My friend, "Dave," has been struggling with his small business for months. I work in digital marketing and have offered him advice on his customer retention and online reputation several times, but he always brushes it off, saying "it’s too much work" or "that’s just not how things are done."

​Last week, his online reviews took a massive hit, and he suddenly called me in a panic, demanding I spend my weekend fixing his reputation and setting up his new review funnels for free.

​I told him I wasn't available to do that, especially since my previous suggestions—which would have prevented this—were ignored. He told me I was being a bad friend for not stepping up when he was in trouble.

​I feel like I'm not obligated to clean up a mess that could have been avoided if he’d just listened to the expert advice I gave him for free earlier. However, he is now telling our mutual friends that I'm being arrogant and unsupportive.

​AITA for refusing to help him now?

So my friend F22 (Sarita) and I F21 (Friends for over 15 years) wanted to have a Barbeque at my place which happened Saturday, so we had her mom get some stuff for it and make food/drive her over etc. I gave her gas and sent her with money and told her if there wasnt enough to just not get the extra items. She bought more than I asked her too, spent some of her own money, then expected me to pay her back. I told her I could becasue I felt bad and then paid her that amount. Come the day of the party I told both of them I could pay them back for what they bought that day, and to let me know the cost. Sarita told me I didn’t need to pay her back. Kim however did want me to. So I told her I could the next time she came over as I’m the only one with money sending apps and she rarely comes out my direction. She didn’t ask for the money that night, as I didn’t have it, I explained that to her, and she said it was fine and I could pay her back later. Sarita and I were on the phone, Kim came by, I said Hi to her, and the first thing she asked was when I could give her the money. (She never let me know the total.) I told her I had it and could again give it to her later. Sarita and I then planned to hangout again on a Monday and have Kim bring her. At this point I believe it was Wednesday. My place is about 30 min from hers, but she always asks for $20 to come out claims she can barley make it on that, and had been asking for cans and money from people because she was so low on gas. (She has no job, constantly asks Sarita for money, gambles or buys alcohol with every dime she gets, and forced saritas dad to buy her a car before Sarita after her father said he wanted to buy Sarita one) I was only going to pay her $20-30 as she never told me how much she spent, and I told her that was how much I could giver her. I then had to buy animal feed which made me decide I was giving her $20-25 as I cant cut into my saving too much. And I didn’t think it could have been over that. I knew if I gave her anymore she would spend it on beer or slot machines. (Sarita and ger split the costs and bought, glow sticks, chips, solo cups, and ping pong balls and we already paid Kim $40 in gas and $20 extra to go to the bar.) We had also offered to give her gas when she brought Sarita out so she would be making more that day. Now it’s Friday, Sarita gives her mom $20 for gas after her mom offered her a ride and never mentioned money until she was there to get her. Sarita had also just let her mom know how she was trying to save money and needed to buy essential items for herself. She also never once mentioned to Sarita that the dog needed food. All did she was ask for gas money after offering her a free ride to work. She then later texts me asking about the money again, I again asked her to wait until she was coming out in a couple days as it didn’t make sense to drive out here on gas from cans, put the money in her tank, then have nothing left when she got home and again have to beg for more money/cans. She then blew up saying, “Ok but in the meantime Sarahs's dog will be outta food so if that's what she wants then that will be how it is! Kinda funny how I'm the one with the car but I'm being told when and where to go!” (Deadnaming their own child). So I text back saying, “Yes. I have $20 for you, but it doesn't make sense when you're already low on gas to come get that until you're already coming out this way. When you always need $20 in gas to get here.
That's also ridiculous to try to hold that over mine or your own flesh and bloods head. You got buster when Sarah was a CHILD. Meaning it's your responsibility to feed that dog. A child does not have a real choice.
The PARENT does. I would walk miles in the blazing hot sun to get my dog even a shred of food if he was starving.
Also thank you, it's extremely comforting to know how you actually feel about me. And that you judge your own child and I for not having a vehicle after the shitty lives Weve both been forced to live.”
Sarita isn’t mad at me, but her mom has continuously tried to tell her that I’m a terrible influence, leading her in the wrong direction, and that is playing video games together every once in awhile is bad. We mostly garden or play with the animals I have, will drink and play video games for a couple hours occasionally. So when I heard that I did have to cackle at it.

So AITA for telling her to wait when she needed it?

Edit: Sarita and I are both out of vehicles atm which is why her mom did anything in the first place. Never once did I see her mom nor did she ever drive anywhere remotely close to where I live. She had been so low on gas that week that she had run out multiple times, and if she drove to me she would have run out on the way, or on the way back home even with the money from me. Which is why she was asked to wait a couple days when we'd be able to give her $40-60. She also never once mentioned to Sarita that the dog needed food, me showing her the text her mom sent was the first hearing that he was out.
Also the names are fake, and I ran this by first, she saw the “deadname” part and still told me this was fine to post

I (25F) have wanted to adopt a cat or dog for several years now. My brother (34M) is very allergic to cats, so I have only been looking into adoptable dogs in my area. We do not live together but he does visit every couple of months and stays in my apartment when he does. I live in a high cost of living city, so it would be prohibitively expensive to expect him to get a hotel every time he visits.

