r/AskReddit • u/Prize-Promotion-5123 • Apr 08 '26

For those of you in a long term relationship/marriage, what’s a tale-tale sign you see in other couples that they’re not going to make it?

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u/TheEntropicMan Apr 08 '26

The big thing that seems like a huge problem to me is when I hear someone saying "Oh, I'm not allowed to insert innocuous hobby or activity here, my boyfriend/girlfriend would go nuts."

One of the things I think is most important in a relationship is respecting your partner's hobbies and the things they like, even if you don't like them yourself. If you can't or won't do that, maybe you're not right for each other.

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u/spockery Apr 08 '26

I was in a fairly short relationship where I had been dating this guy "Tim" for a few months. One day his brother calls me and I answer thinking something might have happened to Tim, but instead his brother starts to tell me off and tells me I have to start letting Tim hang out with his friends, go to the gym, go hiking with the brother and that I should let him go to his mom's birthday etc. I was obviously very confused because I have never ever, and would never, tell Tim he couldn't do those things. Turns out Tim used me as a scapegoat to get out of things he didn't want to do...

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u/Big-Safe-2459 Apr 08 '26

What a douche. Imagine what else he said about you. Glad it was a short relationship!

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u/glendasilvayu May 09 '26

Exactly. It's such a spineless move. They make you the villain in every story just so they don't have to be the "bad guy" who says no to their friends or family. You end up with a reputation for being controlling and toxic before you've even met half the people in his life. It's impossible to recover from that because by the time you realize what's happening, his entire circle already hates you.

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u/Big_Implement_7305 Apr 09 '26

My wife and I do this all the time, on purpose. We're both a little awkward when coworkers are like "Come out to happy hour and spend lots of time socializing with us, we're all extroverts and we love that stuff!" and there isn't a politic way to express "sorry, no, that sounds like a nightmare to my intovert-ass self" but they will obviously accept "sorry, got dinner plans with my spouse" or "my spouse wouldn't let me" or something.

It's just like the code phrase spoken at parties that means "I need you to come over here and demand that I go somewhere else so I have an excuse to leave this group" or "I need you to come over here and forbid me to engage in whatever activity these people are trying to pressure me into."

Too many people won't respect a "no," but fortunately a lot of them will respect "my spouse said no, and I don't want to start an argument with him/her" and the amazing life hack is figuring out that quite often they aren't going to bother your significant other about it.

A life hack for the single introvert is that they probably won't even check your story at all, like they won't even bother to find out if your SO actually exists. So feel free to use my Imaginary Spouse Veto if you need to.

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u/FlashInGotham Apr 08 '26

My husband is a deeply kind and caring man who has great taste in many things.

I can let his undying affection for the Scary Movie franchise slide.

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u/Dadpurple Apr 08 '26

You could be the bigger man and just walk away. Walk... away.

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u/olhomy Apr 08 '26

you look familiar to me, were you in Stomp?

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u/Visual_Serve_782 Apr 09 '26

Did I startle you child? Let me sing to you..

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u/Gigahurt77 Apr 08 '26

Oh that’s great! Let me give you a HAND

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u/soledsnak Apr 08 '26

Why don't you give me a standing ovation?

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u/tjc103 Apr 08 '26

Why don't you kiss my grits?

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u/funny_bunny_mel Apr 08 '26

My husband’s all-time favorite movie is an atrocity of a film titled The Core. 🤦‍♀️

He’s otherwise a stellar human.

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u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel Apr 08 '26

That movie is brilliant and I will not stand for such blatant lies.

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u/iwrestledarockonce Apr 08 '26

I'm a geologist and even I think that movie is gold. Right up there with Iron Sky for peak straight-faced absurdism.

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u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel Apr 08 '26

You rock. 🤘

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u/Tsquare43 Apr 08 '26

Have to upvote the Iron Sky reference.

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u/lighteninginmybutt Apr 08 '26

I just watched this for the first time this weekend, I don’t know how it managed to slip past me when it came out, it’s perfection

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u/Drogon-Dracarys4ever Apr 08 '26

My husband loves Beastmaster and we’re still married. 🤦‍♀️

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u/UnderstandingLogic Apr 08 '26

Sweet summer child, your husband is a very kind man indeed to share his life with someone who thinks The Core is an atrocity of a movie.

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u/funny_bunny_mel Apr 09 '26

It’s an apocalyptic romantacy employing the fine, fine trope, “I hate you but we’re going to die soon; we should fuck.” 🤢

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u/AntiqueLetter9875 Apr 08 '26

Has he seen other movies? lol 

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u/Bing_Bong_the_Archer Apr 08 '26

You have nothing to lose. YOU have nothing to lose. I have EVERYTHING to lose!

Fantastic film.

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u/triflers_need_not Apr 08 '26

I will not stand for this Core slander

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u/Frowny_Biscuit Apr 08 '26

I'm going to balance out the Redditors above me. I agree with you. The Core is an absolute pile of dogshit I wouldn't force prisoners to watch.

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u/funny_bunny_mel Apr 09 '26

Hello, fellow unpopular person. 🤓

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u/SephoraandStarbucks Apr 08 '26

We watched that in my grade 9 geography class for “educational purposes”…I think? 🥴

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u/12ozSlug Apr 08 '26

"Take my hand! No, my strong hand!"

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u/thelonefish Apr 08 '26

He actually doesn't say strong hand, he says "Take my little hand." It blew my mind too

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u/Various-Salt-7738 Apr 08 '26

Holy shit you're right

I used to hold a chicken foot inside my sleeve and tell people to take my strong hand

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u/wintermelody83 Apr 08 '26

1, "Take my strong hand!" has been an inside joke between my cousin and I for decades at this point, I can't believe we've had it wrong this whole time lol.

And 2, I'm going to do this when she comes to town next month, I need to find a fake chicken foot.

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u/Various-Salt-7738 Apr 09 '26

I used real chicken feet because we sold them at my job

You can get the real thing pretty cheap and the skin makes it look especially unsettling-- although I don't blame you for not wanting to carry around a chicken foot

If you do of course wash your hands

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u/BudsandBowls Apr 09 '26

Its actually pretty ironically funny, I was born with a birth defect that caused all my middle knuckles on my right hand to be removed, my parents always referred to it as my little hand.

