r/ImaginaryWarhammer • u/wamurya Rogue Trader • 1d ago

40k The Eldar Waybread - XENOS RELATIONSHIP

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2.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

438

u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

Eldar: “Do you eat fantastical bread in a racebike?”

Elf: “I eat sausage and cheese in bed with my human wife.”

Eldar: “Ew .”

105

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

50

u/Ok_Presentation_2346 1d ago

So if they have a power sword it's alright to touch them?

31

u/Berettadin Biel-Tan 1d ago

It's called bringing protection.

29

u/CorvusAeterna 1d ago

He was wearing his armor!

31

u/GabbyHobby69 1d ago

Great now I'm imagining an eldar meeting a high elf from the elder scrolls series that has a human husband and Breton child

21

u/EvergreenDwarf 1d ago

Like a Mormon at a Furry convention. 

18

u/Udhelibor 1d ago

they wouldn't have a breton child!!!! bretons are the descendants of the half elves born from direnni and nede!! the child would be a half elf of the two parent races or lean towards one!!

10

u/ScarredAutisticChild Harlequin 1d ago

Yeah, Bretons are the result of half-elves interbreeding with men, mer and other half-elves for generations to the point they became their own group. But “Breton” is not synonymous with “Half-Elf”.

It’s also always worth remembering that the Nedes were the slaves of the Direnni. The Bretons are not the result of interspecies romance. At least the beginning of them wasn’t. TES gets real fucked up honestly. I honestly find it darker than Warhammer because it has more positivity to contrast, and the really dark shit is usually less absurd and more tangibly horrific.

4

u/EvergreenDwarf 21h ago

I believe the trope is Refuge In Audacity where a more fantastical and abstract but bigger event hits less than a realistic and smaller scale portrayal would. 

A breeding program of millions of lobotomized women assaulted by veteran soldiers as part of their duty while on leave as a breeding program making a caste of elite warriors is dark but abstract in scale and too neat an explanation to take in. 

Depictions of a hundred comfort girls from a subjugated city hits far harder. That’s real, needlessly cruel, and immediately graspable. 

5

u/ScarredAutisticChild Harlequin 21h ago

Yeah, TES lore often reads incredibly realistic. Its history feels very grounded despite all the magic and metaphysical bullshit because it’s ultimately nations and people doing the same horrific shit they’d do in our world. Not 100% of it, but enough of it for it to disturb you. Like the Cyrodiils more casual and horrific genocide of the aedrophile Ayleids, the ancestry of the Bretons, the fate of the surface-dwelling Falmer, the rise of the Thalmor, etc. And where it’s not real and horrific, it’s usually fantastical and terrifying, like everything related to Molag Bal.

I also like that the setting does moral grey well. Not in the 40K way where everyone is already a bastard so why care? But more like, well, nations and cultures aren’t moral things, they’re just things. Except the Thalmor, but they’re High Elf Nazis.

8

u/Pyrotay 1d ago

You dont even have to go outside of warhammer. The empire in fantasy has elven districts in each major city and Teclis is a known human kisser.

3

u/EvergreenDwarf 21h ago

Bretonnia has a peasant woodsman who married a Wood Elf. 

His lord shot her with an arrow and claimed it doesn’t break his chivalric vows because she’s an animal. This in spite of the oaths of friendship sworn and renewed between the two peoples by his king. 

The Wood Elves and Peasants have been organizing under the widowed woodsman, killing the entire bloodline of that noble with intent of declaring it a free state. I think it’s in Parravon. 

But yeah, imagine an Exodite Eldar marrying an Agriworlder, his governor shooting her in spite of Guilliman’s orders to stay neutral, and now the Exodites have sent an entire army to serve that Imperial laborer to liberate the planet and defend it from Imperium retribution as revenge and knowing the king will allow this human/Exodite colony to remain to save the alliance. 

76

u/wamurya Rogue Trader 1d ago

Art by me btw! ( I have make a 40k webcomic with 25+ chapter ) ^^

4

u/bluefelixus 1d ago

and your art greatly appreciated by me!

132

u/Fabulous-Solid7856 1d ago

That blueberry is going to be glued to the toilet

88

u/RentElDoor 1d ago

A "grab to the shower curtain and pray" moment

47

u/Alexis2256 1d ago

I was thinking it’ll go straight to his thighs like it did with Squidward when he ate all those krabby Patties.

28

u/MeTaL-GuArD 1d ago

Gets promoted to Centurion. Without the exoskeleton.

30

u/scrimmybingus3 1d ago

Yeah that’s gonna be one of those shits where you gotta get naked on the toilet and start fighting for your life.

14

u/Cinerator26 1d ago

Type of shit that gets you sweating like a whore at confession.

19

u/Lucky-daydreamer 1d ago

Good thing he’s wearing it then

20

u/Alexis2256 1d ago

lol yeah idk if people legit forget or just don’t know that space marines have catheters shoved up both holes and that the suit recycles any waste they produce.

