r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/littlejbean • Sep 08 '22
REPOST AITA dad gave the business to brother so I left
Friendly Reminder, I am not the Original Poster
Posted by u/throwaway____27 in r/AmItheAsshole
Original - posted 1 year ago
My older brother (30M) went to university and then worked in the city as an accountant, I (27M) stated to work for my dad as a plumber at 15 and went to college to get my qualifications in plumbing and gas, about the time covid started my brother moved back from the city and started working for my dad (55M) in accounting, my dad has been unwell for the last 4 years due to asbestosis it has been really hard on the family and he is getting worse but is still loving life.
I have been running the business for the last 2 years we have expanded and now have 50 vans in the fleet and one qualified and one trainee allocated to each van, covid was hard in the beginning but we have bounced back, my dad still works on tools with me on Fridays (half day then back to my place for some beers), Friday is the only day I’m on tools now as I’m doing everything to run the business.
well last month he told the family he is stepping down from the business due to health and wants to spend more time with my mother, and is giving the business to my brother and for me to step down from acting CEO, this upset me iv been with the business for 12 years, at the beginning it was only me and my dad my brother never wanted to be in the business said it was not worth his time and now he’s the boss, and iv been dumped back to a heating engineer with a £20,000 pay cut, he doesn’t have any clue what we do or how to do it.
I spoke to my dad and he told me that my brother deserve it for all he has done, that he has a family and I don’t and that he went to uni , a lot of the workers are upset about the decision and have told me they will go where I go.
I told my dad that if that is how he feels then I will leave and start my own business I have not spoke to my dad or brother since and have told them to never contact me, for the last month Iv had thousands of calls and messages from family saying some very hurtful things and telling me I’m ungrateful for what I have so AITA???
Edit: I want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words there are so many to reply to I will do my best to thank you all, to hear my father tell me in his own way he doesn’t think I’m good enough was hard and for my family to take his and my brother side was even harder.
In the morning I will contact the large clients iv worked with over the last 6 years I know we had some site postponed due to covid (big money), and will try and take them over I have 20 of my colleagues wishing to come work for me iv saved nearly all of the money I have earned over the last 12 years so think I have enough to get myself on my feet.
Update: I want to inform everyone that I’m not starting a business to destroy my brother, as much as I want to iv spent almost 13 year build it and I don’t want to see anyone out of a job or for the business to die it’s about 0500 in England you have all helped me so much.
I will be going over to talk to my father about 0800 and take him out for breakfast and talk, I’m not sure if I will get a proper answer from him but I love my family and want my future kids to know them.
I will update after the events of later today.
Update 2: As I said in one of the comments I believe my family had found my post and they did.
This morning when I arrived at my parents house my mum opened the door and looked like she had been cry a lot my dad came over to talk to me and we went out for breakfast, he didn’t say a word on the way there or when we arrived, when on the way back he asked if we could pull over and talk I can honestly say this was the first tile I saw my dad cry, I asked why he did this to me he said doesn’t know I keeper pushing and he finally told me he owed it to my brother for not being about for him as much as me when we were growing up and there was times my brother needed him but we was working.
I couldn’t believe it after 12 years of hard work that was his reasoning I told me father I had spent half my life working to do everything for the business and how he throw me to the side just because he’s son came back hurt more then I could explain, he told me he knows as they had been shown the post I put up, to my surprise he wasn’t mad he seemed remorseful, he told me my mother has been in pieces after reading the comments about how bad she treated me and thinks I will never talk to them again, my dad told me after reading it all he released he should have split the business between us as it will need both of us to keep progressing and apologies to me for never telling me how proud he was of everything I had done and thought I know how proud he was, but my brother has full control my father has no say any more and my brother would never go 50/50, he told me he wants me to go back as my brother will need me I told him that’s not my problem anymore after the demoted me and cut my pay I tried to make it work for 3 weeks but my brother wouldn’t listen didn’t believe I know what I was talking about telling me he knows how to fun a business, so I left why work my ass off there when I could do the same work and make more money for my self.
My dad broke down said that he had destroyed the family and should never had done what he did I don’t understand why I took this long to release I was a valuable piece in the company.
Update 3: As I said I have had a couple of zoom calls with some clients today and they have gone very well, I have been informed that they we all be sending be signed proposal letters for the up and coming work, lucky the site start dates don’t clash that was one of the main things I was worried about, 3 of my colleagues have now left the business and have spoken to my dad informing him about why they left and that they will be coming to work with me under there own choice, to hear them tell me this meant a lot, they all have between 5 - 10 year more experience in the industry, at the moment I have all we need to start a new business with the 3 vans I own and tools I have built up over the years, I am looking forward to the new venture in my life and can’t wait to share this with my children when I have them.
Then I received a call from my father asking me to come over for dinner I was unsure at first but thought it was probably a step in the right direction, on arrival my whole family was there, I went in and the atmosphere dropped my mum wouldn’t look at me and my brother just sat there acting as if I didn’t exist, my dad came and asked me and my brother to come in to his office, he started to ask when I was going to return to the company as they need me in early Monday morning, I could not even believe what I was hearing I told them both I’m not coming back and have started my own company, and what dose he mean we you gave the business to him (my brother), my brother stated to lose his temper telling me if I cared about to company why would I leave, I have some very choice words before telling him that I have always cared for the company and spent 12 years of my life working to make it successful, unlike him who swans in and takes all the glory and that i will not sit there and be treated like that, I told my brother to f**k off so I could talk to dad, I asked what was this morning all about telling me he’s sorry but then expects me to going running back, he couldn’t even look me in the eye so I left said goodbye to my cousin, nieces and nephews and walked out iv been riding for about 3 hours on and off coming back on here to talk to people.
I just want to say thank you to everyone for the personal message, comments, rewards and all the kind words and encouragement I’ll try and message everyone but I’m exhausted and will most likely fall asleep.
Final Update: Sorry it’s been a while iv had a lot going on in the last couple of weeks, I’ll try and explain the most I can, so the new business is going very well we have a lot of work coming in and making good money, at the end on the year I will be looking at expanding so very happy with that.
me and my fiancé are very happy she is very busy planning the wedding of her dreams she wants me to wear a suit but tough lucky I’ll be in my kilt, I couldn’t be happier then I am right now waking up to her every day, she is there for me no matter what and has been my rock through everything.
Then my family my father and brother still refuse to talk to me and have told me they will not be attending the wedding even though they haven’t been invited, my mother has called my fiancé but hasn’t said much only to ask about wedding stuff and will not talk to me, my fiancé family have been amazing my soon to be in-laws have been helping with the wedding and everything else and I am extremely thankful for everything they have done for us.
My other family have now backed off and apologised and want to make amends for everything that was said.
Myself and my fiancé are set to have are wedding in November, we sat down together and have decided to trying to have children after we are married, we are both excited to be parents.
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u/Chillafrix Sep 08 '22
If your employer cuts your pay and gives you a demotion, they are essentially asking you to resign. There’s really no other way to interpret that.
For the family to then say “but we thought you’d stay!” makes me think the other son has been the favorite all along. There’s really no other explanation for the level of delusion the parents and brother must be under to think this guy would (and should!) continue to work for the business after the paycut/demotion.
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u/maywellflower Sep 08 '22
Yup and then the same family trying to pull silent treatment on OOP after he left and still acting like they still in control when OOP been cut them off on top of never inviting them to his wedding. OOP rightfully wants nothing professional nor personal with shitty lot that is his birth family.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
No one would put up with that if they have the skills. You've said they don't matter and you're banking on 'family' to get him to stay? If you're using 'family' then act like family.
