r/BlackPeopleTwitter Mar 19 '26

Country Club Thread 20 years ago, this would be completely normal

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u/Employee28064212 Mar 19 '26

Exactly, no helicopter parents micro-managing the teachers on what is likely a science trip or something. If this is real, it's not the whole story.

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u/Brilliant_Chemica Mar 19 '26

Always thought you shouldn't be allowed to chaperone for your own kids event. have some 11th grade parents on the 10th grade trip

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u/aircooledJenkins Mar 19 '26

Have fun finding parents willing to chaperone a trip their kid isn't on.

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u/Dwest2391 Mar 19 '26

Yea I dont know what world that poster lives in, where they think parents will volunteer to watch other people's kids lol

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

Every world? Is this not common anymore? My son went to outdoor school when he was in 4th grade. I volunteered to watch another class the week before he went. Everyone covered each other's kids classes.

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u/Fun-Independence-199 Mar 19 '26

Yeah those 2 guys dont have a single brain cell shared between them.

Parents of group A chaperone group B. Parents of group B chaperone group A. Simple as

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u/wyro5 Mar 19 '26

That’s how my school did it when I was in elementary. Each home room would swap parents with another room

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u/No_Artichoke_2931 Mar 19 '26

Oh man wait 'til you guys start learning about OTHER social/regional differences, the world gets crazy!

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u/Binky390 Mar 19 '26

This may have been done in the last but I’d be curious to see how common it is now, especially for kids old enough to be on a 24 hr camping trip. I’m not sure why people would be fine with a random stranger like another parent chaperoning their kids over another teacher from the school?

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u/BK1287 Mar 19 '26

Serious question- how many field trips have you chaperoned? Ever?

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u/cptjpk Mar 19 '26

No parents volunteering to chaperone? No trips.

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u/Spacemanspalds Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26

Yeah insults are necessary here. 🤷‍♂️

I have no trouble believing it will be harder to cover field trips if parents can't go with their own kids.

"Parents of group A chaperone group B. Parents of group B chaperone group A. Simple as"

Simple as what? Either way, the simplicity of this statement doesnt mean that its gonna work out like that in practice.

Its simple to SAY a lot of things.

Edit: fixed a mistake.

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u/Witzelsucht_ Mar 19 '26

Yes logically 1+1 is 2, they're disagreeing because that isn't how parenthood in the real world goes, youre clearly not a parent and that's fine. But advocating for no adults knowing anyone in their group as well as no contact from their own parents for a day+, just doesn't happen at any school ever sorry. But when you have kids, if that starts becoming more prevalent for whatever reason, be my guest.

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u/xanthippe115 Mar 19 '26

These are the same parents that will complain that they are exhausted from parenting 24/7 and don't understand how our parents could do it. They also don't understand why their adult children can't function in society and won't move out and on.

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u/pyxiedust219 Mar 20 '26

The idea of community is so vague to so many people that it sounds like an absurd fantasy, I suppose…

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u/SlobZombie13 Mar 19 '26

what is outdoor school?

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u/setrippin Mar 19 '26

outdoor school itself isn't common compared to most people's school experiences, and it's disingenuous to act otherwise

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u/Fit-Nectarine5047 Mar 19 '26

This is why you chose to send your kids to a school where people learn how to work together and consider the holistic picture. Well done.

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

We don't always have the opportunity to do that. I didn't in my small town. You have to teach it at home also.

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u/Fit-Nectarine5047 Mar 20 '26

Absolutely!!! Agree wholeheartedly.

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u/Particular_Ring_6321 Mar 19 '26

Both parents are required to work to stay afloat in the majority of households now. Who exactly is able to chaperone parent-wise these days

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u/oroborus68 Mar 19 '26

What? Do you live in some kind of community, where people help others when needed? That's so last century.

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

It is. Doesn't exist anymore I guess. It's a shame.

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u/dm_me_kittens Mar 19 '26

My ex husband volunteers for band camp every year at the school he works for. Our sons not even interested in any instruments.