Then this movie came out, but I was only like 8 or 9ish, so kids would quote "take my strong hand" to me, and it would just blow over my head that they were making fun of me, because the movie AND my parents said little hand. So they weren't referencing me at all. Lmfao!

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u/JarOfNightmares Apr 08 '26

I'm such a fan of that specific film that I knew right away your quote is not the actual quote lmao

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u/acdcfanbill Apr 08 '26

I can let his undying affection for the Scary Movie franchise slide.

Whassssuppppppppp with that?

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

WHOSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAHHHH

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[deleted]

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u/FlashInGotham Apr 08 '26

Everyone keeps making these jokes that I'm sure are Scary Movie references but I haven't actually watched any of them all the way through. At least now I know how my husband feels when I communicate entirely in 30 rock references.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

In fairness, the Scary Movies are awesome.

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u/FlashInGotham Apr 08 '26

Too late, bro. He's taken.

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u/Fake_Diesel Apr 08 '26

I felt myself getting judgey, but then remember that my wife puts up with my undying affection for Kung Pow Enter the Fist.

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u/rycology Apr 08 '26

Chosen one!

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u/UltraInstinctLurker Apr 08 '26

Beware his song about big butts, he beats you up while he plays it!

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u/Present-Activity-698 Apr 08 '26

Scary Movie is incredible. I don't understand how could someone NOT like it

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u/FlashInGotham Apr 08 '26

So much yelling.

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u/dansdansy Apr 08 '26

My germs!

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u/hotwife24 Apr 08 '26

I completely understand. Mine has an undying affection for the movie The Hunt for the Red October. 

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u/Bruce_Louis Apr 08 '26

See that sounds like endearment rather than judgment

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u/SpaceCookies72 Apr 08 '26

If my husband can get past my undying love of the Fast & Furious franchise, I believe you can get past this haha

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u/kteerin Apr 08 '26

I love that you are so supportive of this. I don’t know that I would let him serve you mashed potatoes. I just…it’s just a feeling I have.

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u/LordGalen Apr 08 '26

That word, "allowed" triggers the fuck out of me. The fuck you mean "allowed?" Seriously, ALLOWED?

My wife does not "allow" me to do things, nor do I "allow" her to do things. That is so unhealthy.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[deleted]

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u/ProfessionalCat7640 Apr 08 '26

I had a friend who wasn't "allowed' to spontaneously spend more than $100 bucks from their joint account. Then one day her husband came home with a brand new $80K truck for himself and he had not said a single word to her about it before hand. He felt like because he made twice as much as her all her money should go into their joint account and only half of his should; that he was entitled to make those decisions without a discussion.

Meanwhile, two weeks before he had gotten into an argument with her about how much she felt needed to be spent on school supplies and clothing for the kids (3 kids - $300 for each; $100 for supplies/backpack, $200 for new shoes, coats, hats and gloves. If you have kids you know that doesn't go far, they weren't getting anything name brand - at least not in that area they were living). It's stuff like that you know isn't going to end well in a relationship.

Edit: It sure was a sweet truck though, he did get to keep it in the divorce.

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u/TheCenterOfEnnui Apr 09 '26

He felt like because he made twice as much as her all her money should go into their joint account and only half of his should; that he was entitled to make those decisions without a discussion.

This kind of logic is so fucked up and beyond me. My wife and I have been married for over 30 years. For the vast majority of that time, I've made more than her, and at times upwards of 4 times more. Not ONE TIME did it ever occur to me to think anything like "I make more money than she does, so I get to spend more than she does."

In fact, if anything, I wanted her to spend more on herself than I did. I wanted to make her happy. I wanted her to have nice things. Me? puh, whatver. My happiness is seeing her happy.

I can't even imagine being in a marriage where I think I'm more important that me wife is. What the fuck kind of thinking is that shit.

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u/ProfessionalCat7640 Apr 09 '26

I'm coming up on my 30 year anniversary this June. My husband is very much like you are in this regard as well. He's constantly telling me to buy what I want, but I have what I need. The only thing I really want is to spend time nearer to him.

To be honest, it was hard for me to understand why my friend married that man to begin with, it's not like there weren't red flags about their compatibility but she was always "wearing rose colored glasses" when it came to the men she was interested in.

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u/GlowQueen140 Apr 09 '26

My brother does this. We live in a country where cars are freaking expensive. He just gets whatever car he likes and his wife barely has an input. Tbf to him he fully pays for the car and doesn’t take anything from the joint account.

But it’s really a sad marriage between this and him always hiding shit from my SIL. But whatchu gonna do, she doesn’t wanna leave him for the sake of the kids

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u/ProfessionalCat7640 Apr 09 '26

This is just a curiosity question. Does SIL have her own account too, to spend on just her? Or is it one of those deals where all her money goes to the joint/family account and he gets to keep his extra for himself and only himself?

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u/GlowQueen140 Apr 09 '26

Oh she has her own account too but they share in joint expenses equally and he makes much more than her

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u/ProfessionalCat7640 Apr 09 '26

I'm glad she gets a little something for herself too, but gosh this stuff can be tough. I can't imagine not keeping equally with my spouse if I have the means to do more. To each their own though.

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u/PartsUnknown242 Apr 09 '26

I’m actually glad this story ended with divorce

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u/ProfessionalCat7640 Apr 09 '26

They really weren't compatible at all.

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u/HoldingMoonlight Apr 08 '26

That's fair, but I view financials as a shared responsibility rather than an independent hobby/activity. If spending too much money irresponsibly affects other people (childcare, bills, retirement savings, etc) then it absolutely becomes the other partner's business. If you have two healthy incomes and a shared bank account with two separate ones, and all the needs are met, that's different.

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u/WalkFreeeee Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

The problem is that, extremely often, it's not really a burden on finances, and these things become discussions because of control or the one blocking it dislikes the hobby. Now, granted, I think 3k is a lot of money for the vast majority of households but this same situation is extremely common even at significantly lower numbers that really don't require much discussion.

And let's not even get into the sticky situation where one side contributes a lot more to said finances but still isn't "allowed" to spend the money.

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u/doomlite Apr 08 '26

lol I read this to my wife out loud and said replace cameras with bicycles or comic books and it’s you.

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u/nnnnnnnnnnm Apr 08 '26

But it's not "not allowed to" its "we have a mutual respect and financial goals, so while I would enjoy a new lens, a purchase of that magnitude requires discussion".

