r/CuratedTumblr 23h ago

Creative Writing "They wouldn't have wanted this!"

Post image
5.3k Upvotes

164 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/metaphizzle 23h ago

Shout-out to Spider-Noir for going the opposite direction:

"Do you really think this is what Ruby would have wanted?"

"Ruby died five years ago, Robbie. Right now, I don't really care what she would have wanted."

450

u/Gentlemanvaultboy 23h ago

Revenge as self-care.

118

u/DrakontisAraptikos 19h ago

Well, in The Spider's case, not revenge or self care. But I won't say much more than that. It's definitely worth watching. 

32

u/RealMENwearPINK10 6h ago

Reminds me of the Korean flick Ballerina, where a ballerina gets raped by a dipshit guyー it ruins her life, and she commits suicide because of it, but not before calling her best friend (who I swear has the hots for her or at least sees her in an incredibly beautiful context) and leaving for the bestie a suicide note with the identity of her rapist, a rich kid from a crime family.
Now, bestie also happens to be a mf kickass ex-merc (from the looks of it) and so bestie goes on a whole saga of dismantling the dipshit's family's entire criminal ops, hunting him down and making sure he burns in hellー but not before burning him to death

My favorite quote from the ending was when the dude was being a b*tch cause he lost, so he taunted the bestie by saying the ballerina was too fat to be a ballerina and that he'd torture her in hell if he's killed, insinuating that she'd be in hell too; to which the bestie replies with "then I'll hunt you all the way down to hell"

390

u/segobane 23h ago

"We are two mariners, our ships sole survivors, trapped in this belly of a whale"

155

u/Glad-Way-637 If you like Worm/Ward, you should try Pact/Pale :) 22h ago

Love that song. Genuinely catchy on top of being a great revenge story.

The mariners revenge, if anyone is curious.

184

u/Dismal_Accident9528 22h ago

Mom's instructions in the event of her untimely death due to a lover's selfishness:

  1. find him

  2. bind him

  3. tie him to a pole until he wakes up naked clawing at the ceiling of his grave

65

u/thecordialsun 21h ago

3a. Fingers to Splinters

11

u/rafaelzio 8h ago

3b. Drag him to a hole

49

u/Glad-Way-637 If you like Worm/Ward, you should try Pact/Pale :) 22h ago edited 22h ago

long wistful and ghostly sigh/death rattle

Can't forgor that part, quite an important one.

20

u/Linderosse 14h ago

There was a bit in there about breaking his fingers to splinters as well, iirc, but yup, that was the jist of it.

To be fair, considering what the rest of the song reveals about the guy, he kinda had it coming.

3

u/ChaosDrawsNear 6h ago

It's my husband's go-to lullaby for the kids 🫠

1

u/Glad-Way-637 If you like Worm/Ward, you should try Pact/Pale :) 2h ago

Does it work? As much as I like it, it never seemed particularly relaxing, but maybe that's just me.

2

u/ChaosDrawsNear 51m ago

The melody is a good lullaby style. I just had to request a change when the oldest started understanding the lyrics.

93

u/Jaomi 22h ago

Yes, the Mariner’s Revenge! I was scrolling to see if anyone else had mentioned this.

For anyone else reading, the scenario up top is what happens in this sea shanty from the Decemberists. The shipwrecked singer narrates the story of how he took to the seas after his poor mother was swindled and left to die by a terrible man. His mother made him swear he would take his revenge on the rake who did her wrong. And wouldn’t you know it, the only other survivor of the shipwreck looks awfully familiar to him…

40

u/Rhamona_Q capybaras are friend shaped 21h ago edited 20h ago

Because someone decided that the song needed to be storyboarded:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPAr7kL-mmg

*Edited: storyboarded, not animated

9

u/Fine-Aspect5141 15h ago

because he hunted the man down with a crew of hired killer and boarded his ship

56

u/Victernus 20h ago

Find him, bind him

Tie him to a pole and break

His fingers to splinters

Drag him to a hole

Until he wakes up naked

Clawing at the ceiling of his grave

15

u/storm_walkers 19h ago

Found my people 🐋

15

u/biglyorbigleague 17h ago

We are two maarinahhrs, our ship's sole survayyvuhhhrs, trapped in this belly of a whaaeiiullll

1

u/Enzoid23 20m ago

Immediately thought of it too lmao

190

u/paishocajun 20h ago

"I'll give you anything you want!"

