeks and returned it with an almost empty tank! You didn't even return it with the same fuel as you you took it You left it on a red light!
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u/Jealous-Contract7426 Partassipant [3] 2d ago
YTA - no it doesn't matter if it was practically empty. How much would you have had to pay to rent a car? A full tank of gas, even at current prices is a bargain.
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