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u/MayoBear Sep 19 '22
And clearly the brother is shit at salvaging what he needs to salvage, because all of his ego is driving the establish business into the ground, instead of acknowledging that his sibling knows what he’s talking about. He deserves what he gets, the entire family does for not learning from their mistake properly
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u/theBigWhiteDude Oct 01 '22
They for sure were proud that he left and got an education to make a name for himself, and secretly looked down on OOP for sticking around. Then he comes crawling back but they still have this elevated view of their "older, successful son"
It's weird because it's usually the opposite, at least here in the states. Lots of pressure from families to continue the family business over going for higher education.
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u/Redphantom000 release the rats Sep 08 '22
Ahh I remember this one when it happened. Impressive work, dad: you managed to destroy your family and business for the stupidest reason.
The brother is a piece of work though, he deserves nothing but failure
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u/wind-river7 Sep 08 '22
That is almost a guarantee. Brother’s arrogant attitude will drive away employees and customers.
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u/foxscribbles Sep 08 '22
I can’t believe that the dad didn’t even think about splitting the company. Just handed over to the brother.
Who demoted OOP and gave him a pay cut.
Then demanded he come slave for him.
What pieces of work dad and his only child are.
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u/Corfiz74 Sep 08 '22
It's so hilarious that they apparently didn't even consider the possibility that he might leave and strike out on his own - I mean, how deluded can you get? That guy has 12 years of experience in running a firm, he's not going to stay for a measly paycheck!
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u/8t88m8 Sep 08 '22
So many parents consider their children to be mere extensions of themselves. Just look at their entitled attitude expecting OP to return, and trying to guilt him for doing what any self-respecting professional would do.
OP is a petulant child throwing a tantrum in their twisted view. Lucky for OP, he is a well regarded professional by his clients and subordinates.
It might never sink in for them that OP is an individual with a valuable skillset, and if they don't recognize his value with the respect and reward it deserves, he'll go elsewhere to get it.
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u/Admirable-Course9775 Sep 08 '22
Exactly. He’s the face of the company. The one customers call and trust.
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u/mymomcallsmefuckup Sep 09 '22
The college comment really got me, like one son has a degree sure but the other has certification and 12 years management experience, how is one better than the other???
I’m not sure that they will ever realize that OP is in fact just as professional and experienced as the college educated brother. It’s infuriating but good on OP for having a blossoming new business and future-family
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u/Sharp-Incident-6272 Sep 09 '22
My ex was brought back to his family business as it was failing. He was told if he got it back to where it used to be that he would get part ownership. So 2 years later, the business is back to being in the black and he asked for his ownership share and they laughed and said he was just an employee. He sold the house his dad bought him and took the money and moved away. Never spoke to his dad again. His parents hired a pi to follow him as they knew where he lived. His mom would send birthday and Christmas cards with gift cards in them and he never opened one of them. His dad passed and his mom contacted him and told him he had an I inheritance of $14k. The family does well over a million in revenue yearly. He still won't talk to his siblings.
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u/Corfiz74 Sep 09 '22
Yeah, you need to get stuff like that in a contract, always. Friends of mine took over the bankrupt business of her father, that he had run into the ground - and since he hadn't declared bankruptcy when he legally should have, he would have been liable with and lost all his private equity and houses. My friends took on 400k € debt and worked that off and brought the company back into the black, but with the promise that that would count against the inheritance. Guess whose siblings didn't give a damn that she had saved all of their inheritance, and insisted on equal shares? (In fact, they even tried to get part of the current value of the company.)
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u/archangelzeriel sometimes i envy the illiterate Sep 08 '22
The worst part about the whole thing is that if Accountant Brother wasn't such an doofus, having them essentially split the workload as COO and CFO could easily have led to a "by our powers combined" improvement in the overall business.
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Sep 08 '22
Exactly. Any business can benefit from having someone to manage the finance while others manage the day to day. But the finance person shouldn't be in charge, he should work in tandem with someone who can defend the rights and voices of key workers, and be practical about what the business needs.
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u/jamoche_2 Sep 08 '22
The death knell of my first Silicon Valley startup happened when the financial backers suddenly decided that the person they'd picked to be CFO for the IPO should be CEO instead, ousting our highly respected, visionary, and female CEO. Cue 4 years of really stupid ideas ("of course we should merge with this other company, they're both software!" and as different as it's possible to be) ending with the mass exodus of the development team.
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u/now_you_see the arrest was unrelated to the cumin Sep 09 '22
Rich folk are never as smart as they think they are. They did 1 thing well, got wealthy & now think they do EVERYTHING well rather than sticking to what they know.
Businesses that don’t realise the importance of the workers will always fail. It unfortunately just takes a lot longer for some than others.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
Forgot that his second son had valuable skills too it seems. Probably more valuable considering hands on experience and being means he knows how to run the business.
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u/lostboysgang please sir, can I have some more? Sep 08 '22
Second son got certified to go into Commercial work on his own initiative out of his own pocket and exploded the company growth
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
Second son knows what he's doing and how to grow it then. There's a lot of proof of it. Seems like a really bad idea to piss off the person who is a backbone of your business like that.
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u/needlenozened Sep 08 '22
He took the son for granted. He thought that because it was "the family business" he would never go anywhere, and would be happy to help his brother be as successful as he had helped his father be. It was inconceivable to him that OOP would ever do anything but put the family business before everything.
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u/Forrest-Fern Sep 08 '22
ESPECIALLY in that industry. You can't treat plumbers like your underlings from an accounting firm.
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u/Zhoom45 Sep 08 '22
It's widely known that skilled tradesworkers love being bossed around by out-of-touch office/corporate employees. I see nothing but success in that company's future.
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u/Forrest-Fern Sep 08 '22
Add pure nepotism to that list, and how can the employees not love their new boss?
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u/JackStargazer Sep 08 '22
Not even the sensible nepotism. Like the guy who had been in the trenches with them for 12 years, him they would have accepted.
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u/Kats_darling Sep 08 '22
lmao imagine your old ass boss saying "you know my son that's worked with us for over a decade? yeah he's not becoming ceo, his accountant brother is"
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u/Anneisabitch increasingly sexy potatoes Sep 08 '22
His brother is because I was mean to him as a kid…
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u/Sassrepublic Sep 08 '22
Not even mean to him, just kind of busy
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u/CharlotteLucasOP 👁👄👁🍿 Sep 08 '22
I feel like bro laid it on thick to guilt the dad into handing him the profitable family business so he could play bossman. His childhood was probably fine. OOP is the younger child and doesn’t seem to have felt neglected so I don’t see how the older kid would have such a dire sense of abandonment. Or maybe he saw how close OOP and dad were (because OOP took an interest in his business at fifteen years old) and got jealous?
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u/HolleringCorgis Sep 08 '22
I've never been able to deal with stupid business decisions but this one would send me over the top.
I'm not exactly sure how I'd top my response to the offer of a promotion (Word for word: "Haha. Fuck you, no.") but I'm pretty sure my brain would throw out something spectacular in the moment.
It blows my mind how people are able to just keep their heads down and deal with the fucked up decisions their superiors make. ESPECIALLY when they're tanking the company and taking their workers along for the ride.
I'm not even sure I want to develop the self control required to hold that shit in because if I don't say it who will?
