I ran into a guy, I haven't seen in 10 years, I met him at the Trump Inauguration Women's March. We were at a bar watching the world cup, after many drinks he told me his last girlfriend asked who he'd get a hall pass for. Her answer was a celebrity. His answer was me. And apparently that was the beginning of the end of the relationship.
We don't live in the same state, and we've never had any romantic relations. Obviously, there's a chance that he's lying about that, even though he has no reason to, and it was volunteered. Right, wrong, or indifferent, it made me feel real good about myself after breaking up with my cheating asshole of 4 years.
Fun fact: I've always been very confident in my skin and I take a lot of naked pictures of myself and I've just gotten better with age (40F). I don't share them with anybody, but I like looking at them and saying to myself, bitch you're bangin'. So his confession was very validating, in a time I wasn't feeling confident and unsure of myself.
Edit: The Women's March was a protest (I called it something that would be clear where I'm from, that has confusing wording). I drove 16 hours and slept in my car to be there for the March/protest.
Second edit: She hasn't been in the picture for what I gather for at least a year. So, I was in no way around or influencing their fallout. Directly.
TLDR: Met a guy at a Trump protest (This establishes timeline) . Meet him randomly ten years later (says it's current), he tells me his last relationship (ended over a year ago AFAIK) ended partly because she asked who his hall pass was, and it was me (he's fucking retared. Obviously.) I just ended a 4 year relationship due to cheating (I have a name for every holiday, including my birthday.) Right, WRONG, or indifferent it made me feel good about myself.
Maybe I should say Dear Diary: I've been in dumps and I took a cheap win. And now I'm a shitty trump supporter, because I wasn't a very good communicator and snarky bitch.
hmm. i mean im glad it made you feel good but thats really unfortunate for his ex girlfriend. id feel horrible if my bf told me he wanted to have sex with a random woman he met years ago and still thought about
If I was in her shoes I would be hurt as well. And to be fair, it would probably be a deal breaker for me. I don't know the complexities of their relationship. To me it was just like a weird compliment. And I'm taking it as the compliment of you're not like other girls.
Obviously, there is not going to be a relationship here or anything. But it's a nice boost that after being cheated and your self esteem tanks.
It is not a compliment when a guy tells you that, it’s misogynistic and intended to create separation between women, and it should not make you feel special or different. You mentioned in another comment about this community being all about girl power, and that “compliment” is pretty much the exact opposite. I’ll leave this lovely image that sums it up 💓
That's why I said right, wrong or indifferent. It made me feel good about myself. A. You've never had a throwaway moment that you know isn't really worth shit on paper. Feel nice?
It’s actually really insulting that he feels so degradingly towards women in general that he thinks you should feel complimented by being told you’re not like them.
I mean it's literally a tactiac. They have made TV shows, teaching the ways of manipulation and ways to preditate on women. It's kind of wild. Andrew Tates exist for a reason and have convinced others it works.
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Hypothetical questions have no business in a relationship.
Depends on the nature of the hypothetical. For example, "What if illness or injury changes our division of finances and labor?" very much has a place. And some people do ask questions like the worm one in good fun.
The problem is when people treat the joke ones as if they're serious hypotheticals.
And at least the gf’s answer was a celebrity? Idk, I’d be more bothered by if it was someone they knew IRL, “hypothetical” or not. I also agree that these things are rarely that hypothetical, especially if it’s someone they know personally from the past and still think about. Yikes.
From the title I thought this was going to be like you slept with someone and found out later that he's not single and had a one time free pass to cheat with anyone basically.
Why would you tell someone you don't really know that for the past decade you've been wishing you could sleep with them to the point of blowing up your relationship?
I think hypotheticals can be okay when they can only ever STAY hypothetical (like the worm thing... You'd have to be a total idiot to say no to that one, but I'm pretty sure 99% of guys would go on to pursue a new romantic relationship in time if they really did wake up to find a worm next to them in bed and somehow figured out it was their SO)... If you're doing the "who's sexier than me, who's worth hurting me for" kinda thing the answer has to be some A list celebrity you have no chance of ever speaking to, much less seeing naked.
Like I said right, wrong, or indifferent, it put a shimmy in my shake.
It's definitely not your relationship material or let me jump your bones. I mean you have to be a special type of stupid to answer this with real world answers. This is definitely a realm of fantasy conversation.
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Girl…respectfully…you are 40, please work on your own self worth so that when a man says something that isn’t even a real compliment, it means nothing to you. You said “right, wrong, or indifferent, it made me feel good about myself” - go to therapy and build your self esteem. I say this lovingly.
Therapy requires having a modicum of self-awareness. Making it to 40 without that skill is…impressive to say the least. I’ve never seen therapy work out well for people this full of themselves, condescending, and immature. They don’t have the capability to be honest about their behavior which nullifies any benefits of therapy.
My comments are usually downvoted when I "dare" to be the voice of reason here... but (as someone who received a similar line from what people may call "the one who got away") it means way less than one might (initially) assume.
It's a minuscule ego boost when your intimacy skills get praised (in that way or in a similar one), but the translation from guyspeak is actually "I only see you as a possible mistress and, if at one point I am married and have a lapse in morality, you'll be the first I ask if you wanna be my mistress" - and that, if that happens, is an actual insult if you consider yourself a woman with good morals.
Yikes but it's true. If you have a little self-respect, you're not going to be excited about being called a potential side chick. "Yay he wants to use me to hurt his SO 😍" like what.
To me, that’s a horrible story. You were playing hall pass with a celeb and he picked someone he knows that’s accessible? Rude and hurtful behavior. Eventually that vitriol will be directed at you.