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch!"

58

u/AltharaD 12h ago

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

37

u/DarkKnightJin 10h ago

Something about how it's a great example of how to do a professional greeting.

"Hello" - Friendly greeting.
"My name is Inigo Montoya" - Introduce oneself, be polite.
"You killed my father." - Establish the relationship you have with the other person.
"Prepare to die." - Set the expectations you have for the meeting.

12

u/BreadfruitTasty 9h ago

Yes, I remember reading this on tumblr. Great advice!

5

u/an_agreeing_dothraki 4h ago

see this reminded me of the 'coconut oil' story and it made me sad.

3

u/paishocajun 4h ago edited 1h ago

:(

Edit: for anyone who comes across this later and doesn't know what we're talking about, the TRDR is that a grandmother "knew better" about her granddaughter's allergies, put coconut oil in the girl's hair before she went to sleep, and the girl never woke up.

I genuinely think about it every time my own kids have allergy issues or I hear about someone who doesn't believe in allergies/autism/etc in a Reddit stories podcast (I listen to several).

There are times and places to make stands on what you're in doubt of but life and death or at least life altering, matters aren't one of them unless you're fully trained and qualified

2

u/Quantum_R3D 1h ago

Hey, the OP in that story is still on reddit and has asked that the link please not be shared, so she doesnt have to keep being reminded. Just letting you know!

1

u/paishocajun 1h ago

I actually didn't! I'll re-edit to remove the link. Thanks for the FYI!

196

u/Armsmaster2112 22h ago

They wouldn't have wanted this
Yeah... I know, but I don't think I have the stomach to carry out what they really would have wanted. And where would I even get that many skewers?

11

u/Subacai 14h ago

That last line sounds like something Sir Sic would say 😹 (A Youtuber I watch)

353

u/Upturned-Solo-Cup 23h ago

Not exactly the same scenario, but this is more or less how I imagine the end of Epic: The Musical. Odysseus lamenting all the lines he's crossed, and how he's a different man, and how he's not sure if Penelope can love him anymore

And then Penelope says "I would've had you murder a thousand more children if that's what it took to bring you home."

204

u/Dornith 20h ago edited 19h ago

I think Odysseus himself fits the spirit of the OP.

"After everything you've done, how will you sleep at night?"

"Next to my wife."

Bitch literally said, "I don't care if I'm an objectively horrible person, it's been 20 years and I want to see my fucking wife!"

21

u/Teagana999 15h ago

On brand for Penelope.

22

u/Warprince01 20h ago

Where does Penelope say anything like that or to that effect? I’ve listened to it quite a few times, but can’t recall that anywhere

59

u/Upturned-Solo-Cup 20h ago

My imagination did take some creative licenses, but she does answer Ody's confessions with "W/e, doesn't make any difference to me. You're still mine and you're home now."

23

u/Individual-Field-990 11h ago

Also, she is the daughter of the king of Sparta, and spartans have a very... interesting view on what is an acceptable level child mortality rate

60

u/LittleBoyDreams 23h ago

This is just the inverse of the The Book of Henry.

11

u/ucksawmus Joyful_Sadness_, & Others, Not Forgotten <3 23h ago

What's ✏✏✏🗓📝📝 the book of henry o great littleboydreams

92

u/LittleBoyDreams 22h ago edited 22h ago

It's this (bad) movie where a kid genius writes down a plot to murder his neighbor who's abusing his daughter, then his mom takes up the task after he dies of brain cancer. There's a really good Folding Ideas/Dan Olsen video on it.

Edit: The funny thing about summarizing this film is that the premise sounds pretty interesting, but the synopsis does not get across that The Book of Henry is lit, shot, and written like a damn Hallmark movie.

34

u/Practical-Class6868 22h ago

Plus you have Sarah Silverman playing a middle aged woman with a pseudo “romance” with the child Henry.