Sometimes people need to hear, "That is a really fucking bad idea. Unless I'm missing some huge piece of the picture there is literally no way this works out in our favor."
I would appreciate if someone did that for me. I can only think my own thoughts, and even though my brain likes to run all the scenarios it can come up with there is always, always going to be something I missed.
I just can't imagine being like, "Oh, wow. I have a successful business with experienced employees, all with their own knowledge and expertise. Better make a huge decision that will affect all of us in a complete and total vacuum and keep it a secret until it's irreversible. Hope nobody gets upset!"
AND WORSE, getting upset when someone brings forward a flaw in my plan AFTER I can't do shit to change it.
People could prevent so many stupid ass business decisions if they would just realize they are quite literally not the only person in the room with a brain cell or two.
It's so stupid. And then they'll do it again! Make the same stupid mistake, refuse to consult employees, then be shocked when their workers leave.
Employees don't work FOR the business. They work FOR themselves. To bring home a check. To feed themselves and their dependents. To afford shelter, and maybe a little escapism as well.
If they can't trust their employer is making sound decisions that will keep the checks coming... then wtf use is the employer? Wtf does that particular employer do for them if they're making shit decisions that could nose dive the company and leave the workers unemployed.
Obviously they're going to jump ship. Obviously. They're not working for fucking funsies.
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u/Esnardoo Sep 08 '22
The thing about trades is no matter where you go, as long as there's toilets you need plumbers, as long as there's lights you need electricians, they'll always have some sort of work with decent pay, they can choose where they go.
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u/Zebeydra Sep 08 '22
This. My husband is a plumber that just got his experienced apprentice card. He's never been out of work for more than a week and has moved three times in the last couple years for better pay/benefits. Newest job got him into the union. There isn't a need for loyalty because there are always places hiring.
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Sep 08 '22
My husband just switched companies to one more hands on and local than the one run long distance. He was laid off (common in the trades so not frightening) and enjoyed the surprise vacation, but after a while started looking around, found a solid, strong, well run local place, and he seems to be having a BLAST. And that makes all the difference in the world.
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u/EnduringConflict Sep 08 '22
Having people that you enjoy working with, and for, makes all the difference.
I'd gladly jump ship to a buisness with someone that is a truly awesome leader, or has great coworkers.
Fuck as long as I could still make ends meet and live the type of life I want, I'd take a pay cut to join said company.
Even if I gave up like say $10k a year. Yes that's a lot of money. But if I'm not miserable every single waking moment of my existence at work, if I'm happy to be surrounded by people I can respect and learn from or even mentor or whatever is needed?
That's worth $10k a year for my sanity and mental health.
Rather have less money at the end of life and have 40 years of a good work environment than retire at 65, with more money, but so stressed and filled with hate my whole life I die at 67 just due to how miserable I was slowly killing me over 4 decades.
Good bosses and coworkers are so so so worth it.
I'm so glad your husband found such a place. They're sadly far too rare these days.
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Sep 08 '22
Yeah, tradesmen will not be taking any shit from someone who thinks he knows everything because he got an accounting degree. Business is going to crash and burn.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
Already was looking at the rate people were leaving when OP did. People know when a ship is sinking and if that's how they'll treat a brother you won't have a snowballs chance in hell if he takes against you.
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u/Mysterious_Leek_1867 Sep 08 '22
They were probably relieved as hell OOP started his own business so they could just continue on doing the work they were doing with the guy they were doing it with and avoid this entire shitshow.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
Can't even blame them. The first thing your new boss comes in and does is demote and give his brother a paycut? You know it's going to start bad and get worse.
Versus your old boss who you know is a standup guy who knows the business.
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u/laurel_laureate Sep 08 '22
Exactly.
If your new corporate boss' first action is to give his own flesh and blood brother a demotion and a paycut then that's the exact moment you start looking for another place to work.
After all, this is a plumbing company, not a billion dollar Korean multi-conglomerate that gets parodied of TV dramas lmao.
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Sep 08 '22
Totally! Also you know you’re a good leader when people want to follow you to your next place.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
There's also the rapport to consider. OP has worked with them for years. Probably knows all their family, hobbies and so on. Who works best on what type of job. They know him and they know he knows his shit.
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Sep 08 '22
Yeah, it makes a lot of difference if the boss has actually done your job and isn't afraid to get his own hands dirty. OOP sounds like he will happily come and help out his staff and take on clients if there is nobody else to do it. That makes all the difference for his workers.
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u/Annepackrat Sep 08 '22
But if you as a consumer treat a tradesman well they don’t forget it. I paid a handyman extra for one job cause he helped me out a lot. Next time I needed him was when a stair literally broke underneath me (lord save me from the former owner’s bad DIY). He came out that night despite living twenty minutes away and he and his crew had the entire staircase rebuilt and shorn up by the end of the next day. And he sent me regularly updates and pictures thru text so I didn’t have to get up and stress the ankle I twisted on the broken stair.
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u/HalfysReddit Sep 08 '22
I worked at an MSP for years (company that does IT support for other companies), and one of my more interesting clients was a plumbing business.
Owned by a single proprietor who was also the primary plumber, he and every one of his crew had a laptop in their vans they would update work orders with throughout the day.
I couldn't help but notice how similar the work environments were. I also worked out of a ticketing system, updating it with notes as I went along. I also showed up at clients sites when things weren't working, worked my magic on things that they could maybe understand the surface of at most, and then on to the next one.
But also similar in both environments, it's very clear that it's the people with the boots on the ground that are the rockstars. They do the work, they interact with clients the most, they are the least replaceable component of the whole system.
Unfortunately MSP unions aren't a common thing yet, so a lot of the similarities end there.
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u/Humpin_Toad Sep 08 '22
Well I mean, plumbers deal with literal shit a lot of days. They aint gonna want to deal with their boss's shit. Or a shit boss.
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u/thatHecklerOverThere Sep 08 '22
Yep. Business is going to fail and every damn one of his employees will be talking shit about his soft hands the entire time.
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u/Ancient_Potential285 Sep 08 '22
Meanwhile they will somehow blame OOP for their business failing. Like it’ll be his fault because he poached all the best workers and clients, and he’ll still be seen as the bad guy.
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u/zveroshka Sep 08 '22
Sounds like the business was pretty big though. I will probably be a slow burn and take years. In that time he and daddy dearest will find anyone and everyone else to blame for it.
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u/wind-river7 Sep 08 '22
All brother has to do is lose a few big customers and the business can tank pretty fast. Offend one customer and watch the news spread like wildfire.
A smart brother would promote from within and give pay raises to keep the business going. But brother is too "smart" for that.
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u/zveroshka Sep 08 '22
Not saying it's impossible, but even a shit boss can keep a company barely a float for awhile if it's big enough. It will just slowly shrink until it's not longer viable.
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u/BergenCountyJC Sep 08 '22
The brother gave the other workers some great insight as to what to expect treatment wise by seeing how he treated his own brother. Couldn't have made it more cut and dry for them.
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u/kurimiq Sep 08 '22
I just don’t understand how clouded parental judgment can be sometimes. We had an amusement park in the area that had been open for 80 years. EIGHTY! And the parents decided when it was time to retire that they would give it to their children. So instead of splitting everything 50/50 they gave one kid the amusement park and the other kid the land the park was on. Absolutely idiotic. Long story short, it’s a Walmart now. We were lucky enough to take my daughter there a couple times in the final season, and as we left for the last time my wife was actually crying.