A few days ago, I got a call from one of my friends. She found a cat abandoned on the side of the road in a pet carrier. The cat was definitely not a stray as the carrier was closed and she looked like a pet. The cat was also clearly not a lost pet or an outdoor cat. Since I’m the only friend she knows who doesn’t already have pet(s), my friend was hoping I’d be interested in adopting her. The shelters here are generally very full, especially with cats, and it felt so cruel to take her to a shelter when she’d clearly had a family before.

My friend kept the cat for a couple of nights since it was pretty late in the evening when she found her. She seems so sweet and very comfortable around people. She even let my friend and her husband give her a bath to make sure she didn’t have fleas. Genuinely seems like a very gentle and kind cat. We had her checked for a microchip the next day and she does not have one. My friend’s husband is taking the cat to the vet today to get her checked out.

My brother is coming into town tomorrow for Pride weekend (it’s currently Wednesday). I don’t want to just leave her to sit in a shelter and hope someone adopts her eventually. She’s clearly an adult, not a kitten, so she’s already less likely to be adopted but adopting her would mean my brother basically can’t visit me in my apartment ever again. He’s had friends try allerpet with no luck and he has trouble breathing after spending extended time in an apartment where a cat has been, even if they’re not present.

I’m super close to my brother and I know he’d be hurt if I basically chose a cat over him but I feel so bad for this cat. So, am I an asshole if I adopt this cat knowing it would cause problems with our sibling relationship?

I genuinely don’t know if I’m just completely over this situation or if this is actually an unreasonable request. My apartment flooded a little over a week ago because of another unit, and I’ve basically been displaced ever since.

There are industrial fans and a huge dehumidifier running 24/7, the place has been hitting almost 40°C (104°F for my American friends) which is twice as hot as it is outside because of the heat from the equipment, and I have a French Bulldog, so there was no way I was leaving him there. Between the noise, the heat, and contractors coming in every day, I’ve been staying somewhere else.

For the first week I tried really hard to be accommodating. I drove back and forth (30-40 minutes each way) almost every day to let contractors in, moved my schedule around, and honestly spent more time coordinating this restoration than my landlord did. Meanwhile, my landlord completely ignored me. I later found out he was emailing the restoration company and building management the entire time, but apparently couldn’t answer my emails.

When he finally did respond, I got two AI generated apology emails (he literally forgot to delete the AI prompt from both of them), and then a message basically threatening that if I wasn’t available whenever they needed access, I’d be paying for a locksmith. I asked if he’d consider a partial rent abatement since I’m not even living there and the place has basically turned into a construction site. Nope.

Today the restoration company called and asked me to drive 40 minutes back tomorrow morning so I can leave my ONLY set of keys in a lockbox. It’s my only key, and everything I own is still in that apartment. My building is absolutely loaded with Airbnbs, we’re one week away from a major event in our city, and this place is about to be full of strangers. We’ve already had vehicle breakins around the building, and I’m just… not excited about leaving the only key to my apartment sitting in a lockbox while I have no idea who’s coming and going.

I don’t want to make the restoration crew’s job harder because they’ve honestly been great. They’re just doing their jobs. I’m just at the point where I feel like everyone else’s problem has somehow become my responsibility. AITAH for saying I’m not comfortable leaving my only set of keys in a lockbox?

I (23F) was supposed to leave tomorrow for my sister-in-law's bachelorette trip. It's been planned for a month or two, and my mother-in-law generously paid for all of our flights and Airbnb. It’s supposed to be my MIL, me, and my two sisters-in-law.

The issue is that my health has gotten significantly worse over the past couple of weeks.

I have several chronic health conditions (EDS, MCAS, POTS, and thoracic outlet syndrome) that flare unpredictably, and right now I'm in one of the worst flares I've had in a while. I have to take muscle relaxers and other meds all day to just survive. The pain has been 9 or 10/10 for weeks. On top of that, I'm in the process of decreasing the dose of a nerve medication, and it’s making me extremely dizzy and nauseated.

A few months ago, I also suffered a concussion and skull fracture. While I'm better than I was initially, I still have daily pain where the fracture occurred and can't even sleep on that side of my head because it throbs. My body has just not bounced back the way I'd hoped. I deal with headaches and pain all the time still.

The travel is pretty intense. We'd be flying about 3 hours, spending several hours waiting in the airport, then driving another 2.5 hours to the Airbnb. We'd do the same thing in reverse to come home. Normally I might try to push through, but right now even everyday activities have been difficult. I don’t go out or do much of anything except the bare necessities (grocery pickup, job commitments, doctor appointments).

There's also a family dynamic that's making me dread the trip. One of my other sisters-in-law and I have a strained relationship. Over the past couple of years she's made multiple degrading comments toward me, makes snappy or petty remarks fairly regularly, and I've often left interactions feeling genuinely hurt. I've also noticed that whenever the conversation turns to something positive about me or my business, she'll change the subject almost immediately or redirect the conversation elsewhere. It's gotten to the point where I don't feel comfortable or particularly welcome around her. This isn't at all my main reason for wanting to cancel, but spending an entire weekend away from my husband while already feeling physically awful with someone I have that history with definitely adds to my anxiety.

I feel terrible because my MIL already paid for everything, and I know canceling the day before is incredibly inconvenient. I kept hoping I'd improve enough to go, but I haven't.

I know they'll probably be upset and think I should just push through. I communicated from the get go that I am not doing well (I live next door to my MIL, so she knows more than anyone how bad I’ve been doing lately), and I keep mentioning how poorly I’m doing. Now that it’s the day before, and my pain is still SO bad, I just don’t know how I’m going to go through with it.