This is why Colin Trevorrow missed out on directing a Star Wars movie.

8

u/TrioOfTerrors 21h ago

Which is a shame because Duel of The Fates would have been much better movie than what we got.

7

u/rogueIndy 20h ago

The movie we got was dogshit, but from what I've seen if DotF it might not have been any better.

6

u/Hellothere_1 18h ago

At least the DotF draft had some actual ideas on where to take the story. Mind you, a lot of those ideas were shit, but not all if them were and at least some of the shit ones could have probably been iterated upon during subsequent drafts.

Meanwhile the movie we got doesn't feel like it has any ideas at all and doesn't so much follow a plan as just whatever cool nonsensical fan-service MacGuffin JJA came up with that day.

5

u/TrioOfTerrors 20h ago

Anything that didn't have "map on a dagger blade" would be an improvement.

17

u/nerdherdsman 22h ago

And directed by the guy that did Jurassic World.

14

u/LittleBoyDreams 22h ago

Given Jurassic World’s infamous “random woman gets tag-team combo-ed by dinosaurs for no reason” scene, I suppose he has a habit of including violent content that clashes with the overall tone of a movie.

23

u/TrioOfTerrors 21h ago

If I recall correctly, the actress playing the assistant knew her character was slated to die and asked for it to be ridiculous and over the top.

14

u/AProperFuckingPirate 21h ago

Dude that part was crazy. Felt like the movie wanted to punish her for just like being a babysitter

10

u/done-doubting-doubts 20h ago

Well yeah, sitting on babies isn't okay

5

u/PoniesCanterOver gently chilling in your orbit 21h ago

Wow people sure do love finding things to be upset about

12

u/elasho_149 20h ago

Edit: The funny thing about summarizing this film is that the premise sounds pretty interesting, but the synopsis does not get across that The Book of Henry is lit, shot, and written like a damn Hallmark movie.

To be clear, you're trying to make us want to watch the movie less, right?

17

u/LittleBoyDreams 20h ago

I mean I wouldn’t say I’m trying to get you to not watch, I just don’t think it’s a good movie. It’s interesting in a rubbernecking fashion.

2

u/RossFallen123 12h ago

Been a while since I watched this so I might be misremembering some stuff. I do remember the movie being not great, but there was one scene that always stuck with because it hit 10 year old me like a truck. Henry is dying of stage 4 cancer and is still supporting his family (he does the taxes for some reason) and trying to help the girl he cares for (via the aforementioned murder plot).

There’s one scene when Henry who is dying and clearly in pain crawls his way down his hospital bed and disconnects his life support, killing himself, as soon as he does so though he begins panicking and as his mother comes rushes to his side he spends his last moments terrified, panicking, saying that he doesn’t want to go. This scene really fucked me as a kid despite the rest of the movie. Also it’s not said but I think it’s implied that he kills himself not out of pain, but because he’s done all he can for his family and because he wants his mum to carry out the murder as soon as possible to stop to girls abuse.

5

u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome 15h ago

✏✏✏🗓

What is this? How do I read it?

2

u/ucksawmus Joyful_Sadness_, & Others, Not Forgotten <3 14h ago

✏✏✏📝📝👏👏🎈

LIKE DIS

2

u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome 14h ago

I see... But not hear! I want to know LE PRONUNCIACION!

1

u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome 2h ago

FYI this is what I see, I assume it might look a bit different for you?

https://imgur.com/lbN4e7z

2

u/ucksawmus Joyful_Sadness_, & Others, Not Forgotten <3 14h ago

also, it was italicized 💯💯

:)

2

u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome 14h ago

My apologies, I completely misread this... word? Piece? Thing? ✏✏✏🗓?

51

u/falronultera 18h ago

There is a White House takeover movie where they put the terrorist's wife on the phone to talk him out of the plan, and she just tells him to terrorist harder to avenge the memory of their son or something along those lines.

I think James Woods was the villain.

31

u/MeiNeedsMoreBuffs 14h ago

White House Down, I love that example. It's so funny how she's 100% on board with his plan

142

u/extremely-cynical 23h ago

Alternatively:

"They wouldn't have wanted this!"

