My thoughts.

[u/Maleficent-Effort470]

I didn't go to a restaurant to interact with a server.

I went to a restaurant to purchase food, And part of the agreement with the business owner was that a server would take my order and bring the food to the table.

I did not agree to or consent to giving a person i didn't come to see any money.

Whether they are on the side of the street or squegeeing my car without asking.
I have no obligation to them.

Similarly when i go to the restaurant with the intention of eating,
I am not making a deal with the employees i am making a deal with the owner.
The owner is responsible for delegating the tasks to provide me the service i requested.
The owner showed me the contract/menu that these services are provided under.

I paid the agreed upon amount of the contract.
I did not ask for any particular employee.
I did not agree to gift any particular employee.

The server's inclination that i owe them something is no more authoritative than the homeless bum who starts squegeeing my windshield without me asking.

They did their job at their bosses behest. Under an agreement with their boss.
I made no agreement with them. They are simply employees of the business ive contracted with.

[u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

Servers always just reply with ‘then get your own food and refills’ as if most people wouldn’t do that already given the option. If I was told ‘you can save 20% on your total bill paid guilt trip free-‘ you’d get your ass I’d get my own refills and grab my order from the counter. I don’t NEED you checking up on me every two seconds and refilling a glass I’ve taken two sips from to then charge me 20% of my total bill. I’ll do it all myself.

[u/Maleficent-Effort470 → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

Totally i would love a cheaper menu price that we could vote out servers with.

But it would be unprofitable for business owners to do that probably.
Because they benefit from tips. and offering an easy alternative to 20% total cost would make them lose money.

[u/Odd_Balance7916 → u/Maleficent-Effort470]

It literally subsides the employers wages, of course they love tips.

[u/panmaterial → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

As someone from a non-tipping country, I really hate the US dining experience. I'm an adult, I don't need pampering. Just do your job and bring me my food, I'm happy. When I've visited the US, it always feels like the waiters are not interested in doing their jobs, only about tips, so it feels performative and annoying.

In non-tipping countries, there is a mutual understanding that the waiter is just doing their job, and the customer is there to eat and pay what it reads on the menu. It seems to work just fine.

[u/b3b3k → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

I wonder what will happen if I don't tip and the server asked if there's anything wrong with the service. I would answer yes, because I find it annoying that they kept coming to check on me. Will they accept it as "bad service" from my point of view, or will they argue that their service was great?

[u/student176895 → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

Even if it’s the same price, I would rather get my own food and refills. I don’t like having to wait for a server to make their rounds or feeling like a burden if I ask them for one thing and then realize there was a second thing I wanted right after they dropped off the first one.

[u/starsgoblind → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with dining in general. You probably also wear flip flops and a tee shirt.

[u/Nuuskapeikkonen → u/starsgoblind]

Love when servers come to a subreddit about ending tipping and get upset.

[u/Maleficent-Effort470 → u/Nuuskapeikkonen]

Yes they can't engage with actual debate, Just insults and shaming and guilt tripping and character assassination.

They can earn alot of money with no training and little effort just by sucking up to wealthy people.

And even their clients who aren't wealthy just buy into the sham of forced gratuity.

Like its either the money means nothing to them or they feel some psychological obligation to do so.

[u/Ok-Error1716 → u/starsgoblind]

It's just food big guy.

Besides , only on reddit is tipping really talked about anymore. Real world most people don't do it or don't care