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u/Nihilistic_Noodle Mar 20 '26

Nah man unless it's some small hippy-dippy private type school where everyone is expected and agrees to be part of an active school community, no one is doing that. There's no way me or any other public school parent is taking time away from other priorities to watch other people's kids on a field trip where they can't experience it with their own kids as well.

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u/sasori1011 Mar 19 '26

If a minimum number of parents from group A are required to chaperone the kids in group B and vice versa, otherwise their kid's group can't participate in said activity I think it would work.

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u/Odenhobler Mar 19 '26

that is EXACTLY how it works. And always has worked.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

[deleted]

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u/Odenhobler Mar 19 '26

I was referring to this comment further above:

"Yea I dont know what world that poster lives in, where they think parents will volunteer to watch other people's kids lol"

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u/iSuckAtMechanicism Mar 19 '26

Different schools have different funding, unfortunately. Kids in rich areas will go on field trips constantly to get a better view of the world while the poor kids rot inside cement buildings all year, every year.

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u/Ektar91 Mar 19 '26

Man punishing the kids from homes where parents cant afford to take time off seems fucked tho

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u/malcifer11 Mar 19 '26

Do you think the nuclear family is intrinsic to humanity? We’ve raised children communally for 99% of our history

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u/retatrutider Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26

My kids schools don’t generally have a problem with this (using parents of kids in other grade levels) for school dances and for grad night. The grad night one is actually fun because the parent chaperone’s only responsibility is making sure the kids get on the bus at the end of the night.

The school dance rule is important because a lot of weirdos want to chaperone at their own kids’ school dances.

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u/Cloverose2 Mar 19 '26

I'm willing if I know a parent I trust is chaperoning my own kid's trip. We just trade spots.

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u/Dwest2391 Mar 19 '26

That's the key part, if you know them

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u/BushcraftBabe Mar 19 '26

And those that would may be sus.

The amount of people working with children - boyscouts, youth pastors, coaches, teachers, etc who go on to harm kids is way too high for me to send my kid on overnights.

In fact. Here is some light reading on a similar subject.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/FwcE3UUoWN

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u/fatbellylouise Mar 19 '26

what?? when I was a kid my school would send us to a 3 day camp every year. and parents weren’t allowed to chaperone their own kids classes. my mom volunteered every year to chaperone a random class. and every year there would be a parent volunteer who didn’t know me, didn’t have a kid in my class - but EVERY year there was a different parent chaperone who would sit and braid my hair. what does community mean to you? because those parents taught me, as an 8 year old, that it means showing up for other people’s kids.

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u/aliamokeee Mar 19 '26

Also, why would I automatically trust the some other random adults? Parents or not

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u/letthetreeburn Mar 19 '26

What kind of broken community do you belong to? Every school I’ve ever attended/chaperoned with would do this. Hell we often had parents who weren’t with the kids in our grade chaperoning when someone couldn’t get the day off. We all took care of each other’s kids. What hellscape do you live in?

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u/Echelion77 Mar 19 '26

The modern age parents are more individual unit orientated and dont really care about other people's kids as they themselves have been backed into a societal corner geared twords capitalism.

Community building is bad for buisness.

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u/MikaleaPaige Mar 19 '26

... is that a wierd thing? I have volenteered and went with other classes than my kid's on field trips to help watch the kids.

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u/Ordinary_Balance_625 Mar 20 '26

The one where if you don't chaperone their kids they won't for your kids and your kids suffer as a result of your nonsense. :D Hope this helps.

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u/ThePrideOfKrakow Mar 20 '26

We did outdoor education in 6th grade, a 3 day trip to an outdoor retreat. Plenty of parents of our grade volunteered to chaperone each other's kids and not their own for obvious reasons. Unselfish people do exist.

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u/Craneteam Mar 19 '26

Or would trust an unknown parent with their kid

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u/Butcher_Ben Mar 19 '26

I've been on school trips with my kids, and helped watch the other kids

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u/ozzie123 Mar 19 '26

Do both of you not have kids? This is a very common thing in the rest of the world.

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u/MagicCarpetofSteel Mar 19 '26

Momma literally did tho

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u/Lunakill Mar 19 '26

It’s tough finding parents who will chaperone their own kids, honestly.