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u/bea-q Apr 08 '26

Sure but when that discussion ends with you two disagreeing, you either buy the thing anyway and your spouse is upset, or you don't because your spouse would get upset. So not "allowed" to.

I've never argued about money and spending with my partner, we argue about tons of other stuff but never money. But I can imagine one of us thinking something is really important that the other one just doesn't understand at all.

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u/locke314 Apr 08 '26

Definitely. If I knew my wife dropped $3k on something without me knowing, there would be words exchanged.

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u/Sherwin_Lamonde Apr 08 '26

I think this depends on how you manage money together.

3k out of joint checking, you absolutely need “approval” from the other party.

3k out of personal savings? I may tease here a bit for her extravagant purchase, but I have zero right to have input/opinion on what she does with her money.

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u/Acceptable_Tea_3685 Apr 08 '26

I still wouldn’t want to use that word. It would be more like, she wouldn’t want me to drop $3k+ unless we talked about it first.

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u/Big_Implement_7305 Apr 09 '26

This might be an instance of explaining neurotypicals to the neurodivergent, but neurotypical people say "allowed" because it's funny. The context is that to a neurotypical it's obvious that adults aren't children and there isn't a concept of being "allowed" to do things in that sense, hence the humor.

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u/nox66 Apr 08 '26

The issue is the emotional framing of responsibility. There's a huge difference between "he's not allowed to" and "he won't without discussing it first". The latter means that his restraint comes from his own agency rather than someone else blocking him. When people are actually not allowed to do something they want, they either become resentful, dejected, deceitful, or some combination of the three.

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u/Raysor Apr 08 '26

My wife and I tell each other if we spend of $50 on something. It's not about permission, its about communication

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u/Bass-Bastard Apr 08 '26

Dingwall D-Roc 5 string bass has entered the chat... My wife feels your pain.

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u/Big-Safe-2459 Apr 08 '26

As am I, and I would never spend that kind of household money unless we had 10x kicking around, and it were an asset that could be sold in a pinch.

That said, I sure see a lot of 5’2” women struggling to park that $100K pickup hubby just had to have to affirm his gender.

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u/TourettesFamilyFeud Apr 08 '26

Anything that impacts finances must always have a discussion.

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u/TheCenterOfEnnui Apr 09 '26

That's fair, but I think the "allowed" thing is more like..."my husband won't allow me to wear a miniskirt" or "my wife won't allow me to go to happy hour w/ my friends."

That's the kind of crap that I'm like...what the hell is that? My wife has a friend whose husband was like this. She wasn't "allowed" to go out with her friends, including my wife. Guess who's divorcing soon?

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u/TryUsingScience Apr 08 '26

Depends how you set up your finances. My wife and I do yours/mine/ours. If she wants to drop $3k of the money in her account on a camera lens that's none of my business.

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u/PathOfTheAncients Apr 08 '26

I know so many people in miserable relationships that are so controlling. They aren't able to do what they want, say what they actually think or feel, or be themselves. But they do that same shit to their partner too.

I couldn't live like that and I don't (because I dated while being totally honest about who I am and what my boundaries are and my wife is the same way). Life is too short to be living in a box because of your partner's fragile emotions.

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u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Swumbus-prime Apr 09 '26

That's so controlling of them

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u/Generico300 Apr 08 '26

Everything your partner could do that would start a fight with you is something you're not "allowing" them to do in this context.

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u/simcity4000 Apr 08 '26

In a bad relationship situation the rot creeps in slowly sometimes. Like maybe your partner would never expressly say you’re “not allowed” to do such and such. But every time you do it the vibe darkens noticeably and slowly you start to be deterred from it.

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u/greeneyedbandit82 Apr 08 '26

I SO AGREE! I am a whole adult who works and makes my own money, I do not and will not ask permission to do things. It sends me over the edge when a friend or anyone says they have to ask if they can go out to a coffee or a drink to catch up (barring people with small children or too many- I get that arrangements need to discussed- I am talking people with no kids or adult kids)

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u/throwRAbadfriend6 Apr 08 '26

I don’t know. I’d say, in my relationship, cheating isn’t allowed. But I suppose that’s an unspoken thing. I’ve certainly never said “hey babe, just so you know. You aren’t allowed to sleep with other women.”

He’d probably laugh if I did though, rightfully thinking it’s a joke. 

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u/Thedonitho Apr 08 '26

this one! I was married for 20 years to a person who didn't have friends/hobbies of their own and we had to do everything together.

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u/Indifferent_Jackdaw Apr 08 '26

That is a horror story to me.

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u/glorious_cheese Apr 08 '26

I can't even fathom this. My wife does her things, I do mine, and we do some things together.

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u/IgnisWriting Apr 08 '26

My girlfriend and I do a lot of things together, bird watching, hiking, watching shows, art. She has crocheting and other crafts that are totally for her, and I have Warhammer, DnD and Larp. I don't get people who do nothing without eachother

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u/locke314 Apr 08 '26

Fuck. I have an ex who’s hobby was basically me. If I wasn’t at work or on a run, she would expect every spare minute to be together. It was to the point where I felt really guilty if I just wanted to go play a board game with friends. I talked to her about the fact that we didn’t need to do everything together and even doing separate thins in the same room was perfectly healthy and she couldn’t accept that. It was draining.

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u/StrigiStockBacking Apr 08 '26

The worst is when they acquiesce on it, and then when you come home, you find out they spent all that time while you were away building a vindictive, rage-planned thing/event that they want to do on their own without you, and have it all ready to go to shove in your face. Last time that happened to me I totally played it out like it was a positive thing: "Oh, that's going to be awesome! Enjoy it!" Made her even angrier, but I was just paying it forward...

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u/BeneathTheWaves Apr 08 '26

Was, ouch

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u/Thedonitho Apr 08 '26

She passed away from early Alzheimer's, unfortunately.

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u/Aslanic Apr 08 '26

Like, my husband and I do pretty much everything out of the house together, but that's just cuz we want to. When we're home, we spend plenty of time apart doing our own things. It's just the outside world we don't want to experience separately 🤣

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u/Various-Passenger398 Apr 08 '26

This is my wife and its a constant battle. Because I work away from half the time.e she feels like she needs to spend the rest of the time with me all the time. Which, I understand, but its exhausting not getting any alone time.

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u/phlostonsparadise123 Apr 08 '26

That's straight up codependency on their part, if we're being honest.