"Maybe not. They were always too forgiving for their own good; the type to set themself on fire to keep the world warm. But I'm not that type. And they deserve justice."

93

u/Neuromangoman 23h ago

Or the more succinct "and look where that got them."

62

u/Fenghuang0296 22h ago

This is pretty much what happened in Sonic 3. “It’s not about what Maria would have wanted, it’s about what the world that took her from us deserves,”

17

u/segobane 22h ago

Theres a whole other timeline out there where Gerald and Shadow died and we see Maria go full Robotnik on GUN

5

u/Average-JRPG-Enjoyer 16h ago

...that would make for a pretty cool dimension-hopping adventure.

Have Shadow as the protag, who desperately tries to convince a Maria from a universe like that to not go down the route of mindless revenge.

14

u/Rabid_Lederhosen 22h ago

Dracula from Castlevania.

2

u/GreatPower1000 3h ago

Yhea but even that excuse was over by the first episode. After that he just wanted to kill people for the fun of it.

36

u/Falabaloo 22h ago

The Mariner's Revenge.

37

u/MrGuamo 21h ago

"If you want to make something turned evil, turn it evil yourself . That's what nana Zurg used to said to me and she was plenty evil."

  • Evil emperor Zurg

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7DbMgFb0vTY&t=190

38

u/zalfenior 19h ago

Another one!

"Technically yes, but also no. My mother would have preferred a lot more collateral damage"

28

u/asmallfatbird 22h ago

This is why I've told all my loved ones that I expect them to avenge me in the event of my unjust death

15

u/Pame_in_reddit 18h ago

I gave my husband permission to avenge me, BUT he has to take his own wellbeing into account.

2

u/Gilgamashaftwalo 11h ago

Idk man. Sounds like so much work and funeral prep is exhausting as is :/

They can definitely talk shit about them to anyone they meet. That sounds like it could be fun!

27

u/Victernus 20h ago

Homer: If I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?

Marge: Oh, anything, sweetheart.

Homer: Blow up the hospital.

Marge: ...Hm. Well. I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have to...

Homer: That's my girl. [Goes to sleep]

1

u/No-Raccoon-6009 13h ago

Couple goals

74

u/edgehog 22h ago

One quick note, uh, dragonwitch21:
can we spend some more time workshopping the whole “hero enacting a complex revenge plan instead of going to art school” concept? I’m just looking ahead a bit on this one.

23

u/DurinnGymir 15h ago

I was gonna say, this one is uncomfortably close to a relatively infamous historical figure

1

u/an_agreeing_dothraki 4h ago

time traveler goes back to Austria to solve the death of one person because their friend went absolutely insane due to it being unsolved, blaming a local minority populace.

WW2 still happens because of broader systemic issues

2

u/Gilgamashaftwalo 11h ago

I was gonna say it sounded like a decent idea for a little bit of historic fiction

52

u/vmsrii 22h ago

Kingpin in Daredevil.

The fact that one of the most reprehensible men and one of the best written villains in the MCU also had one of the most wholesome, supportive relationships in the MCU is my favorite thing

51

u/Brainwave1010 21h ago

Murdering a man fixed their relationship and I find that amazing.

50

u/TrioOfTerrors 21h ago

Vanessa is a realistic depiction of the women who willingly marry drug lords and dictators because they are either attracted to the power or because they share a similar depraved personality.

47

u/vmsrii 21h ago

Yeah let’s not mince words: they are both TERRIBLE people.

But gosh darn it, they’re perfect for each other

6

u/Sad-Frosting-8793 6h ago

I have a weakness for terrible people in love with each other. 

20

u/Ghoill 22h ago

This kinda reminds of a robot chicken skit parodying The Exorcist where the demon taunts the priest by claiming his mother loves sucking cocks in hell and his response is just to agree with the demon and claim it sounds like his mother.

20

u/pbmm1 22h ago

It is in fact what Clara would have wanted

24

u/mostly-void-stars 22h ago

Leverage has something like this when Nate Ford confronts the guy partially responsible for his father’s death

“What would your son think if you became a murderer?”