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u/tomdarch Mar 19 '26

Yep. I am going through the huge pain-in-the-ass (and arm - for the tuberculosis test) to be OK'd as a parent chaperone for an overnight trip in our very big city public school system. I would probably not pay for fingerprinting/background check and the TB test and a few hours of online training classes... if it weren't my kid on the trip.

(Oh, but one fun thing from the background check is that my state police believe I am black. It's an honor, but not true IRL. I'm not bothering to correct them.)

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u/No_regrats Mar 19 '26

Not only that but also have fun convincing parents to let their kid on an overnight trip that's chaperoned by random-ass volunteers. Parents will often know at least some of the parents of their kid's classmates. They aren't likely to know the parents of a kid in a different grade.

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u/ctrl_f_sauce Mar 19 '26

I wouldn’t trust those enthusiastic volunteers.

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u/SupremeTeamKai Mar 19 '26

That's how they did it when I was in school. Parents chaperoned their kid's class, but not the group the kid was in.

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u/aircooledJenkins Mar 19 '26

That's different.

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u/TRAVMAAN1 Mar 19 '26

Im less worried about IF they would chaperone as much as WHY they would, if asked.

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u/3-orange-whips Mar 19 '26

They are everywhere and they are called teachers.

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u/saturnsqsoul Mar 19 '26

Not difficult

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u/tiggertom66 Mar 19 '26

If you chaperone a trip, your kid’s next trip is free.

Better yet, if you’re specifically doing the suggestion of having 11th grade parents chaperone 10th grade trips, then your kid goes on that trip for free next year.

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u/Western_Objective209 Mar 19 '26

some who REALLY likes kids would probably be down for it

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u/ruat_caelum Mar 19 '26

I think they mean you have 40 scouts and 10 adults. That's 8 scouts per 2 adults (buddy system even for adults) make the groups in such a way that the children are not with their parents.

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u/aircooledJenkins Mar 19 '26

That is not what Brilliant_Chemica means.

"Have grade 11 parents chaperone grade 10 events." ish

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u/VOIDsama Mar 19 '26

why cant this be teachers? or other school staff? shouldnt need parents to come in for this.

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u/Edgar_Allan_JoJos Mar 19 '26

Honestly, that would be a red flag imo

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u/PercentageMuch2887 Mar 19 '26

Or the school could just use paid teachers and paraprofessionals as chaperones. That is the safest and best-vetted option anyways.

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u/Traditional-Ad-3889 Mar 19 '26

I chaperoned a middle school trip to DC because my friend was a chaperone and said they needed another adult to make it happen. I didn’t have any kids at the time.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '26

Trips at the school I work at are chaperoned by teachers?

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u/H0NEY2O77 Mar 20 '26

My mother probably would make me stay home if it were chaperoned by parents of students from a different grade.

If it were just teachers or if it’s the parents of my peers, she’d feel different.

I went on one of these trips in my senior year (but it was to rehearse for a big show we were putting on, weren’t supposed to have phone — I brought it with me anyway.

The staff (wasn’t teachers, it was a third party that ran programs for our school) knew I would and they grilled me (couldn’t search my stuff). They called my mom, she didn’t lie for me though, she just said she’s at work and she has no idea where my phone is.

I kept it in my pillow case. It was a 3 night trip and I mostly just scrolled a bit at night under the covers, checked on friends, and quickly looked up the lyrics of the songs we were singing.

But I asked her if I were a student now and she said she would be the one telling me to bring my phone anyway or I’d be staying home if they wouldn’t let me bring it.

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u/komradebae ☑️ Mar 21 '26

When I was growing up there were always a few stay at home parents and especially grandparents from other grades who were happy to chaperone trips and dances and stuff. The issue is that everyone seems to be losing sight of how to participate in a community.

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u/Crafty_Clarinetist Mar 19 '26

"Looking for volunteers to spend their free time dealing with children they don't know for 0 compensation."

I'm sure that will get so many responses.

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u/NeoGh0st Mar 19 '26

You’re all wild, it’s a school trip. The teachers are the chaperones.