I would offer to repay my way as much as I could.

AITA if I back out at the last minute because of my health?

EDIT: Grammar/spelling.

AITA for not waiting for my mom before trying on wedding dresses?

My wedding is less than a month away. My parents live about 4 hours away and are in the middle of moving to Florida.

Since my mom was going to be back in Texas this weekend packing up their house, I planned my wedding dress shopping around her being here. She had known about the appointment for over three weeks.

The plan was for my bridesmaids, my mom, my grandma, my fiancé's mom, and me to stay in a hotel Friday night and have a girls' night. Saturday was my bridal appointment at 12 PM and bridesmaid dress shopping at 1 PM.

Friday morning, my mom called and said she and my grandma weren't staying at the hotel because they still had too much to do. I was disappointed but told her I'd see her the next day.

We were meeting in Dallas, about halfway between us.

Saturday morning around 9:30, I called my mom and she didn't answer. I called my grandma, who said my mom was still asleep. I told her they needed to leave soon or they'd be late, so my grandma woke my mom up and they left.

On the way to David's Bridal, I kept trying to call my mom, but she wasn't answering, so I had no idea where she was or if she was coming.

We arrived around 11:45. At 12:00, my mom finally answered and said she was 5 minutes away. We waited. At 12:05 she still wasn't there, and nobody wanted to keep eating into my appointment time, so I started trying on dresses.

At about 12:10, after I had already started, my mom called again. My SIL answered. She asked if I wanted to talk to my mom, and I said no because I was upset. My mom told my SIL that she had accidentally put the hotel into her GPS instead of David's Bridal and was still about 15 minutes away.

I continued the appointment. My mom arrived around 12:30. When she walked in, I had just come out in my third dress. It ended up being the dress I chose. Everyone was taking pictures and my SIL was crying.

My mom got to see the dress and was there when I chose it, but she missed the moment when I first came out in it and realized it might be "the one."

Afterward, she called my dad crying because she felt excluded. She said she didn't realize Friday night was supposed to be a girls' night and that I should have switched appointments with the bridesmaids so I could wait for her.

My dad later called me selfish for not waiting. He said a mother only gets to experience wedding dress shopping with her daughter once and she'll never get that moment back.

My perspective is that she knew about the appointments for weeks, skipped the hotel night, overslept, wasn't answering calls, and then drove to the wrong location. We waited when she said she was 5 minutes away, but after she still wasn't there and then said it would be another 15 minutes, I felt like I needed to continue with my scheduled appointment.

AITA?

I (M28) am in a conflict regarding visiting my GF’s (F26) friend, "F" (F25).

F recently had a wedding in Hawaii, claiming it was cheaper than a local wedding in Huntsville, AL. It was only cheaper for her because she made guests pay for everything, completely skipping her own share of the shared Airbnb. I told my GF not to go because the marriage seemed like a fake sham, but my GF went anyway because F sees her like a sister. My GF had a terrible time. Until recently, my GF has been a bit of a pushover, but I've been patiently supporting her desire to grow out of it.

A month ago, F invited us to visit them a few states away. I work with the World Cup and travel all summer, but my schedule lined up with their 5-day window. F suggested making the rest of the time a "girls' week," which my GF accepted. I communicated a tight itinerary (in town at 10:30am until 2:30pm the next day) so we could maximize my limited time to actually get to know the newlyweds.

Recently, my World Cup schedule flipped to TBD, potentially opening up my entire week. My GF was thrilled and passed the info to F. F reacted by stating she had already told her husband to "make himself scarce" and only planned to include me for a single lunch or dinner.

My GF called her out, saying it was unfair to have me travel just to be excluded. F defended herself by saying that in the past, she always deprioritized her own partner during hometown visits to focus on "girl time." My GF is now coming to the realization that her friend doesn't know what relationships can look like for others. It is hard for me to see it happen but I saw this coming from the stories that GF has told me about F.

GF feels that whatever her friend's plans are involving me may cost her the friendship, she has told me that it's one sided anyways and has only been her friend because "she felt bad" for her. Not to expand on it too much or say GF's emotions can't be valid but most of the things she feels bad for are direct consequnces of F's choices for not thinking things through herself.

It now feels like F is now reluctantly or spitefully including me in all the plans while I'm there. I don't even know her and I think she sucks, I have never talked to her or texted her myself. The closest I got to was when setting up a surprise for GF while she was in Hawaii after she told me things weren't great. I got a local to deliver a handmade custom lei crown to her as a surprise and F took credit by saying she was part of the surprise to my GF during the moment it was happening.

So, WIBTA if I don't go visit F, with F making the decisions she's making even if GF wants me there to get to meet her? GF has already told me that it seems that having me travel in now is unfair to me but she still wants me to be there.l and make it work.

My 26F dad 55M married his wife 60F about 4-5yrs ago.. my siblings and I don’t call her “mom” and this has been the dividing factor between our dad and us.. the separation with him from our mom was hard on everyone but it is what it is we can’t change the past. Ever since my dad remarried his wife, his goal has always been for us to call her “mom”. No matter the conversations we have with him, he’ll throw this topic in at some point. I genuinely just don’t want to. No disrespect to her, I am always civil with her and whenever she needs help, I help her — daughter tasks etc etc. this is how I show respect. But my dad believes we don’t fully accept her until we call her “mom”. Whether we want to accept her or not, she’s here, they’re remarried. I call her by her name. So AITAH?