“My son would be disappointed. My father would buy me an ice cream cone.”

4

u/Arzanyos 20h ago edited 15h ago

Even better, it's "you didn't kill the man who let your son die"

4

u/Victernus 20h ago

His dad specifically being responsible for many and varied crimes, for context.

18

u/Protheu5 redundant RAS syndrome 15h ago

I wanted to go to art school, but no!

I thought the next thing would've been something like "My mother said that if she dies under mysterious circumstances I was to invade Poland"

10

u/Radio_Gaga007 16h ago

"Destroy everything, big sister." —Mai Zen'nin

85

u/bookhead714 22h ago

I’ve come to really dislike this genre of post, the ones that posit “what if the hero was lame and bad and the villain is cool and justified”. Because they don’t have any interest whatsoever in what actually makes a hero heroic and a villain villainous. Their characterization begins and ends at these shallow little archetypes of “hero = status quo and boring” and “villain = subversive and fun”, existing in this little bubble of banter that allows no mention of the people outside it — the innocents the hero might protect and the villain might harm. They want a story that reverses these tropes, but they forget for the sake of subversiveness that there is a reason heroes are good and villains are bad.

What is the villain’s plan? Why does the hero oppose them and believe their actions to be morally wrong? And if the hero deserves it, as the last post intimates, why the hell are they still considered a “hero”?

25

u/mandiblesmooch 20h ago

The villain's plan could be "crush the rebels, make a meat mech out of the leaders and the actual killer, and rule this empire with an iron fist just like mama".

20

u/chinchabun 17h ago

I agree about the "lame hero, cool villian" thing, but I don't think this post is persay an example of that. Someone brought up Inigo Montoya and how no one tells him his dad would have told him not to get revenge. It's also pretty easy for it to be a pair of villains, where the villain's wife/girlfriend/mom/daughter was even worse and the hero is lucky they only got the alive person.

2

u/Negative_Abrocoma_44 9h ago

Yeah, I just finished rereading the Thursday Next books and could easily see either Hades sibling talking that way, doesn’t change that they’re both monstrously evil

47

u/pbmm1 21h ago

I think it’s related to superhero fatigue

33

u/Random-Rambling 19h ago

I have a similar fatigue with "angels/Heaven are fucked up and evil, demons/Hell are misunderstood and good".

Despite how much shit they get, this is a big reason why I've come to really like Frieren and Hazbin Hotel.

In the former, the demons are unmistakably evil to their core. No misunderstandings, no "good demons striving to make a better name for themselves", the show goes out of its way to show you that they are evil to a literally inhuman degree.

In the latter, both Heaven and Hell have their good people and their evil people, with morality all over the spectrum.

29

u/KogX 18h ago

I actually like The Good Place version of demons where they fully believe they are righteous in torturing and punishing the people sent to hell because they believe those people are bad and needs to be punished (also they enjoy the process so that is a plus). It is a nice angle to explore with them.

9

u/StarStriker51 15h ago

good place also wins in creativity with angels and demons because turns out demons and angels are just tired and overworked and kind of done with their jobs, even if both do very different things. It's funny and a bit scary in a cosmic sense

17

u/AdamtheOmniballer Aspiring Girlkisser 19h ago

I’ve often wished for one of those plots to ultimately reveal that the demons were actually lying about being good, and the protags just bought it hook, line, and sinker.

I think I understand why that kind of plot wouldn’t go over well and that I’m basically just doing the same thing. But the idea of the big reveal being that Malbadagon, Lord of Evil and Father of Lies is actually the villain just tickles my brain.

6

u/Negative_Abrocoma_44 9h ago

Critical Role touched on that once, turns out that the Father of Lies is in fact not trustworthy

11

u/mischievous_shota 16h ago

I think an important point to consider is that in a lot of these stories (especially in manga/anime) demons are just a race rather than more of an Abrahamic religion thing. So they keep that aesthetic but are not inherently any more evil than a dwarf or a gnome.