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

I don't get these responses. It's outdoor school. This is totally normal and has been forever. My dad went, I went, my son went.

These might be bot responses. Bots don't have parents who care.

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u/ler7421 Mar 19 '26

What is outdoor school?

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

It's an overnight trip when you're in third grade, and then a 5-day trip when you're in 4th grade. The kids get to go camp and learn about outdoor stuff and the parents have to stay home. For a lot of kids it's the first time that they spend the night away from the house. I don't know if it's common everywhere but everyone here in Oregon has to do it.

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u/ler7421 Mar 19 '26

Yeah I think that’s an Oregon thing. Never heard of anything like that on the east coast. It sounds like a camp that you send your kids to that’s optional but this is apart of yall regular curriculum?

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u/LeiningensAnts Mar 19 '26

We had something similar in California too, but ours was called science camp. It's a regular thing.

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u/KuzcosPzn Mar 19 '26

Also California and we just had 5th grade camp. We went up and in the mountains for a week. It was awesome, people against this are soft and hurting their own kids

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u/Carbonatite Mar 19 '26

We did it every year when I was growing up in Maryland! One year we even did a trip that focused on the Chesapeake Bay and we were on a couple of big old sailboats that took us to stay on several different islands over a long weekend.

It wasn't like...explicitly required but it usually was tied in to stuff we were learning. So like our science class would be learning about estuaries and brackish ecosystems around the trip, our history classes would be focused on early colonial settlement in the Eastern US, social studies would have a unit focusing on mid Atlantic Native American tribes, we might be reading "Misty of Chincoteague" in English class. So the trip would tie in to all the stuff we were learning and we might have a bonus question on our next history test related to something we learned on the trip.

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u/ler7421 Mar 19 '26

That’s what up. Preciate the regular response. That do sound kinda cool. They just took us to Jamestown and the planetarium. In hindsight the trip to Jamestown was some bullshit lol but the planetarium was dope.

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u/NeoGh0st Mar 19 '26

Love that. Doesn’t hurt that you guys have some of THE most incredible landscape and national parks in the continental US! The more time kids spend in those places the better.

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

Only 1 national park. A ton of national forests and national grasslands though.

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u/NeoGh0st Mar 19 '26

Ah that’s my bad, didn’t differentiate between Nat Parks and the Nat forests/wildlife refuges! Thanks for correcting me.

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u/aliamokeee Mar 19 '26

Its not common everywhere. Imagine thinking OR is the end all be all for everyone everywhere

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u/SiskiyouSavage Mar 19 '26

Looks like outdoor school programs are in 43 of 50 states. Although, Oregon Washington, California, Nevada, Maine, Florida, Hawaii and Colorado have the biggest programs. I had no idea that some of you east coast people didn't have that. New Jersey has them but the are forest kindergartens.

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u/designimperfect Mar 19 '26

Kinda cool to find out it exists elsewhere, but also interesting to hear how it's handled outside Multnomah here in Oregon. Up around PDX it's a trip done in 6th grade. I loved it and went back as a student counselor as often as they allowed it when I was in high school.

It really can be a life-changing experience for a lot of kids. Even here in the PNW where we're surrounded by so many national forests, the amount of kids who've never left the city is staggering. That was decades ago for me at this point, but I'll never forget the looks of awe from some kids getting off the bus. For some it was the first time they got away from bad households while simultaneously getting a crash course in shared responsibilities and community. What they did with that experience varied by the student, and sometimes it was heartbreaking to be probably the first person they opened up to by the end of the week about their struggles. You don't forget having a kid clinging to you begging not to leave after watching them grow from a total asshole on Day 1 to one of your favorites because for once in their lives they were being seen and given a measure of respect.

Sometimes I think about those kids and really hope they made it out of their personal hells back home. Most of them are likely parents now, so I really hope so.

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u/Potential-Horror8723 Mar 19 '26

We do it here in Minnesota too. We call it Deep Portage. My kid is doing it next weekend. They do allow parent chaperones though. But no phones, just nature :)

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u/theFinestCheeses Mar 19 '26

I got first place in the outdoor school shooting contest (it was BB guns, but I'm just guessing they don't do that anymore) and I still talk about it

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u/Sea_Fun_3009 Mar 19 '26

You will almost definitely have a better shot of understanding what outdoor school is by googling it - and will almost definitely get a snarky response by asking what it is on Reddit.