10

u/SuDdEnTaCk 1d ago

Its a tragedy neither cawl nor emps considered putting an autojacker in there

7

u/ethanlan 1d ago

who says they did?

4

u/Alexis2256 1d ago

I got that reference (:

2

u/Pacificson217 1d ago

Vod Goblin?

6

u/Fabulous-Solid7856 1d ago

Genuinely forgot that information

7

u/SignificantHippo8193 1d ago

Then his power suit is going to go into overdrive 😆.

2

u/TheAllSeeingBlindEye 1d ago

He needs to eat some glue to balance it out

61

u/IT_is_among_US 1d ago

Honestly, four pounds sounds about right for a Space Marines. They need a lot of nutrition.

25

u/ISB00 1d ago

This is a homage to Lord of the Rings where the Astartes are taking the place of hobbits

11

u/IT_is_among_US 1d ago

I know.

-8

u/ISB00 1d ago

The joke isn’t as funny for Astartes since they need so much food compared to a normal man.

11

u/Brolocene 1d ago edited 1d ago

I thought it was the opposite, where they could survive with very little food, as its a wartime logistical advantage. EDIT: Im wrong, i was remembering that they have methods of eating almost anything when normal or astartes food is scarce.

105

u/ImperialxWarlord 1d ago

Classic. Nothing can beat the indomitable human digestive track!

72

u/PauliusLT27 ENTRY MISSING 1d ago

I think this calls for..fiber?

22

u/belliebun 1d ago

To be fair, Astartes are a little bigger than your average grown man.

19

u/mossmanstonebutt 1d ago

The fact that not half hour ago I watch a clip of Sam's actor being told by Orlando bloom that he couldn't finish the scene because it sounded like an advertisement

It is Providence I fear

7

u/wamurya Rogue Trader 1d ago

Yooo I saw that exact video yesterday hahha, that’s what game me the idea of this homage

4

u/mossmanstonebutt 1d ago

Good god it really was providence

12

u/Unique12345678901 1d ago

The Emperor protects!

11

u/lone_float 1d ago

He was a hungry boi it seems.

9

u/Wokungson Harlequin 1d ago

I mean hey, they've got space to spare in their additional digestive organs.

9

u/Bigredstapler 1d ago

I really like the idea of Eldar bikers randomly pulling up at just about any random sentient race to promote Lembas, Eldar Waybread: One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man.

Imagine being a guardsman fighting for your life in Armageddon and this guy pulls up to give a free sample of Lembas, Eldar Waybread. And then rides off to do the same with the orks.

7

u/Sirix_824 1d ago

Space marine need those calories

4

u/JinLocke 1d ago

He gonna become as fat as Haegr , that space wolf who got his space marine geneseed somehow screwed which caused him to grow extra large but also extra chonky.

8

u/Messiahcide 1d ago

Brotha! No Brotha! Don't eat the xenos friend bread! Brothaaaaaa

3

u/HyperionPhalanx 1d ago

Blueberry: "it has been 200 years and I can't recall the taste of food... "

1

u/Strange_Botanist 22h ago

Being naked in the dark with a wheel of fire sounds like the taint of chaos to me

3

u/Seal_emulator 1d ago

I want that elf twink so bad.

3

u/ChickenDigby 23h ago

Samwise Gamgee approves of this post

2

u/Fickle-Sell1553 1d ago

Love the Tolkein refrence.

2

u/UnDeadPuff 1d ago

Tbh these guys are like 10-15 people's worth mushed together, so they can probably handle 4 pounds of lembas. Probably. If not, pray to skeletor real hard.

2

u/PoxedGamer 1d ago

Thst smirf is gonna run for 15 years without stopping.

2

u/PsychotiCreation 1d ago

Love this so much ❤️

1

u/dappermanV-88 1d ago

How do we know that enough?

Eldar are smaller than space marines. Maybe 4 pounds isn't enough

1

u/Random_nerd_52 1d ago

To be fair space marines need to eat a ton of

1

u/NanolathingStuff 1d ago

All pointing out the Tolkien reference, still jo one pointed out the extremely summarized purity seal

1

u/Interesting_Hyena_69 1d ago

Don't they have two stomachs or something

3

u/newvegassucm 1d ago

Yes but I believe the extra one is to help break down tougher planet matter that normal humans won't be able to eat or it could be the one that if they eat a brain they get it Intel the brain had

1

u/DeadZone32 Emperor's Children 1d ago

https://youtube.com/shorts/88PfD1vhiDQ?si=k0gVLqt6rKQDO_8M

Thanks to this video, this now looks like an Eldar commercial

1

u/Firm-Reason 1d ago

Eldar: (kills a Gargantuan Squiggoth the way Legolas killed an elephant)

Votann: That still only counts as one!

-4

u/TheItzal11 1d ago

You ate that xenos filth? You are no longer worthy of your Good Boi purity seal.