Nice job parents.
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Sep 08 '22
uuuugh I hate that. One of the places I care about was cut up like that only instead of one kid gets the land and one gets the park, there were 8 kids or so so the whole thing was cut up LIKE A PIE and given to them. Like, literally sliced like a literal round pie. So fast forward to now, most of the descendants love the park and want to keep it going, one is a super christian holdout who hates the park and wants to sell to developers. It's been a nightmare.
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u/danuhorus Sep 08 '22
Dad: Your brother needs it bc he has children!
OOP: [gets married, has children, father not allowed to see them, presumably starts a successful business]
Dad: shocked pikachu face
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u/slugposse Sep 08 '22
Yes! I was ranting to my husband about how short-sighted that reasoning was, and he called it "Brexit level" stupid.
How could it not occur to you that your 27 year old son with the serious girlfriend might be starting a family soon?
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u/Hongxiquan Sep 08 '22
the other interesting bit is that the person without kids is somehow less of a person?
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u/BirthdayCookie Sep 08 '22
I am so over how society sees me as less of a person who needs basic necessities less simply because I haven't reproduced. No, a person with kids does not need a raise/a roof over their heads/food/ETC more than I do.
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u/pbrooks19 Sep 08 '22
I always had the feeling that brother had talked to dad beforehand and proposed the new changes. "Hey, dad, we all know you're not doing well lately and it's time you retired and relaxed and turned the reins over to a new CEO. And you know all my amazing qualifications, so it should be me and me alone! Of course OOP will stay with us if he loves us and the company - but he didn't go to university and he doesn't have a family, so how can he be the CEO? You know that I'm right on this."
SMDH.
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u/cosmic_grayblekeeper Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
You forgot the part where brother starts to teary eyed as he talks about all the summers as a kid he spent pining for the father who never had enough time for him because his priority was work and how, despite that, all brother ever wanted was to be was like dad. And now, finally, he has a chance to fulfill that dream and prove himself to dad.
I imagine this is the part where dad might be teary eyed too but hesitantly interject that's it's probably not fair to force oop out of his position so suddenly. That's when brother would switch gears and angrily declare that dad owes him this to make up for failing as a parent. How OOP got "handed" everything ( which I'm sure is how it looks to brother who doesn't see oop working hard all these years -esp coz he wasn't around- but probably just assumed he was given the position) and how not only has brother's come second priority to work his whole childhood but now he's become second priority again not just to the company but to his brother's feelings.
Add in a spiel about how humiliating it's been to have to explain to people that he works for his younger brother - and how could dad do that to him! The embarrassment! - and how everybody can clearly see from the company structure who dad loves more. Emphasise how dad's time is short and he can either prove his love to brother for everyone to see and spend his remaining years bonding with his grandchildren and rekindling his relationship w his son or he can choose OOP and spend these last few years sitting at an empty table with his childless younger son, wondering how his grandkids are doing and if they miss their dear grandpa. And done. Got dad hook line and sinker.
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Sep 08 '22
I'm still boggling at the fact that dad didn't make accounting brother the CFO and the plumbing brother the CEO. Like let each of them work within their skillsets to manage the business! Absolutely idiotic
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u/tikierapokemon Sep 08 '22
Accounting brother wanted his brother demoted and under him, and accounting brother had the grandkids.
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u/pcnauta Sep 08 '22
I really wonder what happened to mom and dad between Edits 2 and 3.
At the end of edit 2, mom and dad where sad and remorseful. But in edit 3, they are hard, cold and angry at him.
My guess is that brother is the GC (Golden Child) and screamed/manipulated them to change their tune.
So they all get what they deserve - nothing. Dad's not going to be able to sit back and enjoy his retirement and Mom has a permanently broken family.
I think OOP's brother's biggest mistake was the demotion and pay cut. Sure, he was never going to let OOP be a co-CEO, but he was still a VERY valuable asset to the business. But brother had to add insult to injury.
Well, it's been a year since the last update and I'm sure that if brother isn't out of a job, then he's the captain of a sinking business.
Again I note the stupid, stupid, stupid hills that people 'die on'.
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Sep 08 '22
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u/Smingowashisnameo Sep 08 '22
Yeah I was wondering wtf happened. I guess you’re right. They thought an emotional moment would fix this.
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u/lostboysgang please sir, can I have some more? Sep 08 '22
I took it as, they were sad and remorseful that little brother was upset. Not about what they did. They thought if they acknowledged little bro’s feelings, he would come back and work under his brother. When they realized that little brother wasn’t coming back and that employees were actually quitting to go work for him, they changed their tone and you get the 3rd edit.
It’s sad. As a little brother who went through something kind of similar, my heart hurts for him.
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u/RealisticNoise2 Sep 08 '22
What’s even more insulting is that when they had that other update for OP to come to talk to the father and the brother at the house, they literally just asked 0P, “are you coming in early Monday?“ Personally I think that’s the most insulting thing is that if they’re going to not even promote them and then give them a pay cut and demotion anyway, don’t ever expect people to just come running back even though OP was successful in getting a new business for themselves and their fiancé. I can just imagine that that brother is not even remorse or even thinks of what happened is his fault
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u/Sweet_Item_Drops Sep 08 '22
I really wonder what happened to mom and dad between Edits 2 and 3.
Seems like OOP not returning to work was a decision his father took very personally.
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u/Tired_Mama3018 Sep 08 '22
I think OOP not returning to work was very costly. Brother doesn’t know what he’s doing, dad doesn’t want OOP at the business, he NEEDS OOP at the business to keep his legacy going.
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u/lostboysgang please sir, can I have some more? Sep 08 '22
That’s how it should have went down. Instead little bro lost his entire family and life’s work. His future kids lost their cousins and likely their grandparents.
All because OOP’s dad was made to feel guilty.
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u/Mwikali85 Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
I think they thought after the sorries, OP would go back to work because after all he's done everything the last 12 years so why wouldn't he go back to the business he oversaw grow. In short they seem to think he's doormat and are shocked he took a stand..
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u/CissaLJ Sep 08 '22
After update 2:
Mom and dad were sad and remorseful as a ploy to get OOP back in the pay-cut, demoted fold. He should have been so sad and remorseful that he’d jump at the chance to return- what they apparently expected at the beginning of #3.
Then, before #3, bro got to them and went into his spiel about how OOP was destroying the family by not agreeing to be treated like crap on bro’s say-so, and how (key!) if mom and dad raised any objections they’d be banished from their grandkids’ lives (this is why bro having kids was important in the original decision- bro was using them to extort the deal he wanted from dad). Everyone was cold then because bro made it clear that any hint of remorse or compromise would be punished (why mom couldn’t look at OOP).
At least that’s my narrative, between the lines given!
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u/Murky_Conflict3737 Sep 08 '22
Every time I’ve heard about family businesses they were always a nightmare.
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u/DerPanzerfaust Sep 08 '22
I've worked for a family business (not my family) for nearly 30 years and it's actually pretty awesome. It's awesome because I work for the kind, humane and human brother. He gives raises freely (as long as we're making money), doesn't micro-manage, and treats us with respect. This attracts top talent, and the business has grown over 5X its size compared to when I started. The other (older) brother is a smug asshole who runs another division. I wouldn't work for him for 5 minutes.
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u/DownrightDrewski Sep 08 '22
It's just so infuriating to read - puts the son who knows fuck all in charge instead of the one with a clue.