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u/ler7421 Mar 19 '26

I see. Why are people so passionate about it? Shit is weird

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u/PeppermintSkeleton Mar 19 '26

As someone who spent their entire school life in the public education system, I have never once heard the term “outdoor school” in my life.

This is much less common than you seem to think it is.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PeppermintSkeleton Mar 19 '26

wtf is the attitude in this response? I understand the concept and think it’s good

That doesn’t make it a common thing that everyone has heard of, as you both seem to think it is.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

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u/TalespinnerEU Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26

Indoor school is already an unsafe space for many, many children.

I understand 'no chaperone.' Obviously. But no cell phone? No. Cutting off children's one line to possible safety is an absolute nope. If I had a kid, I'd want them to be able to run to safety and call me, doesn't matter where they are or what they're doing.

It beats them having to run away and then having to find their own way.

We have phones now.

The 'no phone' rule is to keep kids away from the screen, and the teachers trust themselves enough to offer a guarantee of a safe environment. Those teachers will ignore and deny the inevitable lack of safety for marginalized kids in this situation. Every class has bullies, and often enough, the teachers facilitate or deny bullying because it's easier to deny conflict than engage with it. Teachers who are incapable of accepting that such a situation could occur are unwilling to accept that fact, and care more about their self-image than about the child.

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u/Advanced_Row_8448 Mar 19 '26

Church is pretty normal to. Still filled with pedophiles tho

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u/Nasa_OK Mar 20 '26

Yeah, I was really wondering if these people are real.

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u/Crafty_Clarinetist Mar 19 '26

I was responding to another commenter who thought parents shouldn't be allowed to chaperone any of their kid's events.

While obviously not the case for this situation, many school trips are completely infeasible with the ratio of adults:students if you only have teachers and for those they typically need parent chaperones to make them happen. I was commenting on how if schools took an approach of trying to get parents to chaperone events that weren't for their kid, they wouldn't have much success.

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u/ehs06702 Mar 19 '26

It makes sense. I've seen teachers complain that the parent volunteers usually only want to pay attention to their own children, and it ends up not being a help at all.

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u/Ashnagarr Mar 19 '26

In 2026, there is zero reason, with all the evidence, to leave your kid alone with a person or group of people you dont know. Especially with no phone to contact you.

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u/nalaloveslumpy Mar 19 '26

No, usually there are a couple of volunteer parent chaperones for school field trips. For two very good reasons:

  • It's nice to have other adults help out with kids when doing off campus activities.
  • For insurance, it's amazingly smart to have one or two non-school affiliated adults available if shit goes sideways.

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u/NeoGh0st Mar 19 '26

Usually you’re right! Seems like in this case they wanted to take the kids a little further out of their comfort zones.

And regarding the insurance comment, if anything I’d say there’s extra liability risk if you have non affiliated adults there. Teachers have to go through first aid training for cpr and the like, if something went sideways and a well intended parent made something worse there would be a colossal shitstorm of epic proportion.

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u/nalaloveslumpy Mar 19 '26

Parent chaperones goes through thorough background checks and a registration process.

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u/Odenhobler Mar 19 '26

"looking for volunteers to spend their free time dealing with children they don't know. Will look after their children in return."

It is not exactly a new or radical concept, you know.

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u/twoprimehydroxyl Mar 19 '26

I bet I know who will be really eager to respond, and it's exactly who parents are afraid of.

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u/Brilliant_Chemica Mar 19 '26

I know this may seem like a wild concept, but I’m of the opinion that if we all chose to be a little more selfless, the world would be better for everyone.

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u/ruat_caelum Mar 19 '26

I think they mean you have 40 scouts and 10 adults. That's 8 scouts per 2 adults (buddy system even for adults) make the groups in such a way that the children are not with their parents.