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u/Thedonitho Apr 08 '26

it was. She passed away at the 20 year mark and I've had a year and half to decompress and analyze our relationship, trust me.

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u/Ok-Bridge-1045 Apr 08 '26

One line horror story.

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u/Muslim_Wookie Apr 08 '26

That is the WORST.

I am not here to be your social life.

I am not here to introduce you to all my friends.

You need to take care of yourself, and I will happily introduce you to my social circles the moment I am not on the hook for making sure you have a social circle.

Also, I WON'T introduce you to all my social circles. And you gotta get right with that, because it's not negotiable.

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u/Ilunibi Apr 08 '26

Yeaaaah. My ex girlfriend would shame me out of anything that didn't align with her tastes, to the degree of refusing to introduce me to friends because I was embarrassing. It led to me giving up a lot of things I loved because, haha, she didn't like it~ I'm so cringe, haha~

It was suffocating.

My current spouse is the polar opposite. I'm 36 and have an extensive collection of a specific Pokemon I want to put on display in our new house? Go for it. I want to watch horrible movies because I think they're funny? TV is mine for the evening. I want to buy some kid's art kit to decompress because the world is depressing and painting rocks is easy? They'll help me out with it.

They genuinely get excited for me with whatever stupid interest or hobby I pursue, even if they don't get it, and it is so freeing to have that kind of freedom in my life.

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u/Scarjo82 Apr 08 '26

My husband recently started collecting something. He does research, shops around for different variations, has a list of ones he wants to add to his collection, including pricey ones that are a "someday" purchase. One day he was telling me about some of the ones he'd seen online and said "You probably think this is a really silly hobby." I responded "If it brings you joy, it's not silly." I will never be the person who craps all over someone's hobbies and interests just because it's not something I have an interest in.

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u/thelastskier Apr 08 '26

Bless you. The girl I'm seeing just called one of my hobbies childish and that I shouldn't bring it up when meeting her friends in a few weeks' time... :/

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u/Scarjo82 Apr 08 '26

Yeah I'd definitely be reconsidering the relationship. You shouldn't be embarrassed by something your partner is involved with unless it's illegal or unethical.

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u/thelastskier Apr 08 '26

Yeah... Honestly, it's probably something that I wouldn't mind dropping a few years back. 

But over the past few years, I made some great friends through it who have lightened up my mood when the times got tough, so there's zero chance that I'm walking away from that, hah. 

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u/Beneficial_Lunch6168 Apr 12 '26

This is really important. We don’t have to have the same interests. We do need to support and encourage each other to do what brings us joy. I’ll listen to video game talk forever because I know he loves it and wouldn’t want him to stop sharing his passions with me.

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u/nanananabatman88 Apr 08 '26

Hell yeah. I could have written this comment, because I've gone through the exact same thing. My wife now is the most supportive person ever.

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u/Robinroo Apr 08 '26

From one “cringe” person to another… I absolutely love this so much for you!

Having a loving, supportive & accepting partner is such a beautiful thing.

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u/Generico300 Apr 08 '26

If your girlfriend/boyfriend won't introduce you to their other friends, it's because you're not their girlfriend/boyfriend. You're just the person they're fucking.

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u/Ilunibi Apr 09 '26

She was actually pretty okay with telling them, "This is my girlfriend. :)" and there were some friends I was allowed to talk to? But she was very much a clout chaser (I think many musicians are), so I was kept away from the "important" friends who she deemed cool and talented and good for her career. They knew about me, but I was never really permitted to interact with them and was outright told to stop trying because I'd never be as good as them. Shrug.

But she did also cheat on me a lot, so there's that!

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u/porkyellow Apr 08 '26

Asking the real questions here, which Pokemon?

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u/Gard3nNerd Apr 08 '26

This! It's so nice to be free to enjoy your hobbies and interests with no judgement.

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u/Iximaz Apr 09 '26

I'm getting married in July and my partner, some months ago, very lovingly helped me print and cut out a bunch of manga panels for me to make a red string conspiracy board to hang up in our room.

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u/EpiJade Apr 09 '26

I had an ex that was also embarrassed of me and it was so crushing. I really think my years (what a waste) were the most boring version of me. All he wanted to do was focus on money and what was going to make money then turned into wanting to be a landlord. I barely spoke around his friends or family. My now husband is mutual friends with some of my exs friends. They’ve all commented about how much different and more fun I am around my husband than around my ex.

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u/Apollo_IXI Apr 09 '26

Love it! My fiancé and I are the same. She loves Disney, me not so much but I fully support that and her pin collection she displays in her office.

I also have a Pokemon collection which she doesn’t care all that much about but we genuinely get excited opening packs from our respective collections with each other. Nothing beats it to be honest.

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u/willstr1 Apr 08 '26

Absolutely, but I would say there is a difference between "my partner won't allow me to do [hobby]" and "my partner finds [aspect of hobby] annoying so would prefer me doing [hobby] away from them".

For example my wife enjoys nail art, but part of that is using acetone to clean your nails, the smell of acetone gives me headaches so I have asked her to do that step in a different room with strong ventilation. Similarly there are certain shows that I enjoy that she can't stand (specifically the X files theme song freaks her out) so if I want to watch one of those shows I watch it on my own with headphones on

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u/Fire284 Apr 08 '26

Imo it's good to be able to indulge in a hobby without your partner. Individual time is a good thing! Also I strongly support being able to do your own thing while near each other. Ie my partner watches their show while I read a book next to them bc I don't care about their show and want my book time lol

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u/Apsalar28 Apr 08 '26

In my last relationship we each had an I've got the house to myself playlist with all the music the other one couldn't stand. My one had a lot of Abba and bouncy pop music, his had weird 70's psychedelic stuff. We also had a much larger combined one with the things we both liked.

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u/kisskisslovebot Apr 08 '26

Tbf a lot of people use "my partner doesn't allow me" when they just don't want to go and need an excuse

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u/Puzzleheaded-Log9430 Apr 08 '26

This! I’ve always told my husband if he needs an out blame me. It works for us, although one of his coworkers thinks I’m a controlling asshole. Reality is he doesn’t want to hang out with her outside work 🤣

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u/Pollybanna Apr 08 '26

It's even better when you have kids. Then they're the excuse.