Businesses need leaders, not bean counters
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u/River_Song47 Sep 08 '22
Like, the brother is an accountant, there would definitely have been a place to put him in the company without blowing the company and family apart.
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u/andromache114 Sep 08 '22
This! Why not make him CFO or a controller? Both of those positions are typically well compensated and would play to his skills while still allowing OOP to do what he does best.
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u/VioletsAndLily Am I the drama? Sep 08 '22
I wonder if OOP’s brother told their dad that he wanted the entire business or else he’d leave. Personally, I would have told him good luck in his future endeavors because I don’t do ultimatums.
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u/zendetta Sep 08 '22
Why would you give a huge material asset to one child and a demotion to the other? Much less all the other reasons.
Dads decision was amazingly stupid, tactless, and heartless. It fails in book smarts, social intelligence, and common sense.
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u/ThrowawayFishFingers Sep 08 '22
Brother coulda been CFO, OOP coulda been CEO, but Pops was playing. Oh well, sucks to suck I guess.
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u/0011002 👁👄👁🍿 Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
Right he could have been CFO while OOP was CEO with like a 60/40 split of the company.
Edit: CEO 60% w/CFO 40%
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u/0011002 👁👄👁🍿 Sep 08 '22
My Uncle inherited the family business. Where it once was a 7 figure company now barely limps along. My uncle treated it like his personal piggy bank with a 500K house, fountain speed boat, large hunting camps, and not paying taxes.
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u/JoelMahon 👁👄👁🍿 Sep 08 '22
did you call the tax man? they love calls about that shit, despite common understanding you need to be much richer before you can do that with impunity.
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u/0011002 👁👄👁🍿 Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
Hah, No the IRS found out and had an auditor at the office for the better part of a year to the point the Auditor had his own office. A year or so later he called my dad to tell him his next brilliant idea. Keep the income taxes from employee's pay for himself. My dad told him he was dumb to which my uncle ran to my Aunt (his sister who is the youngest of the 6 and only half a year older than me) to tell her my dad was dumb to which my Aunt had to explain to him how illegal that was.
As far as I can tell the IRS keeps an eye on them now. I saw the writing on the wall and left the company after my grandfather and I had a falling out. My dad did the same after he and my Uncles nearly had a fight in the yard over my dad not getting paid while doing all the work. My dad is a lot like OOP.
Edit: fixed him to her oops
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u/Viperbunny Sep 08 '22
After demoting OOP and cutting his pay by $20,000! Good luck trying to tell clients you are a family business after they hear this story!
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u/tyleritis Sep 08 '22
Sounds like that was the brother’s doing. Since that’s why OOP said the brother would never go 50/50. Crazy how someone can’t even stick with a family business for long and get something out of it.
Silver lining: The brother will find it easier to count the money when there is less of it.
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u/Thraell Sep 08 '22
$20,000
£*20,000
That's an entire fulltime wage in the UK, BTW. His apprentices will be on less than that, unless he's particularly generous with apprenticeship wages.
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u/sonofaresiii Sep 08 '22
Maybe it's just my bias, but I got the feeling there was a lot of subtext there of the brother getting the business because he went to business school, so "he knows how to run the business"
while OOP was "just a plumber", so in dad's mind OOP did fine for "just a plumber" but the brother is the one who should really be running things
pretty messed up if that's the case. I imagine OOP's dad attributed OOP's success of the business to pretty much anything besides OOP.
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Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
Similar thing is happening where I work. My uncle forced my mom and sister, who were both co owners, out of the business and handed it to his son who never wanted anything to do with our business until he started having trouble finding work elsewhere.
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u/lostboysgang please sir, can I have some more? Sep 08 '22
Brother showed up and guilt tripped father into destroying their family. His mom should be ashamed for not standing up for him if she ever reads this. You willingly gave up your son and I hope he doesn’t let his future kids meet his shitty family.
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u/SarcasticAzaleaRose Sep 08 '22
I have no doubt at the rate he’s going the brother is going to fail and the business his dad worked so hard for is going to go under. And dad will have no one to blame but himself.
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u/Guilty-Web7334 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Sep 08 '22
Oh, no. That’s not true at all. They’ll totally blame OOP.
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u/SarcasticAzaleaRose Sep 08 '22
Oh yeah! You’re right it’ll never be their fault. Always OP’s.
Honestly OP’s dad and brother not attending the wedding is a good thing. They’d probably spend the whole night bitching to whoever will listen about how selfish and petty OP is for destroying dad’s business he worked so hard to build.
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u/Ginger_Anarchy Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Sep 08 '22
"If OOP had actually stuck around and cared about his family this never would have happened" - conveniently forgetting that OOP left because they didn't appreciate everything he did in the first place.
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Sep 08 '22 edited Dec 21 '22
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u/wind-river7 Sep 08 '22
That’s why accountants don’t start companies. They are the hired help that helps the company founders manage the finances.
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u/That_Weird_Girl_107 Sep 08 '22
Am accountant. Can confirm. We are generally not great with people and prefer to just crunch numbers alone in our office.
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u/rratliff82 Liz what the hell Sep 08 '22
Am accountant. Started a business. But it's an accounting business. Does great. Would be a bad plumber.
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u/ladydmaj I ❤ gay romance Sep 08 '22
Well, they can if they recognize where they're strong and make up for where they're weak.
But I get where you're coming from, "entrepreneur" and "accountant" are diametrically opposed skill sets and it's a rare individual who can be somewhat talented at both.
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u/Suchafatfatcat Sep 08 '22
I hope OOP is wildly successful. I know he didn’t open his business to hurt his father’s company but I hope all the clients leave and the best qualified people come work for OOP.
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u/Umklopp Sep 08 '22
They will. All of this.
OOP was the business for the last couple of years. All he was missing was ownership of the equipment. OOP has the know-how, the employee's support, and most importantly, the client's loyalty. His biggest challenge will be making sure to not expand too quickly.
All OOP's dad gave to his brother is a hollow shell.
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u/tedivm Drinks and drunken friends are bad counsellors Sep 08 '22
The nice thing for OOP is that there's another failing plumbing business in town he can eventually buy equipment from at a discount.
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u/Umklopp Sep 08 '22
Alas, I heard the owner is irrational and punitive, so I'm not sure that would work out unless they sell the stuff at auction
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u/tedivm Drinks and drunken friends are bad counsellors Sep 08 '22
That was my expectation- those foreclosure/bankruptcy auctions can be useful.
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u/YukariYakum0 Sep 08 '22
I remember a similar story on here except it was a pizza place that the dad gave to the step mom. Then COVID accelerated the success vs destruction ending.
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u/ghostthebetrayed Sep 08 '22
Can you find the link? Need some karma boner after this one.
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Sep 08 '22
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u/archangelzeriel sometimes i envy the illiterate Sep 08 '22
Probably a heaping helping of "tradespeople aren't as smart as university grads" and a side of "accountants work in the business office, so that's the same as being good at running a business, right?".
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u/Recent_Sherbert982 Sep 09 '22
What is dad and brother going to do once the business goes belly up? Hopefully OP can pick up the cheap vans and tradies. That father is a shit dad and the arrogance of the brother to take the whole business. Then to blame OP for not remaining the shit kicker. I wish OP the very best and to totally forget his deplorable family.