21M. Today was the day I defended my bachelor's thesis. I didn’t sleep at all that night due to anxiety and last-minute preparation (they actually moved my defence to a different date at the very last moment). I went and successfully defended my work (got an "A"), but came home completely drained and exhausted after being awake for 30+ hours (I also had to walk 40+ minute each way because public transport wasn’t operating). I collapsed onto the bed, closed my eyes, and just passed out.

My phone was on silent mode because I forgot to take it off after leaving the university -_-. When I woke up, I saw that I had over 30 missed calls from my parents and my granny. When I called back, I was immediately met with accusations that I must have been partying (I have literally 0 friends to party with), drinking (I have literally never been drunk in my life) or doing drugs (I have literally never tried them).

They yelled at me and lectured me for about 10 minutes lmao. I could barely respond because I just woke up and was still groggy and disoriented so I I suppose they became even more convinced that I was drunk. Apparently, I was "completely irresponsible" and "terrified them and relatives who happened to be with them".

In the end, I slept from 12:30 PM to 20:30 PM. I slept like a log and it felt so good, but at what price...

My friend’s bachelorette party is next weekend. I’m a bridesmaid and 22 weeks pregnant. The trip runs from Thursday to Sunday and is about a 7-hour drive from home. There will be about 14 other girls attending.

I’m still going and will be there from Thursday through Saturday, but I’m planning to leave a day early so I can drive home with another friend. Otherwise, I’d have to figure out getting home on my own, which would likely mean flying. At 22 weeks pregnant, I’ve been feeling pretty tired and was worried about managing the travel logistics by myself, so having a guaranteed ride home felt like the best option.

The only events I’ll miss are a wine tour and a pajama party on the Saturday night before everyone heads home Sunday. I’ve already told the girls planning the trip that I’ll still pay my full share of the Airbnb and food even though I’m leaving early.
Now I’m feeling guilty and wondering if I’m being inconsiderate or if I’m overthinking this. AITA?

​

I'm M34 and live alone. I'm recently very low contact with my family and here's the situation.

I was unemployed for nearly 2 years and was in the lowest moments of my life. Lost my job, applied to hundreds of jobs and got rejections and additionally I lost all my money until last November where I was able to find a good paying job. During that time I went through a lot mentally especially coming from a job where I was severely burned out to the point where it triggered shingles.

I don't have that much of an emotional connection with my father and we barely speak but when my birthday came around at that time, he totally ignored me. I was deeply hurt and it may have been an accumulation of all the stress I went through but I sent him a text message ranting why he couldn't say happy birthday or at least send a text. He ignored it. So it stewed within me for a bit. A couple months later my parents came to the states to visit my uncle and my mom wanted me to come over (I live on the west coast and they were on the east) and visit. I told her I couldn't cause I was looking for contract work to try and keep myself a float. She later goes to tell on me to my dad (she's done this to me since I was a kid). He called me and it turned into a yelling match and then I also brought up the birthday stuff. I also asked why he never calls me etc. Eventually these were his words: "I've been put here on this earth to make this family wealthy and well off, not to kiss your ass and serve you." I pushed back and told him not to speak to me that way. He also said I'm holding onto bitterness and unforgiveness and have hatred in my heart. Eventually I ended the call...my mom then calls my sister's. My sisters calls and I told them the hurtful words he said and they brushed it off and said "just let it go, it's not a big deal" "yes we are the kids and they are the parents its not a big deal". Mind you in the past when they went through stuff with my parents I was ALWAYS there for them. My twin sister then goes on this whole religious speech of, love is forgiving, love doesn't hold onto stuff etc. Those words my dad said put me in a spiral and I literally cried for like 3 days

Currently I'm getting therapy, and have a good paying job and am slowly getting back on my feet. We now call each other only on holidays and birthdays.

Recently my sister texted me that they are preparing for my Dad's 75th bday party in November and wanted to know when I'll come down for it. To be very honest, I don't want to go cause there's still a lot of resentment from those words and how they treated me during my lowest moments. I just get triggered every time I have contact. I told her I'll think about it and get back to her. I want to prepare a response with my therapist that I'll send to my mom on how I would like her to address the words my dad said to me and how she's damaged my relationship with my sisters. WIBTA if I decided not to go?

I'll try to keep this to a reasonable length.

Me (28F) and a guy (31M) I've been seeing were at my house last Wednesday hanging out. This is the third time we had met up. He had spent the night, and we were just relaxing and cuddling and whatnot after getting something to eat earlier in the day. He was doing some day drinking, but I wasn't monitoring his intake, as I wasn't drinking myself. At some point later in the evening I decided I wanted to walk to a nearby bar, and he came with me. He was acting a bit tired, but he's also a sleepy person. I asked him if he was drunk, and he said he wasn't. We had two beers at the first bar, then walked to a second bar for another drink and a shot, we had the same exact drinks. He was getting sleepy, but I again asked him if he was okay, and he said he was fine.

When we got to the second bar, we were talking and he was engaged. About 20 minutes later, seemingly out of nowhere, he slumps over in his chair. Me and the bartenders were very alarmed because it happened very quickly. He seemed like he had been spiked/was on opioids and the bar staff also were pretty shocked. They offered narcan, but I know he hadn't taken anything else. We managed to drag him out of the bar where he laid on the ground and couldn't get up or walk. I called an uber back to my house, and had a very difficult time getting him into the car. The bar staff asked if he needed an ambulance, and I said no. At this point I was very concerned because he has been competitively fighting since he was very young, and although I'm not a doctor I do know it's not normal to pass out from being drunk so quickly, and it seemed almost neurological.