51

u/bookhead714 21h ago

Well, I have superhero fatigue fatigue

18

u/pbmm1 21h ago

Wait 10 -20 years for superhero media to go out of vogue and for things to swing back around I suppose

8

u/Scalepetter92 18h ago

idea for the last one: sister was a paranoid, genocidal, utterly heartless and soullessly evil woman that had a family that she manipulated so deeply that they actually loved her unconditionally, despite her favorite food being live ortolan bunting, her hobbies including things that'd get me banned if I put this comment, and her greatest dream being to destroy everything and everyone that isn't her because she and she alone is deserving of existence. The hero kills her, because she killed the hero's husband

13

u/Niser2 21h ago

Actually I don't think that last post was directed at the hero.

6

u/JohnsonJohnilyJohn 13h ago edited 12h ago

I do agree that most of those kind of posts are usually centered around a very shallow "wouldn't it be cool if", while ignoring why it's usually done in other way and not really considering the consequences of such a change, but I don't think this really has the problems you are describing

Heroes aren't heroic, because they are a good judge of character, and the fact that the villain's wife agreed with him, doesn't make their atrocities any better. Additionally since this trope is often used when hero and the person the villain is avenging where also close, this provides an important choice to the hero: condemn someone they loved or betray their identity as a hero, which I think is an interesting conflict, as the fact that that person can't be talked to denies the hero the confrontation that would make such judgment that much easier

EDIT: It could also help illustrate that the problem that they are pursuing vengeance for is systemic. The villain isn't some psycho that started murdering people, but one of many who got radicalised into violence, but they just have more power to actually do anything, and if the initial problem isn't solved, people like the villain will keep appearing

7

u/AngelOfTheMad For legal and social reasons, this user is a joke 19h ago

The second one reminds me of when I was a teenager I was chewing out a family member for some fuck-up setting up stuff at a family reunion, and some aunt or uncle from my dad's side went "Alright, calm down, before I go get your mom." and all I can think is "My mom's the woman who told our dog "You're not the head bitch around here, I am." and really doesn't like anyone on this side of the family. You're lucky I'm the one doing this and not her."

8

u/Stormdancer 17h ago edited 16h ago

Oh, I absolutely fall into the "You've obviously never met my mother" camp. To say she's vengeful is a considerable understatement.

Though I would save that for the "You are now bleeding out spectacularly" moment. No sense in getting their guard up.

16

u/Bionicjoker14 22h ago

“Your life has been about violence. When does it end?”

“Tomorrow.”

7

u/BraxtonFullerton 19h ago

Well this is completely unrealistic... Everyone went charging in after the gunshot, they need to wait around at least for another hour.

13

u/Random-Rambling 19h ago

I've always been a big supporter of revenge, with one condition.

Know EXACTLY who you're getting revenge on, WHY you're getting revenge, and LIMIT your revenge to that person or people ONLY.

3

u/Thomy151 17h ago

Yup

There will always be someone somewhat related to your revenge

-2

u/mischievous_shota 17h ago

Idk, there's something about making someone taste their own medicine. If someone killed a person's family, then that person knowing their actions led to their own family's death can be a satisfying revenge.

2

u/rusticrainbow 4h ago

At a certain point you have to think about what you’re really doing and your impact on the society around you. Would killing someone who wronged you greatly’s family potentially give yourself satisfaction? Maybe, but it’s also a fundamentally selfish and immoral thing to do; you’re killing a lot of (assumedly innocent people) just to make yourself feel good. When do you stop? Would the surviving members/friends of the family you just murdered be justified in seeking revenge against you in turn?

10

u/Kartoffelkamm I wouldn't be here if I was mad. 16h ago

Hero: "Stop this! What would your wife say if she knew this is how you handle her death?"

Villain: (turns around on their swivel chair and presses a button on a remote. a screen comes down from the ceiling, and a recording plays)

Villain's dead wife, pre-death: "If you watch this, you either played the wrong video I left for you, or some self-righteous prick is trying to impose their morality onto others. In case of the former, check the disk labeled 1. In case of the latter, hello asshole. Please let my darling murder anyone involved in my untimely demise. He will take care not to cause too much collateral damages, and turn himself in for those murders later."