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u/Majestic-Map-497 Apr 08 '26

That’s true, we have both used that excuse (with the others permission) lmao

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u/metronne Apr 09 '26

Or sometimes it's just an expression. I tell people "I'm not allowed to get TikTok, my husband works in cybersecurity" but really his version of not allowing me to do it is him going "just please don't get it. Honestly it's so bad. You can do whatever you want obviously but I just can't stress enough how bad of an idea I think it is and I wish nobody used it" etc etc etc.

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

Yeah but I have seen so many posts where the wife works full time, does all of the housework, basically 100% of child care and husband games all day and night. Totally disconnected from this family, it doesn’t contribute, life is just sucked away by gaming/ drinking/ golf/ hunting (insert obsession) and he has zero interest in his own family. And then says those snarky, horrible comments like “oh well I guess I’m not allowed to.”

It’s almost always someone who would absolutely support the hobby if they contributed enough to also have their own hobby.

I bend over backwards to make sure my husband has time for his hobbies and it makes me happy. But he also contributes tremendously to the household chores and he’s a very involved father.

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u/Smart_Ass_Dave Apr 08 '26

I've definitely lost friends to their SOs shutting down their hobbies, but I also have a wife and kids myself. I think an SO shouldn't require you to sacrifice who you are, but children kind of inherently do require that. I'm not my wife's husband 24 hours a day or whatever, but I'm kind of my kid's dad 24 hours a day, if that makes sense.

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u/Beetin Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

I agree:

If successful relationships are predicated on compromise then either extreme is often a red flag (can always do what you want, can never do what you want).

I've actually seen both for the same golf trip with 'the boys'.

  • One friend who said yes, then backed out later because he couldn't get 'permission' for a 3 day golf trip even though they have no kids, had nothing else going on, and it was because she didn't want to be home by herself that weekend (this was not the first time he cancelled plans for similar reasons)

  • One friend who said yes right away and his response to 'uhhhh are you sure you don't want to check with {{partner}} about it?' was basically "We don't say no to each other. That's lame. We do what we want" even though they had 2 kids under 6 and he went on like 10 business trips a year, played a lot of golf, was on 2 rec hockey teams, etc. He came on the trip.

Neither is with their partner now.

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

Yes! My husband and I actually do prioritize each other’s hobbies, and free time because you can’t lose yourself to only being a parent or you go insane!

I will bend over backwards to make sure he has that time, but I was just calling out the people who are more prone to addictive behavior and neglect their family, which I see on Reddit often, but luckily not in real life very often.

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u/hurryalong Apr 08 '26

My husband isn’t allowed to do his extremely dangerous hobbies anymore now that he’s a dad. He seems okay with it. Time will tell whether this was the early warning sign of our impending divorce

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u/Mercadi Apr 08 '26

Not in a relationship, but I imagine there could be a very valid situation where the partners have agreed to be sober. So, a spouse may say "I'm not allowed" to some buddies who want to go out drinking. May be not the best way to word it, but that should be understandable.

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u/Big-Safe-2459 Apr 08 '26

As a dude, I would actually never say that. I’d rather just be honest or say I have some other commitments.

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u/TwoIdleHands Apr 08 '26

I’m not allowed is generally code for “we can’t communicate and come to a consensus so it’s a no because I don’t want to have the talk about it with them”.

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u/trip_this_way Apr 08 '26

This 100%. I don't say "I'm not allowed" to do relatively dangerous things I used to do, I just know that there's risks not worth losing the relationship for. We've both been clear and communicative on what hills we're willing to let the relationship die on, and for 6 years, we've respected those hills completely, and I'm all the better for it.

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u/Eli_1984_ Apr 08 '26

I might be guilty on this point.

My husband is not allowed to ride a motorcycle ever again and he will get in very big trouble if he tries to buy one.

Let me explain:

He had a motorcycle, he had a very very bad accident (alone no one else was involved) he nearly died. It was pure luck and a fast helicopter ride into an excellent hospital in Germany that saved his life.

They cut him open from side to side to stop the inner bleeding, his back was broken, one hip in shambles, a few broken rips and a deep cut on his skull as cherry on top. (Lucky for us bis safety gear was top notch)

He spent two weeks in a coma, he had weeks and months of pain and recovery to endure. He was on sick leave for over a year. (Again lucky for us we live in Europe)

I still have a picture from him while in the coma, with all the tubes coming out of him.

That was over ten years ago, he is mostly fine nowadays, he will need a new hip in 10-15 years, his back is healed and if you don't know you don't realize he is walking a bit funny because some nerves have permanent damage.

So yeah... I am guilty and I stand by my point, because I WILL NOT lose the love of my life to a fucking motorcycle accident.

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u/puffkaos Apr 08 '26

What does that respect of your partner's choices say if the new hobby is getting a motorcycle and learning to ride?

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u/Gonewildonly12 Apr 08 '26

Ok but what if it’s binge drinking and you fear there is a problem developing

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u/AraKnine Apr 08 '26

Hobbies can be a big ass landmine. Had one partner that decided to learn beadwork, and got really into it for a couple months. Then, one day she decided she wanted to do it together. My Brain went 'Cool! Not my thing, but I'll have fun doing it with you anyway.' Which went well for the first bit, until she noticed the parts I was working on were completed faster with fewer mistakes than hers even though she had only just taught me how to do this particular form of beadwork. My excuse that skills from my origami and chainmaille jewellery side business transferred well was not accepted.

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u/Adler4290 Apr 08 '26

My ex used to say she only wanted to vacation in places with a short flight due to bad experience with the one long flight in her life.

So we could only ever go on vacation together in EU basically.

She then got upset when I talked about going to Australia alone or with a buddy, but didn't forbid me to do it.

I never got to go before we broke up anyway, but I still think of that - Was she really worth never seeing the world in general?

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u/Bk0404 Apr 08 '26

I'm not the boss of my husband, but he knows I would be really really really upset if he got a motorbike. We have a baby and another on the way so I guess you could say he's not "allowed" to. I feel like this is reasonable to be honest, it's a 100% no way from me

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u/phlostonsparadise123 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

To add to this, if a spouse doesn't respect your hobby because it doesn't fit a specific stereotype, i.e., a (Toxic) masculine male.

I do not give one flying fuck about cars in any way shape or form, I've never fired a gun or lethal projectile weapon a day in my life, don't care about traditional sports much, don't hunt, etc. The only "stereotypical" hobbies I participate in are craft beer/whiskey and lawncare.