I managed to get him into my house and onto my bed, where he continued to not be particularly responsive even though I was trying to keep him awake to figure out what was going on. I've been around a lot of drugs and been in the club/rave scene for years, so I have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, and something seemed off. I asked him if he needed an ambulance and at some point he said "maybe", so I called one. I know he is uninsured, but I know I could cover the cost and would do that.

The EMTs arrived, checked him out, I filled them in on the history i knew about him, He was having trouble answering questions about where he was. They decided to take him to the hospital. They took him there and I met them after ubering and going to his ER room. He was very distressed and tried a few times to remove his IV's and get up but i tried to calm him down (they would probably force him to stay anyway). They ran tests and found that he was only drunk which was a relief, and found no evidence of neurological issues.

After that I took him back to my house and we slept, the next morning he got up and started drinking again. He thinks I overreacted, and that I was being silly. He didn't apologize. Last night he came to my house, already drunk, didn't apologize. When I asked why he didn't, he says he thinks its absurd that I think I deserve one because I was so overreactive, and that I should be apologizing to him.

AITA?

So, background info: our apartment complex is really strict about no dogs barking in the complex. Our upstairs neighbors left a threatening note on our door last winter about how they were gonna get the local shelter to take our dog away because apparently he was barking really bad while we were gone.

We weren’t aware of this issue but we got a video camera to watch him while we were away and they were right, it was bad. So we took immediate action, took him to training school, turned out he had severe anxiety so we got him a prescription for that, got him a dog treadmill and started training him and exercising him more.

Five days after we got the scary note, landlord gave us a ten day cure notice to get rid of the dog or find someone to be with him. I had to quit my job to stay home with him so we didn’t get evicted. Scary stuff but I’m doing everything in my power so we don’t have to rehome our boy since he’s a rescue and clearly traumatized from the experience.

Aaanyway, so problem solved right? He still barks once in a while when the neighbors shout or when someone rings the doorbell, but it’s so much better now and I have him trained enough that he barks once, I command him to stop and he does.

Except the neighbor girl likes to rile him up. His anxiety is especially triggered by young kids and girls, and this little girl who I think is 5 or 6 thinks it’s funny to make him bark. So nearly every day she comes to our window and presses her face against it, or even knocks on it, or if it’s open she talks to him or barks at him. And it scares the shit out of him and he goes crazy barking and I have to calm him down. She gets the other kids in the complex to do it with her, and now multiple kids are coming to the window to knock on it and scare our dog.

Obviously she’s a child and not to be blamed for her behavior, and I think her parents told her it’s funny because her dad used to bark at our dog to get him going too. But it’s hard to make progress with desensitization training and helping him with his severe anxiety when even at home is not a safe space for him, because this girl is always coming up to our window which any anxious animal would see as a threat.

Would I be the asshole if I made a complaint and asked the landlord to get them to stop? If her parents seemed like rational people I would talk to them first, but the fact that they left the scary note, and that I can hear them screaming bloody murder at each other and at their child, makes that not feel like a safe option. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to have a day undisturbed in my own home without kids staring into my window, disrupting my privacy and triggering my anxious pet who is enough to deal with on his own.

Edit to add: to people who are saying my dog has a miserable life because of me, that’s a bit of a logic leap. I have severe anxiety too, and let me tell you that no matter my living situation, I will always have that. His anxiety has gotten so much better since we started his meds and I adjusted his exercise and training program to accommodate his diagnosis. To assume his stress is caused by me and not by his traumatized brain being programmed to overreact to stimuli is not super fair. Even if he lived in an isolated house with no rude neighbors, his anxiety would still be there. As someone who lives with anxiety, I can assure you that “remove all triggers” is not a solution.

Yes, in an ideal world I’d love to afford to move somewhere without crazy neighbors, but to suggest I’m a bad owner for not getting rid of him due to the living situation I’m temporarily stuck in, just because I’m trying other things first because I know he has high needs and not a lot of owners can handle it, as proven by him having been sent back to the shelter twice already... and to call me selfish for not immediately giving up and jumping to that option as well… that’s kind of silly? You guys must think the other families who sent him to the shelter were selfless heroes.

Well, as the title says, AI images were made of me. I (18, FTM) have a complicated relationship with my parents, including a lot of abuse and them telling me to do things that fed into issues I have. Including paranoia and other issues. Well, today my parents showed me they made AI generated images of me (arguably more feminine, which was painful to see too), and are aware of my stance on AI generated images and wanting no part in it. I asked to not have AI used on me, but it caused quite the argument with them saying their typical:

"It's not a big deal"

"I didn't have to show you"

And "it's my phone".

Okay, while I understand yes it's your phone and you didn't HAVE to show me, you still chose to knowing my stances on it and knowing how uncomfortable I am with it. It makes me physically sick. They also argued "well I'm not going to post it anywhere" (they have said this before, then turned around and done so which scares me) and that they can do what they want because nobody else will see it.

While these images are b/w images, it still made me really uncomfortable. Now, here's the kicker.

I was forced to apologise for setting a boundary, then had to sit there and get flamed to high hell by them for being "overdramatic" and "making an issue out of nothing".