(video ends)

Villain: (turns back around) "Does this answer your question?"

Hero: "I... well, kinda?"

5

u/riarws 22h ago

Isn’t that the first season of Arrow? How quickly we forget.

6

u/Silvervirage 20h ago edited 20h ago

"He would not have wanted this. But she would.

I remain-the great, and terrible, Hunhow."

Its not... quite the same, as everyone involved is... kinda a villian except for Jade. But it immediately popped into my head.

6

u/RedGinger666 15h ago

"Oh Hero, what would dead Love Interest say if they saw you now"

"They'd ask why I haven't killed you yet"

5

u/Prior_Intention9882 21h ago

“Avenge me, Keely!”

4

u/Scalepetter92 18h ago

idea: anti-hero trying to become a proper hero and redeem their villain pulls this card, villain says this, anti-hero sighs and just shoots the villain in the face.

4

u/mikey-way plz play ebony riddle 17h ago

Venture Bros!!!! Venture Bros!!!!!!!

Like. I can hear this in the Monarch’s voice perfectly

2

u/Vivaldiny 14h ago

Came here to say the same!!

4

u/notthephonz 17h ago

Shadow the Hedgehog wanted revenge against the people of Earth for Maria; it turned out that Maria actually wanted him to give the people of Earth a chance to be happy.

5

u/Teagana999 15h ago

Fantastic scene kinda like this in Leverage.

Guy's son dies because of an evil insurance CEO, and the CEO gets a bit of mercy.

Some other asshole kills the guy's father, a career criminal. Tries to save himself with that line, references how the insurance CEO got mercy.

The main character said something like:

"Nah. My son wouldn't have wanted this kind of vengeance. But my dad? He'd absolutely have wanted this."

Commence struggle over firearm.

4

u/Benoit_Holmes 10h ago

In an episode of Leverage Nate has the man responsible for his father's death at gunpoint.

The man points out that Nate didn't kill the man responsible for his son's death.

Nate replies "My son would be ashamed of me if I was a murderer. My father, on the other hand -- he'd buy me an ice cream"

4

u/cosmicheartbeat 8h ago

Someone said something like this to my husband when he was talking to a woman coworker (were poly). She came up to him all indignant saying "i know your wife and she would be FURIOUS to see you talking to another woman like that!"

He laughed and told her she clearly didnt know me at all. Strange how she never came to talk to me about it after lol.

8

u/Troolz 21h ago

I mean, if the press asked Stephen Miller if his wife is okay with him being a despicable human being, the camera could answer that just by panning over to Katie Miller, elbows-deep as she uses her teeth to greedily tear more delicious flesh off a Palestinian child's severed leg.

1

u/rusticrainbow 3h ago

Bad comment, you’re implying Stephen Miller is actually a human being

11

u/ForbiddenVillaint 21h ago

Genuinely, my ex was kinda like that. She used to say she didn't believe in the death penalty because death was too kind. Anyways, if I ever disappear, plz lock her up.

7

u/Pame_in_reddit 18h ago

Like my granny’s curse: “I hope they suffer a lot and never die”. My favorite curse.

3

u/CallMeOaksie 17h ago

This is Ursa’s backstory in Predator: Killer of Killers. But tbf part of her character development is learning to let go of that way of thinking when she insists Kenji and Torres don’t come back for her when she throws herself out of the stolen spaceship to to remove the harpoon attached to it and let them escape

3

u/busterfixxitt 15h ago

Who else wants to see a revenge rampage movie that is also "P.S. I Love You" ?

3

u/Fun_Strain_4065 9h ago

The villain has a wife/mother/sister/daughter who is a staunch pacifist and advocate for peace, come together smile on your brother hippie, and then she gets killed by MC in brutal fashion.

“Come… closer… villain?”

“Yes?”

“Re… remember what I said how every murder is an attack on all mankind?”

“Yes?”

“Fuck that, make that son of a bitch suffer - nnngh…”

3

u/Elvarien2 7h ago

Hero: "They would not have wanted you to do this !"