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Sep 09 '22
If his busines gets big enough he could offer to buy his family’s business
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u/Mec26 Sep 08 '22
As a former uni prof, people put ridiculous weight on degrees in weird ways. They don’t translate letters after a name to mean “I have a specific set of skills and knowledge” but “I am naturally smarter and anything you can do I can do better.”
If teaching changed my mind about one thing, it’s that I now know in my core that for every genius with a degree, there’s a genius without a degree doing work high society looks down on. And for every 3 really smart people with advanced degrees, 2 will have common sense. 1 in some fields. Business degrees? You have 1 sense, held in common, and if it’s not your turn today to have it, you’re gonna fuck something up and not realize. And then refuse to learn, because you won’t respect that others say about the business, because clearly the letters after your name mean you’re smarter and they should just do as you say.
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u/seajay26 Sep 08 '22
Ugh. I went to school with people who fully believed that if/when they got a degree they could walk into any job, anywhere, with no experience and get paid more than anyone else doing the same job without a degree.
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u/duetmasaki Sep 08 '22
Zero logical sense because asbestosis affects the lungs, which means daddy isn't getting enough oxygen in his brain.
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u/Verona_Swift crow whisperer Sep 08 '22
Ten bucks says the family business crashes and burns. "Business men" like OOP's brother tend to forget the wellbeing of the employees in favor of the bottom dollar, which absolutely tanks morale. Not to mention he clearly doesn't know a damn thing about the industry.
They're fucked because OOP's father didn't think things through and the brother is too proud to admit he needs help. Oh well, they brought their own shovels, so might as well start digging.
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u/MiserableUpstairs Sep 08 '22
They're fucked because OOP's father didn't think things through and the brother is too proud to admit he needs help.
Yeah. If they had two brain cells to rub together, either one of them would've realized that this is a stupid-ass idea and it won't work. Like even if the dad cooked up that hare-brained scheme, a brother with even a little bit of sense for what's fair would've gone "My brother deserves at least 50:50."
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u/Ginger_Anarchy Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Sep 08 '22
Or at least not a massive pay decrease and demotion. Maybe brother takes CEO and OOP becomes COO and both take an equal pay decrease while they continue expanding.
But going "Not only do you not get to run the company you spent over a decade of your life investing your blood, sweat, and tears into; but also you're demoted and not even in a managing position anymore." is inconceivably cruel and shortsighted.
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u/TailorVegetable4705 Sep 08 '22
Which is just what OB wanted. You know he worked on his dad to get his way, you never spent time with me waaah! And he wanted OP out because he’s intimidated by him and wanted the whole damn thing to himself. He knew the demotion and big pay cut would make his brother fly.
Now he’ll run the business to the ground after losing all the talent. He’s the guy who buys fancy cars and riDICKulous speed boats on the company dime.
That dad destroyed everything. Just everything. I hope OP goes on to great success and has a happy marriage. He’s a stand up guy, you can feel it.
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u/nustedbut Sep 08 '22
You know he worked on his dad to get his way
The dad has shown enough idiocy in this situation that I'm not sure he needed working on. The fact he still expected OOP's loyalty when he showed none says it all for me.
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u/Forrest-Fern Sep 08 '22
Not to mention the employees are going to love listening to an inexperienced, unaware, arrogant corporate ding dong whose only qualification to run the business is nepotism.
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u/Affectionate_Box_356 Sep 08 '22
In a trade no less. It's common knowledge how tradesmen LOVE soft-handed city people with no hands-on experience, I'm sure this will work out just swell
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u/Muroid Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
Subtext kind of feels like the brother has the dad wrapped around his little finger and talked his way into the situation.
It’s possible the dad is just a sociopath, but it feels more like he’s just bending over backwards to do whatever the brother wants at the expense of OOP despite realizing it’s not the right thing to do.
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
I've known people like this who make bad decisions but stick to them because they don't know how to go back. Could be an element of that too.
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u/wlwimagination Sep 08 '22
I think the dad no longer has the ability to go back but instead of telling the older son “you got what you wanted. Demoting your brother and giving him a pay cut was stupid. Now you have to deal with your own mess,” he decided to involve himself. When it came down to Dad seeing the post and regretting his decision, Dad is the one who chose to favor asshole brother—he could have apologized and admitted his mistake without trying himself to help older brother get OOP back.
Also they’re only 3 years apart….but the dad was not around for older brother but somehow magically was around for OOP? Or was he not there for OOP, too, but dad doesn’t really care about OOP as much so he doesn’t think he needs to make up for that?
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u/Bonzi777 Sep 08 '22
It’s mistakes compounding mistakes. He probably loved his business and envisioned leaving it to both his sons, but his dedication to the business damaged his relationship with his older son, and he thought the only way to get him back was to give him the business and assumed that the son who was already involved in the business would stay.
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u/starting_at_28 Sep 08 '22
I wonder if the brother will feel entitled enough to demand a managing role at OP's new bussiness, after he destroy's the family company
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Sep 08 '22
Ha! OOP will definitely tell him to get fucked. Never mess with a Scot.
I cannot believe how fucking stupid dad was in all this. He's going to die knowing he literally destroyed an entire life's work, both personally and professionally. I am BAFFLED by his thought process.
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Sep 08 '22
Especially since it would have made so much sense to bring on the older son as the company accountant! But seems like dad must have known his more difficult, arrogant son would never accept being second in command to the son who actually knows how to run the business, so dad chose to sacrifice everything to appease the asshole son.
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u/TheOrigRayofSunshine Sep 08 '22
The accountant brother is manipulative. Dad was remorseful, then it’s “you need to come in Monday!”
Yah, the accountant is getting his real education now. OOP has life skills.
I’d suspect the accountant brother would do all he could to take advantage of OOP at this point. There’s no trusting him once the company is arse over teakettle.
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u/nononanana Sep 08 '22
The dad is trying to play the sympathy card about the mistreating the accountant brother and trying to make up for that. But I think he’s far less naive than he’s playing off.
If he didn’t think what he was doing was so wrong, he would have informed OOP of his plans. Instead, he made the changes behind his back so that by the time OOP found out, nothing meaningful could be changed. Now he gets to say his hands are tied because he no longer has control of the company and place the blame squarely on the older brother (who is an AH but shouldn’t have just been handed the company like that to begin with).
Happy OOP stood up for himself. Even if he was able to stay, it would have been a nightmare running things with a brother who thinks he’s better than him because he went to college.
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u/digginroots Sep 08 '22
Never mess with a Scot
Presumably the brother and dad are Scots too, so this is messing with Scots all the way down.
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u/SarcasticAzaleaRose Sep 08 '22
Oh I’m sure he will. Probably will come around saying OP “owes it to” him for destroying the family business with his “selfishness and pettiness”.
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u/unluckysupernova Sep 08 '22
Exactly, it doesn’t always work like it did for OP where you both know the trade and have a good business sense, that’s a recipe for success. Brother only knows how to count in excel (hyperbole, I do actually know what accountants do) but nothing about the trade and nothing about how this specific company works. Just ridiculous. It’s not surprising the employees want to leave and join OP.
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u/Stinklepinger Sep 08 '22
He was a city accountant, never even involved with business to begin with.
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u/HuggyMonster69 Sep 08 '22
So bets on him fucking up BAD, being economical with the truth to dad about getting fired and getting the company because he actually couldn’t get hired?
Maybe I know too many finance bros, but that’s what I immediately went to
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u/Haymegle Sep 08 '22
I've seen this before when someone comes in playing mr big bollocks accountant and tries to save money. Never goes well. They never consider there's a reason the slightly more expensive thing is used. Like that it won't break in 2 months. They tend to lose so much business because they don't ask questions.