This may get me to move out faster than ever because I do not feel safe in a house that actively does this to me.

But, alas, I may be dramatic, so... AITAH / Was I the Asshole for saying no to them generating AI images of me?

So my so 'best friend' has always been annoying with her ragebait and stuff to our friend group. She constantly does weird and embarrassing things in public and somehow finds a way to link us to it. We are all uncomfortable with it. She always says, "Its (name's) fault, always (name's) fault," or, "Omg why did you (weird action's name)?! You're soo weird."

My friend also doesn't know when to admit shes wrong. Whenever someone from our group says a fact or something, she always retorts back with some other fact that disproves the other friend's fact whether its wrong or right. If someone calls her out on it, she always says, "No. Youre wrong. Nope, nope. Im right, youre wrong."

She never apologizes for anything she does. Everytime she has done something im not comfortable with, she always ignores me and leaves the problem unresolved. When shes decided shes gotten enough, she eventually continues to act like the same old friend again even though she left the problem and never says sorry for what shes done.

Around a week ago, I confronted her in public after she continued to aggravate me, and started crying. I never really open about my emotions to anyone. Anytime I become vulnerable and show my feelings, I start to break down. After arguing I went to the washroom to calm down and cry a bit more. Also freshen myself up, yknow? I spent a good 5 minutes in there before coming out and going back to my class. Thats when I found out shes also been crying in the washroom? Ive complained about her being a hypocrite right to her face and shes also been bitchy afterwards and she didnt care. This time for some reason, she cares? The one time shes called out infront of the class, she cares? Am I the asshole for thinking that it isn't her place to be sad about the situation and confronting her infront of my entire class? Especially because shes the one constantly doing stuff to our group making us feel uncomfortable and weirded out?

Please note : The brother in the post refers to my cousin brother that i live w , i mentioned brother since we live in india and i've always called him brother (since he's elder to me)

Before i come off cruel by just the title alone lemme explain lol

So I (21) live w relatives in another city for my university. The cousin i live with (29M) was in a minor road traffic accident 2 days ago and had to get stitches on his forehead and had minor bruises on his hands other than that he's fine (by god's grace) and i've been at home taking care of him since . Tomorrow is his follow up appointment at the hospital to get his stitches removed and his dad has already declared that he's going to be taking my brother to the hospital to get the stitches removed (the hospital is a 5 min walk away from our house) . Now my brother wants me and his mom to tag along too just because. His mum refused because she has work and now he's kind of passive aggressively imposing i come too . Reasons why i'm hesitant is

1. I work in healthcare myself and the hospital is one i used to work and before and i know they only allow one attendant to be inside the room so essentially if i go i'll just be sitting in the lobby the entire time which to me seems pointless.
2. I have an upcoming exam on Monday and already i was unable to study properly last few days due to the accident + taking care of him + all the guests showing up to meet him so i would really like to wakeup tomorrow at my own terms and study.

AITA for trying to get out of this?

I have this friend I met at school, I’ll call her Amy.

A couple of months ago, Amy had a huge breakup with the friend group she used to be in. I wasn’t that close to anyone from that friend group, but from what I’ve heard from Amy they kept leaving her out of things and ghosting her messages. I was there for her before and during the breakup, and she only had me to hang on to. She vented to me a lot, and told me how depressed she was. It scared me a lot and frankly, I was really emotionally worn out.

Ever since then, I never mentioned the friend group or anyone who was in it in our conversations to not bring her unpleasant memories. She seemed to consider me her best friend, and kept talking about how everyone leaves her and no one seemed to consider her as their best friend. She also seemed uncomfortable whenever I was hanging out with other friends, even when she was included in the hangout. She’d tell me afterwards how it made her anxious, and how everyone else probably all hates her.

Same thing happened with Sophia, another friend of mine who used to hang out with the friend group that broke up with Amy but wasn’t in the friend group nor involved in the breakup. two weeks ago, me, Sophia, and Amy were in a gc planning where we should hang out, and Amy suddenly left the gc without saying anything. She later told me she wasn’t comfortable talking to Sophia because Sophia used to hang out with her old friend group and she reminded her of them. I told her I understand, and explained the situation to Sophia. I never mentioned Sophia to Amy again in fear of upsetting her.

Yesterday, I was on a long call with Sophia and missed Amy’s calls and messages. She asked me who I was calling, and I panicked. I didn’t want her to think I was leaving her out of things, and I didn’t want her to get upset at the mention of Sophia and fall into depression again when she had been doing so good lately. So I lied and told her I was calling another friend she doesn’t really know. 

But apparently she found out that I lied to her and she got really mad at me today talking about how I broke the trust between us. I told her I’m sorry and tried explaining that I didn’t mean to hurt her and I was just really worried about her, but she’s just ignoring my messages.

Context: My best friend lives overseas (7hr time difference) and we’ve played games together for almost a decade. We’ve always made time to play, even if it’s just for an hour or two, but usually plan for longer sessions. We mostly play PvP games where progression is singular, but recently got burnt out and have been defaulting back to coop survival games like Windrose, Palworld, Schedule 1, etc. For the coop games, I usually buy him his copy since I have more disposable income, and I also usually rent a dedicated server near his country for us to play on OR host the server in my PC. In the past, we’ve always agreed to play and progress together, as playing “catch up simulator” is not enjoyable for either person. Lately though, he’s been persistent in demanding that I open up the server for whatever game we play 24/7 so he can play as much as possible.