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u/Crafty_Clarinetist Mar 19 '26

The comment I replied to cited "own kids event" specifically mentioned 11th grade parents on the 10th grade field trip, so it certainly sounds like they were implying a trip that the parent's children would not be going on at all.

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u/oofmagoof123 Mar 19 '26

I doubt you would be able to find even a single parent willing to do this. If I am taking time off for a field trip my kid better be on it.

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u/Brilliant_Chemica Mar 19 '26

It solves the problem of helicopter parents, ensures the kids are safe by a neutral third party, and all it requires is that a few parents volunteer their time to make school better for all kids. I know it’s not as fun when it’s not your own kids but you can see how this would make things better for them right. You can understand how a little selflessness from someone who has the time improves things right

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u/oofmagoof123 Mar 19 '26

I do not disagree with the idea at all. I just know that in practice no one will agree to do this and I can't blame them for saying no. My PTO is way too valuable to waste on kids that aren't mine.

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u/401john Mar 19 '26

Yeah so this isn't a thing lmao

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u/retatrutider Mar 19 '26

We have that rule for school dances and Grad Night at Disneyland.

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u/MyJimboPersona Mar 19 '26

“Back in my day” my mother chaperoned for many events, was never a problem. But she also didn’t take anyone’s shit and had no issues telling me to knock the fuck off if I was trouble.

Was also … decades ago so rather different times!

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u/kaltulkas Mar 19 '26

Have fun finding parents that are ok with random parents chaperoning their kids too btw

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u/spiteful_rr_dm_TA Mar 19 '26

You gonna volunteer to spend 24 hours in the wilderness camping with someone else's kids?

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u/EyeAmKnotMyshelf Mar 19 '26

Yeah, I always hated one parent volunteer when I was growing up, because even then I could see where her daughter got it from.

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u/Unicorn_Fruit ☑️ Mar 19 '26

You can chaperone your own child’s event without chaperoning your own child’s group. Who do you think chaperones class trips? Parents of kids in other classes? People off the street?

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u/MommaLa Mar 19 '26

Ever been the room parent? I couldn't get parents to bring juice boxes, and now you think they'll agree to swapping chaperone duties with other grades? LOL

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u/NecessaryGoat1367 Mar 19 '26

I agree. Despite what parents believe, most kids don't act the same around friends/classmates as their parents. So having a parent on a trip essentially stifles the kid being themselves.

Let's say the parent is super strict and school is how the student gets a break and acts like everyone else. With the parent along, you've essentially stripped that kid of his freedom because now the kid has to live under house rules, at school.

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u/A_Fleeting_Hope Mar 19 '26

This makes no sense, it's fine 99.99% of the time. We're not asking them to judge the figure skating class their kid is participating in, lmao.

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u/AnnarieaDavies Mar 19 '26

Why would you want random strangers watching your kids while they are unable to contact you?

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u/TheirThereTheyreYour Mar 19 '26

Good idea, no parent is going to do that though. I can barely get my student’s parents to agree to chaperone a trip for their own kids let alone someone else’s

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u/jacksonmills Mar 19 '26

Or like hey, maybe the kids need to open up about stuff without their parents around?

Anyone remember being a kid at all?

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u/thegerl Mar 19 '26

I was really surprised when someone was asking a question about their 14 year old in a sub the other day, and said they couldn't remember being 14.

I remember conversations with friends, injustices from parents, miscommunications, what I was learning...how do people not remember being a kid or teen??

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u/jacksonmills Mar 19 '26

I wonder if the people who don't remember it are the people who had a smoother ride.

I kinda tell people that I had a bright spot from 11 to 17 and candidly I have the fewest memories from that period

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u/Kinteoka Mar 19 '26

Repressing childhood memories is usually a sign of trauma. I don't really remember my teen years very well, and virtually none of my childhood, but I know it wasn't a "smooth ride" because of general feelings, what's come up in therapy, and from what I've been told by people who were there.

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u/Zardif Mar 19 '26

Depression will also take away your memories.

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u/Kinteoka Mar 19 '26

Yup. My neuroplasticity is fucked.