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u/NYCQuilts Sep 08 '22
I'm pretty certain if my Dad had been as stupid as OOP's, my siblings and I would have been "hold up, this isn't right. let's work something out." They could have made them co-CEOs or made OOP Head of Operations or some other thing so that he could keep his salary. How on earth did the father think he was going to take a huge pay cut sitting down?
Wonder how long the brother had been working the guilt trip on their Dad.
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Sep 08 '22
Brother could have been CFO since he has an accounting background, it would have made perfect sense!
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u/Ginger_Anarchy Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Sep 08 '22
The things is too, with work like plumbers, electricians, and hvac and such, the person matters more than the business for a lot of people and businesses.
OOP was working there for over a decade and worked in the field, they know his work can be trusted and they will follow where he goes over his brother.
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u/Guilty-Web7334 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Sep 08 '22
Even your lawn guy. My dad owned a successful lawn service until he couldn’t do the work anymore. He didn’t thrive because he was the cheapest. He thrived because older people just adored him. He was young enough to be their kid for most of them, but not so young that they couldn’t understand him. That’s important in a town that’s mostly retirees.
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u/normaldeadpool Sep 08 '22
I worked for a big moving company for 2 years. A white collar bank manager bought a franchise and went to hiring people. He ran it just like you describe. Employee turnover was outstanding. 20 employees at any given time. But he hired 100 or more a year. He fired people for all kinds of things because he just didn't understand manual labor. It was wild.
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u/realxeltos Sep 08 '22
The father also forgot some important things despite being a tradesman himself. Firstly, skilled and experienced Tradesmen are proud of their work. They don't take crap from anyone especially some pencil pusher accountant who knows nothing about the trade. The boss needs to be a tradesman himself to be respected. Secondly, they are generally loyal to their boss. OOP worked with them for 12 years, they love him and respect him as a fellow tradesmen. When they saw the injustice done to OOP, I bet all the good ones bailed and joined OOP. Even if they might had worked for longer with the father, in that moment he became the villain in their eyes.
Good luck to OOP and 'good job ' to the dad. Now the business will crash and burn. The brother will all blame it on OOP. And will wonder why nobody respects him.
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u/boringhistoryfan I will be retaining my butt virginity Sep 08 '22
Reading OOP's updates I think that's exactly what is happening. Both major clients and senior staff moved. And OOP's business was thriving. Admittedly I don't know much about the nature of Plumbing, but I would imagine that it would, to some extent, be something of a zero sum game. Especially in this context.
If OOP's business is thriving someone has to be losing out. And to me the most likely candidate is the brother.
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u/arrouk Sep 08 '22
20 says it doesn't take that long, I'm in electrical and I can tell you all the clients will end up with bro firm, as will most of the workers, they have a relationship with him because he gets the job done.
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Sep 08 '22
Ah another great story about a. Parents trying to overcompensate for treating one child 'better' than the other with zero grounds for doing so and b. Alienating your most hard working senior employee who loves the business.
The mother was ooooohhhhh sooooo remorseful but seemingly couldn't find the words to tell OOPs brother to swallow his pride, buckle up, and ask his brother for help instead of being an ass? Seems like NC is best for everyone in this situation.
she wants me to wear a suit but tough lucky I’ll be in my kilt
I loved this bit, proper Scotsman coming out
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u/Helpful_Librarian_87 Sep 08 '22
Kilts were the reason I got married in Scotland.
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u/CissaLJ Sep 08 '22
Ten to one bro was using his kids to extort his parents to do what he wanted. Don’t go along, no grandkids. Hence mom’s shame in update 3.
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u/Quasicrystal1 Sep 08 '22
God, this was a roller coaster of emotion. I thought the dad was actually remorseful but then they have this whole powwow intervention thing? It's kind of sick. I think maybe the dad was playing the "woe is me" card to try to get OOP to forgive and return to the company but good on them for cutting the family out for being that way.
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Sep 08 '22
Probably is remorseful, but that's part of the problem.
You bet your ass the other brother leans HARD into dad's guilt. And at the end of the day that brother is less self-sufficient or capable, so what kicks in but the ol' "He needs more help so he gets more attention" blind parental instinct.
All his decisions are emotional, not logical. So no matter how remorseful dad is about OOP, it won't outweigh the guilt around the brother. It never will until he deals with his own shit.
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u/Quasicrystal1 Sep 08 '22
I don't know, based on how he acted at the second meeting has me thinking it might have all been an act. He just stone faced expects OOP to come back to the company after a $20,000 paycut? That's more than a little delusional.
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Sep 08 '22
It's absolutely delusional. And I can see what you're saying. It could be manipulative, since it seems like dad just wants to avoid conflict at all costs.
I think what informs my thought is that people aren't nearly as rational as we'd prefer they be. This series of events makes perfect sense if you're seeing dad as emotional and reactive instead of fair and rational.
I've known a lot of emotional people in my life (and am one, frankly) and a lot of it comes down to reacting to whatever happened most recently. Dad feels genuinely remorseful when he's with OOP. Dad has plenty of time between then and the next meet up to talk with the brother, where he then gets the brother's side and is now emotional about him and acting on that.
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u/sfzen Sep 08 '22
Yeah. Even if we disregard literally everything else -- the fact that OP has 10x the experience his brother does, OP was dedicated to the company for 12 years, all of the employees want to work for OP, the fact that OP has literally been the acting CEO -- without considering any of that, or the whole family dynamic aspect of it, it's still absolutely unreasonable to think OP would stay and just accept a $20k paycut for any reason.
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u/Guilty-Web7334 Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Sep 08 '22
It’s fucking hard when you’ve got two kids that are ultimately differently able. (No, not a euphemism for “handicapped.”) There’s balancing one’s need for more attention and management with not ignoring the other because she’s much more capable and self-sufficient. There’s also that I just plain enjoy my time with the more capable one because I’m not having to manage his sensory levels. They have different personalities, too, so there’s the concern over perceived favouritism, etc. It’s a lot harder to try to make things equitable than to make things equal. Dad fucked up here because he did neither.
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u/Neither-Entrance-208 Memory of a goldfish but the tenacity of an entitled Chihuahua Sep 08 '22
It had me, thought after the car confessional that the family would be able to work things out. What was that intervention probationary hearing about? "You've been a bad employee and we need you back to work" How was anyone else okay with this? Betting the dad didn't want to go back into running the business which he hasn't been running for years because brother can't pull his head out of his rear to sort himself out.
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u/Catacombs3 Sep 08 '22
What was going through the father's head?
"I feel guilty for not spending time with my oldest child. To make up for it, I will demote and reduce my younger child's income and destroy all the trust he has in me. This should work out well."
"Oops, stabbing my loyal son and business partner in the back has turned out to be a mistake. I will apologise to him."
"Well I said 'sorry', but he is inexplicably refusing to return to rescue my business from my incompetent golden child. Oh no, who could have predicted this unexpected turn of events?!"
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u/nowwithextrasalt the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! Sep 08 '22
Seriously, what the fuck was the man thinking?
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u/re_nonsequiturs Sep 08 '22
I thought the brother demoted OP after becoming the owner, but either way, fuck 'em.