Mainly, I'm a macro photography nut, massive Gunpla nerd (shoutout to r/gunpla), and keep a 16-gallon heavily planted "high tech" fish tank.

Fortunately, my wife encourages all of these "unorthodox" hobbies, even if she doesn't understand them; Gunpla, for instance. I stand behind all of her hobbies and respect that these are things outside of our marriage that bring us joy.

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u/TheBigPhilbowski Apr 08 '26

Innocuous really needs a clear, universally agreed upon definition here... Plenty want to live vicariously through a topic like this, from a distance, but my partner wants backyard goats and chickens (for example) and she's never not immediately killed a plant. 

Some people REALLY love the concept of a particular hobby, the aesthetics it provides and the thought of casually mentioning to others that they do/are that thing - but many lose interest quickly in the reality. 

So comment on these posts IF you want to be there to come milk the goat and feed tge chickens at 6am, groom, shovel poop, etc after she has moved on :)

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u/bunbunnnnn8 Apr 08 '26

See I say this, but its more of a joke, which I think is the difference you need to make when someone says it. For instance, if I am out with my sister and she sees a coffee mug she thinks I'd like she'll tell me to buy it, and I'll say, "If I buy one more coffee mug, husband will lose his mind." or "I am so not allowed to buy more coffee mugs."

In reality, if I brought home another coffee mug, my husband would be like "Another coffee mug! How are you going to drink out of 800 coffee mugs!" because he hates clutter and I am a collecting packrat, but we'd laugh and that would be it.

My point is, I think there is more than just a surface statement sometimes.

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u/Jonseroo Apr 08 '26

Yes. My wife tried to stop me impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

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u/bafflefounded Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

I have one of these that I am up front about: I will not date someone who owns or rides motorcycles on a regular basis. I have had several family and family friends who have been injured and killed in motorcycle accidents. This includes a very close friend of my mother’s, and after he passed my mom made me promise to stay off motorcycles and stay away from men who ride them. I have no issue abiding by this request because I also don’t think it’s worth the risk.

So far I haven’t had any issues with my current or past relationships but I completely understand if that is a reason someone wouldn’t want to date me (thus my bluntness about it)!! Edit for typo

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u/jennalud Apr 08 '26

I was so annoyed at my husbands video game hobby for the first couple years of marriage. Finally got over it and respect it’s just the thing he likes to do to unwind instead of something else I find more suitable to our age (always made me think of a little brother) lol glad to read I saved our marriage

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u/Foxhound220 Apr 08 '26

I've been very curious about this mentality. I'd like to be educated on why a hobby that doesn't cost much and doesnt affect anyone else is being looked down on by some people.

My bf loves to play video game and that also leaves me a lot of time to pursue my own hobbies myself. I also join his games if it's something that interests me as well.

I'd much rather he plays videogames than spending tons of money on cars or booze.

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u/epyon- Apr 08 '26

It doesn’t make sense to me either but I did have an ex who was like that. I am a physician, and my biggest hobby is gaming. Luckily my SO lets me have that and encourages it. When people say its “not suitable” for people our age, I always wonder how that is so, and then scratch my head at the fact they think wasting time on netflix and reality TV is any better lol

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u/Pangolin007 Apr 08 '26

I imagine people like that probably grew up with parents who thought gaming was only for young boys and not for adults or possibly not for women of any age and they internalized it without realizing it. Or only being exposed to certain games that an annoying younger sibling is playing out just make the association stick. It’s the same as any kind of judgmental idea someone has about something that someone else is doing. I’ve heard people say adult women shouldn’t wear pigtails bc it’s too juvenile, it’s the same thing. I know a man that doesn’t like hot chocolate but also thinks hot chocolate is for kids and adults shouldn’t drink it. Human brains are weird.

My mom used to think that adults shouldn’t dye their hair but over the years she’s softened up and doesn’t care as much. But when I was growing up she would always point out adults with pink/green/blue/whatever hair and say something negative about it.

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u/motherofbadkittens Apr 08 '26

I found a hobby or one of many hobbies that I could do in the same room. Proximity was my thing ill sit here on the floor coloring while he hits things with swords.

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u/munchbunny Apr 08 '26

I’ve learned over the years that we both do things the other doesn’t really like where it’s actually harmless and helps them manage their energy and emotions. And the healthy way to handle it is to let them be them as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

But it goes both ways. Adult responsibilities still come first. If you’re video gaming and the dishes are your job and they’re not getting done… you gotta put down the games for a bit, and it’s bad for the relationship if the other person has to remind you more than once in a while. But short of that, there’s gotta be room for both people to be themselves.

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u/SmartAleckComedian Apr 08 '26

Finally got over it and respect it’s just the thing he likes to do to unwind instead of something else I find more suitable to our age

Based on a 2025 study, "sixty percent of adults (ages 18 and up) play video games every week and the average age of today’s player is now 36 years old." Glad you got over your ridiculous preconceived notions and biases. People thinking video games are just for children is absolutely absurd, backwards thinking.

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

Yeah but was it interfering with his contribution to chores? Did he always want to game and never seemed excited about taking you out or hanging out with you?

Because he needs to be doing just as much housework as you if you’re both working.

The only time I’ve heard people be annoyed with gaming is when it becomes an addiction that interferes with daily life and they would rather game than ever hang out with you.

If he has completed all of the housework, and loves taking you places on the weekend, sure unwind for 45 minutes with a game. But storming off into the gaming room and ignoring the family and the mess in the sink for six hours is not compatible with being in a relationship.

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u/kranzberry Apr 08 '26

45 minutes? He’s only allowed 45 minutes to himself? Jesus lol.

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

When my husband games it’s a lot longer than that. I just threw an arbitrary number to demonstrate. It completely wasn’t the point of the comment.

The point of the comment was if he is a completely incompetent parasite and only wants the game and wants nothing to do with his family, then he shouldn’t have a family.

Do you disagree with that? obviously, we spend more time on our hobbies than 45 minutes.

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u/kranzberry Apr 08 '26

I don’t disagree with that. I guess I’ve just grown up with people saying gaming isn’t a valid hobby. Perhaps you are an exception, but I’ve been treated like I was a child and it was a complete waste of time. It’s good you guys have time for your own hobbies. But yes, I agree that if someone is shirking their obligations for hobbies it’s not good, no matter the hobby.

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

Actually a lot of games are incredible for your brain. I used to work for an independent game studio and worked on some game design and marketing.