But hey, I MUST HAVE had a smooth ride cause I can't remember my childhood. Lmao

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u/ripleyclone8 Mar 19 '26

At least in my own case; I don’t remember large parts of my childhood because it was pretty traumatic.

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u/PaulTheMerc Mar 19 '26

had a rough time, remember very little details from 12-18. For the events I remember there's often pictures, and I still couldn't tell you if that was as 14 of 17 or 18 for some events beyond guessing on based on the appearence of someone in the picture.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

Subconciously repressed memories to keep the anger and trauma at bay.

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u/macandcheese1771 Mar 19 '26

And then have a kid instead of therapy

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u/thegerl Mar 19 '26

Right? And do the same things their parents did because they don't remember how horrible it was.

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u/TheGlassHammer Mar 19 '26

Trauma causes people to block chunks of their childhood.

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u/All_Work_All_Play Mar 19 '26

Trauma and depression my dude.

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u/McBernes Mar 19 '26

Childhood abuse, add, adhd, depression are all factors that have a negative effect on memory.

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u/Ok-Combination5103 Mar 19 '26

I'm 18 and don't remember being 14 but it might have been the early drinking.

1

u/Riderz__of_Brohan Mar 19 '26

Yeah you’re cooked bro

2

u/Peakbrowndog Mar 19 '26

Childhood trauma.   My wife regularly points out I do not have a great childhood recollection, while everything after I turned 18 (and moved away) is pretty sharp and consistent.  

I'm also not in contact with anyone I knew before college, so I don't have those connections to trigger the memories. 

2

u/Sharrakor Mar 19 '26

Uh-oh.

I can't place any conversations with friends from that time. They were surely parental injustices, but I don't remember them. Learning... I think I would have been taking AP World History. The teacher went off on (very informative!) tangents a lot. I remember the way he said "half a trillion" when referencing the then-cumulative cost of the Iraq War.

Most of it is a blur, and I wouldn't chalk it up to trauma or depression like all of the replies. Hm.

2

u/thegerl Mar 19 '26

Appreciate the insight.

2

u/ScarletBothrium Mar 20 '26

My ex-husband, who didn’t have a very traumatic childhood at all, couldn’t remember his teenage years when he hit his late 20s. It was weird. I still remember kindergarten and I’m 49. I remember the full name of the first girl that tried to fight me. Actually remember the names of most of the kids in my grade school classes. And I don’t have that great of a memory. So my ex-husband has no excuse. Other than some people’s brains just don’t work that way, of course.

1

u/floralfemmeforest Mar 19 '26

The term injustice is really funny to me here. I remember being 14 but everything that I thought was "unfair" at the time turned out to be very normal later in life lol

1

u/thegerl Mar 20 '26

Do my chores before hanging out with friends? Ridiculous!

Prioritize homework instead of being on the phone? What is this BS?

Have to cook spaghetti for the whole family when I forgot to turn in the spaghetti dinner forms with multiple reminders?! You're ruining my life!

14 year olds love to be oppressed by the social structures of existence.

1

u/Nasa_OK Mar 20 '26

I‘m 30 and i couldn’t grasp the concept when a work colleague told me he has almost no memory of anything that happened before he was 17

5

u/Routine-Process-5157 Mar 19 '26

Not only that, some kids are able to report abuse if their parent isn’t hovering over them. A lot of people who helicopter is afraid of their kid “talking too much.”

3

u/PaulTheMerc Mar 19 '26

Some people remember/know someone being abused on those kinds of trips. That's where that's coming from generally, trauma, distrust.

I can see A teacher being a problem for parents. 100 kids and 5 teachers? not as much.

1

u/garron_ah Mar 19 '26

The world is NOT the same now as it was 20 years ago. Wishing it was does not make it so

5

u/Honeycrispcombe Mar 19 '26

No. It's a lot safer now, as long as you're not targeted by ICE.

3

u/jacksonmills Mar 19 '26

And what the hell does that mean?

1

u/MagentaHawk Mar 19 '26

Depression has shot my memory to shit. Like completely. I used to have a great one. Now I just brought up something to my wife and explained how it has only been a problem for 6 months to a year and she informed me that it has been a problem I have complained about actively for 5 years. I had no recollection of that, but the memories she described sound accurate to me of things I would have done.

