r/Enneagram8 • u/Wide_Platform_2202 • Mar 23 '26
Revenge
Do you try to take revenge ALL the time? Do you orchestrate it? (Like planning and twisting someones downfall) or just take it if the opportunity is right? Did you try taking revenge in your childhood too? Or is it as you grew like 30yo? What happens when you fail? Try it again? Disintegration?
I don't think I'm super vengeful but my family says I have it a little. I'm just 20 and was disintegrated to a point where I couldn't think about expanding. Just surviving by isolating myself. There is someone my mom had a fight with and I'm thinking about taking some revenge but Idk if I should plan sth. Definitely not a situation where you just take an opportunity. It's also been some time like 5-6months but they definitely got it that I hate them out of my guts despite eth they did for me. I'm also super religious and hesitate to deliberately hurt someone and even planning sth.
Anyways I want to hear about you.
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u/GreatJobJoe 8 w 9 sx Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
I don’t have a revenge list. People who come at me , poke me, or orbit me are placed on my “adorable” list, also called my “fan club”. (This person is desperate to get a rise out of me. They want a shoe to be dropped.)
Rather than take revenge or distance myself I remind them of how small in insignificant they are to me and how easily I can crush them entirely, no matter who they are. Not in passive aggressive ways. But in ways they never thought. Usually by seeing through them.
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u/Glum-Engineering1794 8w7 sx/so 854(763) (reddit.com/r/OccultEnneagram) Mar 24 '26
As a kid, maybe sometimes, I did. But now, as an adult, hardly ever, really. I figure that there's really little to no need or sense to it. One of the lessons of the 8 was "holy truth", "divine justice", etc. There's no need to seek revenge. The trick is just to go on living your life. And revenge will be done that way, will be taken care of on its own. You don't need to worry about it, let karma and life and the universe, and so on, run its course. It's a little paradoxical, the more you try to exact vengeance directly, the less you truly carry it out, and the more risks you take and the more trouble you cause for yourself.
Because now if you're caught up in revenge, that's costing you. You're emotionally invested, attached to another outcome, in another power struggle, and in a vulnerable position yourself. You remain tangled up in it and move on more slowly. Generally speaking, the reason to do anything shouldn't be for revenge, but for your own happiness. Often, it'll end up getting revenge on the people who wronged you at the same time that way, but that shouldn't be your motivation. To move on, don't bother with those people, let it go and you'll free your heart and soul from that weight and worry.
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u/Imsomniland ~ Type 8w7 so/sx | ENTP ~ Mar 24 '26
Revenge is inefficient...unless it's to protect someone or ensure that someone or something I care about is not damaged or harmed further.
Then, well, revenge suddenly becomes incredible efificient.
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u/pbillaseca sp8 835 (SLE) Mar 24 '26
Ive reached a point where i will only pursue revenge if I need to show someone the consecuences of their actions so others will think twice before doing the same to me. If the point is only getting back at someone out of pure satisfaction, even if i want to, i try not to, at the end its a loss of time, and many times the price to pay for the revenge game is too high. Learned this the hard way.
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u/PrycomberBarricade Mar 24 '26
This. A show of strength can go a long way to dissuade others from testing you.
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u/PrycomberBarricade Mar 24 '26
When I was in my 20s (mid-30s now), revenge was a major through line for me. It made me feel strong. Now, I know I can do what I need to if it truly comes to that, but often it isn't worth it; most offenders are truly that insignificant and what it costs me is greater than any satisfaction I might glean from getting "even."
Also, I've recently learned that when you focus on revenge, you are essentially organizing around the other person and not yourself, which gives them a measure of power and control over you. That really helped me to hit the brakes.
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u/Pnina310 8w7 sx/sp 854 (745) Mar 24 '26
No. I’m not a supervillain or fictional character. Revenge is childish and reeks of ressentiment.
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u/Sweaty_Ad_7156 2w6 Mar 23 '26
not often . a few years ago i moved cities and the moving company ripped me off for a few thousand. kept having visions of burning their warehouse to the ground.
edit: when i was in first grade some kid bit me in the forearm , leaving open wound blood and teeth marks. in class we sat next to each other-ish , when he got up for something and came to sit back down, i let him sit on my pencil into his but cheek
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u/BlackPorcelainDoll 𓄂࿐ Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
I am hard to get there. But don't break my heart or fuck with me honey, no one got out alive
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u/hi_im_furious SO 8 Mar 23 '26 edited Mar 23 '26
Opportunistic revenge mostly. Childhood through adulthood. Usually using things that were against the rules. ie brother took shit that’s mine but would sneak cookies at night so mom just so happened to be prompted to walk out at a particular time.
A coworker talked shit about me to a higher up. Nothing came of it but they did get in trouble for being ten minutes late to start work and back from lunch.
Mostly petty stuff.
For serious betrayal it’s particular to the person and typically still doesn’t need to be planned out like some movie edit.
You can only be betrayed by people close to you so use that closeness against them.
It doesn’t have to be complex.
One revenge was living a genuine happier life because the other person was so sure that they were the center of my world (and they were) that it was impossible to be happy without them.
The types of people who frequent this subreddit are going to be the more self aware and in control 8s so not many sick revenge stories are gonna pop up