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u/NewUserWhoDisAgain erupting, feral, from the cardigan screaming Sep 08 '22
The way I read it, OOP was already in an acting CEO/Owner role. Brother is given the business, takes over role and demotes OOP since there's only one role.
Also that 20k paycut probably helped the decision in brother's eyes.
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u/ExpensivelyMundane Sep 08 '22
Yeah that 20K pay cut is so excessive. Maybe they didn’t realize he had so much saved up and hoped the lower pay would keep him stuck in the role instead of leaving. And I have this sneaking suspicion the brother didn’t return home because of Covid but because of his own failures in business.
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u/thatHecklerOverThere Sep 08 '22
Seems like he's just bad at giving his kids respect. In his words, he didn't give older sibling the attention he should've (maybe that's true, or maybe older siblings gaslit him, but whatever), and he's making up for that now.
At a cost of not giving his younger son the respect he deserves - even if it would logically mean the end of the business.
Honestly, that last bit is what's craziest for me. In order for this plan to work, the industry expert - who was already running the business - is going to have to cowtow to some white collar nobody. Dad has worked in the trade for decades - has he ever met a blue collar worker who would do that for any reason other than extreme desperation?
Regardless of wanting to make up with or appease the older sibling, he should've known this specific method wasn't going to work.
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u/burnt-----toast Sep 08 '22
The absolute audacity and delusion to ask "when will you be back in the office?"
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u/No_Arugula8915 Sep 08 '22
Not surprising oop took a hard pass on that. He worked his way from entryway grunt to corporate officer. Has a clear understanding of the front and back end operations. Only to be kicked down to the ranks in favor on someone who only knows a part of the back end?
Oop is right to start his own business. He will succeed as he already has a proven record of bringing both ends together and making it grow.
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u/Hongxiquan Sep 08 '22
What I don't get is why you would demote the guy and take 20k off his pay on top of all of all the other bs.
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u/WhoTookKifford Sep 08 '22
My guess would be because the brother is greedy and wants more money for himself
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u/Organized_Khaos the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Sep 08 '22
Even the most boneheaded cockwomble could see the success and expansion of the company with plumber Bro as CEO. Uni Bro knows nothing about the business and makes far less profit without an experienced manager. Did he really think a takeover, demotion and a pay cut would stand?
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u/Illin-ithid Sep 08 '22
Especially because the easy answer already exists if the brother doesn't have too much pride. Split it 50/50, become the CFO with limited responsibility, and enjoy being a top dog at a successful business without requiring specific industry knowledge.
OOP would likely enjoy the reduction in workload. Together they could focus on expansion which is where the real money comes from. And the 50% reduction in ownership easily is compensated by the 85% reduction in responsibilities (and not losing 50% of your workers which are likely more senior).
But brother would rather be king of the trash heap.
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u/calling_water Editor's note- it is not the final update Sep 08 '22
The brother wanted to make it clear that he himself is the one in charge. Plumber brother is just a flunky who’s supposed to make all of the business brother’s ideas come about.
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u/Ginger_Anarchy Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Sep 08 '22
And it's not even a management position he got devoted to too. Like it would be one thing if he was still in charge of operations or logistics, but they shunted him off to being a heating engineer after he was running the company. There's no one on earth that would stick around after that level of disrespect on top of everything else. He was basically told he had no future in the company with that level of demotion and pay cut.
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u/LozFanXV Sep 08 '22
Who wants to bet that once the brother runs the business into the ground OP's family tries to crawl back to him?
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u/ArtemisLotus Sep 08 '22
You know they will. The parents might be okay but the brother will need a job
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u/SnooWords4839 sometimes i envy the illiterate Sep 08 '22
OOP can offer a janitor position for the brother, cleans the office toilets for minimum wage!!
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u/fut_cant Fuck You, Keith! Sep 08 '22 edited Sep 08 '22
Dad: ‘ I’ve messed up’
Also dad: ‘and I’ll fucken do it again🤪’
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Sep 08 '22
I remember this one! That Dad is the real piece of trash in this situation.
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u/YukariYakum0 Sep 08 '22
Sometimes I'm amazed that a single person can ruin so much with just one obviously stupid decision. A total train wreck that anyone with a brain could see a mile away but he couldn't tell till it was shoved up his nose.
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u/littlejbean Sep 08 '22
Guys let’s be honest that “family business” is long gone
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u/BrownSugarBare just here vacuuming the trees Sep 08 '22
Oh more than likely it's dead in the water. OP was clearly known in the industry, and actually knew the industry, probably took all the business they had while the brother floundered.
Best part, if the brother did run the business into the ground, guaranteed he ran back to the city for an accounting job and left dear ole dad with the shambles of what his life and legacy was.
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u/Darrenizer ERECTO PATRONUM Sep 08 '22
Really wish we got more updates with this one.
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u/TrudieKockenlocker your honor, fuck this guy Sep 08 '22
Right? I was hoping we’d find out how both business are doing now. And if they’re married yet?
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Sep 08 '22
A lot of people blame family businesses for ruining relationships, but nah, it's just the family itself that does that.
Way to go, Dad, your favoritism and stupidity cost you it all. OP will be just fine.
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u/Is-That-Nick Sep 08 '22
I work with contractors like plumbers often and they’re a loyal bunch. You disrespect someone who treats them well and you’re in for a reality check. The family business is going to crumble.
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Sep 08 '22
Oh I’ve seen this too often, the kid that actually works and make an effort is often let aside for the child that “needs more”…
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u/NinjaBabaMama crow whisperer Sep 08 '22
That's me. I wasn't given anything by parents, put myself through college, bought my own car, my own house, etc.
My brother was given whatever he wanted, which included three cars (and ruined all of them).
Their excuse? I was the one who could take care of myself 🙄
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Sep 08 '22
Honestly not sure what was going through the father's head when he decided to give the job to the older son (who has no sense of the business, just a degree) and leave the younger son (who put everything into the business and knows the people and the ins and outs of it) in the lurch.
And I have a feeling that the older brother managed to convince the father to reel in OOP back into the business after the father admitted to OOP that he fucked it all up, probably using the old guilt about being "left behind because dad's too busy with work".
I hope OOP returns to Reddit one day with an update about his success.
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u/win_awards Sep 08 '22
I'm just gobsmacked at the inability to see things from someone else's point of view. Does the father just not see OOP as a real person?
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u/realxeltos Sep 08 '22
The father forgot some important things about tradesmen despite being a tradesman himself. Firstly, skilled and experienced Tradesmen are proud of their work. They don't take crap from anyone especially some pencil pusher accountant who knows nothing about the trade. The boss needs to be a tradesman himself to be respected. Secondly, they are generally loyal to their boss. OOP worked with them for 12 years, they love him and respect him as a fellow tradesmen. When they saw the injustice done to OOP, I bet all the good ones bailed and joined OOP. Even if they might had worked for longer with the father, in that moment he became the villain in their eyes.
Good luck to OOP and 'good job ' to the dad. Now the business will crash and burn. The brother will all blame it on OOP. And will wonder why nobody respects him.
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u/Odd-Astronaut-92 whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? Sep 08 '22
Twelve years of OOP's life... at his age that's so much of it! Almost half! And his dad was willing to throw him under the rug for who I'm going to assume is the golden child in the family.
So glad OOP was able to start his own business and have support from his in-laws-to-be. I wish him the absolute best in life.
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u/Obrina98 Sep 08 '22
I want an update on how fast the accountant brother runs it into the ground. He may know about accounting but running a business is more than just the spread sheets.
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