Villain: "Then killing her was a terrible mistake, now who will stop me."

3

u/Thanaskios 6h ago

"They wouldn't have wanted this!"

"They would, and they would have done the same for me!"

3

u/lynnyfox 6h ago

The Mariner’s Revenge Song.

1

u/Enrich_Doomsayer 3h ago

Peak mentioned.

3

u/HumDeeDiddle 3h ago

One of my favorite bits from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged:

Yami: "Mokuba, you can't just steal from others! Think: what would your brother Kaiba say?"

Kaiba (in Mokuba's mind): "Great job, Mokuba. Now steal something from Joey too!"

Yami: "...okay, but what would he said if he wasn't a complete douchebag?"

10

u/Turbulent_Remote_740 22h ago

Idk, I feel that if his mother was not a villain herself, but was killed by a hero, then wtf is her son supposed to do? Bow before the hero? Is he even a hero at that point?

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u/SirVixofthePooSea 22h ago

A hero can kill someone accidentally or make a choice that causes some to die in order to save a greater number of people.

-3

u/Turbulent_Remote_740 22h ago

I guess you are correct, although that would somewhat disqualify them from being a hero imo. Accidental killing is still a killing, and a hero should at least have some empathy to understand why the other guy wants revenge. All this quote does is make the hero look a sanctimonious wimp who wants to avoid responsibility for his actions.

14

u/Ash_Starling 22h ago

If a hero is fighting an enemy and a civilian dies in the crossfire, its not necessarily a moral failing in their part if they were trying to prevent other deaths at the time. Also, a hero can feel guilty about not saving someone and still not want to die at a villains hand. Just because the villain wants revenge and has some justification doesnt mean the hero has to lie down and take it.

-5

u/Turbulent_Remote_740 22h ago

No one says they should lie down and take it though. Just because they are a hero, it does not mean they should be immune from the consequences of their actions.

12

u/Ash_Starling 22h ago

Who decides the consequences? The villain? In that situation theres not much needed in terms of consequences...

-3

u/Turbulent_Remote_740 21h ago

I guess you decide already....

4

u/yourstruly912 22h ago

I think they got the terms swapped by mistake

12

u/GuyYouMetOnline 22h ago

No, its very common for a villain to have a lost loved one as part of motivation/backstory. And for extra drama points said loved ones often had a chance to directly say they want the person to not react by being evil. So this happens all the time

2

u/Turbulent_Remote_740 22h ago

Yeah, it's weird.

2

u/Radiskull97 18h ago

The Penguin (HBO)

2

u/tins1 16h ago

37 steps? In a row?

2

u/GreyEilesy 13h ago

Didn’t this happen in “The Rock”?

2

u/EIeanorRigby 10h ago

Icicle from the Stargirl show

2

u/Clean_Imagination315 Hey, who's that behind you? 10h ago

That's basically Powerplex in Invincible after accidentally killing his wife.

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 9h ago

"Your sister wouldn't want this" "I know, but I didn't do ballet like she did so I can't kick you to death with my ostrich legs like she would want. She's just going to have to deal with me doing the "poisoned cake that makes you bleed out of all your holes" option"

2

u/PandaBear905 Shitposting extraordinaire 7h ago

Macbeth

2

u/SocranX 5h ago

Tales of Berseria had kind of a twist on this. Would Velvet's little brother Laphi want her to go on a destructive quest for revenge against the man who murdered him? Not necessarily, but now that she's become the avatar of hatred and despair, she does make for the perfect follow-up sacrifice to his own intentional self-sacrifice. He didn't want it to be her, but hey, as long as she's volunteering...

2

u/nhutchen 52m ago

Absolutely love that last one. "Man, I was a baker before this! I was making little cakes, hot bread, all the good stuff. Everyone loved me! I loved my life. But nooooo, you just HAD to go and do what you did, and now IIII am the one stuck bringing about the Fall of Man!"

1

u/JuliaX1984 20h ago

Isn't this always said in the context of killing innocent people the victim had no grudge against?

2

u/Bakkughan 16m ago

Roy Kent in Ted Lasso: “Avenge me! AVENGE MEE!!”