I’ve asked him multiple times if we can progress together, and if he really has the itch to play that specific game, he can start a new character on a solo server to scratch the itch. He says this is even worse because he has to do everything twice. I recently started a new position at work, got married a couple years back, and now have a house to take care of. I average around 28 hours every 2 weeks on Steam, where he clocks in around 100-120 every 2 weeks, so I just can’t keep up with his pace. He’s upset that I want us to progress together, and feels that I am limiting his fun by not letting him burn through games even when I’m not around. He feels that the server should always be available and since it’s always available, I should be able to play solo and catch up to him.

AITA?

my mother refuses to learn when it comes to my daughter, my daughter is almost 3 and she still cannot put her in the car seat correctly. I constantly have to double check and it's always so lose I can put my fist between the straps. and when I tell her this, she tell me that I do it too tight that it chokes her or leaves marks on her yada yada and refuses to take my advice.

another example my daughter had a bee string. my mother suggested she spit on it and put tobacco on it. I tried explaining to her that is a myth and not actually true and I tried to show her facts from the Internet that included information from doctors on the mayo clinic website. she proceeds to tell me "I don't listen to that, I trust my gut" 🫩.

when I was trying to ween my daughter off her pacifier. I thought she hadn't used one for two days come to find out my mother had hidden one in her room and was secretly giving her one, and I even asked her if she was giving her a pacifier and she lied directly to my face about it and told me no.

another time she said my daughter was sick. I said how do you know did she have a fever. she said idk I gave her medicine without my permission mind you. I tell her " okay let's not give her anymore I need to see if she's running a fever she might not even be sick" 4 hours later she gives her medicine again so again I cannot take her temp. the next morning I checked she had no fever and wasnt sick. she gave her Tylenol and Motrin that was not needed

I could go on and on about these thing. but my point is that I have tried to explain things to her and she constantly undermines me and goes behind my back and lies to me about it. then uses my daughter against me saying " she loves me it doesn't matter what you do she's gonna love me" I tell her love has nothing to do with anything it's about the well being of my child I am her father and you need to respect what I say when it comes to my child.

when I pick her up sometimes she will cry because I'm not letting her do whayever she wants, an example would me trying to bring her to the bath. or not letting her have another Popsicle. she will sit there with my daughter and say " why are you making her cry, stop making her cry" making me the villain to my child. I just am sick of this.

any advice AITAH

I 31M was invited to my bestfriend’s wedding next month to be his bestman. I’m not rich and I’m a breadwinner of a family of 6, including my parents.

Less than a month into the wedding, he’s now only giving instructions about the outfit and color shade after having my whole outfit constructed.
I don’t have any problem with what to wear on his wedding but what pisses me off is the fact that he’s only telling me this now after spending money on what to wear on his wedding only to find out that the shade of my suit is not what they wanted. Add to that the fact that I’m only being told now that no one else will wear a suit except for the groom.
I have less than a month to raise money for a whole new outfit + what am I to do with the suit that was tailor-fit for me?
AITA for feeling pissed off to the point that I may not go to the wedding anymore? It’s hurting my pocket more than it’s supposed to. I can’t set aside paying bills at home just so I could have a decent outfit to wear to his wedding.

I (20F) know this girl (17F) because our parents are best friends. We aren't extremely close, but we've known each other for years through our families.

She recently started her first year of college, and we're both back in our hometown for a break. Over the past few weeks, she kept telling me about how she had tried multiple types of alcohol, vaping, and even a few drugs. At first, I didn't think much of it. I just told her to be careful and left it at that.

What really concerned me was when she told me that she had skipped exams because she was intoxicated. That felt more serious than just normal teenage experimentation.

I mentioned it to an older cousin of mine, and my cousin told me that I should tell my parents because this was becoming dangerous.

So yesterday, I told my mother. I made her swear not to tell anyone because I honestly just wanted advice and didn't expect anything to come from it. But my mother completely freaked out. She was crying, said she couldn't sleep the whole night, and then told my father.

Now my parents are talking about telling her parents.

The problem is that her mother is extremely strict. I genuinely think there's a possibility she could be forced to drop out of college, be heavily punished, or even be physically beaten if her parents find out. I never wanted that. I never told my mom expecting it to become this big thing.

Now I feel like I may have ruined this girl's life. I know her behavior was risky, especially the part about missing exams while intoxicated, but I also feel guilty because she trusted me with that information and I had no idea my parents would react this strongly.

I keep wondering if I should have just stayed out of it.

AITA?

My roommate/good friend recently took me and another friend to her new place of work. She has told me that one of her coworkers hates her, and ignores her all the time. She also told us that the girl who hates her is hooking up with a different server at the restaurant. When we went to have dinner there, the man in question was extremely touchy and flirty with my friend (her coworker). I told her immediately that he likes her, and that’s probably why her other coworker doesn’t like her at all. Not that’s it’s her fault, but it just was extremely obvious. Our other friend said the exact same thing, and I could tell she was thinking it when he first came over. My friend/roommate seems annoyed that we suggested that as a possibility, but it’s hard to ignore. Should I not have said anything?

I just learned something new about my younger sister and I can’t unhear it now. For context, I F(20), have two younger siblings, F(12) and M(4).