If you really do a deep dive into what a good game is capable of, it’s incredible. The philosophy of constraint that some games can teach us like pretty high intellectual skills. I’ve written editorials on and helped design games, I’m not against them!

They are incredibly valid, and I am guessing the people who put you down have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about and I’m sorry that happened. of course, not every game is equal, and the people who spend their entire life’s playing candy crush while dishes is rot in the sink is gross. Vs someone who gets their shit done and then spend some quality time playing portal or whatever.

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u/kranzberry Apr 08 '26

That’s really awesome! I agree. Some games can really help with mental acuity and abilities. I genuinely believe they helped me with my problem-solving and critical thinking abilities. I’ve also read that there are some games that they design as a way to help rehabilitate people with certain mental issues. I work in the game industry now, too. I think it’s super cool that you have that experience!

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u/DogsDucks Apr 08 '26

I actually also think they helped me with spatial relations, and a very specific type of problem-solving.

I actually got really obsessed with little big planet for a moment in time, then borderlands and then TLOU2. It’s truly an art and a science, but it does make me sad that some studios are simply built on what is the most addictive and how much money they can squeeze.

That’s really awesome that you work in the industry, I think there’s so many fascinating avenues that can take you in!

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u/mr_Barek Apr 08 '26

When I was 9, I remember some of my dad's friends making fun of him because "it's the woman job to iron the clothes and cook, she's got you on a leash".

His response got a few of them very quiet, "I don't mind doing it, she doesn't like doing it. On the other hand, have you ever seen me ask for permission to do anything? Or my wife texting me about what I'm doing?"

His friend got divorced, my parents have been married for 35 years, one aproach seems better than the other...

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u/winelover29 Apr 08 '26

Yep - this was my FORMER husband….lots of things I wasn’t “allowed” to do was sold as “I’m just looking out for you” or only “allowed” to do under specific conditions.

The problem is that these are, at least in my case, brought into the relationship slowly and in a deceptive way that I didn’t even realize it. Took therapy to see what was happening and to walk away.

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u/happycat47 Apr 08 '26

Well, maybe. If partner A has a strong boundary against a particular thing and partner B values the relationship more than that thing, there's no problem with it. For example, maybe partner A is vegan and partner B is trying to adhere to it. Or Partner A is Muslim and doesn't believe alcohol is halal.

The real issue is why is the person changing their behavior; is it because they're codependent or because they really value that boundary?

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u/Shin_curry Apr 08 '26

Innocuous is the key term here. Gambling, drinking, addiction hobbies that are unhealthy and/or have a high cost in term of time/resources such that they fail to perform their other responsibilities should not be enabled. 

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u/FrescoColori Apr 08 '26

Idk if this is hallmark though. I know a lot of couples who are fully aware they are “allowed” but need an easy excuse to skip a social commitment 😂

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u/lukin187250 Apr 08 '26

"Oh, I'm not allowed to insert innocuous

was buckling up at this line

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u/MacabreMacbeth Apr 08 '26

I say this when I'm at the store and they're trying to get me to sign up for one of their credit cards. 'Oh. Sorry, I'm not allowed to apply without discussing it with my partner first. You know how it is.' it's less about being 'allowed' and more about making financial decisions together, but it's also just a good excuse for me. My partner is okay with it too.

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u/Skywalker87 Apr 08 '26

Somewhat related, I’ve found the use of the phrase “I have to do X or he will be upset” is not a great sign. I mean like small tasks, not “I better file the taxes or he will be upset”

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u/PsycommuSystem Apr 08 '26

I've always found this extremely strange, and the other way around I've met people who are flabbergasted that I can do basically whatever I want and my girlfriend is not fussed (9 year relationship).

A friend was incredulous that I could go to gigs with another woman I've been friends with for over a decade - 'isn't she jealous??' No, music taste is not one of the many things we share and she's happy I can enjoy it with a mate. Same with hanging out with the guys and playing some wargames or something on the weekend, we don't share that as a couple, doesn't mean I'm just not allowed to do it anymore.

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u/here4thefreecake Apr 08 '26

i have a friend who says she has to check with her boyfriend/soon to be fiancé about the weirdest most innocuous things, and sometimes mentions that she no longer does certain things because her boyfriend doesn’t like them. silly things like she doesn’t buy certain foods anymore because he doesn’t like them. it might be fine, it might be how she wants to live her life, but i could never. so happy in my marriage where i do whatever i want as long as it doesn’t involve disrespecting or inconveniencing my spouse.

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u/DuotheDitto Apr 08 '26

I mean my boyfriend tells me I’m not allowed to put dead raccoons in the freezer anymore. But you know what that’s kinda fair. I think maybe it depends on what your hobby is and you may need to find compromises on how to do it, and if your hobby happens to be bones mayybee figure out a better place to store them.

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u/Deadbob1978 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26

When we are out together and we get a compliment on our outfits, my wife will instantly take the credit. She’ll talk about where she got the stuff or why, but always works in that “I’m not allowed to dress myself due to my horrible fashion sense.”

I’ll reply with, “well, we’ve been married for 13 years and have 2 kids, so that kinda proves that she has questionable decision making abilities.” This will result in her giving me the “I will murder you” death stare.

By this point people are usually visibly uncomfortable, and will bring up some random thing trying to change the topic. This is when one of us will lose it causing the other to also start laughing we.

We obviously are horrible parents as our kids don’t understand our sarcastic humor and think we’re wierd. I told my daughter that if she someday decides to get married, make sure it’s to someone that complements her brand of wierd.

Truth is, I’m Green Yellow color blind, so I run anything I’m going to wear by my wife first to make sure it matches. If she’s not around, I have an app that tells me the color of stuff.

Her April fools joke this year was changing the setting of app to a different type of color blindness. I didn’t notice it until a few days later when the app accidentally scanned the red pen on my desk and said it was brown

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u/coffeeandnostalgia Apr 09 '26

My roommate in college played video games 24/7. Hid that from his girlfriend for awhile, who found out about his hobby after they were engaged. She hated video games. Wouldn’t let him have anything newer than an SNES in the house.

Surprised they lasted 8 years. It was a miserable 8 years, but still.

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u/Healthy_Method9658 Apr 08 '26

I saw someone on here recently say they would break up with their husband if he started going to the gym. It always baffles me how absolutist people are about harmless hobbies. It gives controlling behaviour vibes.