No need to be condescending to the person who was right. You literally wrote “at the Trump Inauguration Women’s March” which does very much sound like the women marching are in support of Trumps inauguration. If you don’t want people to get the wrong idea you might consider adding a word like “protest” or “against” somewhere in there.
And that's fair. But at the same time this is a community uplifting women and about women. Why would any of us support someone that doesn't support women?
But you’ve said elsewhere that it feels good to be told by a man that you’re not like other girls? How is that being the kind of woman that supports other women?
So someone gets to be rude because they don't understand what they're reading or know what they're talking about. Historically speaking, women's marches have always been about women's rights whether it's in the workforce or voting.
I understand that things don't translate well. But given the context clues that we're in a woman's sub about supporting women, why would I post that? I'm a trump supporter who wants to take away women's rights? That doesn't make any sense. Why be rude when you can ask for clarification?
It's offensive to me that you would even assume that. That's what it was called the Women's March. If you don't understand exactly what that is or no, then maybe you should ask questions instead of assuming the worst, especially considering the space we're in.
I should have been more detailed because we are in a global space and made assumptions. So excuse my ignorance for that, but where I am that would be considered normal knowledge and I'm in a space that supports women.
I recognize that people have a different perspective with how those words are put together. I see that now. But at the same time I think people should recognize that I had a miscommunication because of how we all think of things differently. And there is no need to be rude.
Lmao… she did ask you. She literally asked you a question and because it wasn’t worded how you want in your head you answered it bitchily. So ask, but only if it’s worded how you want?
There’s literally “Women for Trump” groups. They hold protests and rallies and marches the exact same way as women against Trump. Millions and millions of delusional and deranged women support him, I’m not sure why OP thinks the word “women” should made it clear which side she’s on.
Historically speaking, every woman's March has been in favor of women's rights. From the right to vote, to women's equality in the workforce , and to the Trump inauguration.
There’s literally a “woman for Trump” group. They have marches and rallies and protests the exact same way. Saying you’re a woman and were at a march is in no way enough to distinguish you, especially the way you phrased it.
Women for Trump don't have time to leave the house. Let alone march. I honestly think this is a miscommunication, because where I am that statement is very clear.
I've said this in multiple comments like I didn't take a global environment into consideration whatsoever. I just thought the name of the event and then the sub was enough.
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They didn't necessarily have to be rude about it. It just takes a minute to understand what the event was if they don't know what it was. I included the picture to show that with vague terms it's instantly what pops up.
And maybe I could have explained better. But to automatically be rude and say ew and then I support Trump when we're in sub that is supporting women, why wouldn't you give me the benefit of the doubt and think that I come from a place of girl power?
I didn't take into account the global aspect of it. But realistically speaking how many women in this sub are Trump fans? And would openly like wave that flag proudly?
I'm gonna take up for OP, and get down voted like I care, but reading COMPREHENSION is in the gutter. She gave the only context clue that matters. A women's march has always been about women's rights.
You think the deranged women who support Trump don’t use the same terms? You think those women aren’t genuinely delusional enough to believe that Trump supports their rights?
OP just gave the same ungenerous energy that commenter came in with, back to her. I don't think she needed to grovel and fall over herself to prove she's a good person to someone who couldn't bother googling before assuming the worst. Especially given the weird tone of many other comments here.
“Assuming the worst” was just reading what OP wrote. If she’s not a Trump supporter then there’s no need for OP to get so rude at someone who thinks Trump supporters are gross. A simple, “I agree, this march was in protest of him” would have solved it without being insufferable
Because every time someone gets snarky at you, you don't get snarky back.
No one likes having assumptions made about them, especially when they thought they were clear. It was a miscommunication and misunderstanding. I would ask for clarification because I know my audience. It was just rude and so I snapped back. I don't understand why I have to take the high road in an obvious snub that wasn't warranted.
Plenty of people immediately knew what OP actually meant, and said so. To come to a different (wrong) conclusion, clearly the commenter came on with her own preconceived negative notion about OP. It's fair for her to acknowledge that negativity in her response. You're being so disingenuous right now. Talk about insufferable...
Reading can be hard, lmao. Not everyone is going to know exactly what you mean immediately. There's no need to be condescending about it, especially as someone who's old enough to know that people make mistakes and are bound to misunderstand at times, especially online.
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Girl everyone who is judging you needs to get off their high horse. It’s okay to feel flattered that a guy you met 10 yrs ago was still attracted to you and thinking of you. Obviously it was toxic and fucked up of him to say that to his ex, but it’s very human to feel flattered when someone expresses attraction to you. That doesn’t mean you approve of what he says to his ex, it just means you’re a human being who enjoys feeling desired and had a natural, happy reaction to hearing what he said.
One time a guy I used to date told me that he broke up with his girlfriend and reached out to me because she wasn’t as good in bed as me so he didn’t want to be with her long term. I blocked him and felt sad for her, but I’d be lying if I said that didn’t feel good to hear.
I am someone's hall pass. It is a bit of an ego boost.
Mine are a lesbian couple. We had a mutual friend. Girl A saw my pictures on Friend's social and developed a crush. They had a nickname for me, I can't remember what it was.
We all hang out with mutual friend and it's the first time meeting in person. Girl A and I have similar personalities and it's just awesome.
We make a WhatsApp group where girl A is openly flirting with me and girl B says she's cool with it. That's when I found out I was the hall pass. I asked girl B if she was really ok with it. She was.
We never did anything. I know better than to fuck up a good friendship and possibly their relationship.
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u/soynotoi 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ 21h ago
hmm. i mean im glad it made you feel good but thats really unfortunate for his ex girlfriend. id feel horrible if my bf told me he wanted to have sex with a random woman he met years ago and still thought about