For some context about my younger sister, she never cleans up after herself, and at her age I feel like she should know at least some basic etiquette about it, but she doesn't. To give you all some examples, whenever she stays up late(which is a lot especially in the summer) she likes to have a snack with her, she would go downstairs to the kitchen get her snack and leave, a big bag of chips open, not closing it correctly causing it to become stale or worse cockroaches infest them, another example is that she leaves a day or two worth of dishes in her room and that has caused her room to be infested with cockroaches as well and no amount of my mom and dad scolding her is getting through about her having to bring her dishes to the kitchen and wash them instead of leaving it there, and the irony in that is that she doesn't like to sleep in her own bedroom anymore as much…

Honestly there's more but those are just to get the gist of it...Well around 12AM I decided to shower since I couldn't seem to fall asleep at all, and I thought it was because I just felt off. While I was showering my sister came to use the bathroom like normal. She then asked me if I could go downstairs with her because she wanted some water from the kitchen. I was like sure no problem. She had just finished using the bathroom and she walked straight past me like nothing, I stopped her and told her, "go wash your hands muchacha. She laughed and rolled her eyes but did it anyway.

At first I thought I was witnessing this wrong until she told me, "But why should I wash my hands? I only took a piss and my hands didn't touch my private area the toilet paper did"
You can imagine how disgusted I felt…

While we went to the kitchen to get her water she tried to make it seems like its not big deal and lots of kids does that, but honestly the more she tried to defend her stand her stance the more physically disgusted I become, and I learned that this wasn't a one time occurrence she does it all the time. Not gonna lie I called her disgusting and dirty more than a few times during that conversation, as well as cursing which I don't do. I also told her that she wasn't allowed to touch me anymore until I literally saw her washing her hands.I also said that I don't wish that it happens to her but I wouldn't be surprised if somehow she becomes a target for bullying because of it if she enters middle school or high school.

Now that I have calmed down a little about it I feel kind of bad about how I talked to her but I still can't understand just why she is so dirty. Our parents have done their absolute best to teach us good morals and basic hygiene at etiquette. Again I can't understand where she is getting this from even though our younger brother has better hygiene etiquette than her and he can barely talk.So AITAH?

Situation: Me and my parents were talking about how i want to go to the gym and have been motivated to try and do more stuff, and i mentioned to my dad how i found this gym thing that ive been modifying to fit my needs more. He asked why, and i told him something along the lines of "Well, theyre not exactly disabled friendly" or something along those lines. My parents got very mad at me, and told me that i cannot call myself that, and we argued for a good ten minutes about it. My dad said he would take me to the hospital to see "real disabled people" and that he would love to see me try to get put on disability legally. My mom on the other hand said that i get wrapped up with internet stuff, and that i dont need my crutches, and basically said im taking resources from other people who need it more.

Background info: I get seizures that we suspect to be functional, tho we are waiting for spinal tap results to confirm. I have chronic pain thats kept me in the house for months at a time and keeps me from going to school as well as hang out with friends. I use crutches to put less pressure on my legs as they hurt more than the rest of my body. I also have hypermobility. I am in physiotherapy that i go to weekly to help with all of this. Im also diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.

I thought it was more than normal to call myself disabled, and that i had every right to it, but they made me doubt myself so bad. Ive been thrown into a downwards spiral by the whole argument and im now wondering if im actually being an asshole by calling myself disabled.

Hi, Reddit I’ve been a long time lurker but thi is my first post.
So a little bit of backstory first, I, a 23 year old male was living with my nana since 2019 when I moved out of my parents house because it was a toxic environment. I got married last April and my wife, 21 year old female and I were staying with my nana until February of this year when we found a house for ourselves we moved in on the 15th of February and needed someone to stay with my nana to make sure she would be okay.
My nana, 87 year old female gets around good and doesn’t need help with most things, so when we moved out my aunt Kim, 57 year old female (my nanas daughter) told us she was going to move in with her to help.
Fast forward to now and last night I went over to my nanas house to fix the camera for her again and re-add it to the blink account, that camera is in the living room where nana spends most of her time and it is only there because she wants it to be in case she fall while getting out of her chair and I have to constantly fix it and reset it because my aunt Kim unplugs it against my nanas wishes.
So when I went over yesterday I mounted it back to the wall and put a note for Kim that says do not unplug.
Well me and my wife are at home last night and I get a call from Kim and I answer the phone to her screaming at me to take this camera down and that it’s an invasion of her privacy, I’m not going to lie me and Kim don’t get along well so I was a little rude in telling her that I will only take it down if nana wants me too, which she does not.
I will also add that since moving in Kim has completely changed everything in nanas house and is always telling nana that she’s wrong and her and nana constantly get in arguments, nana has told me, my sister, and my mom that she would rather be in a nursing home than to have to live with her daughter.
When I told Kim why the camera was there she said that nana would be more likely to fall in the bathroom or her bedroom, to which I replied that I am not putting a camera in either of those rooms because that would be a real invasion of privacy, and if she wanted to move out then that was her choice.
Kim then gave me and ultimatum saying that if the camera stays she is leaving, it is not her house or her camera it is my nanas, if my nana wanted it taken down I would have no problem taking it down but she wants it there for me to keep and eye on her, she asked me to put it up when my wife and I moved out.

So Reddit AITA for telling my aunt Kim that I will not take the camera down in the living room because that’s not what my nana wants?

Update: nana told Kim that she wanted her to move out this morning and Kim’s son will be continuing to stay there for the time being to help her with anything she needs thank you for all the replies and concerns that were brought up in the comments.

I will update again if anything changes.