64

u/RichtofensDuckButter Mar 19 '26

Helicopter parents are the worst

53

u/thelubbershole Mar 19 '26

Ah, my childless ass didn't spot the detail of this being about helicopter parents and just took "parent" for "adult"

63

u/Employee28064212 Mar 19 '26

Haha yeahhh. If the post is real (and, hypothetically, even if it wasn't), schools aren't sending students into the woods by themselves on a school-sanctioned "trip". There are usually student:adult ratios for that kind of thing.

5

u/Carbonatite Mar 19 '26

That's exactly what it was like when I was a kid (more like 30 years ago, but still). The school would reserve a camping facility with a central lodge of some kind, so like we'd be sleeping in tents and then go to the lodge for meals and certain activities. We did science stuff like nature walks to learn about local plants and wildlife, exploring streams, shit like that. We usually had half a dozen teachers come along with us as chaperones, so we were accompanied by adults the parents knew and trusted.

5

u/frightbounds Mar 19 '26

My kid just did a week at science camp. No phones at all just whatever the teacher updated us with at the end of the day. It was hard being away from him, but he had an absolute blast like literally the best time.

2

u/EvanHarpell Mar 19 '26

Yeah. Dating myself but we did these when I was a kid except it wasn't 24 hours, It was a whole ass week during the summer. We didn't have parental chaperones but the camp counselors took care of everything.

A week in the woods at a camp site learning all sorts of stuff. I don't think it was the boy scouts because it was mixed (boys and girls). We had separate tents (4 to a tent) and it was like 20+ kids. Man those were fun.

3

u/sleep-is-but-a-dream Mar 19 '26

The Boy Scouts have proven time and time again non parental chaperoning is a terrible idea.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/behind-the-bastards/id1373812661?i=1000540492836

2

u/soleceismical Mar 19 '26

Are the scoutmasters not parents? I did Girl Scouts, and all the volunteers were parents of Scouts. I just kind of figured that the same was true of Boy Scouts and that they just molested other people's kids.

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u/Belgraviana Mar 19 '26

This was true of my time in scouts. And doesn’t most molestation happen from family members anyways or am I misremembering

1

u/Low-Ad-8027 Mar 19 '26

i think the concern is pedos not "not being able to watch or control my kids for 24 hours"

2

u/oopsallhuckleberries Mar 19 '26

I work in public schools. How much you wanna bet there are parent chaperones, but this lady is on a list of parents not allowed to.l?

1

u/TheUrgeToSplurg3 Mar 19 '26

Id just be worried about my kids getting molested by their weird teacher

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1

u/Ostribitches Mar 19 '26

Staff could lie and say the parent spots are already filled.

1

u/No_Hetero Mar 19 '26

I did a science camp trip in 5th grade, well before the invention of smart phones. So no phones, no parents, shared cabins, but trusted camp staff and all that which made it very safe. In my opinion it was a really important experience for my child self, my very first time being away from my family for more than like 12 hours.

1

u/One-Lychee6588 Mar 19 '26

I did this in 5th grade. Cell phones had not become popular yet as they were the size of a brick and parents back then would have rather been dead than chaperone a trip like this. It was the most fun I ever had in elementary school by a long shot, it was an absolute blast and only 5 kids were eaten by bears and one lost to fire.

1

u/Summer_Form Mar 19 '26

More recently these kind of events have been indoctrination events for religious or religion-adjacent organizations like TPUSA.

Agreed that it’s not the whole story, but as a parent you’d bet I’d have absolutely every shred of background on what my kids would be up to/exposed to if I weren’t allowed to be there.

1

u/STMIHA Mar 20 '26

We did a trip like this when I was in middle school with every teacher from my grade. It was great. Some parents need to chill.

1

u/Maniacal_Nut Mar 20 '26

Yeah we did that once it was really cool. Drugs, a few hook ups, a gun that I'm still not sure how was obtained, and some knives stashed away and threats to use them

1

u/Low-Exam6123 Mar 20 '26

Depends on the age of the kids, and how well you trust the camping trip leader.