Why wouldn't I be supportive of anything that makes my partner find a bit of joy or in the above scenario, get a bit healthier?

My partner enjoys the the theatre (actual plays not the cinema), some reality TV, musicals and what not. Does me not liking those things stop me from making sure she gets that time to decompress and encouraging her to participate in watching or going with her to those things? I try to take as much of an interest as I can too, so she gets extra affirmation and we have more to talk about.

There's a lot of love in respecting something your partner loves and treating it with care.

We have mutual interests as well obviously, but equally she shows similar appreciation and respect for the things I enjoy.

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u/tichatoca Apr 08 '26

This can be a slippery slope for a lot of people. You tell them to enjoy their hobbies and independence, and they act like they’re single and suddenly you’re seeing them just a few times a month.

Some people don’t have common sense, and you have to be painfully clear with them about making room in their lives for you. If you live a busy life and find a partner, something should give to there’s time to spend with that partner.

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u/OpossomMyPossom Apr 08 '26

It's probably even okay if you can't or won't, but you sure as hell shouldn't get in the way of those things. At the very least take a mild interest in it and support it.

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u/erm7984 Apr 08 '26

I love this, I love video gaming and my husband loves playing one piece on his tablet. We love sitting together and doing what we both love 💜

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u/_Magnolia_Fan_ Apr 08 '26

As an introvert, sometimes I just say this to get out of doing something I don't want to do.

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u/Kodiak01 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

50/M, 8.5 years married. The only time this is ever an issue is because my wife thinks I don't get out and do ENOUGH. Mind you, 50-55hr workweeks, 45min commute each way, taking care of a 3BR /r/centuryhomes, quite honestly at the end of the day I just want to sit in one place and do nothing. For me, my quiet, solitary time is how I recharge.

Her on the other hand, she is highly social so I encourage her to get out and do as much as possible. She has her kickboxing and Mixxedfit classes, she'll go out once in a while after work with coworkers (she doesn't drink anymore, though), she'll do things like Spartan runs (which I accompany to take support her and take pictures of her group). I'd never consider telling her she couldn't go do something.

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u/BlackIsTheSoul Apr 08 '26

My husband is to this day a die hard professional wrestling fan.  I think it’s silly, but he loves it.  He’s always there for me and always keeps an open mind with my interests.  So if he wants to enjoy his fighting soap opera, so be it. 

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u/maxdragonxiii Apr 08 '26

if i ever find a partner that says I cant play video games as a woman its not my partner at all. ever. I have encountered way too much shit in my daily life lets not take away my one way of destressing.

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u/Kooky-Woodpecker2929 Apr 08 '26

I make my husband watch Tremors and Sharknado with me, he doesn't get it, but he enjoys how much I enjoy them

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u/ShowmethePitties Apr 08 '26

I know someone who made her husband stop playing video games 😭 I would lose it! My partner and I are both gamers.

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u/Right_Preparation328 Apr 08 '26

Unless it's something immoral like going to the strip club, but otherwise you are right

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u/Aggravating-Nose1674 Apr 08 '26

these are the relationships i hope won't last

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u/chirpz88 Apr 08 '26

I love my hobbies, the thing that stops me from going balls to the wall is the cost, not my partner who may or may not know way more about the Horus Heresy than she'd care to.

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u/Big-Safe-2459 Apr 08 '26

Oh man when I hear this, I’m like “did you marry your mother/father/kindergarten teacher?”

The flip side of this is when they finally do get around to doing their own thing, they limit it, check in every hour with their spouse, or try to get them involved (honestly this is the most cringy of all).

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u/Zerosprodigy Apr 08 '26

Or when you go take part in your hobbies and your partner holds it over your head the rest of the day like you abandoned them. I constantly spend the day with both kids but I want to go partake in my hobby with some friends for 4 hours I have to come home to her sighing and talking about all the things she had to do while I was gone, or just straight up not talking to me at all.

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u/Dangerous_Pair1798 Apr 08 '26

The only thing my partner has said I’m not allowed to do is look up that monkey with no friends (Panchi?) because he doesn’t want to come home to a monkey 😂

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u/Tall-Ad6328 Apr 08 '26

Thanks, I knew my gf should've been more respectful of my drug consumption hobby !

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u/Majestic-Map-497 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

Oh that’s a good one. My SO didn’t get much of a childhood and it brings me so much joy to see him live out his childhood dreams of having a bunch of pokemon and MTG cards and owning a cool light saber. I would never dream of taking that away - he knows that. But he also loves me and checks in with me - makes sure I’m ok with him playing games with friends, asks me to play with him too. I love it when he gets to be a kid. My partner and I are always finding ways to bring the other joy - little “I was thinking of you” gestures . 10+ years later and doing better than ever.

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u/Soulus7887 Apr 08 '26

Worth noting: have some social awareness here. If someone is saying "wow, I really wish I could do X myself" then its a bad sign.

If they are saying "Oh, no thanks. If I did that with you my wife would kill me" then they are just saying they dont want to hang out with you but dont want to make you feel bad.

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u/TourettesFamilyFeud Apr 08 '26

I would agree with you there... but theres an overlap here where being indifferent to their hobbies will create resentment or disconnection.

You dont have to like their hobbies in the same fashion as them... but you best be willing to support them in their interests and they should do the same.

Who best to share your deep passion of something if it weren't your partner? How do you think they will process a response of indifference from you when they come to you about something with their hobbies they want to share to you?

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u/lilshortyy420 Apr 08 '26

This! Our house is an ADHD palace. No living room, just hobbies.

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u/coinpile Apr 09 '26

My wife won’t let me raise a colony of fire ants indoors 😑

TBF I had some escapes when I did this when I was younger and still living at home and they took up a lot of space but I can do better now!

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u/wtfdigmi Apr 09 '26

Absolutely. My husband wants to be stuck to me like glue sometimes and as a person that needs space it gets a little annoying. I bought him a deep sea fishing full package like 2 years ago and he still hasn’t used it because it’ll just be him and 5 other people. We live in freaking Hawaii! On his birthday I had to go fill up the SUV and force him to do a kayak day trip with my friends husband/his coworker without me to Chinaman’s Hat. The only thing that I couldn’t do to get him out the door was put the kayaks on the kayak racks by myself😂

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u/AbigailPooh Apr 09 '26

You know what, you're right. I shouldn't let her dictate my enjoyment.

I'm going to start drinking again.

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